Daughter of Ninmah

by Lori Holmes

“I-” The girl floundered, opening and closing her fists in a tense motion, appearing very much like a naughty child who had been caught pulling heads off blossoms.

  Sefaan almost laughed. “You look as guilty as one sentenced to zykiel.”

  Nyriaana fell back a step as the fear contracted across her face. Sefaan regretted her choice of words instantly. The memory of her teacher’s recent punishment was still fresh in her mind.

  “Relax, child,” Sefaan said gently. “No one is going to punish you.”

  The girl made an effort to compose her features as she studied Sefaan’s own. The tension eased from her shoulders somewhat as she saw no anger upon Sefaan’s face.

  “I take from your flouting of the Elders’ wishes, that there was an important reason for being out in the forest alone, young one?”

  Nyriaana opened her mouth.

  Sefaan waved a hand. “No. Don’t speak. You do not have to tell me and I will tell no one of your secret excursions. Fear not. You obviously felt it was worth the risk! You took my advice.”

  The girl lifted her chin once in stiff acknowledgment.

  “Good. I told you to follow your heart and you did so. I came only to ask, why are you fighting it now?”

  Colour flushed back into her cheeks as anger finally freed Nyriaana’s tongue. “Because it is not right! Sefaan… please. The path I started down… it was wrong. It would not have ended well.” She was blinking rapidly and she looked away.

  Sefaan touched her arm to draw her attention back. “A path does not have to end well to be the right one, child. Just ask yourself this; could you truly turn from the path you speak of, now that you have embarked upon it? Even if you knew for certain it would end in despair?”

  The tears were threatening to spill. Sefaan could read her thoughts clearly. So many paths had ended in despair over this boy. Rebaa’s, Jaai’s… Sefaan felt her own sorrow for these sad but necessary losses as the warm wetness flowed down the girl’s cheeks. “Sefaan, I can’t.”

  “Not even for him?”

  Nyriaana was aghast. “H-him?”

  “His return seems quite impossible, does it not? But there he is. The Great Spirit works in mysterious ways.” Sefaan chuckled.

  “You know!” Nyriaana staggered. “You know Juaan is out there!”

  “Oh, come, girl. How do you think you have been getting by the sentries so easily? Your skills in concealment are improving but not by that much.”

  Sefaan recalled her own visit to the boy on the night Kyaati had stolen the infant Naaya. She had needed to see the girl’s secret for herself in the hopes that it would provide more clarity to the visions the Great Spirit whispered.

  The boy had been unconscious but the Great Spirit’s energy had swirled around him stronger than ever. Sefaan could not guess the reason for the Great Spirit’s need for this Forbidden boy but his importance was clear. As was the need for this girl’s continued involvement. She watched idly as Nyriaana raked her fingers through her hair, pacing back and forth. “I-I…”

  “Are you going back to him?” Sefaan did not give her time to adjust to her revelation.

  The girl fixed her with an incredulous stare. “No! I can’t!”

  “Why not?”

  “Because he is not Juaan anymore! The Woves have twisted his mind!” The last shreds of Nyriaana’s composure broke. “Juaan is dead.”

  Sefaan bit down on her sigh of impatience. “No he isn’t.” She jabbed a finger towards the outer forest. “Out there he sits. I wouldn’t have thought you could abandon him so easily, Nyriaana.”

  The girl’s temper flared hot inside the tree. “It’s not easy! He tried to kill me, Sefaan! He tricked me, he has never been anything but a Forbidden monster. By Ninmah, he shouldn’t even exist!”

  “You know as well as I that he is not a monster. He is of our kin. His heart is his mother’s.”

  “How can you know that?”

  Sefaan shook her head. “How can you not know it? Stop letting your hate blind you. Your mother saw it, why do you deny it?”

  Nyriaana ignored her. “And what about the Woves? They are searching for him and when they find him, you know as well as I do what will happen!”

  Sefaan was unmoved by her outburst. “Then you must reach him before they do.”

  “And what good would that do?”

  All the good in the world! “Did he not lead the Woves when they attacked? They followed him. He was in a position of power.”

