She's the One Who Cares Too Much

by S. R. Cronin

  Once the animals and I began to follow the river, though, I shoved my anger aside just as I had my remorse. I needed to focus on keeping us safe as we picked our way along the rocky river’s edge and on keeping us hidden from any Edsers near the river. At our slow pace, I’d never get to the Velka before dark. Where should I stop for the night?

  I could tell I’d reached the border between Eds and Zur when the trees went from sparse to plentiful. I needed to turn right and follow the forest's edge. I noted how Zur’s border differed from that of the open forest. The Zurians lacked the Velka’s talents with plants, and couldn’t reinforce their border with the thick shrubbery and thorny vines the Velka used to discourage intruders. Instead, the Zurians had erected a stone wall to establish the boundary between them and Eds. Good again. I could ride outside of the wall until dusk and then camp with the wall at my back. Tomorrow I’d know I’d reached the open forest when the wall ended and the vines began.

  So. All you had to do to avoid being forced into becoming a monster was to act like one.

  I pushed the uncomfortable thought out of my head as I made camp. I’d moved beyond shock, and I’d run out of anger, at least for now. Sadness threatened to engulf me as I built a small fire, but I didn’t want to reflect on my deeds alone in the dark. I turned to the animals, thankful for their company, and I talked to Nutmeg all evening to keep my thoughts from wandering back into the darkest corners of my mind.

  The night turned cold, but eventually I slept and at least no winter storm blew in.

  Chapter 28. Living With It

  I awoke in a panic when I saw the sun high in the sky. Exhaustion had overcome my urgency to get to Votto. What day was it? I hoped I’d counted right and Kolada was the day after tomorrow.

  I took care of my small personal needs, handed out a bit of the food Hana had brought for the animals, and smothered the fleeting thought of how, for all her faults, Hana had always been kind to four-legged creatures. This was no time to eulogize her. She’d put me in this predicament.

  I hadn’t gone far before the stone wall of Zur crumbled into disarray and the plants along the forest’s edge took a turn for the nasty. I’d made it to the overgrown home of the Velka. Now I just had to find the entrance hidden in this corner.

  It didn’t take long, given my knowledge of what I sought. I could manage to get through, but then what? How did one make their way through this forest? I wish I’d paid more attention when Ryalgar learned to navigate the twisted and poorly marked paths.

  One sad fact was certain. I couldn’t possibly bring my beloved Nutmeg in with me.

  I wrapped my arms around her neck and held on tight. I hadn’t given this sad goodbye much thought, yet I’d probably never see her again. Worse yet, would she find the food and water she needed to survive in the winter? Would she manage not to freeze to death?

  The tears I’d held back for days finally came and, when they did, they didn’t just flow for Nutmeg. They flowed for me, for being forced into becoming something I never wished to be. They flowed for Janx, facing death somewhere out there as he captured Mongols, and for Ryalgar and Grandma, and my father and his road crew and my mother hiding in the forest and my baby in danger and all my sisters out there doing I-wasn’t-sure-what. I even cried for Davor, my flawed prince likely to die in a battle that few armies won. The only one I didn’t cry for was Hana. I decided I wouldn’t waste tears on her.

  I probably didn’t stand there sobbing for all that long, but it felt like I did. For the first time I could remember, I let myself cry till I was done. What a relief. Maybe I’d cry less now that suppressed old tears didn’t struggle to escape.

  I kissed Nutmeg on her neck, then patted her on her flank to urge her to go. I turned to enter the forest. I could do this. I’d somehow find my way.

  I consolidated the most necessary gear onto one donkey and mounted the other. My feet ached from the unaccustomed amount of walking I’d done, and I couldn’t let blisters or even fatigue slow me down. As I sat wondering what direction to go, the donkey tired of waiting for me to decide and started to pick her way along a path.

  Didn’t these creatures spend their lives traveling these unkempt trails? Of course they did. This animal knew where she was going. Even if it wasn’t to the main lodge, we’d end up with someone somewhere who could direct me there. I didn’t have to know my way around at all.

