Shock Treatment

by Geoffrey Lyon

  The next day, they transported her back to station twelve for more conditioning. She still resisted, trying various new combinations of thoughts and ideas to keep her mind from accepting Shivan’s directives. But it was getting to be more and more difficult with each passing hour. At the end of the session, she felt completely drained. This time, when they brought her back to the tin shed, it look a long time to be able to sleep. She kept hearing the chant ringing in her ears, “Pama! Pama! Pama! Pama!” She tried shaking it off, distracting her mind, focusing her thoughts on her breathing, imagining herself on a roller coaster ride or climbing a mountain. But the chant kept returning into her mind. Try as she might, she could not fight it off.

  This patten repeated day after day. Miriam lost count of the number of times she had been taken to station twelve for reconditioning. She was beyond exhausted now, and just wanted it to end. She found herself wishing for her old life, or at least an end to this one she was in now.

  She felt like she was at breaking point.

  Crouching down in the tin shed, cramped and uncomfortable, she retreated into the depths of her own mind. There was a certain solace here. It was calm, comforting, safe. No matter how hard Shivan or anyone else may try, they could not reach here. This was her deepest self, eternal and invincible. It was an ocean of tranquility within an impenetrable fortress. She did not know how she got here, but now that she had arrived, she didn’t want to ever leave. She was in bliss in this serenity and peace.

  Down she dove into the depths of the ocean. Deeper and deeper. Gradually, the light from the Sun faded, and the water turned cold and dark. But there was nothing to fear here. There were no predators or danger. Down into the depths she went.

  Finally, she reached the ocean floor. She settled down on it, floating gently to the ground and sitting down cross-legged. She looked at the sight before her eyes, something she had always known was there, ever since she was born, but had never quite seen as clear as now. There, floating gently in the water, in the deepest depths of the ocean of her self, was a pure lotus flower. It hovered perfectly still in the water, untouched and untroubled by the raging storms on the surface. It was in perfect equipoise.

  Miriam saw the tiny new born baby in the hospital ward. The nurses were rushing her to the ICU. The mother lay exhausted on the bed, her face the picture of worry for her newborn child. The doctors were worried too, but the baby survived. She was not born into the world only to perish. She thrived, and she grew up into the woman she was today. Into the woman who was witnessing this drama unfold right now.

  Slowly, ever so slowly, the nature of her self was being revealed to her. Within the petals of the lotus, nestled in the center, was that baby. A healthy, strong, baby girl.

  Mirim smiled a smile of love at the sight. This baby was her. She was witnessing her own self. The indestructible part of herself, the part that wa powerful beyond measure, the eternal self.

  She gazed in wonder at this vision. As she realized that this was her own self, memories of childhood came flooding back into her consciousness. She remembered learning to ride her bicycle, how her Dad used to hold the bicycle and run alongside while she pedaled furiously, hoping that she would be able to keep the balance when he let go. Memories of birthdays with cakes and friends coming over to play. Collecting pictures of fashion and art for her scrapbook. Her first kiss. And Daniel. Memories of watching the sunset on the beach, flowers, long hours beside the fireplace, making love . . .

  Back when she was around ten years old, sitting in the barbershop with her mother, waiting for her turn. The girl across the aisle was reading a popular comic book series, The Aventures of Nova Shock. Miriam wished she could have been able to afford those comics. But her mother said they were a waste of money, and instead bought her books from school.

  There were flashes of memories. The girl across the aisle got up suddenly needing to go to the restroom. She and her mother hurriedly made their way to the restroom, leaving the Nova Shock comic book lying open on the bench. Miriam stood up and glanced at the pages. Nova was fending off ten armed attackers with her bare hands. She was incredible. Unstoppable. Invincible.

  These flashes of memories. And then a surge of new emotion. Something was happening within her. The calm, tranquil ocean was stirring. Slowly, very slowly at first. But then, bit by bit, it began to churn and twist. And it got more and more agitated, until it felt like she was in the middle of a blender. All the energy and force pushed her up, straight up, faster and faster until she opened her eyes, gasping for breath, in that little tin shed in the middle of the night.

  Chapter 16

  “Who is your God?”

  “His Holiness is the one true Lord God, there is no other.”

  Shivan blinked in surprise. She took a good look at Miriam. Then she nodded in approval, and glanced around at all in attendance.

  “This is the great power of His Holiness,” she declared, “He turns even enemies into loyal devotees.”

  They responded in chant, “Pama! Pama! Pama!” And Miriam joined in.

  “This is very good,” Shivan was pleased. “Your progress is to be commended.”

  But she wanted to make sure.

  “What is the purpose to life?”

  “To serve the divine.”

  “Who is the divine?”

  “Lord Pama.”

  Shivan asked a few more questions pertaining to 2F belief and philosophy, and when she was satisfied, she gave the order.

