She's the One Who Cares Too Much

by S. R. Cronin

  “We’re lucky she doesn’t need us for anything,” one singer said.

  “Why can’t you people make her stop?” one singer asked.

  “I wish we could. We’re a fraction as powerful as people think we are,” I said.

  “Then fake her out somehow,” said the man who played the drum.

  “Not a bad idea,” I said. “She does want to think we’re more powerful than we are. Getting people to act on their desires is what we do best.”

  “Then it’s how you stop her,” the female singer said. “Make her as frightened of you as you are of her.”

  I considered. “We could end up making everyone more scared of luskies if we’re not careful.”

  The tall blonde woman touched my arm. “I’m willing to do anything. I have so much to lose.”

  The other luski agreed. “I’ll deal with the consequences later.”

  “You’re sure? Because I have an idea for how to scare her and I have the connections to set it in motion.”

  I don’t know what she’d threatened either of them with, but neither hesitated. “Please. Do it.” They said it in unison.

  Early the next morning I set off for the massive wall being built along the border between Pilk and Gruen. Stories had circulated the realm of how the Svadlu intended to make their stand against the Mongols along this barrier while all the nichnas outside of it would be evacuated and left undefended by our army. In those abandoned outer nichnas, Ryalgar’s Lion, Snake, and Goat would be allowed to harass and reduce the Mongol hoard any way they could.

  The wall had come to symbolize the upcoming conflict. It instilled fear in those behind its protection as well as in those whose homes lay on the wrong side of it. Every citizen of Ilari who looked at this colossal barricade of stone and mud shuddered.

  I found Sulphur directing several young people adding rocks and filling to the top of the wall. A taller wall was better. She waved at me from a full five heights above me.

  “I’ll be right there.”

  Once she’d made her way down one of the many rope ladders, she greeted me. “So, you got away from the baby for a day? Having fun on the loose by yourself?”

  It would have been a nice outing if my breasts hadn’t been hard as rocks by then, filled with so much unused milk that riding a horse was painful and all I could think about was getting home to Votto and sweet relief.

  “We have to talk about Iolite. The entire rest of the family is worried sick about her,” I said in greeting. “What were the two of you thinking when you planned this? What did you expect?”

  “Wait a minute.” She held up her hands in protest. “Don’t go putting any of this on me. I didn’t plan anything and I had nothing to do with her helping the Svadlu. They brought me in at the end when they started to worry about our parents trying too hard to find her.”

  “I believe you.” Sulphur’s inability to lie was a legend in my family. “But then why are you hiding her now?”

  “I’m not. Others promised her privacy, for reasons I don’t know. I’m honoring their promise.”

  “You’re not going to tell me, are you?”

  “I can’t tell you. Go ahead and try to make me. You’ll see. I simply don’t know.”

  Her question annoyed me. “I thought you understood. I can only make you tell me if you want to.”

  She shook her head and laughed. “I thought you understood. I absolutely want to tell you, but I can’t because others won’t tell me.”

  Why did Iolite want to stay hidden? Whatever her reasons, shouldn’t I respect them too?

  “Is giving her this time she needs so important?”

  Sulphur nodded. “I think it is.”

  “Well then, I’ll tell Mom Iolite is safe, and I’ll insinuate she’s involved in something super secret with the army. I’ll beg her and Dad not to tell anyone else for the sake of our realm. It’ll buy Iolite some time and, by then, I hope she’ll be ready to explain her whereabouts to everyone.”

  Sulphur agreed. “Want to go get an ale together?” she offered.

  An ale sounded great. If my chest hadn’t hurt so badly, I’d have jumped on the chance.

  “I need to get back home. Next time.”

  Chapter 19. Growing Teeth

  The unusually warm summer made us all lethargic. It got so bad my school held classes only in the morning and most of us did our chores early in the day or at dusk and rested in the heat of the afternoon.

