Navy SEAL Series Boxed Set

by Odette Stone

  My eyes looked wide and a bit wild. I was pregnant. A baby was growing inside of me. Jackson’s baby. I put my face in a towel and muffled a scream. I wanted a family, but not like this. I didn't want to trap the love of my life into something that he didn’t want. Every single time I had asked Jackson about kids he had been resolute that he did not want them.

  I tried to imagine his reaction if I walked downstairs and told him what the doctor had told me. I had a terrible vision of him turning around and walking out of the loft. I would be left here alone. By myself.

  My nostrils flared in fear. I feared to be alone right now. I needed to keep my mouth shut. At least a little bit longer. At least until tomorrow. Tonight Jackson would be here for me. I needed him. I needed his safe presence. I would still be pregnant tomorrow. I would tell him then. Surely one day wouldn’t make a difference.

  He started to cook an omelet. I slid onto one of the stools around the island and watched him. His jeans were dry. I remembered him standing behind me in the shower with his jeans.

  “Did you use the dryer?”

  He looked over his shoulder at me, an amused expression on his face. “Is that okay?”

  My head bobbed. “Totally okay.”

  He chopped up a salad and then drizzled my favorite dressing on it before sliding it in front of me with a fork.

  “Aren’t you eating?”

  “Already ate.”

  My appetite was ravenous. I couldn’t get that salad into my mouth fast enough. He put the omelet in front of me and then sat across from me.

  “Have you been eating enough?” he watched me eat.

  “Yeah, why?”

  “You look like you’ve lost some weight.”

  “It’s been busy.”

  He looked around. “Where is Irene staying?”

  I swallowed. “She’s checked into the hotel across from the hospital. She was finding the commute back and forth too strenuous.”

  I didn’t mention that since she had turned her back on Jackson, our relationship had been on the frosty side.

  His big arms crossed over his hard chest. He nodded. “What else?”

  I glanced up at him. “What do you mean?”

  “Is everything okay with you and Matt?”

  My eyes dropped to my plate. “I needed some space.”

  “Your phone has been dinging all day.”

  I breathed in hard through my nostrils. “We had a fight, and I was avoiding him and Irene. And then today happened.”

  “You should text him and let him know you are okay.”

  I shrugged. “Maybe.”

  I didn’t want to think about Matt or Irene. Those two people had consumed every moment of my life for weeks. They had taken over my small world. I just needed a break from them both.

  A yawn overtook me.

  He stood up and held out his hand. “Time to go back to bed.”

  I let him lead me back upstairs. “I don’t know why I'm still tired.”

  He watched as I pulled off some clothes and then climbed back into bed. I stared up at him. My heart ached so much. He looked down at me. I was afraid that he would leave.

  “Can you lie down with me?” my voice sounded small.

  For one long moment, I thought he would refuse. Then he grabbed his t-shirt and pulled it over his head. “Move over.”

  I scooted over, and I watched as he kicked off his jeans. Then he climbed into bed beside me.

  “Roll over,” his voice was low.

  I curled up on my side, my back to him. A giant arm snaked around my waist, and then he tugged me back against him, so my back was flush against his warm torso. He curved his huge body against mine, so I was lying in a warm Jackson cocoon.

  I sighed and snuggled my head into the pillow. He pushed my hair away from my neck and then I felt his hot breath against my skin.

  “Did you lock the door?” I mumbled.

  “You’re safe. You can sleep.”

  And with those words in my ears, I drifted into a dark, peaceful abyss.

  Chapter 45

  The harsh light of day hurt my eyes. I woke alone in bed. Disoriented, I sat up. Memories of the day before washed over me. Getting attacked. Pregnant. Being taken care of by Jackson. Falling asleep in his arms.

  I staggered my stiff body to the bathroom and peered in the mirror. Hot and puffy eyes looked back at me. The swelling around my lip had subsided, but the bruises on my neck seemed more pronounced. I looked closer. I could almost see fingerprints on my neck. I shuddered. If Jackson hadn’t saved me, I would've been murdered yesterday.

