Lost & Found

by J. Holland

  The next week passed smoothly, belying the fact that the two girls were essentially strangers to each other. Nerissa had learned more from a week living with Lorelei than she had been able to glean about humans from years of reading and research. Everything was so much more vivid in the real world, and she was not ashamed to admit that she had spent full hours when Lorelei had been gone at work snooping around her apartment. She had pulled appliances out of kitchen cupboards and demanded Lorelei demonstrate how they worked when she returned home. She learned to work the television, DVD player, and sound system and lost a whole day exploring all the titles available on Netflix. Lorelei had continued Nerissa's education about movies and television shows, showing her classics she insisted had been seen by every human on the planet. They curled up together at night after they both got off work and watched Star Trek, the three original Star Wars films, and Firefly. When Nerissa complained about the glaring lack of oceans in space, Lorelei introduced her to Waterworld, Jaws, and Ponyo. Ponyo lead the two of them to marathon some Studio Ghibli films and then The Last Unicorn. Lorelei had told her that she was saving the Harry Potter movies until the weekend, when they could watch all eight in a row, which was apparently the only correct way to watch them.

  Lorelei had discovered a box of old clothes in her closet, which she sheepishly explained she was holding onto in case she ever lost weight. Nerissa had to roll up the hems on all of the pants, but the shirts fit her rather well and so she found herself with a complete wardrobe for the first time in her life. She still wore her sweaters for warmth and comfort, but she loved being able to choose what to wear. They continued to share a bed at night, Nerissa snuggling close for warmth. She missed her family terribly, but having someone to sleep with and wake up beside helped to ease some of her grief. It wasn't like it was a hardship. She knew Lorelei felt self-conscious about her weight, but Nerissa thought she was one of the most beautiful people she had ever met. Better yet, she was kind.

  Most days, after Lorelei left for work, Nerissa would leave too and walk the streets of the town. She wasn't sure what she was searching for, but she thought she might have some sense of her seal skin, some awareness of when it was close by. She walked for hours, trying to feel a tug in one direction or another, cursing herself for not listening more closely to her mother's cautionary tales and her grandmother's stories. Maybe then she would be able to make more progress. She was trying hard not to think about what would happen if her skin wasn't in Bar Harbor at all, if an early tourist had found it and taken it all the way across the country. She shuddered at the thought, before turning and heading back toward Lorelei's apartment.

  Nerissa continued working at the library during the week and had earned her share of sly smiles and insinuations from the general public. In a town the size of Bar Harbor, news traveled fast, and it hadn't taken long until all the town busybodies knew that The Town Lesbian and The Mysterious Stranger were shacking up. Greta had cornered her on Wednesday, practically cooing with excitement.

  "You've been holding out on me, sweetie! You didn't tell me you were seeing someone," she scolded.

  "I'm not, exactly. Lorelei is just..." Greta didn't give her a chance to continue.

  "And here I was trying to set you up with my granddaughter. You sure know how to keep your secrets, I'll give you that, Nerissa. Old Pauline about had a heart attack. You know how she likes to think she knows everything. Not a whisper about the two of you though, and suddenly you're living together. She thought maybe you were just friends, but I told her that you were both into girls and that was that. You make such a cute couple. Well, now, don't just stand there! We've got a busy schedule today!"

  She whirled off, leaving Nerissa blinking after her. She knew it didn't matter whether or not she set the record straight. Or ace, as the case may be. Greta would go on believing what she wanted to believe and so would the rest of the gossips in town. She got her work done early that day, eager to slip out once she was finished and meet Lorelei at the cafe. She walked through the door at quarter to five and a young woman wearing purple lipstick looked up from her phone.

  Marie. Her name is Marie, Nerissa reminded herself.

  As soon as Marie realized who was there, she tossed her phone on the counter and grinned.

  "Oh, Lorelei! Your girlfriend's here!"

