She's the One Who Cares Too Much

by S. R. Cronin

  “That’s the best we can hope for,” Hana said.

  Listening to their conversation, I understood the dangers in a way I hadn’t yet.

  Farmers, like Janx, would stride into this mess, hoping to corral a couple of hundred confused warriors. Even if successful, blows would be struck. Sure, we’d devised a clever way to fight, but we’d also devised a good way to get people killed.

  Ilarians would die while we sang.

  As we gathered our things to head home, I walked over to Gypsum, and she came towards me.

  “So the mask didn’t do much to disguise me?” I said.

  She laughed. “I’d know that red hair of yours anywhere. Plus, I’d heard you were part of this. A luski, huh? A mother, too. Which is weirder?”

  “They’re both pretty strange. I’ve heard about you, too.” I gave a vague gesture towards the rest of the reczavy. “Are you happy with them?”

  “Very.” She gave me a careful look. “I belong.”

  She didn’t have to say more. I was, after all, the sister who’d comforted her as a small child when she cried because she thought my mother hated her. My mother didn’t, of course, but she and Gypsum’s relationship had always been difficult.

  “I’m glad for you,” I said.

  “I can’t wait to meet Votto,” she replied.

  “We’ll make it happen soon. He’s a cutie.”

  We hugged and parted, and all the way home I wished I’d asked her more questions.

  Chapter 23. Getting Sentimental

  When we practiced two days before Sashi, Hana was in high spirits. At first, I figured she saw how our efforts came together and felt proud of us. But as the morning went on, I realized something else had happened. She kept looking at me as if she couldn’t wait to tell me something.

  I knew I wasn’t going to like it.

  I made it to Nutmeg’s side after we finished, but she grabbed my arm before I could mount.

  “Don’t rush off. I need to have a little chat with you.” Her nails curled into my flesh.

  “We no longer chat. I thought I was clear about that.”

  “Oh, don’t be so dramatic. This isn’t about you, anyway.”

  When she didn’t say more and didn’t let go of my arm, I took the bait. I shouldn’t have.

  “Okay. Who do we need to talk about?”

  “Your sister. I’m worried about her.”

  That was nice. I worried about all six of them, but Hana didn’t need to know that.

  “Uh, which one?”

  “Ryalgar, of course. The poor dear. She is in such a precarious position.”

  No, I didn’t like where this was going.

  “How so?”

  “I visited my good friend Ketevan. She’s your husband’s girlfriend, remember her? She’s something of an item in the social circles of Pilk.”

  “That’s nice.”

  “It is for you. Davor does send you money, doesn’t he? You should be grateful. She’s enhanced his career a lot.”

  “That’s nice.” I wondered how many times I could say the same two words before she noticed.

  “She’s made friends at court and she’s befriended Nevik’s wife. You know, the princess from the adjoining realm, alone in a strange country? They tried to pretend it was a marriage of love but everyone knows her parents forced her into it for the sake of a treaty. She has so few friends here, but Ketevan is one of them.”

  ‘“That’s nice.”

  She still hadn’t noticed.

  “Not long ago, she confided to Ketevan that her husband has a lover. He’s had one since before their marriage and guess what? She’s a Velka. Can you believe it?”

  “Leave my sister out of this.”

  “I didn’t put your sister into anything; she put herself into this. It invariably becomes public knowledge, you know.”

  “I thought you Velka prided yourselves on keeping each other’s secrets.”

  “Of course we do.”

  I felt the luski inside me growing stronger. I would not be pushed around by this woman again.

  “Then you better hope news of Ryalgar’s affair never leaks out of the forest,” I said. “I’d hate to have to tell my sister you were the likely source of the leak.”

  Yes, I did add a touch of timbre to my speech, just enough to make the idea of being a known Velka snitch seem more unpleasant than it already did.

  “Oh, I’d never do such a thing. I’m a good Velka. But my friend has become close to this poor princess, and she’s trying to help the woman stand up for herself. I thought, perhaps, you and I could work together to ensure the whole situation doesn’t get any messier.”

  A year ago, I’d have jumped in with my concern, anxious to save my sister. But I’d learned better ways to avoid problems with some people.

  “Let me repeat. You and I will not work together on this or anything.” I couldn’t believe how rude I sounded, and I was just getting started. “Furthermore, what my sister does is her business. I’m not involved.”

  “I see. Well then, I’ll have to take up this delicate matter directly with her. Is that what you want?”

  “Yes. You do that. After Kolada.”

  “Exactly. After Kolada.”

  I left feeling pretty sure this was one of those weird conversations in which we both felt we’d gotten the better of the other.

  I have fond memories of the holidays when I was a child and of the way my mother decorated the house and prepared the special foods associated with the day. Sashi was my favorite. We filled the holiday with the oranges of pumpkins and turning leaves and, even though no one said so, I thought the holiday matched my hair.

  Holidays change when you get older, though. Children nearing adulthood want to be with their friends, and soon there is whispered excitement amongst both boys and girls about the freedoms coming with maturity. There is also fear and embarrassment, to be honest, on all sides, but later you realize it’s all part of the difficult process of becoming an adult.