  Today I needed to end it with Matt, and I needed to come clean with Jackson about the baby. I dropped my face into my hands. I dreaded both tasks.

  I showered and made my way downstairs. A bowl of cut fruit waited on the island. A note from Jackson stated that he had taken Chloe for a walk. My phone rested next to the note.

  Twenty text messages from Matt. He was sorry. He wanted to talk. Was I okay?

  I stared into space for a long moment. I had no desire to see Matt or Irene today.

  I texted him back.

  Me: Sorry. I should've texted you yesterday. I just needed some space.

  Matt: Please come see me today. I need to talk to you.

  Me: Okay

  I heard two sets of footsteps on the stairs. The door clattered as it slid open. Chloe ran towards me at full tilt.

  “Chloe,” I said, feeling joy. She planted both of her front paws on my legs, smiling her dog smile while I rubbed her face.

  Jackson walked towards us. He assessed me.

  I assessed him back. He looked serious and pensive.

  “How are you feeling?”

  I nodded. “Good.”

  The truth was I was slightly queasy, but I did feel well rested.

  He nodded and walked into the kitchen. I spun around in my seat and watched as he poured himself a glass of water.

  “You want to talk about yesterday?”

  I shook my head. “Not yet.”

  “At some point, you're going to need to.”

  I couldn’t talk about it until I could think about it. And right now it was buried so deep in my brain behind all the other things I didn’t want to think about. I was barely conscious of it being there.

  “Not today.”

  He sipped his drink and watched as I picked up my fork and slowly ate my fruit. The silence between us hung heavy. I could tell that something was up.

  “You’re leaving,” I blurted out, voicing my greatest fear.

  “I have to fly back to Virginia for a couple of days. There's an arbitration that I'm required to attend.”

  My heart hardened into a chunk of ice. He was leaving.

  “For your job?”

  “Yes.”

  “Are you coming back?”

  “I still have my outpatient program to finish.”

  I blinked at the frustration in his voice. “Jackson, why are you an outpatient? Are you sick?”

  He snorted. “It’s just a bullshit mandatory process.”

  I sensed that today was not the day that I should bring up the baby. Giddy relief washed over that. I could avoid that conversation for another day. “You don’t seem that impressed.”

  “It’s part of my obligatory COA that I need to do before they let me back into operations.”

  “You have to do this before they let you work?”

  He crossed his thick arms. “Yup.”

  I had no idea what that meant or why it was happening, but I sensed that he was at the end of his patience on the matter. “When do you get back?”

  He switched gears. “Are you going to see Matt today?”

  I shrugged.

  “How’s he doing?”

  “Well, he’s able to walk for at least 5 minutes at a time. He hasn’t been sleeping all that good, but I'm told that’s part of his brain being hurt. The doctor said it would get better with time. He’s lost weight, but his appetite is good.”
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  “Has his memory come back?”

  “Not yet.”

  “So he remembers nothing of the past five months?”

  “No. He’s really sensitive about his memory loss which the doctors also said is normal. The doctor told me not to talk about our broken engagement because they don’t want him to become agitated or upset.”

  “So he doesn’t remember cheating on you or breaking up with you.”

  “No.”

  “Does that mean he thinks you are still engaged?”

  I chewed on my lip. “Yes.”

  Silence hung between us.

  His voice sounded low and ridiculously gentle. “How are you doing with all of this?”

  “It’s weird to pretend that nothing has happened and not talk about it.”

  He didn’t speak.

  I tried again. “It doesn’t feel real but…”

  “But you can’t get honest about it because you aren’t supposed to.”

  “Yes.”

  He looked around the loft. “You should move into your granny’s place while I'm gone. I don’t like you being out here alone when I'm gone.”

  He would only be here for a few more weeks, and then he would be gone for good. “Okay.”

