by K T Grant
Aunt Lorraine set it back on the table, eying it strangely, as if she hadn’t noticed it before.
“What’s that?”
She slid her hand inside, pulling out a square velvet box. “There’s a ring inside.”
“A ring? What type of ring?” I pushed aside my drama with Freddie and concentrated on the box Aunt Lorraine held.
She opened the lid to show a platinum ring set with a diamond shaped like a heart.
I covered my mouth. “Is that—?”
“Last night, Gerald asked me to marry him.”
She sounded miserable. She set the open box on the table.
“Why aren’t you happy about his proposal? And why aren’t you wearing his ring?” I bounced in my seat. “You should be in bed with him, having hot sex to celebrate your engagement.”
A flush rose over her face. “He went to the station this morning because of the snow storm. He uh, sprang the question on me last night after the repast. He asked Mom for my hand in marriage a few days before she died. She said she would love nothing more than for him to be her son-in-law.”
I curled an arm around her shoulder, and she rested the side of her head against mine. “You said yes?”
“I told him I would think about it. He decided to shovel the sidewalk and driveway, and clean off my car instead of getting into an argument with me.”
“Marry him. You two are meant to be together. Stop with the guilt over a past you can’t change,” I said, wishing Freddie could hear my advice.
“There’s so much you don’t know about me and Gerald. I almost destroyed his life even before it really began. I don’t want him to make the biggest mistake of his life.” She barely cut off a sob.
I clutched her tight. “Why in the world would you ever think you’re his biggest mistake?”
She hiccupped a watery laugh. “What I’m saying doesn’t make any sense. I blame it on Mommy’s death and Gerald pressing me for an answer. He’s stubborn. No wonder they got along so well.”
“There’s an easy solution to your problem. Marry him and ignore all your doubts.” I lifted the box to get a better look at the contents. “This ring is an example of his love for you. Say yes to the man and wear it with pride.”
“And what about you? You can give out advice but won’t take it.”
“What do you mean?”
“Freddie.” She slid the ring onto her finger and examined it. “You’re haunted by the past, just like me. You have to let things go in order to move ahead and have the fulfilling life your grandmother and I wanted for you.” She ran her thumb over the diamond and smiled. “Before you can have a future with Freddie, though, you need closure with Bianca and her influence on you.”
“That means leaving Boston and moving back here with you. That was my plan. But it doesn’t seem good enough for Freddie.”
“With Bianca’s…accident, it will be much hard for you to walk away from her. She might not let you.”
“She can’t stop me this time. Also, her parents, or at least her mother won’t allow her to continue to see me,” I said with strong conviction in my voice.
Aunt Lorraine took off the ring and put it back in the box. “I don’t think I should wear it until I give Gerald my answer.”
Happy tears filled my eyes. “You should go see him right away, like now. I can drive you.” I stood, ready to pull on my coat. I needed to keep busy or would end up outside Freddie’s café reenacting a boom box scene from some eighties teen movie.
“I think it’s best if I go alone.” Aunt Lorraine enclosed me in a hug. “Or I can wait until tomorrow and then—”
“No, you have to go or you’ll make excuses not to. I’ll be fine,” I said and squeezed her tight.
“All right.” She moved back and plucked at her shirt. “I have to shower first and get changed.” Her eyes widened. “I can’t believe I’m getting engaged at my age.”
“You’ll probably have a quick wedding. Gerald isn’t going to want to wait.” I waved her over to the stairs. “Go shower.”
She hurried past me with a nervous smile and a glowing face.
I spotted my purse, remembering something inside I had to throw in the trash. I went over to the bottom of the stairs. “Aunt Lorraine, I have a favor to ask.”
She turned around and paused. “Yes?”
“Would you drive back with me to Boston and stay with me for a few days? I’ll need help packing.”
“I would love to.” She blew me a kiss and disappeared inside her bedroom.
I closed my fist around her invisible kiss and headed for the kitchen garbage can. I opened my purse and found the diamond heart pendant necklace Bianca gave me for my twenty-first birthday. That was the first time she told me she loved me. It would be years later when she said it again, angry and abusive because she had broken my heart.
I dropped the necklace in the plastic can, lost among the refuse, never to be found. My last good-bye.
Chapter Fifteen
The movers would arrive tomorrow to pick up my furniture and the boxes cluttering my living room floor. Then so long to my old life in Boston and hello to a new start in Delpoint.
Living in Delpoint again. The idea made me laugh. I’d never thought I would move back there permanently. It was a place I had wanted to escape because of what I had ruined. Now it was still up in the air if Freddie waited for me, and if she would accept me back.
During my five weeks in Boston, I’d heard from Freddie once. I sent her weekly updates on my progress whether she wanted it or not, through her business email and even snail mail. For a month, she didn’t respond but then she sent me a text message so simple, yet holding so much meaning. Come see when you get back.
Those six words resurrected my hopes.
Sunlight poured through the window and cast a light on my laptop. After a frigid winter with more snow than I could handle, it was wonderful to now have pleasant weather as spring arrived. In a few weeks, the apple blossoms in Delpoint’s county park would be in full bloom. I would be able to witness it like my childhood and teen years. Always with Freddie by my side. Perhaps we would do that together again.
