The Lavender Teacup

by Mary Bowers

  “Perish the thought,” he said with a shudder. “Having a lot of strangers putting wet glasses down on my antique tables and spilling wine on the books in my library? No thank you.”

  “And a cleaning lady and landscapers and a pool boy,” Arielle went on as if it were all a dream. “And me here stripping down the beds every day and cooking breakfast at the crack of dawn.”

  “I thought you hired a girl,” Darrien said.

  “She didn’t work out. So it’s just me here, doing everything by myself.” She came to suddenly, realizing she was making us uncomfortable, and tried to laugh it off. “I wouldn’t change it for the world, really. I love this house, and I knew what I was getting into when I opened the B&B. Don’t pay any attention to me. I’m just tired.”

  Darrien wasn’t laughing, but before the cousins could start fighting again, Teddy came into the room and the whole atmosphere changed.

  Teddy always enters a room as if everybody in it had been sitting around in a coma, just waiting for him to show up. He enters talking and doesn’t notice if he’s interrupting.

  “Hell of a night,” he said. “Not even the kind of a night when you want to get drunk and forget about everything. Lily and I only had one drink each, but then we decided to call it a night. We were too wound up to get drunk, no matter how much we put away. And our hearts just weren’t in it. All we could think about was that poor lady and whatever’s going on with that artifact she got hold of. We’ll be the ones facing it next, you know. Well, everybody we could possibly want to talk it out with was back here,” he said, looking around as if we should be touched.

  “Want some wine?” Arielle asked without getting up. “Coffee?”

  “No thanks,” Lily answered for both of them. “No coffee for sure, and a glass of wine can actually keep me up all night, too, if it’s the wrong kind.”

  “I know what you mean,” Arielle said.

  “Is Ed making any progress?” Teddy asked me, giving me a significant look.

  “Go ask him,” I said. “I told him about the accident, but he’s probably back at work by now. When I went in, he had the cup under a blacklight.”

  “Exactly,” Teddy said, nodding to himself as if this made perfect sense. “I wonder if he’s done the chemical test yet. I’ll just go look in on him.”

  Arielle called after him, “While he’s doing the chemical test, tell him to dissolve it, will you?”

  Chapter 21

  Darrien exited the B&B without leaving any ripples behind him. He seemed a negative sort of presence, not in his tone but in how much of him seemed to be there. He could drop out of a conversation without diminishing it.

  He wasn’t particularly striking looking, either. A little overweight, neither tall nor short, neither smiley nor frowny, neither approving nor disapproving. Just there. His yellowish hair was sparse enough that he could have given himself more character by shaving his head altogether, but he didn’t. He carefully tended what he had, and it wasn’t enough to give his face a frame. His eyes were the same blue as Arielle’s, but his skin was sallow enough to drain the color off and make them look dull. Even after spending time talking to him in Arielle’s kitchen, I could have passed him in the street and not noticed him. Funny how things get distributed in families: Arielle had gotten all the personality and Darrien, apparently, had gotten all the money.

  Michael, Arielle, Lily and I had a desultory conversation after he left and Teddy went to check on Ed. We just picked away at the events of the evening in no particular order. We had reached a state of inertia – too tired to really get engaged in a discussion but unwilling to break it up and go to bed. Soon we got to talking about who had done what and where everybody had been when Maryellen had fallen into the Gulf. It wasn’t a whodunnit-style alibi hunt, of course, because her death had just been an accident.

  “I wonder where Camille was,” I said idly. “She told the cop she’d been with us, but she wasn’t, at least not the whole time. When you said you knew how to fold up the table, she went off to talk to Teddy, but she says she didn’t find him. Well, she didn’t come back to us, either.”

  Michael nodded.

  “I think I saw her,” Lily said, frowning. “She was wearing a long black dress, right?”

  “Not anymore,” I said. “She took it off. She had casual clothes underneath – a dark shirt and capris.”

  “Now that I think of it, the black dress on the lady I saw was more of a cocktail dress. Must have been somebody else.”