  Nyriaana was pressing her hands to her temples. “Is that what this is about? You actually think he would help us?”

  Sefaan shrugged her aching shoulders. “That depends upon him, child. I cannot say for certain but I know you must continue to try. If anyone can reach him, it is you, Nyriaana. The love that boy bore for you was no lie; it was more powerful than the love for his own life. Such a bond was meant for something. Our fate sits in your hands. Are you still willing to give up? Are you going to let him die?”

  Nyri groaned. “I have had enough of this. I’m so tired. So tired, Sefaan. Fate can do without me, I want no more part of it.” She turned to leave.

  “Nyri, Nyri, Nyriaana.”

  Nyri froze mid-stride. “What did you say?”

  “You know what I said.”

  “How did you know about that?” The girl demanded furiously.

  “Nyriaana.” Sefaan said reprovingly. “You forget I am Kamaali. Surely you aren’t blinded by the lies Aardn spread about my failing sanity.” She tapped the mark on her forehead. “I still see everything.”

  Nyriaana pinched the bridge of her nose. “What are you trying to do to me, Sefaan?”

  “I am trying to get you to remember the truth in your own heart. You remember the boy. Did he ever give you any cause to believe that he was a monster?”

  Sefaan could see she wanted to rebel, wanted to lash out against the words, but she could not. “No,” she choked, “no he didn’t.”

  Her admittance was a vindication and Sefaan pressed her advantage, cutting mercilessly at the deepest parts of Nyriaana’s heart. “Would a monster have loved you, comforted you, sacrificed himself for you as he did?”

  “Sefaan, please…”

  “Answer me.”

  “No!” The girl burst out. “He would not.”

  “Then how can you condemn him as a monster?”

  “I…I,” Nyri sank to the floor. “I don’t know.” Her eyes were lost, Sefaan could feel her unravelling, crumbling under the weight of what fate had laid on her shoulders. She needed something to cling to. Reaching into her garments, Sefaan pulled forth a green pebble. It had caught her eye as she had travelled to the girl’s tree. For some reason it had seemed significant and Sefaan was never one to ignore an instinct. She rolled it across the floor to where the girl knelt. A frown creased the girl’s brow as she reached to pick it up. It glinted dimly in front of her face.

  A smile trembled across Nyriaana’s lips and the image that rose in her mind was so strong then that Sefaan saw it all as though the memory was her own. The sorrowful boy peeking out at her from behind his hands as her younger self presented him with a gift. Pretty rock, pretty, like your eyes…

  “Oh!” The gasp shuddered from Nyriaana’s throat as she wrapped her fingers around the pebble, holding it to her chest. Her anger and fear crumbled away. Silent tears slipped down her cheeks.

  “You loved him.”

  “Yes.” The girl’s voice cracked helplessly.

  “And no matter what he has done, you love him still.”

  Nyriaana took another shuddering breath. “Yes.”

  “And knowing that, knowing that there is the smallest possibility that he can change our fate, will you still turn from the path?”

  Nyriaana hung her head in final defeat. “No,” she whispered. “By Ninmah I cannot. Even though he does not remember, I remember, Sefaan. I am bound to him. I always have been.” She gave a little humourless laugh. ” And if there is the slightest chance he can save our peop
le, what choice does that leave me? It seems fate has decided that I must remain by his side to my doom.”

  “Then cast your doubt aside!” Sefaan placed her hands on either side of the girl’s face. “The Great Spirit has brought him back to you and He will lend you the strength to find your way, no matter where it may lead. The future is waiting. Do what you must and I will continue to help you for as long as I am able.”

  She dropped her withered hands and climbed out into the night, leaving Nyriaana standing very much alone inside her home.

  * * *

  26

  Protector

  “Are you hungry?” Nyriaana cocked her head.

  “No.” The long arms were folded.

  “Yes you are.”

  “No, I am not.”

  “Yes you are. I can tell.”

  “Can you.” The tone was dry as dead grass.

  “Yes. You’re grumpy. You’re always grumpy when you’re hungry.”

  “No, it’s because you’re such a menace. Go away and bother someone else for a while.”