  The donkey stopped a while later in a part of the forest at least as overgrown as where I’d started. I saw no cottages. Yet, the donkey stood firm, waiting for me to dismount. She knew we’d arrived. Stupid varmin thing. I’d thought she was taking me somewhere worth going.

  “Hello!” I shouted into the trees. “Anybody around?”

  Silence.

  “Please! Come out if you’re here!”

  I caught a motion out of the corner of my eye and turned. A good-sized rock, at least as big as my fist, hung in the air inches from my eye. I’m sure my mouth dropped open.

  “Well, that was a close call, girlie, wasn’t it?” A woman as ancient as any I’d seen stepped out from between the trees cackling with amusement. “Scump. I thought you was another one of those oomrushers come to talk me into helping you out with your cause. You people just keep coming.”

  “I’m no oomrusher.”

  “I got that, and just in time before that rock hit you in the face, too. Heli, I already hit another one of you yesterday when she come to give me a message.”

  She seemed far more amused than apologetic. Then she looked at my donkey.

  “Goose Feather. You came back. I knew you would.”

  “She’s yours?”

  “She’s no one's.” The old woman cackled again. “Donkeys don’t belong to no one in here. But she takes me places more than the others. Here.” The woman pulled a carrot out of her pocket and offered it to Goose Feather, who chomped it down in appreciation. “You’re related to that dark-haired one who’s in charge of this invasion, aren’t you? I see a resemblance.”

  She had to be talking about Ryalgar. “No one’s ever said we look alike. But yeah, she’s my sister. Look, I’m in a hurry to get to the big lodge. My son is there, and I think he’s in danger. Can you help me?”

  “I can but I won’t. I don’t ever go near there.”

  When she saw the expression on my face, she cackled again. “It’s okay, sweetie. You don’t need me. Goose Feather’s pal here spends most of his time at the main lodge. Get on him, he’ll take you straight over there.”

  I thought my situation was too desperate to be trusted to the whims of a donkey, but I didn’t have a better plan.

  “Besides,” she said “I just got word yesterday about where your sister needs me. That girl is out there guarding the Eds entrance into Ilari!”

  “Yeah. I heard.”

  “I planned to stay out of this nonsense, but seeing how you brought Goose Feather back to me, I think I’ll ride her up along the Zurian forest line and see if I can help.”

  It seemed to me this tiny elderly woman shouldn’t be anywhere near an invading army.

  “With all respect, perhaps it’s too dangerous to head up that way right now.”

  She cackled so hard she started to cough.

  “With all respect back, girlie, I’m pretty varmin good with rocks. I’ll be fine.”

  I looked overhead. It was impossible to judge the time of day this deep in the forest.

  “Will I make it to the main lodge before dark?”

  “Well before.”

  Despite what she said, the ride took forever. I left behind all but a jug of water, a biscuit, and an extra blanket so I wasn’t prepared to spend another night alone. I wondered if this donkey was less adept at pathfinding than the other. Then, I saw the clearing ahead.

  My mother. My mother sat on the huge porch in front of the main lodge holding Votto on her lap. Chessa sat next to her. I screamed when I saw them. Mom jumped up, Chessa screamed back, and Votto reached his little arms out in my direction. A
few other women looked up from their chairs while others came out the front door to check out the commotion.

  I ran to mom and grabbed Votto and held him tight.

  “Coral! What are you doing here? I thought you were …”

  “I am, Mom, I am. But, uh, I bring word. Important word. For the Velka. Conclave. I have to speak with them now.”

  A woman with soft blonde hair and a pleasant face approached us. I guessed she was Natia.

  “Coral? What a surprise. I represent the Conclave now as many of our leaders have bravely positioned themselves around the realm. What can I do for you?”

  “Gather the rest of the conclave. All who are here. I must deliver this message to every member of the conclave at once.”