My positive thoughts pushed me to sit down and finish the last project for Clifford. He’d kept me on rather than show me the door as soon as I came back to work. Instead he requested I stay on until he found someone for my position. Strange how he wasn’t influenced by his parents or judgmental toward me for what happened with his sister.
I thrust aside all thoughts of Bianca and concentrated on the chart on my monitor.
Before I started typing, my doorbell rang. It wasn’t even noon. I wasn’t expecting any visitors, not even Aunt Lorraine who had offered to stay with me again like she had done for a few days when I first returned to Boston. I had turned her down, wanting to finish things on my own.
I peered out the peephole, taken aback by the person waiting on the other end. After a calming breath, I unlocked the door.
Mrs. Durand, dressed in her usual blouse and long, dark-colored skirt, smiled politely at me. “Hello, Cassandra.”
I clutched the doorway as lightheadedness set in. “Um, hi, Mrs. Durand.”
“You may call me Noel,” she said, her gaze locked on my face.
“Noel.” The only reason I could think of her stopping by was to make certain I was leaving and not returning. It would be far from a pleasant visit. “Did you stop by for proof I’m packed? As you can see, my living room is filled with boxes. Also, if you talked to your son, you would know I’m finishing any—”
She held up her hand, stopping my rambling. “I didn’t stop by to check on you. I’m here for another reason.” Her reserved expression switched to discomfort. “Bianca needs to see you right away.”
“Why?” I dug my nails deeper into the wall. Something bad must have happened to Bianca. Had she tried killing herself again?
“Her doctor has suggested for Bianca to make a full recovery and have a better quality of life, she should to
say good-bye to certain influences that caused her to deteriorate emotionally.”
“You make her sound like an addict going through a twelve step program.” I glared at Noel with contempt. Her mindset that Bianca had some sort of affliction disgusted me, partly because she thought the same about me.
The lines around her mouth and in her forehead whitened. “Think what you may about me and my beliefs, but I love my daughter and want what’s best for her. She desperately needs to move on from you. The only way to make her transition a success is if she cuts all ties with you. She’s ready to do that, but before she can, she has to meet with you face to face.”
“What if I say no? Maybe it’s in my best interests if I don’t see your daughter again. As you suggested, I’m ready to move on,” I said, ready to shut the door on her.
Her face fell. “Please help me.”
Her plea lacked malice or animosity. It was a genuine reaction from a mother who didn’t want to see her child in pain.
I stepped back, motioning for her to enter. “Why don’t you come inside while I change into something more appropriate?”
She gave me a tentative smile and entered.
***
“Bianca should be resting on the back patio. She likes to sit there and watch the gardener plant seeds and the flowers,” Noel said, walking on the path that would take us around back.
The Durand property was one of the biggest on the block, at around three acres. Bianca and I had disappeared in the garden during those times I had been invited to the house for one of their parties. Once, right after we graduated, I stayed for the weekend while her parents were away. We spent most of the time in the garden, lying on blankets under large maple trees near the small manmade lake. That was where Bianca gave me the necklace I had thrown in the garbage. I touched my bare neck, as a slight pang of regret rushed over me
“Is something wrong?” Noel stopped when I didn’t keep up with her strides.
“Ah, no. I was remembering the last time I was here when you hosted that wonderful July Fourth party.”
If she found my comment strange, she didn’t show it. She muttered a thank you and we continued on until we reached the edge of the patio where Bianca sat. A blanket lay across her lap, and she read a fashion magazine, appearing quite serene.
She didn’t look up until Noel’s heels clicked on the patio floor. Her face was fuller, and although she wore no makeup, there was natural color to her cheeks. Her hair hung down her back in a simple braid.
When Noel whispered in her ear, Bianca threw aside the blanket and rose, staring directly at me with a soberness I had never seen before. She set her palm under the slight curve of her belly clearly visible through her white linen dress. For once she was barefoot.
“Hello, Cassandra. Thank you for coming,” she said, taking her seat again.
Noel rested a hand on Bianca’s shoulder. “It’s a little chilly out here. Why don’t we move inside—”
“It’s not too cold. The sun feels wonderful.” Bianca tipped her face up to the sky. “I also have my blanket to keep me warm. But, if Cassandra wants to go inside, then we can.”
Both daughter and mother turned to me for an answer. “I don’t mind staying outside. It’s warm enough for me.” I chose the vacant chair closest to the edge of the patio. In the past, I would have sat with Bianca, but those days were over.
Noel looked like she wanted to argue, but then Bianca curled her fingers around her mother’s on her shoulder. Noel dipped her head forward and then stood up straighter with a pleasant smile on her face. “I’ll have refreshments made.”
She stepped back, keeping a close watch, until she reached the sliding glass doors to the house. She opened them and a short, dark-skinned woman appeared. Noel spoke in low voice to the woman who nodded and walked away. Noel came back and sat down next to Bianca.
Bianca’s unblinking stare and expressionless face made me want to squirm. She didn’t say a word, just rubbed her stomach.