  “She took the dress off? In that case, I saw her,” Arielle said. “I thought it couldn’t be her because she was in capris, and the last time I’d seen her she was wearing the dress. I wasn’t close enough to see her face. She was talking to The Professor. I was surprised to see him with somebody else, because he’d walked off with you,” she added, looking at Lily.

  “We weren’t together for long. As soon as Teddy showed up, he bowed out, like he said. He must have run into Camille after that.”

  “Funny neither one of them mentioned it,” I said.

  “Well, the cop wasn’t trying to make out a timeline on us, per se,” Michael said. “He just wanted to know when we’d all seen Maryellen last, and if any of us were near her when she fell.”

  “Well, Pinkie and Al might be able to find a witness,” I said. Then I quirked a smile. “Imagine a lady cop letting people call her Pinkie.”

  “Pinkie’s a man,” Arielle said. “Jim Pinkerton. Al is the lady cop – Alice Kemp, but she’s more of an Al than an Alice, if you know what I mean.”

  I shrugged. “If she’s going to be a cop, that’s probably a good thing. And I don’t need to know about Pinkie.”

  “He’s straight,” Arielle said. “Everybody’s always called him Pinkie, ever since he was a kid. He doesn’t seem to mind, and calling him that makes him more accessible, somehow.”

  “Well, maybe those two will find somebody who was near Maryellen, and we’ll know what happened, not that it’ll make any difference now,” I said.

  “We already know what happened,” Arielle said. “She got distracted by her people-watching and took a wrong step. Now I’m going to bed. Y’all hang around in the kitchen as long as you want and help yourself to anything in the refrigerator except for what’s in the long pan on the bottom shelf. That’s tomorrow’s breakfast strata, and it needs baking. Good night, everybody.”

  We told her good night and soon after that decided we’d turn in too. When I went past Ed’s room, I saw Teddy in there haranguing him about something. He’d left the door open, and I thought about stepping in long enough to ask if Dobbs’s PDF had come through yet, but I caught myself in time. We weren’t letting Teddy know about Dobbs.

  * * * * *

  I didn’t think I could get to sleep that night, but I did. And for once, I wasn’t bothered by green-tinted dreams filled with Delphic prophesies, even though Bella was sleeping on the bed with us. I tend to have those dreams when I’m feeling stressed. I guess it’s my subconscious trying to give me answers, even though like all prophesies they don’t make sense until later. In those dreams, my cat comes to me as a lady and speaks in riddles.

  But that night, there was no dream lady. I would have gotten a good, long, refreshing sleep if I hadn’t been awakened by a huge crash and a woman screaming at 2:30 in the morning.

  Michael has that manly quality of always being ready for anything, when it comes to emergencies. He’s on his feet before he’s awake and he’s moving before he knows where he’s going.

  “Was that in the house, here?” I asked, staying sensibly under the covers as my hero went forward.

  “I think so,” he threw at me just before disappearing through the door, leaving it open behind him.

  By then there was lots of commotion in the B&B. Only Bella and I remained in place, gazing at one another. She didn’t seem inclined to go see what was going on either, but I finally decided I’d better. Michael was out there; if there was an intruder, he might need so
mebody to jump the guy from behind. Which, of course, I would have. Once I’m awake, I’m invincible.

  “Okay, I’m awake,” I said to the cat, and I got up and went to see what was going on.

  Nobody was left in the guestroom hall by the time I got out there, but I could hear voices deeper in the house. I followed the sounds, going into the kitchen and finally past it and into Arielle’s bedroom. She was on the floor, being tended to by Elliott and Wyatt. Teddy had insisted that his soundman and videographer get emergency first-aid training, because people had gotten hurt on some of the shoots, so they knew what they were doing. Everybody else was just standing around.

  “What happened?” I asked.

  “Somebody or something threw that lamp at me,” Arielle said in a shrill voice, half-terrified, half-outraged.

  For the first time I noticed the scattered pieces of a lamp lying on the porcelain floor tiles. Its mate on the dressing table was an Early American double-bubble with peach flowers painted on it. The glass globes were set in a brass frame that looked substantial.