  Lorelei hurried out from the back, smacking her employee on the back of the head as she approached the counter. Her cheeks were red, though Nerissa couldn't tell if it was from embarrassment or from the heat of the ovens.

  "What are you still doing here? Your shift ended three hours ago. Go home, you menace."

  Marie did not seem intimidated. "I came back. I needed to see your new girl toy for myself."

  "I told you, more than once, that we are not together. It's complicated."

  "Right. Complicated. I helped you move into that apartment, and I happen to know for a fact that you only have one bedroom. And I have to say, the both of you look entirely too rested for one of you to be sleeping on the couch."

  "We aren't having sex," Nerissa cut in. Marie looked at her in surprise, having almost forgotten about her while caught up in teasing her boss. "I'm asexual."

  "Cool."

  Nerissa blinked. "You know what that means?"

  "Sure," Marie shrugged. "One of my boyfriends is asexual."

  "One of your boyfriends?"

  "Yeah. I'm poly. I have two boyfriends. Well, we are all dating each other. Will is ace and Todd is bi and it all works out quite nicely."

  Lorelei and Nerissa both stared at her as she smiled at their shock.

  "Speaking of my boyfriends, I've got to get going. They're waiting." She shot them a wink and sauntered out the door.

  Nerissa and Lorelei made eye contact and the two of them burst into giggles.

  "Well," said Lorelei, "At least she keeps things interesting."

  "Tell me about it. Greta wanted to set me up with her granddaughter after I let it slip that I wasn't really into boys. At least now that she thinks we are together, she has given up on that particular mission."

  "The one down in Portland? You dodged a bullet. Greta set me up with her shortly after I came back to town and well, I don't want to be mean. Don't get me wrong. I'm sure she's very nice. But she is studying to be a geologist at the university, and I had to sit through an hour lecture at dinner about the difference between basalt and dolerite. Spoiler alert: there is very little difference."

  The two burst into giggles again, leaning over the counter towards each other. The bell on the door rang and an older gentleman walked in. He took in the two girls so close together and then backed out of the doorway with a scandalized expression on his face. Lorelei couldn't stop laughing.

  "Did you see his face? Now it will be all over town that we were making out over the counter."

  Nerissa looked worried. "Will that hurt your business?"

  "Nah. Everyone knew I was a lesbian when I started the place, and it doesn't seem to have mattered, even in a small town like this. I came out in high school, so it's just always been a part of who I am to these people. It doesn't upset you, though, does it? I mean, I'm used to it, but if you want me to put out an ad in the paper explaining that we are just friends, I will. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable with people sexualizing our relationship."

  "I'm not upset. Although, I am very grateful that you are so considerate about it. Does it make you uncomfortable? That we aren't having sex? Even though that's what people think?"

  Lorelei looked at Nerissa, her laughter suddenly fading away. "Not at all. I'm glad to be your friend, and I'm thankful for every moment we spend together. I wouldn't throw that away for anything, not even sex."

  Nerissa smiled and slipped back behind the counter to fix herself a coffee. Later, when they were walking home together, Nerissa reached out her hand and laced their fingers together.

  *~*~*

  By the time Friday night rolled around, both girls were ready to let off some steam an
d escape the prying eyes of the public. Lorelei knew Nerissa was handling their newfound notoriety much better than she was herself. For one thing, Nerissa wasn't attracted to Lorelei, so having to explain over and over that they were not actually together just rolled off her perfect back. For Lorelei, it was torture to choke down her feelings every day and pretend that they were just friends. Given Nerissa's lack of a concept of personal space, it was even harder to convince her treacherous body that nothing was going to happen between them.