  I yearned for mid-day naps, but Votto’s teeth grew in, and the pain in his mouth made him cranky. I went to the market to get clove oil from the Velka and was surprised to find Joli, Ryalgar’s best friend, working at the Velka’s stall.

  “We’re all having to take a turn these days,” she explained. “What with all the fear in the air, Ilarians can’t seem to get enough of our remedies. What can I help you with?”

  I asked for her best treatment for sore baby gums. I hadn’t intended to do more, but I probably wouldn’t get a better opportunity to put my luski-saving plan into action.

  “Since you’re here, can I get you to share a message with Ryalgar? A confidential one?” Of course, Joli looked pleased at being asked.

  “I need her to know that, well, by custom luskies don’t interact much.”

  “I think she knows that.”

  “I know she does. But this whole Mongol thing has forced us to spend more time together and get to know each other. I ran into other luskies in Pilk and ended up drinking in a tavern with them.”

  “Wow. You? Out drinking? That is news.” She grinned.

  “Yeah. I know. While I was there, though, we discovered something Ryalgar should know. You and Grandma Aliz, too, of course. We, um, we thought we had certain limitations on how much we could persuade someone.”

  “Yeah. We know that too.”

  “And you know working with singers lets us influence animals, something we’re unable to do on our own.”

  “Right. Tell me something I don’t know.” She spoke kindly enough, but other customers were looking at us with impatience in their eyes. I blew out a short puff of air. Here went nothing.

  “Well, we found out when we work together, just luskies, no singers, and there’s more than two of us, those old restraints with other humans don’t apply so much. In fact, if you get several of us together, it looks like we can make a person do almost anything. Maybe even harm themselves or others. They don’t have to want to do it, either. It’s scary how much more power we have as a group.”

  “Are you nuts? It’s wonderful. You people could get the Mongols to all kill themselves! Forget this other nonsense we’re working on. You can stop the whole invasion for us.”

  Okay. I hadn’t fully thought through the ramifications of my lie.

  I searched for a way out.

  “Uh, yeah, but it’s like we can only do one person at a time, and it takes quite a while. It’s more like a whole group of us can gang up on one lone person.”

  “Oh. Too bad. Doesn’t seem like it would have much of an application in battle then.”

  “No, but we’ll keep looking into it, just in case. I mean, because we’ve always been so secretive, we’ve never worked together before. Who knows what we’ll find out if we keep experimenting? I wanted the top of the Velka command to be aware. You know, in case anything comes of it.”

  She paused, considering. “Does Hana know about this yet?”

  “Oh, I’m sure she must.” The lie slipped out easily. “A couple of the luskies from Pilk said they’d let her know. She’ll like the news, I think.”

  “I bet she will. Okay. I appreciate this, and I’ll pass it on to Ryalgar. I’ll catch-up with Hana about it as well, just in case.”

  All the way back to my cottage I kept thinking yes, please talk to Hana. Please.

  Next, I had to get back to Pilk without Votto. That meant I had to leave him with Mom. That meant I had to talk to Mom.

  The last time I’d seen her, I arrived at the farmhouse after
my conversation with Sulphur along the giant wall on Pilk’s border. I’d done my best to balance news of Iolite’s safety with a good bit of mystery about the wheres and whys of her situation. I’d been helped by my own bulging breasts, desperate to feed Votto, and his ravenous hunger for the only substance in the world he considered to be real food.

  Because I could only feed him at one teat at a time, the other began to spurt milk as soon as he latched on, leaving my clothes soaked and a mess on the floor. It was easy to be vague about Iolite in the middle of such commotion.

  This time, Mom would have more well-thought-out questions for me.

  Luckily, I had another distraction in my back pocket and her name was Hana. I wasn’t eager to go there, but these were desperate times.

  “I’d rather not know details of what you can and can’t do as a luski,” my mother said. “It’s taken me many days to accept you are one and to realize I love you anyway. You’ll always be my daughter, no matter what sort of monster you are.”

  Yup … pretty much what I’d expected.

  “But Mom, I’m afraid I’m being turned into a worse monster. Hana ….”