  “Was it an intruder?” I asked, looking around.

  “I didn’t see anybody, and I was the first one here,” Elliott said. “Was it a man, Arielle?”

  “It wasn’t human,” she said, her voice dropping. “No human hand threw that lamp. I have the security alarm set, since everybody was in. I almost never use it, since a guest could easily set it off just by opening a window, but after what happened last night, I was so nervous that I just did it. The alarm would have gone off if a door or window had been opened. Nobody came in, and it wasn’t one of you. I was getting up for a drink of water and the lamp just flew at me.”

  Wyatt made soothing noises while Elliott asked for more light. Somebody had turned on the kitchen light as they had run through, but all we were getting in the bedroom was what filtered in through the stained-glass window.

  I turned the key-shaped knob on the double-bubble and it gave off a gentle, peach-tinted glow.

  I looked Arielle over for injuries and she seemed to be okay. In fact, she looked ready for the action movie rescue scene, all frightened and vulnerable and pretty much naked. Conservatively appraising her sleepwear, I figured at least $300, even on sale. Cost per square inch, about $30, excluding the handmade lace. It was a satin, ivory-colored teddy with lace where a more solid fabric would have kept the essentials hidden, but what’s the fun in that? In her current position, the satin was stretched over points and curves, and daringly hiked up over a bare hip.

  Even at 2:30 in the morning, her story wasn’t running a chill up my spine. Granted I had an attitude towards Arielle, but even after straining to be fair, I wasn’t buying it. If somebody had thrown a lamp at her and connected, she would have been hurt. Bleeding or something. The ivory satin revealed a lot, but no bloodstains. And there she was, helplessly sprawled in front of five – count ‘em – five men, one of whom she’d been trying to sit in the lap of ever since he got there. Again, I had to admit that she had legs, but now that we were pretty sure she wasn’t going to die, I could see the men noticing that she was biologically complete in every way, and it all looked as if it worked just fine.

  I had packed my favorite black lounging pajamas, as I always did when I traveled, in case the hotel caught fire and the press was broadcasting live when I ran out into the street, but now it occurred to me that they’d been my favorites for quite some time now. The purple lace around the edges wasn’t very purple anymore. Even if it had been, it couldn’t compete with ivory satin, and there were yards of it, not inches. I suddenly felt like a little old lady dancing next to a Rockette.

  “Is she hurt?” I asked, and I believe my tone of voice was kindly, but Michael threw a warning glance at me.

  “I don’t think so,” Elliott said. He was in a tiny pair of black briefs, and I figured this was the last trip he’d make without pajamas. “Just a bump on the head. Can you sit up?”

  “I – I think so.”

  “Did that thing actually hit you?” I asked. Another warning glance. I eyebrowed him and kept my eyes on her.

  She made confused gestures, raising her arms and feeling around the back of her neck. Another impressive pose. I silently congratulated her.

  Elliott took a closer look where she was touching and said, “I don’t see anything.” Gently – a lot less vigorously than I would have – he felt around the back of her head for himself. “Some bruising might come up tomorrow.” He positioned himself and got her to look him in the eyes. “Does it hurt much?” he asked tenderly.

  “I don’t know. I’m still shaking.”

  “That’s all right. My instinct is to put a cold compress on it. What do you think, Wyatt?”

  “I agree.” Then he added, “Look, you’re all in your bare feet. Watch out for broken glass. You wouldn’t believe how far it can slide on a floor like this. I don’t think the lamp actually hit her, Elliott; I think she hit her head when she fell.”

  “You’re probably right. I can’t even feel a bump, at least not yet. You sure you’re all right, Elle?”

  “Yes,” she said. She started to nod, then stopped herself with a grimace.

  Elliott was moving his forefinger in front of her eyes, telling her to track it and giving her a good hard look. Finally he said, “Her pupils are the same size, she’s tracking well – I don’t see any signs of concussion. I think we can get her back to bed, but somebody should stay with her tonight. You just rest now, Elle. In the morning, we’ll look for bruises.”