  She needed a drink. They both needed a drink. Nerissa had told her earlier in the week that she had never had alcohol, and Lorelei had added that to her mental list of things to teach her about. On her way home from work, she swung by the store and bought a couple of bottles of wine and a carton of ice cream. The television remained off for the night, and they talked about their week as they sampled the wine. Nerissa wrinkled her nose at the dryness of the white, but the berry flavor of the red made her happy. Lorelei took the bottle of white for herself and before she knew it, they had polished off both bottles and most of the ice cream. They started giggling together over a woman who had come into the bakery that day. She had looked like she had swallowed a lemon when she saw Lorelei behind the counter, but had decided to act as if she wasn't oozing small-town homophobic prejudice from her pores. She ordered her coffee and scone quickly, then gingerly placed her change on the counter so there was no chance they could brush hands. Lorelei had been hurt, but it was nothing that hadn't happened before. Nerissa, on the other hand, had watched it happen with narrowed eyes, before a devious smile crossed her face. She had sidled up next to the other woman and waited until she had taken her first sip of coffee before reaching over the counter and running her fingers through Lorelei's hair, cooing "Hello, sweetie," and leaning into her space. Behind her she heard a squeak and turned to see that the woman had spilled her coffee on herself in horror. She had dashed out of the bakery, leaving Lorelei and Nerissa to collapse into giggles.

  "Did you see her face?" Nerissa repeated once again, nearly empty wine glass tipping dangerously in her hands.

  "I knew introducing you to Doctor Who was a good idea." She paused. "I might be a bad influence on you."

  "You might be the best influence on me!"

  They got their giggles under control, and Nerissa polished off the last of the wine, before noticing a few scoops of ice cream left in the bottom of the carton.

  "I'm so full. Do you want the rest of this?"

  "No more! No more ice cream for me ever," Lorelei bemoaned. "I'm obese." She felt the giggly drunk phase shifting to the morose drunk phase and hoped she wouldn't embarrass herself too badly.

  "You are not obese! You aren't even close."

  "According to the Body Mass Index I am totally obese. And disgusting."

  "I'm not sure what the Body Mass Index is, but it's wrong. And I highly doubt it called you disgusting."

  Lorelei sighed and grabbed onto her gut, as if that explained everything. Nerissa just stared at her before crawling to the other end of the couch. Before Lorelei knew it, Nerissa was straddling her lap, her face so close that Lorelei could smell the wine on her breath. She reached out and grabbed Lorelei's jaw with an intense look in her eyes.

  "You are not disgusting. You're lovely. And strong. And healthy." Lorelei tried to shake her head in disagreement, but Nerissa's fingers were surprisingly strong.

  "You are. I've seen you unload deliveries at the bakery. You can lift those fifty pound sacks of sugar and flour like they are nothing. You could probably lift me without breaking a sweat. You walk to work, to the store, to the library, and you never get winded or have to stop for a break. I've watched you do enough of those ridiculous yoga poses to know that you are extremely flexible. So screw the Body Mass Index."

  Lorelei waited until Nerissa was done with her rant, then sighed. "I know that you aren't totally caught up on pop culture, despite my best efforts, but healthy or not I am totally not socially acceptable. No one wants to date a whale." She was drunk and maudlin and going to wallow in self-pity damn it, whether Nerissa approved or not.

  Nerissa was still planted firmly on her lap and if anything her face had gotten even closer to Lorelei's.

  "Will you listen to me?" She took Lorelei's huff as agreement. "I said that I think you're lovely. You have gorgeous hair the color of sand and sunshine and eyes like a stormy sea. You may not like your body, but I think it's warm and soft and perfect for cuddling up to at night. You have gentle hands and a kind heart and a wonderful smile."

  Lorelei felt like the breath had been knocked out of her. "You're drunk," she accused. "No more wine for you."

  "I'm not drunk. I have a very fast metabolism."

  "Nerissa, it's very kind of you to say those things," Lorelei started.

  "I'm not being kind," she said, rolling her eyes.

  Before Lorelei knew what was happening, Nerissa had their lips pressed close together. She was frozen in place, but Nerissa was not, sliding their lips against each other, then taking Lorelei's bottom lip between her teeth, nipping lightly as if for emphasis. Their eyes were both open wide, Lorelei's in shock while Nerissa's were carefully observing the response to her actions as their noses brushed against each other.