  “Oh, her. She’s been in and out of here since the start of all this. I don’t particularly like that woman, and I don’t think she has Ryalgar’s best interests at heart.”

  “She doesn’t. She’s been pushing us in ways that make me uncomfortable. All the luskies I know have a strong moral code and inherent restrictions on what we can do. She’s trying to get us past those things, to turn us into actual monsters. I think it’s power she’s after.”

  “Does this have anything to do with the conversation you and I had? One where you intimated you’d been threatened?”

  This seemed as good a time as any to tie it all together for Mom.

  “Yes. She’s threatened to expose me as a luski.”

  “What? I thought you said the Velka promised to hide your identity through all this.”

  “They did. They promised every one of us that, but she’s threatening to selectively ignore the promise and expose each of us to the one person we’d least like to have the information. In my case, if I don’t do what she asks, she’ll tell Davor.”

  “Oh, dear. He’s not the sort of man to handle that well, is he? How pathetic of her.”

  “It’s worse.” It embarrassed me to tell Mom the next part, but it also felt good to tell her the truth. “Davor’s latest girlfriend is a friend of Hana’s. Some woman from Pilk named Ketevan.”

  Mom sucked in her breath, offended on my behalf. I guessed she thought I shouldn’t have been exposed to information about whom my husband slept with.

  “Hana says once she tells Davor about me, Ketevan can convince him he should take his baby away from such a monster. This woman, his woman, would get to raise my child!”

  My voice went to a high pitch with these last few words and, pruck it, my eyes welled up with tears. My mother looked aghast, and I thought she’d slap me for crying.

  Instead, she said “We have to stop her. What can I do?”

  Alright Mom.

  I took a deep breath and regained my composure.

  “We need to make people scared of her, not us,” I said. “We need to start rumors, slow and careful rumors, about how luskies are moral and caring and our talents are rooted in a desire to save lives, not hurt people. But Hana is so ambitious she’s seeking ways to corrupt us. We need people to know she’s the frightening one. Not us.”

  “I see. Well, there’s been plenty of speculation about these plans of Ryalgar’s. Some insist there’s magic involved, and others say it’s nonsense, and she’s using nothing but clever illusions. I’ve heard more than one story about the part luskies are playing.”

  “It doesn’t surprise me. People talk.”

  “Then it won’t surprise you they talk to me. Given most of my daughters are involved, folks have the crazy idea I could know something,” She actually grinned. “I’ve been very quiet. Out of respect for Ryalgar and out of concern for all of my daughters’ welfare. I suppose, even out of hope this crazy scheme works and saves our lives. Meanwhile, every day your father throws all the energy he’s got into this, with the same hope.”

  “It’s funny, Mom. I hadn’t even thought of this from your point of view. Or his.”

  “Well, up till now my part has been to stay out of the way and not cause problems. But if you think a few well-placed rumors would help, I’ll see what I can do.”

  Wow. Better than I’d hoped.

  “Anything else?” she asked as pleasantly as if she’d just offered me a pastry and wanted to know if I’d like some fruit with it.

  “Yeah, there is. I need to ride over to Pilk today and spend the night. I have to talk to the other luskies without Hana around, and it’s the only way I know to do it.”

  She winced. “That cute baby of yours cried almost non-stop when you were gone last time. And look what a mess you were. I’m not sure you two are ready to be apart.”

  “I’ve been working on it the whole ank. He’s been getting some gruel and cow's milk every day and I’ve been nursing him less. He’ll do better and so will I. I promise.”

  I galloped out of there, lighter with no baby attached to me but burdened instead by all the provisions my mom insisted I take. I stopped at Janx’s little farm.

  “Coral!” Chessa called to me from their front porch, as I hopped off of Nutmeg.

  “Hey, young lady,” I responded. “Don’t you think it’s time you started coming back to school?” I was happy to see her too, but getting concerned about her absences.