  Gingerly, he helped her up and settled her in the bed.

  “It’s not very sore,” she said bravely. Then her eyes became fixed and glassy and I began to wonder if symptoms of a concussion were about to manifest, right on cue. Instead, she sought out Ed and whispered, “Is that thing still in the house?”

  There was a general ruffling around the room.

  “Yes,” Ed said. “Yes it is.”

  “Get it out of here,” she whispered. “Get it out of here tonight!”

  “Now, Elle,” Teddy said, outflanking Elliott and sitting down on the bed to take her hand, “we have a job to do. You’re safe now; Lily and Taylor are going to sit up with you tonight – ”

  (“We are?”)

  “– and make sure nothing else happens to you. But first, we’re going to get this mess cleaned up and when you get up in the morning, it’ll be like nothing ever happened. I promise. Tomorrow . . . actually, tonight, I guess . . . we’re going to shoot the episode of Haunt or Hoax? that we came for, and the cup will have no more power to hurt anyone. Isn’t that what you want?”

  “I guess so,” she said meekly. “But you won’t leave me alone until then?”

  She was talking to Teddy, not Lily and me.

  “We’ll be here the whole time. Now don’t you worry about a thing. We’ll make our own beds tomorrow and fix our own breakfasts. You just rest and relax, okay? Before you know it, your house will be cleansed and all this darkness will be lifted.”

  Smart remarks about going back to Mallory Square and screaming for the sun to get back up again and lift this awful darkness went through my mind, but I managed to keep them from getting out of my mouth.

  “Now you’re still going to be out of action in the morning,” Teddy said, “so you’d better give me the code for the alarm, so I can turn it off. After all this, we don’t want a stiff breeze to set it off and get everybody hysterical again.”

  He bent down so she could whisper the secret into his ear, and Lily and I shared a look of quiet nausea.

  When he lifted his head away and patted her reassuringly, Arielle sniffled a little and smiled a little and then turned to me and told me how to bake the breakfast strata.

  “And get her a cold pack,” Teddy said over his shoulder. “Maybe a baggie with ice and a towel wrapped around it.”

  “There’s an ice pack in the freezer,” Elle told me. “I always keep it there. It’s a blue thing with a strap.”

  “You got it.” I caug
ht Lily’s eye and motioned for her to come into the kitchen with me.

  I could see that Lily was taking all this the same way I was. I kept my voice low and said, “At least she’s keeping Teddy occupied, so he won’t be bothering you.”

  I wasn’t pleased when I didn’t get at least a little smile out of her, and I began to worry that she was weakening in the face of all that competition in the satin teddy.

  Michael had left the room with us, and now he came back in a pair of running shoes, carrying a pair of my flip flops and a broom. After he got me shod, he went about his mission, finding a large plastic bag in the pantry for the broken lamp. Then he went back into Arielle’s bedroom. Between them, Wyatt, Elliott and Michael managed to get the mess cleaned up before anybody could step in it and cause a real medical emergency. In the usual division of labor, Teddy watched the other men work while he held the lady’s hand. Ed had gone quietly back to his room.

  In the kitchen, while we had these moments alone, I said to Lily, “I’ll sit up with her. I don’t think I can get back to sleep anyway.”

  “That’s not fair,” she said immediately. “I’ll stay with you.”

  “No. Listen: I want you to take a look around the kitchen when everything quiets down; see if you can find any more evidence of potions and voodoo dolls – whatever it was you saw her doing. If she notices, I’ll tell her you’re trying to see where things are so we can prepare breakfast.”

  “Gotcha,” she said. “Good thinking.”

  “I’m going to be doing the same thing in her bedroom, once I’m sure she’s asleep.”

  Lily got a scared look on her face and said, “Don’t. You see what she’s like. Don’t do anything to set her off.”

  I started to argue, but Wyatt and Elliott were coming out of Arielle’s room by then. I looked Wyatt up and down and said, “Spiderman? I knew you had superpowers, of course . . . .”

  He grinned down at his pajama bottoms. “My boy Kyle likes him. We got matching sets for Christmas.”