  “I hardly think that’s necessary. Those who remain are the more elderly in our group who shouldn’t be rushed. Others are far from the lodge and can’t be summoned quickly. Tell me what it is you have to say, and I’ll call them if I think it’s required.”

  “I can’t do that. It has to be all of you.” I made this up as I went, but now that I stood on the front porch of the Velka surrounded by people, insisting on a large audience seemed best.

  “I’m part of the Conclave, and I’m right here,” a woman behind me said.

  “And Boyanne is in the dining room,” said another. “She’s part of the Conclave. I’ll go get her.”

  Natia didn’t look pleased. “Very well. Gather the others who are close by, and we’ll meet inside. In private.”

  The look she gave me could best be described as a glare. I ignored it, focusing instead on what I would say when I got the audience I’d asked for.

  Votto cried when I gave him back to Mom, and Chessa didn’t want to let go of my hand, but I had to go.

  Once I was in a room with five other women, I figured I had their full attention for a few minutes. I didn’t waste time.

  “Hana is dead.” There were several gasps. “She took me along on a special mission to Eds and she fell while we were scouting along the cliffs.” If more explanation was needed, it didn’t have to be given now. I saw the clouds gather in Natia’s eyes. She didn’t know how lucky she was. I intended to give her a way out of this if she wanted it.

  “Hana made some rather unbelievable claims before her death,” I said. “She wished for me to do things, as a luski, which I found questionable. So to persuade me she told me she’d have Natia see to the death of my child if I didn’t comply.”

  The other four women looked at Natia and me in confusion.

  “I …” Natia began but I cut her off.

  “I didn’t believe her. I mean, how could she even get word to you? And you’d never do such a thing, of course. It was an idle threat, desperately made, for reasons I’m sure Hana considered to be justified. Now that she’s gone, I forgive her.”

  It was quite the act, I knew, but I thought Natia could be extremely dangerous if cornered. I wanted her to have an exit.

  “I suppose,” she said, “that Hana could have said unwise things to you because she thought she had to, though I can hardly imagine her saying such a thing as that.”

  The other women exchanged looks.

  “I am worried though. Hana could have another ally,” I said. “Perhaps someone in the Velka she persuaded to harm Votto if, well, things didn’t go as she wished.” I gave Natia a pointed look. “I think she may have wanted her threat to have some teeth.” I paused, hoping my worries would seem reasonable. “I wish to leave, to go do my part as a luski to help save our realm. But I’ll only go if you promise to station at least two Velka at all times to stand guard over my mother and my child while I’m gone.”

  “Of course we will. I’ll take a shift myself,” Natia said.

  “No.” I barked it out, and the vehemence in my voice caught the ear of more than one woman in the room.

  “Don’t be ridiculous, Natia,” one of them said. “You’re part of what was used to scare this poor young mother. I think it’d be best if you recused yourself over to the Southeast lodge for now. You can run things from there.”

  “There’s no way I’m leaving.”

  The women exchanged a glance. “The vote is four to one. Given these accusations, you need to leave here for everyone’s sake, including your own. We can convene the rest of the Conclave if we have to.”

  “Go peacefully,” another said. “You’re still in good standing. Don’t jeopardize that.”

  I saw the light dawn on Natia’s face. These women knew how devoted she’d been to Hana, and how desperately Hana had wanted to succeed Aliz. They weren’t sure of Natia’s role, no matter what I said. They were giving her some room, but they had concerns. Good.

  “I’ll help you pack,” one of the women said as she took Natia by the arm and led her out of the room.

  As soon as the door closed, the other three turned to me.

  “What exactly did Hana wish for you to do?” one asked pleasantly.

  Heli. I’d stick to all the truth I could.

  “She wanted me to ensure the Edsers would obey her orders without question.”

  “These were the Edsers left in place to protect Ryalgar and Aliz?”

  “They were.”

  The women looked at each other.

  “How did Hana manage to fall off a cliff? She’s hardly a clumsy woman.”