  Nyri giggled. She knew he didn’t mean it. She crawled across the space of the tree and plopped cross-legged before him. Green eyes regarded her beneath the mop of dark brown hair.

  “What are you up to?” he asked suspiciously.

  He knew her too well. She smiled. “I wanna go and play.”

  “Well, go on then.” And leave me in peace, you little monster. She almost heard him think.

  Nyri pouted. “I want you to come, too. It’s no fun on my own.”

  “Nyri!” he protested.

  “Please.”

  “Go and play with a wolf. As you say, I’m grumpy. What do you want me for?”

  “Pleeeaaase!” Nyri pulled on his hand, bouncing up and down. She knew he would give in. Patience wasn’t one of his strong points when he was hungry.

  “You are the bane of my life, you know that?” He pulled his hand from hers but rose gracefully to his feet. “Fine. If it will make you happy.”

  She had him. “Come on! It’ll be dark soon.”

  “Good. Let’s make this quick.”

  “Don’t go far!” Her mother’s admonishment came from somewhere above.

  Nyri didn’t bother to answer and simply jumped from the tree. She tumbled through the air before grabbing the branch growing beneath the entrance to their home and swung nimbly down; she loved doing that. Juaan had scolded her so badly the first time she had attempted it. He thought she would end up breaking her neck. He forgot that she was Ninkuraaja. She was made to climb trees. Juaan could run fast but he could not climb as well as she could. She was proud of that fact.

  As she waited for Juaan to make his way down, she stared into the darkening trees. Away from the safety of her lofty home, she felt the first faint thrill of trepidation. Her mind conjured all kinds of danger and monsters. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all. She gripped her friend’s large hand as he came to stand beside her.

  “Will you protect me, Juaan?” she asked softly, facing the shadows.

  “To the end,” he whispered back.

  Her fear left her. “Come on then, clumsy!”

  “I’ll give you clumsy!”

  Squealing, Nyri dodged away as he tried to grab her. She barely noticed the looks of disgust and disapproval from the rest of the tribe as they ran among them. She sprinted from the settlement, using her smaller size and agility to stay one step ahead. She jumped into trees and ran across branches that were too small to take Juaan’s weight. All the while she led him towards her target.

  They were getting close when Nyri abruptly stopped, leaped down and spun around to face him. He had not expected this move and scrambled to prevent himself from colliding with her. His feet skidded from under him in the dark loam and he ended up on his back. She could not resist. She pounced. His stomach was the most ticklish and she targeted it mercilessly. Juaan squirmed and twisted, trying to escape her fingers.

  “Stop!” he choked in a tortured voice. “Stop it!”

  “Say please,” Nyri giggled, keeping up her relentless attack.

  “Please, please, you little monster!”

  Nyri sprang off him, laughing. “Close your eyes.”

  Juaan rolled to his feet, brushing the leaf mould from his back. “Why? What are you going to do with me now?”

  “Nothing!” She was hurt by his suspicion. “I’ve got a surprise for you.”

  He eyed her. “Like what?”

  She sighed. “Close your eyes and you’ll find out!”

  He folded his arms, stubborn as always.

  She folded hers right back and thrust her chin out. “I’m not leaving until you close your eyes.” She stamped her foot for emphasis.

  She watched Juaan glance at the deepening shadows with her own earlier trepidation and decide that it wasn’t worth the fight. “Alright, have it your way!” He closed his eyes.

  “No peeking!” She bounced up and down in triumph and then scrambled a short way into the trees where she had hidden her prize. The stash of ripe red berries was still there. They were Juaan’s favourite. She had found them and kept them secret just for him. Juaan never got to choose what he wanted to eat. He always had to wait until everyone else had taken their pick. Sometimes there was nothing left. She didn’t understand and it upset her.

  “Surprise!” she announced as she lifted his hand and placed a bunch of the saved berries into his palm. “For you.”

  She would get into serious trouble if anyone found out she was withholding food from the rest of the tribe but, as he swept her in to his arms, a smile breaking across his face like Ninmah through the rain clouds, Nyri knew any amount of trouble was worth this one moment in time.