  “Your time in the hole is done,” she smiled at Miriam, “Now that you have found your way in 2F, you are ready to join us again.”

  She smiled sweetly.

  “I am looking forward to it,” said Miriam in response. Her tone was neutral, even, without a hint of emotion.

  Shivan motioned to one of her assistants.

  “Get her cleaned up, let her have a bath, and get some new clothes for her,” she whispered in his ear. He nodded and promptly headed off to begin making the arrangements.

  “You, my dear, are going to spend some time with Pama himself,” Shivan said under her breath, eyeing Miriam closely.

  After all the time spent in the tin shed and at station twelve being tortured, it was equally jarring for Miriam to find herself sitting in a warm scented bath with rose petals and an attendant at the ready with body wash and towels. What kind of bizarre reality was this? She couldn’t quite comprehend it. Nevertheless, she took advantage of the opportunity to rest. After the bath she applied ointment and salve to her wounds, and ate a proper meal. They brought her some chicken soup, which she relished. She could feel the strength returning to her body. She knew that this will all temporary, though, and that they would throw her back in the tin shed the moment they realized that they had not succeeded in breaking her. So she kept her wits about her, remained cool and collected, and gave them the exact answers they were looking for. And they were satisfied.

  “Petra, Wilson,” Shivan walked in and addressed the attendants, “Thank you so much for your help. I will take it from here.”

  The girls bowed slightly in deference to Shivan and left the room.

  Miriam looked up at Shivan, maintaining her neutral look. Think nothing thoughts, she kept telling herself, think nothing thoughts.

  “I have something for you,” Shivan had brought a bag with her. She pulled out a long, flowing, glittering sleeveless blue dress with a plunging neckline.

  “Oh, it’s beautiful,” Miriam gasped with the requisite awe.

  “Isn’t it? I’m glad you like it. You will wear it today for your meeting with His Holiness.”

  Miriam’s eyes met Shivan’s. “His Holiness would meet with me?” she had to be careful here, as this was a delicate matter. She navigated through it like threading a needle. “After how I behaved the last time? He is very, very generous.”

  “He is indeed. When the hour is here, someone will come to get you. Make sure you are wearing that.” Shivan turned to go, then turned back with an afterthought. “
Oh, and, no underwear.”

  Miriam nodded obediently as expected.

  When Petra and Wilson returned, Miriam was wearing the dress as instructed. Both Petra and Wilson gasped with delight.

  “Oh you look radiant!” Petra said.

  “Yes but this dress doesn’t cover my scars,” Miriam replied, “you know, from the torture?”

  An uneasy silence fell over the room.

  “Oh well, no worries!” Miriam broke the silence, smiling broadly at Petra and Wilson. “I’m ready, let’s go?”

  They accompanied her down several hallways and through a series of doors and rooms until they finally reached Pama’s private quarters. After knocking on the door, they bowed and then hurried away, leaving Miriam by herself. Miriam stared at the heavy wooden door in front of her. She did’t particularly cherish seeing Pama again, especially after the last episode. But, she had to discover the truth about what happened to Daniel, and this was the only way to do it. So she steeled herself soon up straight, and waited.

  It didn’t take very long for the door to open. And there, standing in a red velvet gown, cigar sticking out of the side of his mouth, with Pama, with that sick twisted smile of his.

  He stood and looked Miriam up and down, openly admiring her body.

  “Well, you know,” he finally said, “Shivan had told ne that she had worked on you, but to see you like this now, in the flesh, it’s really something else.”

  Miriam kept her expression neutral and did not display her revulsion.

  “May I come in?” she said, almost robotically.

  “Oh may you! You may! You may!” Pama opened the door wider and stepped aside to let her enter. He closed the door behind her and followed her as she walked into his private chambers.

  “Have a seat,” he waved to the plush, purple couch. Miriam sat down on it and sank into the soft cushioned seating. She draped her arm over the armrest.

  “Do you like the bed?” Pama motioned to the huge bed in the center of the room. Track lighting in the ceiling was aimed at the bed, red lightbulbs providing the colored lighting.

  “It’s interesting,” Miriam replied, with a little wink and a smile, “Does a lot of stuff happen on that bed?”

  “Define ‘stuff’,” Pama chuckled. He was thoroughly enjoying this little game.

  “Oh, you know,” Miriam played along, “this and that.”

  “Yes,” Pama nodded vigorously, “A lot of that, and a lot of that.”

  “Will you be doing this to me, or that?”

  “Why don’t we find out? Maybe a little bit of that, and a little bit of that?”

  He sat down beside her, eager with anticipation. His rested his hand on her thigh, inching closer to her body.

  “I am curious about one thing, though,” Miriam said, “you always knew who I was, even before I came here?”