  What I didn’t expect was how people come full circle. Once you have your own children, you want to spend the holidays with your family again, and even with your parents. So I packed up Votto and all his supplies, and I headed over to my parents' farm the day before Sashi.

  They fussed over him, of course, insisting he try the applesauce prepared for the day. It was his first taste of a fruit, and he spit it back out with a giant blubbering of his lips that made my dad laugh so hard he cried. I think the tension of the upcoming Kolada affected us all.

  Later in the evening, after she’d had a few goblets of wine, my mother mentioned the surprising change in how people felt about luskies.

  “So many households have watched your group practice, and they’re all so impressed with how nice you people are.”

  “Do you think many of them recognize me as being part of the group?”

  She gave a helpless little shrug. “Let’s face it, if even a strand of your hair is visible, it makes you stand out and it’s hard to hide every strand. But so far, everyone has been too polite to mention their theories to me.”

  I must have looked worried because she added “I think if this all ends well, people will either accept what you can do or be nice enough to forget about it when all is done.”

  “I hope so.”

  “There is this persistent unsubstantiated rumor afoot.” She actually winked at me. “It claims a renegade in the Velka has pushed the luskies to do questionable things, and the luskies have resisted with great bravery. I have no idea where such a story came from.” She looked quite pleased with herself.

  “We’re lucky this renegade Velka seems to have backed off for now,” I said.

  “Yes. Quite lucky. Well, if things change, the groundwork has been laid.”

  “Thanks, Mom.”

  The next morning Mom and I had our much-needed conversation about child care during an invasion.

  “I figured I was earmarked for watching Votto,” she said as we sipped
our fruity morning wine. “Every other person in the family is involved somewhere, and I know your father doesn’t want me to stay put here at the farm. Just in case. Of course I’ll evacuate and I’ll take Votto with me.”

  “Will you flee up into the mountains, then? Or maybe go into the forest in Zur?”

  Her only other real option was to hide with the Velka, and I knew how opposed she’d be to that choice.

  “No.” She gave a long sigh, using the time to choose her words. “Your grandmother and I have had several, uh, conversations recently. She convinced me I serve my family’s interests best if I take shelter with the Velka. She won’t be in the forest. Believe it or not, she’s part of one of these little resistance groups, too. Taking on the Mongols at her age! But, she’s right; if I stay with the Velka, she and Ryalgar can ensure Votto and I have all we need. Indefinitely. For Votto’s sake, I’ve accepted Aliz’s offer.”

  I was impressed, and I didn’t want to upset the apple cart by adding one more complication. But I had to.

  “Mom, I have a favor to ask. I know it’s big, but it will help me and Votto, and it may even help you.”

  “I know.”

  She put her two hands over mine in the exact way Janx had when we talked about this. The coincidence was so strange I almost withdrew my hands in surprise. I was glad I didn’t.

  “You want me to bring his daughter with me, don’t you?”

  I suppose it wasn’t hard to figure out I’d ask this. “Do you mind?”

  “To be honest, yes. I’d rather not have responsibility for a child who’s not my kin.” She swallowed hard after she said it. “But, I recognize the little girl may be your stepchild someday, and then she’ll be my kin too. I wouldn’t complicate your life by saying no.”

  I would’ve liked to have stayed a second night at the farm, but Ryalgar had sent word days ago that she wanted to spend the night of Sashi with me. I think she viewed it as a sisterly duty, to provide me with comfort in the absence of my husband. I wondered if she realized how many holidays I’d spent alone since my marriage? I was pretty sure she hadn’t been paying attention.

  Maybe, with the invasion looming only an eighth away, she felt sentimental.

  She arrived before sunset and played with Votto; the last time they’d been together he’d been too little. I watched her bounce him on her knee, and my feelings softened. She wanted to be a good aunt.

  Then, we kept drinking after I put him to bed.

  I mentioned Hana, trying to make it clear the woman could only be trusted so far, under the best of circumstances.

  “Did you know Hana has connections to Nevik’s wife?” I asked after we opened the second jug.

  “So she knows about my affair with Nevik? So what. Plenty in the Velka do.” I remember her looking at me and asking “What is it you think she can do to hurt me?”

  I’m not sure what I told her but by the time we opened the third jug, I may have gone on a bit about Hana trying to fill the wife with ideas about not putting up with things the way they were. Whatever I said, I must have crossed some line. Ryalgar finally responded by standing up on the bed and screaming.

  “I! Do! Not! Need! This! Scump! Right! Now!” she yelled.

  That struck me as terribly funny and once I stopped laughing I crawled up on the table and screamed back. “Let’s wait and see who ends up dead before we worry about this goat scump.” The liquor did the yelling.

  And the liquor answered when she raised her goblet and yelled “Pruck yes. Here’s to seeing who lives through this varmin pile of scump!”

  I think we went on like that for a while as we started in on a fourth jug. I’m pretty sure some crying got mixed in with all the laughing and cussing, but I don’t remember for sure. By the next morning, the memories were all a little fuzzy.