  “She isn’t. But she showed off her boldness by walking along the cliff's edge.”

  “I see. Did you push her?”

  “I didn’t touch her.”

  The woman smiled. “That’s something, I suppose. Well then, whatever you did will be between you and your conscience. I hope you can live with it.”

  “I hope I can too.”

  It grew dark, and the women suggested I spend the night. I took them up on it, eating a glorious meal of hot food as I told my mother much of what had happened since we parted. I let Chessa sit on my lap that evening and the rest of the time I held Votto so tight he squirmed to be set free.

  I rose after a decent night’s sleep in a bed and by mid-morning, I’d readied myself to leave. The Conclave member named Boyanne offered to escort me to where one exited the forest into Vinx’s main market.

  “The luskies and singers have gathered near there,” she said. “You can walk to the place.”

  I stepped out of the forest to see a clear noon-time sky above and the most unexpected sight in the world in front of me.

  Nutmeg, not a hundred paces away, whinnied with delight.

  “What are you doing here?” I yelled as she trotted towards me.

  “Is this where she often saw you go into the forest?” Boyanne asked.

  “Well yes, a few times but …”

  “Smart horse. She figured it was where you’d come out as well.”

  As I hugged my mare, I asked Boyanne “It is the day before Kolada, right?”

  “Right.”

  She looked away and I followed her gaze. A tall flagpole now stood near the market, and a red square flag flew from the top.

  “They’ve been sighted,” she said. “That flag means the horde comes from the east and will be here soon.”

  My whole body shuddered. It was happening.

  I meant to go join the luskies right away, I really did, but once Boyanne left me I recoiled at the prospect of discussing Hana’s death with a group that would be wildly curious about the event. And with a group that would undoubtedly contain my disloyal ex-friend Ewalina.

  I considered other options. Nutmeg’s presence gave me the freedom to ride out to the cliffs of Vinx and see the oncoming horde. Why not? A thousand horsemen galloping towards us had to be a sight to behold.

  Then maybe I could face the others.

  There was a hint of fog on the horizon as I left, but it grew as I rode, rising off of the Southeast Lake and up out of the adjoining marsh. I remembered a group within the Velka created this fog to slow the Mongols. They did their job well. Even upon Vinx’s high plain, visibility became poor. I needed to tur
n back.

  Then I saw the house I’d heard about. It had been built for a local man who spoke Mongolian and had agreed to train the farmers taking captives. He’d vacated it now so it could be used as a watchtower.

  A dark-skinned woman with unusually long dark hair rode out to meet me.

  “You’re Coral, Celestine’s sister?”

  She knew of me?

  “I’m a friend of Celestine’s. I run this lookout. Are you trying to find the luskies? You’ve passed them. I can take you back.”

  “No, I thought I had time to peek at the invaders first. Before it all happened.”

  “You do.” Her warm smile reassured me. “You can’t see anything with this fog, but ride with me. I’ve been coming out all day to check on them.”

  She turned her horse towards the edge of the cliffs, motioning for me to follow. An eerie feeling overcame me, and I hesitated. Was this some apparition, sent from the netherworld by Hana to seek her revenge?

  “Come on. It’s safe.”

  Of course it was safe. Was I going to be afraid of cliffs for the rest of my life? No. I wasn’t. I nudged Nutmeg towards the woman.

  “It doesn’t look like we’ll be able to see anything,” I said as we rode.

  “We won’t. But they can’t see us either. And we can listen.”

  As we rode north along the cliff's edge I heard horses in the distance. Lots of horses.

  She lowered her voice. “Early this morning they came galloping in, looking for their tribute. We heard them come to a halt once they hit the fog and a lot more marsh than they remembered. They’ve spent much of the day moving slowly, puzzled. You can hear it in their voices.”

  Sound carried well out on these plains. She was right, I could hear faint shouting between men. The words made no sense, but they spoke in tones of anger and confusion.