  “My flight leaves in four hours. Why don’t you pack up and I'll help you move your bags.”

  Jackson took out the garbage and loaded Chloe’s stuff into my car, while I put together a bag for myself. It would be weird to be back at the penthouse, but I looked forward to it. That place felt more like home than the loft did. After my granny had died, I couldn’t bear to be there, but now it might comfort me while Jackson was gone.

  Jackson followed so close behind my car, I could only see the enormous grill of his truck in my review mirror. How much patience did he require to follow so slowly behind me? That was the difference between us. I did a three-point check before I changed lanes. I was cautious and held my steering wheel at two and ten. He barely kept his hands on the steering wheel, much less his eyes on the road. He drove his truck like a bat out of hell. Jackson thumbed danger in the face. I lived to stay safe. I found his courage wildly intoxicating.

  He carried my bags up to the penthouse and then I sat on the couch and waited for him to pack his bags.

  He reappeared a few moments later, and my heart stuttered in my chest. He looked like a soldier with his grey and white military fatigues. A faded military grade baseball cap was pulled low over his eyes. He seemed impossibly tough.

  My heart slammed into my chest. Fear seized my throat, making it tough for me to speak. “Are you going to fight?”

  He snorted in amusement. “I wish. My flight is military. No civilian dress on those flights.”

  I let out a big pent-up breath. “Oh.”

  He picked up his black duffle bag that I knew from experience weighed more than I did. A terrible feeling that he wouldn’t return crushed my chest.

  “You’re coming back right?” I sounded like a lovesick teenager in angst. But I couldn’t stop myself from asking.

  “I'll be back on Friday.”

  I stood up and anxiously wiped my hands on my pants. I wanted to launch myself at him, but instead, I stood there and memorized every inch of him. The way his long hair licked up beneath his hat. His big black watch that wrapped around his thick wrist. The shape of his eyes that were shaded by his hat. The hard angular planes of his face. The thickness of his corded neck. The man was absolutely massive.

  My hand pressed against my stomach. And this giant of a man had planted his seed inside of me. I broke out in a sweat and swayed on my feet. I was about as petite as one could get. I had a faint thought that this baby might kill me coming out if it took after it’s father.

  His eyes narrowed. “Are you okay?”

  “Oh, yeah. Totally.” I lied through my teeth.

  He frowned and looked at me.

  I worked to school my expression. “Have a good flight.”

  We stared at each other. Finally, he nodded curtly and then turned and was gone.

  Chapter 46

  I was walking towards Matt’s room when Irene appeared out of nowhere and grabbed my arm.

  “Where were you?”

  Even though I had done my best to cover the bruises with makeup, I instinctively touched my neck.

  “Hi, Irene.”

  Her eyes bore into me. “Thanks to you, Matt had two difficult nights. What did I tell you about not upsetting him?”

  I swallowed the fear down my throat. I had spent an entire hour practicing telling Matt that we could no longer get married. If he couldn’t handle me going missing for a day and a half, how would he take this news?

  "The doctors are worried about the blood vessels in his brain. Remember that," she hissed.

  I hated this. How long would I be trapped in this charade?

  I folded. “I promise I won’t upset him.”

  In his room, Matt flirted with a cute nurse.

  “Hey, there's my girl,” his smile brightened when I walked into the room.

  I pasted a smile on my face. “Hey there.”

  By some unspoken consent, Matt and I did not broach the subject of Jackson or the penthouse. Nor did I mention that I had gotten attacked the day before. I certainly didn’t mention that I had moved into the penthouse. Instead, we chatted about non-events, like how his roommate had gone home, and how the fire alarm had gone off twice yesterday. He also mused that he thought we should add ten people to the guest list for our wedding.