  “I knew,” Pama nodded, answering her question.

  “And those messages you sent me when I was in the hotel room, signed ’NP’. That was you?”

  Pama chuckled and nodded again. “It was me,” he admitted. “I have been watching you, keeping an eye on you. I knew you would come here, eventually.”

  “I see. So you were watching me all along.”

  “I was, yes.”

  “Ever since you killed Daniel.”

  Pama’s face suddenly became very serious. The smile and laughter evaporated.

  “I suppose I can tell you now,” he said, “You see, Daniel had committed some very serious acts here, he had made illegal recordings and was trying to smuggle them out. That kind of behavior, as you now know, cannot be condoned.”

  “I see,” Miriam’s heart was hammering in her chest. The man who had murdered her beloved Daniel was right here in this room with her, right now, making a confession.

  “And it wasn’t just that. He was always so curious about everything. With him it was always ‘why this? why that?’ It became very annoying, frankly. And when I found out that he had put pictures and video from our private sessions on a USB drive, and that he was going to hand it over to the police? And publish a very fake article about 2F. Well, then I had to do something. I could not just let him destroy our organization because he was disgruntled.”

  “Daniel was disgruntled? Why?”

  “He didn’t get promoted to team lead,” Pama was smiling again, but this time it was a sinister, evil smile.

  “And because of that, you killed all nine passengers on that flight?”

  “I did what had to be done,” Pama snarled. “I took the courageous act. I demonstrated strength and followed through with my convictions. How many people can say that of themselves?”

  Miriam probed further. “And after you killed all those people, you started watching their families, their loved ones.”

  “Of course, I had to be careful to make sure nothing had leaked. Of course, it was only Daniel that I was really worried about.”

  “And that’s when you started monitoring me.”

  “Yes. It was clear to me soon enough that you didn’t know anything. But the way you kept poking and prodding, I knew you’d end up here sooner or later. Good for me you ended up here like you are now.”

  “You were worried that Daniel might have told me something? He didn’t have any opportunity to do so, you made sure of that.”

  “Yes, but there was something else. Something in the equation was missing.”

  “And that was . . . ?”

  “The USB drive. My men couldn’t find it on him, I don’t know how he got it off that aircraft, but it was missing. We thought you might have it. That’s why I was having you followed and watched. I had your apartment searched but of course they found nothing.”

  Miriam let out a deep sigh. Finally, she had the answers she had been seeking.

  “What will you do now?” she asked, almost by reflex.

  “The non-believers will burn,” Pama said darkly.

  “What do you mean?”

  He waved his arms in dramatic fashion.

  “The city of San Francisco is less than fifty miles away,” he pronounced. “Do you know the population density?”

  “I’m going to say a lot,” replied Miriam.

  “Just under three and a half million,” Pama said. “That’s three and a half million souls who are lost! They will burn!”

  Miriam was suddenly alarmed. She saw the crazed, frenzied look in Pama’s eyes.

  “What do you mean?” she asked with a renewed sense of urgency, “How will they burn? Why? What did they do?”

  “We have been preaching to the heathen there for many years, but they won’t listen. They won’t heed the call of 2F, they won’t join us. So they, the non-believers, will perish while we will flourish!”

  “So you plan to murder them for not following you?”

  “It is not murder! It’s a cleansing!”

  He gesticulated wildly. Miriam realized that she was in the company of a madman. She had to get out of here.

  “This plan, this cleansing,” she said, standing up as nonchalantly as she could manage, “When do you plan on doing it?”

  “Soon,” he nodded, his eyes bulging from his head like some strange lizard. The veins in his neck stood out prominently. “It will be soon. We have been testing our delivery mechanism for months. And now we have finally perfected it.”

  “Delivery mechanism?”

  “We will fly the poison to the city,” he rubbed his hands with glee, “in hot air balloons! Remote controlled!”

  He couldn’t help but throw his head back and cackle in laughter. Miriam began to inch towards the door. Anywhere felt safer than in her with this lunatic.

  “We will hover the balloons over the city, and when I give the order, simultaneously release the gas. When people breathe it in, it will cause completely paralysis, followed soon after by death.”

  “What kind of poison is that?”

  “It’s a neurotoxin. TTX. Have you heard of the puffer fish?”

  �
�Yeah, it’s poisonous.”

  “Tetrodotoxin, TTX, comes from the glands of the puffer fish. As you probably know, it’s highly poisonous. My people have figured out how to convert TTX into a gaseous substance. Once a person breathes it in and it gets in their lungs, there’s not much more anyone can do but wait for death!”

  “My God,” Miriam stared at Pama, “Why would you do something so horrible to so many innocent people?”

  “Innocent?” Pama blinked and looked at her. Her remark had broken his trance. He stared at her as if seeing her there for the first time. He frowned, looking at her suspiciously.