I couldn’t stand the silence. “Were you the one to invite me here, or was it your mother’s idea?”
“It was mine,” Bianca said and her forehead burrowed. “You’re not wearing your pretty necklace. You always wear it.”
A shrill whistle, and then a sound like rushing water filtered through my ears. “I don’t wear it anymore.”
Bianca’s mouth opened slightly and she set her fingers on her chin, examining my throat. She turned toward Noel. “I want to talk to Cassandra alone.”
Noel’s mouth started to fall in to a frown. “I should stay in case—”
“Mother,” Bianca said in a firm voice, “stop hovering. You can watch us from inside the house.”
Noel’s crestfallen expression almost made me laugh. I agreed with Bianca in this case. I wouldn’t be able to speak what was on my mind if her mother stayed.
“I’ll check on the refreshments.” Noel rose from the couch slowly, looking from me to Bianca.
When Bianca brought her attention back to me, her mother left, her heels clicking loudly until she entered the house. She remained inside the screen door, staring right at me with her lips compressed in a rigid line.
“How are you, Cassandra?” Bianca asked with a hitch in her voice.
“I’m well. You look much better.” I grasped the arms of the chair in a light hold.
“I’ve gained weight, and my feet have started to swell.” She presented her perfectly manicured foot.
“Side effects of the pregnancy.” I tried smiling in sympathy, but my lips froze in place.
“When did you find out?”
“Dale told me at the hospital that day….” I inhaled swiftly, catching sight of the inside of Bianca’s wrists. She held out her hands, palm up, displaying the reddened scars. “I went too far this time.”
“Why did you do it? Was it to get back at me?”
She twisted her engagement ring back and forth around her finger. “I was upset by our fight and reacted poorly.”
“Poorly? You not only screamed at me, but you slapped me and then wanted to—” I pressed a fist to my mouth, shaken by the memory of her dragging me toward the bedroom to continue her abuse.
“If I could go back in time to change it all, I would, but I can’t.” She shrugged and studied her lap.
“Change it all? Do you mean the altercation in your hotel room or our entire relationship?”
“There’s so much I would change,” she replied in a feeble voice.
That wasn’t the answer I wanted. I could push the issue, but Bianca’s fragile emotional state held me back. Even if I asked her for clarification, she wouldn’t answer unless she wanted to.
“Why did you want to see me?” Maybe she would explain why she had her mother, of all people, bring me to her.
She pulled the blanket up under her chin. “I’m moving, and I don’t know when I’ll return to the US.”
“You’re moving out of the United States?”
She nodded, gazing back at me with the most beautiful violet eyes. Once piercing, now they held emptiness and grief.
“Dale’s law firm offered him a position in their London branch. We’ll move there at the end of the month. Mother will come to help me with the transition.” Her smile lit up her face. “It’s a great opportunity for him…for me. We’ll marry before the baby is born, and we’ll be a happy family!”
Her voice held a slight hysterical pitch. Noel opened the screen door but didn’t approach us.
“Sounds wonderful and exciting,” I said, forcing out an upbeat tone.
“The wedding will be small, just family.” Bianca slumped into her seat. “I did want you as my maid of honor…before, but in light of everything, I think it’s for the best if you’re not.”
Her subdued explanation didn’t hide her grief. The vibrant woman who had been the center of my world had disappeared. All that remained was a shell. It should have distressed me, but all I had was regret because all our years together left us with noth
ing to show for it.
“Is this what you want, Bianca? You’re going to leave so much behind.” It was a long shot, but perhaps she would acknowledge how important I had been to her.
“I don’t want to end up with more scars.” She lifted her arm from under the blanket. “In order to adjust to my new role as a wife and mother, I have to move away from the destructive forces that made me try and kill myself.”
And there was my answer. It would have hurt less if she had slapped me in the face again. Of course she would deflect the blame onto someone else, meaning me.
“Ladies, I have lunch waiting for us inside.” Noel stood laid her hands on her daughter’s shoulders. Bianca sat forward, dislodging her mother’s hold.
I took out my cell, scanning the touch screen, even though it was blank. “I can’t stay for lunch. Something more important has come up.”
Anguish spread over Bianca’s face. I was unmoved by her pain. I wouldn’t lower myself and beg for more affection or recognition from her.
Noel looked pleased. “My driver will take you home. Thank you for seeing Bianca one last time.”
Bianca stood, pulling the blanket around her shoulders. Her eyes locked on my face, memorizing my features. Perhaps even remembering the times she had kissed me, rubbing her cheek on mine as we lay side by side in the afterglow of our passion.
Passion had never been a problem for us. Everything else involved in creating a loving relationship had been missing.
“Have a safe trip to England” I went to turn away but stopped when Bianca said my name.
“Shake my hand,” she said, reaching out toward me.
The first time we met was at freshman orientation. She had come up to me and introduced herself. She had given me her name and held out her hand, saying the exact thing in welcome. Now she said it as a farewell.
I gave it a quick pump. She tightened her grip and curled her fingers around mine.
“Bianca, you have to let go,” I said in a gentle voice.