  Each night I returned alone to the penthouse. To make myself feel better, I alternated between lying on top of both Jackson’s bed and my granny’s. I practiced countless renditions of telling Matt that it was over and telling Jackson that I was pregnant with his child. I barfed two mornings in a row. I made an appointment to see my GP, and the rest of the time I sat listlessly on the patio lost in my thoughts.

  The shock of being pregnant wore off and the reality set in. Every conversation that Jackson had told me that he didn’t want children, I replayed in my head. I looked for any faint clue that he might have been on the fence about the subject and came back to the conclusion that he was certain that he did not want kids. He did not want a family. He did not want a wife.

  Financially, the baby and I would have no problems, but the more I contemplated being a single mom, the more scared I got. How was I going to cope? How would I make all those scary decisions myself? I could barely take care of myself, so why did I think I could take care of a child?

  I was sure that Jackson would want nothing to do with us. And I was even more certain that the moment he found out, he would disappear. It was an understatement to say that I dreaded telling him.

  I told no one. Instead, I went back, day after day, to the hospital and pretended that I was the happy and blissful fiancée of Matt. I chatted about the wedding with him. Watched TV with him in the big chair beside his bed. I wheeled him down to the cafeteria for lunch one day and dinner the next. The rest of the time I mentally counted down to Friday, the day that Jackson would return.

  On Friday, I spent an inordinate amount of time on my hair and make-up. I even put on a skirt. Jackson hadn't indicated when his flight was, so I procrastinated going to the hospital hoping that he would show up before I left.

  Finally, mid-afternoon, I headed to the hospital. Matt’s door was propped open, and I could hear laughter. Matt and Irene. Tension left my shoulders. If both of them were in a good mood, it would mean that we'd have a good day.

  I stepped into the room and stopped short. Jackson sat on the chair beside Matt's bed, and Irene perched on the end of Matt’s bed. Matt, unaware of my arrival, laughed at something.

  Only Jackson saw me. His gaze flicked to me, but he smiled at Matt’s story. I swallowed as I noticed the faded jeans that hugged his hips so perfectly and a basic grey t-shirt stretched over his chest. I think my heart was trying to pound out of my chest.

  Had I stepped into some alternative universe? How was it
possible that Jackson was included back into the family fold when they had shunned him a couple of weeks ago?

  Matt turned his head, and his smile was huge. “Emily.”

  My face felt frozen in shock. “Hi.”

  Irene avoided my glance, but Jackson pinned me with his green gaze.

  “I had the most amazing idea,” Matt said, waving me over. “You’re going to love it.”

  “Don’t keep me in suspense.”

  “I know you're stressing about walking up the aisle by yourself and then I had the most brilliant idea. I asked Jackson, and he agreed.”

  I gave Matt a double take. “He agreed to what?”

  “Jackson agreed to walk you down the aisle.”

  I stared dumbly at the group. My first instinct was to flee. I physically had to restrain myself from backing out of the room. “He did?”

  “I, for one, think it’s a brilliant idea. Nothing would thrill me more,” Irene jumped in.

  I turned my stupid expression to her. “You do?”

  “Look at her face, look how much I surprised her,” Matt laughed. “This is priceless.”

  My numb lips barely moved. “How did this come about?”

  “I texted Jackson and asked him. He immediately wrote back and said yes. And the rest is history. Did you know that he was in Virginia this week?”

  My throat worked convulsively to swallow. “You don’t say.”

  I looked at Jackson, and he stared back at me, his expression blank.

  “Come on. We’ve been waiting for you to show up. We want to go down to the cafeteria to grab dinner.”

  Irene rushed to get the wheelchair while Matt unsteadily got to his feet. Jackson stood up, and Matt reached out to grab his arm. With his recent weight loss, Matt looked diminutive next to Jackson’s huge frame.

  I watched as Jackson wheeled Matt down to the cafeteria. It was a weird de ja vu moment. Matt talked a mile a minute, and Jackson listened silently. Matt laughed as Jackson dipped the wheelchair back and tilted it, so he was riding on only one wheel.