  Lorelei blinked once, and then moved. She slid her fingers into Nerissa's hair and took control of the kiss, her eyes sliding shut on a moan. Her tongue darted out, tracing Nerissa's lips before she gasped and Lorelei's tongue slipped inside her mouth. She could taste the tartness of the wine and the sweetness of the ice cream and somehow underneath it all a salty tang that reminded her of the sea. She shivered as one of Nerissa's arms wrapped around her shoulder pulling her closer, while her other hand still gripped Lorelei's jaw. She lost herself in Nerissa, in the softness of her hair and the taste of her mouth and the knowledge that she was actually allowed to do this. That Nerissa had started it.

  She reluctantly pulled back just a little, her eyes opening to find Nerissa's eyes were still watching her hungrily.

  "Is this okay?" she breathed.

  "Yes."

  That was answer enough for Lorelei and the two of them met in the middle, their lips brushing once more as hands began to explore. Nerissa's hands were everywhere, brushing her cheek, gripping her hair, stroking down her arms. She seemed to be trying to memorize Lorelei by touch alone, and Lorelei couldn't help but run her own hands gently over Nerissa's body in turn, finding a ticklish spot beneath her ribs and learning that a brush of her fingers against the side of Nerissa's neck led to a delicious sounding moan and a full body shiver. She was lost in the intimacy of the moment, knowing that they were kissing just to kiss and that nothing more would come of it. At least that night.

  An hour later found the two cuddled up in Lorelei's big bed, teeth freshly brushed and wearing their most comfortable pajamas. Lorelei absently ran her hand up and down Nerissa's back as Nerissa tucked her face into the crook of Lorelei's neck, before reluctantly raising her head so she could look into Lorelei's eyes.

  "Is this okay? I mean, will it be okay?"

  "Why wouldn't it be?" Lorelei wondered.

  "I'm still asexual. There is a difference between finding you aesthetically appealing and being romantically attracted to you, and wanting to have sex with you. If I never want to go any further than this, would that be okay? I don't want you to feel like I'm leading you on."

  "I understand. I mean, I'm not asexual, obviously, so I don't totally understand, but I do know about the different kinds of attraction. I wasn't expecting to have sex with you tonight. Or ever if that isn't what you want."

  "But eventually, you will want to have sex right? What happens then? I'd be willing to try, if you wanted me to."

  "I don't want you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. If we get to that stage and you want to try, then I am not going to say no, but it has to be because you want it, not because you think that I want it. Understand?"

  "Thank you."

  They settled dow
n in silence once more, enjoying the closeness of lying together in the dark beneath the covers. Just as Lorelei was drifting off to sleep, Nerissa spoke again.

  "You are too good to me. Why are you so good to me?"

  "It's not exactly a hardship," Lorelei mumbled.

  "You don't even know me. Not really. You don't know the first thing about me but you took me in and you take care of me and you don't care that I am a freak and..." She was cut off by Lorelei's lips against hers.

  "I know you. I don't need a full background check and every little detail of your past to know who you are on the inside. You are kind and curious and sweet and absolutely beautiful from the inside out. And I love you."

  "You do? Really?" Nerissa said with wonder.

  "Really."

  "Oh." Lorelei laughed at her response and Nerissa couldn't help but blush.

  "I love you too."

  *~*~*

  Lorelei managed to sneak out of bed the next morning without waking Nerissa and headed off to work with a smile on her face. Today was their anniversary, technically, a week from the day that they had first met. She almost couldn't believe that it had only been a week. In some ways, it felt like Nerissa had been in her life for much longer. Sharing so much space and time probably had something to do with it. Not for the first time, Lorelei squashed down a lingering doubt that reminded her that she really didn't know much about Nerissa. Nerissa had said it herself the night before. She wouldn't let that bother her, though. Nerissa was special. It didn't matter what had happened in the past, she reminded herself. What mattered was now. And now, Lorelei was busy planning a surprise.