  Chapter 24. A Complicated Evening

  As we moved further into Sashi, people lowered their heads when they passed each other, walking faster and talking less. Schools and markets around the realm planned to close two anks before Kolada, to give everyone time for whatever they needed to do. When people did speak, they asked about each other’s plans for the safety of their elderly or their children. No one wanted to talk about the past; it made us all too sad. No one wanted to talk about the future; it made us all too scared.

  We had a plan. It would work. Or it wouldn’t.

  An ank before schools closed, Davor came to visit. He wanted to make sure I had an adequate safety plan in place for Votto.

  “I need to know my little man here will be cared for.”

  He held Votto out at arm's length, turning the little boy sideways to the left, then to the right. Votto giggled like he was having the time of his life. I wished he would fuss instead. I didn’t think Davor had invested enough time in him to be getting such a warm response, but the child thought otherwise.

  I turned my attention to making one of the homemade meals I knew Davor enjoyed. He’d brought a freshly killed chicken with him, and I went outside to handle the cleaning. Being a farm girl, I’d killed and cleaned plenty of animals over the years. Most of my family handled this chore without much thought, but not me. I always felt sorry for the chicken.

  I knew better than to let it keep me from doing my job, though.

  Tonight, my distaste for the task faded. I hadn’t had meat in a while and I craved it, maybe because of the milk I still made. I knew I had only an ank left to get Votto thoroughly weaned, and I’d waited too long for it to be anything but unpleasant for us both.

  Davor watched with appreciation as I prepared the food. We both looked forward to the feast.

  “Yesterday, I broke things off with the lady in Pilk I told you about.” He said it as I salted the chicken, as if it was unimportant. “She’s not for me, after all. Too, I don’t know, conniving. I don’t much care for scheming women.”

  Well, this one hadn’t lasted long.

  “Were you two living together?” I worked at keeping my voice as light as his.

  “No. She thought too many would disapprove, since you and I, you know, hadn’t made our split official. She didn’t want to be the subject of unpleasant gossip.”

  When Hana crafted her threats to me, she’d relied heavily on this lady’s influence. It looked like she hadn’t taken Davor’s short attention span into account.

  “So what’s the new one like?”

  He gave me a surprised look. “There isn’t a new one.”

  That amazed me. I thought there always was a new one.

  “I’m giving up on women for a while. No offense to your gender. You have plenty of worthy talents.” He pointed to the chicken, ready to go into the pot of water. “I just seem to have the worst luck finding the woman who’s right for me. I don’t know why.”

  I couldn’t think of a single wise response.

  “Do you want to know why I broke up with Ketevan?”

  “Sure.”

  “I broke up with her because she said unflattering things about you.”

  Of all the answers in the world, I didn’t expect that one.

  “Her accusations are true, or at least I think they are, but I didn’t like the way she handled it.” He gave me a long, inquisitive look. “I argued with her at first, but eventually I had to admit the obvious. You’re one of those luskies who are part of Ryalgar’s plans, aren’t you?”

  The tips of my fingers felt as if they’d been dipped in a cold mountain stream. I tried to remain calm.

  “I am, but I didn’t know it when I met you, and I didn’t believe I was one until after we split.”

  He nodded as if he’d concluded the same thing.

  “I was pretty sure you hadn’t led me on. You know, there aren’t many women around with hair as red as yours. You should have worn a hood over your whole head at those practices.”

  “I thought about it, but it would have made it hard for anyone to hear me. Those little masks around the eyes are bad enough. Besides, people would know the hood hid something
and that would just make them more curious.”

  “Well, before this is over everyone in Ilari will know what you can do. You accept that?”

  “I do.” I realized its truth as I said it. “After this is over either we’re too dead to care, or a little gratitude for saving people ought to buy me some understanding.”

  “I hope you’re right. Any soldier will tell you people have varmin-short memories when it comes to feeling grateful about being saved. It’d be nice if this was an exception.”

  “So why exactly did you leave what’s her name …”

  “Ketevan …”

  “Why did you leave Ketevan for pointing out the truth to you?”

  He chuckled. He liked my question.

  “I didn’t. I left her for trying to convince me to take Votto away from you. She tried to tell me your talents would make you an unfit mother, which was ridiculous. Near as I can see, you’re about as fit a mother as they make.”

  So. Hana had tried to make good on her threats after all! Why? Had I made her that angry when I wouldn’t take the bait about Ryalgar? Whatever her reasoning, she hadn’t taken into account Davor’s cantankerous personality, either.

  It was my turn to chuckle.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “The Velka woman running the part of the plan involving the luskies? She tried to coerce me by threatening to tell you what I was. She said you’d take Votto away from me if you knew. I was so scared.”

  “Are you talking about Hana?”

  “You know her?”

  “Heli, everyone in Pilk knows her. Worst busybody in the entire nichna, until she became the Velka’s problem. Letting her join was the nicest thing those forest ladies ever did for Pilk.”

  We looked at each other and, for once, words weren’t needed. We agreed on something.