  * * *

  Nyri opened her eyes and stared into the dark. It was clear she was not going to find sleep; dawn was not far away. Doubt continued to plague her as she ran over everything Sefaan had said. There were people who needed her here. Baarias, Kyaati… She should not be running off into the trees to aid the man who had sentenced her people to a slow death through the Fury.

  Our fate sits in your hands. Are you still going to give up?

  Nyri turned her head to stare out towards the forest. Could he save them?

  Nyri, Nyri, Nyriaana…

  She clutched at the little pebble in her hand. For her people’s sake if nothing else, she would face him again.

  Rolling to her feet, she climbed quickly from her tree and made her way to the nearest food store. She hoped she wasn’t already too late and this impossible path had met its end before it had even begun. The thought pushed her into a flat out sprint.

  Reaching the store, Nyri cast around quickly. The forest rested around her, dim and silent. She climbed into the branches and disappeared inside. She paused, absorbing the depleted stores. Even with everyone taking the barest minimum, there was already a noticeable drop in supplies. The sight made her empty stomach plunge to somewhere near her feet.

  In her mind’s eye, she saw Naaya’s pinched little face and nearly wept. Did Sefaan grasp the full consequences of what it would take to keep Juaan alive? Granted she was only taking one extra ration, but it was still wrong.

  Nyri had no time to dwell upon that fact. She could not turn back now. Taking one last look around to make sure she was alone, Nyri bent to search through the baskets and suspended nets for something enough for Juaan. She drew out a large ripe honey fruit. A fruit that size would be enough for both of them. She turned quickly to leave but as she did, her foot caught a stray gora root. She stumbled and came face to face some very familiar red berries dangling from a woven net.

  Despite everything, Nyri almost laughed. For years, she had not been able to look at such fruit without feeling the sting of loss. Now she saw the berries and felt hope, hope that maybe what Sefaan said was true; the Great Spirit was indeed with her.

  Dare she take them? She should only really take what was necessary to keep her and Juaan on their feet. The giant frui
t was more than enough for two. Nyri stood, shifting guiltily from foot to foot. In the end, however, she could not resist. She vowed to go hungry the next day to make up for it.

  Hungrier, her mind corrected itself. Nyri stuffed the honey fruit into her clothing and reached out to collect the berries.

  “Nyriaana!”

  She very nearly hit the twisted branches above her head. “Daajir!”

  He was there in the entranceway. His dark eyes studied her face as her cheeks flushed traitorously. “What’s the matter with you?”

  Nyri fought to compose herself. “You startled me! Don’t do that again.” She hoped he hadn’t seen her transgression.

  He smirked. “Do what? I wasn’t sneaking. You just weren’t paying attention.”

  “I suppose not.” Nyri was chagrined. He hadn’t seen but he had very nearly caught her.

  “Are you sure you’re all right?” He pressed. “You seem… unusually flustered.”

  “Yes, yes,” she said hastily. “What are you doing up so early?”

  He held up a pot of honey for her to see. “I came to replace this. Sefaan demanded that I find it for her. I really did not want to be distracted but she insisted.” He gave an exasperated sigh. “But now she does not want it.”

  “Really?” Nyri asked, trying to cover the flutter of her heart at the mention of Sefaan. “Why is that?”

  “Your guess is as good as mine. You know Sefaan.”

  Nyri nodded. Sefaan had already given her enough to worry about. She was a grown woman. A Kamaali. She could take care of herself.

  “I didn’t think you liked that fruit.”

  “Excuse me?”

  Daajir pointed at the berries clutched tightly in Nyri’s hand. “You have refused to look at them since you were little.”

  “Oh!” Nyri shifted. “I… just decided it was time to try them. We can’t afford to be picky now, can we?” She gave a weak half laugh. You’re going to have to get better at lying, she thought to herself. You’ll have the whole tribe knowing full well you’re up to something. Daajir certainly wasn’t looking convinced.

  “Have you visited Kyaati?” Nyri distracted him.

  “No,” his mouth turned down. “Baarias would not let me. How is she?”