  Her father came outside, looking healthier than he had in anks. He’d cleaned up, gained back some of his weight and the glow of his skin spoke of time spent outdoors and not grieving in bed.

  “I’ve been meaning to talk to you. I know I’ve been selfish, but it’s helped to have her around during the day, and it’s hardly seemed worth the effort to take her to school just for morning classes. But she’s falling behind and it’s not fair to her. Next ank, I promise I’ll have her there, at least most days.”

  I knew Chessa needed that, and not just for learning. Playing with other children would help her, too. What could I do to ensure Janx kept his promise?

  “They’ve suspended the option to sleep at the school until the heat passes. If it would help, she could spend a night or two each ank with me instead.”

  “Yes!” Chessa said.

  “No, I wouldn’t want to be a bother.” He said it at the same time.

  “The truth? I can get a few chores of my own done while Chessa keeps an eye on Votto. I’d consider it a favor if you could spare her. We’d exchange babysitting for her dinner and little extra tutoring to get her caught up?”

  “Yay!” Chessa said. “I’m old enough to babysit.”

  “Not really.” Her father smiled at me as he said it.

  “You can do me another favor,” I said. I turned to my heavy rucksack. “I don’t want to lug all of this to Pilk, but my mother insisted on sending it with me.” I pulled out some smoked sausages, bread, and fresh-picked pears. “Perhaps you’d take some off my hands?”

  “Dinner!” Chessa’s enthusiasm bubbled over again and I wondered when she’d last had a real meal.

  “The food from the neighbors has sort of trickled off,” he said. “I’ve also promised I’ll get better about making regular meals for her. Kids need that.”

  As I readied myself to leave he added “So, you’re off to Pilk to see your husband?”

  His voice was casual. The question was reasonable. But it brought me to a complete stop.

  “No. Though he and I must speak from time to time, we seldom see each other. The rumors you’ve probably heard are true.”

  “I didn’t mean …”

  “It’s okay. It’s an appropriate inquiry of a woman who is offering to watch your child.” I recognized I’d become more formal. “My husband and I are estranged. We’ve agreed to divorce after Kolada, after th
is horrible invasion. Until then, we lead separate lives.”

  “I see. I’m sorry for you both.”

  “Enjoy the dinner.”

  As I turned to go, he added, “You’re one of the kindest people I know. Thank you.”

  I used the rest of the ride over to Pilk to clear my head. To be honest, I did find Janx attractive. My mother spoke the truth; he and Chessa had the more russet skin tones, deep black hair, and iron-colored eyes common among Faroojers. I wasn’t drawn specifically to his appearance even though he looked better now that he took care of himself again. No, the intensity of his eyes drew me in most. This man had stood up to his own family, choosing a more difficult life to do what was right. The power of that decision showed in his gaze.

  I also knew he and his daughter offered the promise of a life I’d never have with Davor. Chessa would provide Votto with a ready-made sibling, and there’d likely be more children as well. I knew I wanted that.

  I thought Janx liked me, too. Not only did he seem to find me pleasing, but I was a ready-made solution to several of his problems. Chessa needed a mother. His life and his farming would be easier with someone to do the chores a woman usually handled. My life, of course, would be easier with a male to do the same.

  We Ilarians were practical people. We married to make our lives simpler as well as to share affection and sex. Although many of my sisters had quarrels with the traditional division of labor, I found it a reasonable system, perhaps because my talents and interests were well-suited to it.

  My mom’s tacit acceptance of Janx and her acknowledging one marriage to a prince was enough, helped. I’d have her blessing. My father, as always, would be content with whatever made me happy.

  But Janx and I had obstacles as well. He’d loved his wife and would grieve for a long time. Chessa liked me now, but I hadn’t stepped in to replace her mother and it could be another matter if I did. How would I handle a child turned resentful?

  Meanwhile, my priority through Kolada had be my role in Ryalgar’s scheme, in her Chimera. She’d convinced me the lives of those I cared about depended on my success as a powerful luski. If the Chimera failed, any plans for after Kolada were moot.