Just Beyond the Clouds

by Karen Kingsbury

  The ring of Cody’s cell phone stopped him cold. He took the wheel with his left hand, grabbed the phone, and flipped it open. “Hello?”

  Elle couldn’t hear the caller’s response, but all at once the tension seemed to leave Cody’s body. “Thank You, God . . .” He paused. “We’re close. Maybe five minutes.”

  “He’s at the center?” Elle leaned closer, her voice a whisper.

  Cody nodded. “Okay . . . yes, we’re on our way.” He snapped the phone shut and set it on the seat. Then, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, he took hold of her hand as he sucked in a long breath. “He’s safe.”

  Elle couldn’t respond. The feel of Cody’s hand in hers burned all the way up her arm, screaming at her to let go. Never mind the high stakes, or how differently things might’ve turned out. Regardless of the emotion of the past hour, Cody was married. Holding his hand made her the worst of women.

  But in that moment she couldn’t let go of his hand if her life depended on it. Elle worked to find her voice. “How . . . how did they find him?”

  Cody didn’t seem to notice her struggle. He focused on the road ahead, and when it was safe he flipped a U-turn. “I guess he boarded a bus and showed the driver your card. Told the guy he wanted to go to the center.” Cody glanced at her. Relief shone in his eyes. “He must’ve gotten confused between buses.” He ran his thumb along the side of her hand. The worry was back in his voice. “He had a seizure just as a police officer found him.”

  Let go of his hand, Elle told herself. But his touch was intoxicating. “He had a seizure?”

  “The officer helped him through it. He’s with my mom in the parking lot of the center.”

  Elle tried to picture Carl Joseph on a bus by himself, trying to make a connection without any of the tools or help he was used to. And if he had a seizure, how come the officer hadn’t taken him to the hospital? She still had questions, but they would be answered in a minute or so when they reached the center. All of them but one.

  Why was she still holding the hand of a married man?

  CODY WAS INTENTLY aware of Elle’s presence beside him, the faint smell of her perfume, and the way her hand felt in his. In the past hour the underlying connection he’d been feeling toward her, the attraction, had all but consumed him. Even so, while he was still frantic to find Carl Joseph, he didn’t dare act on it, didn’t consider taking her hand.

  Now though, in his relief, he had the overwhelming desire to pull over and take Elle in his arms, hold her, and thank her for caring about Carl Joseph the way she did. But the idea was only a crazy passing thought. Elle seemed uncomfortable, and little wonder. With Carl Joseph’s accident, he had never had a chance to tell her how she’d succeeded. How much he believed in her work now that he’d seen it for himself.

  In some ways, she must’ve still seen him as the enemy.

  He released her hand as they pulled into the parking lot. His mother was parked in the front row, and Cody took the spot beside her. He turned off the engine and let his head fall back against his seat. “I didn’t think it would matter.”

  “What?” She took hold of the door handle.

  He turned so he could see her. “Praying.” Awe filled his heart, his soul. “I prayed from the moment I heard he was missing, and it worked.”

  She smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Praying always works.” Her tone was sad, resigned. “Even if sometimes we don’t like the answer.” She opened the door. “I have to get back inside.” She glanced past him to Carl Joseph. “Bring him inside before you go?”

  Cody searched her eyes. He didn’t want to upset things any more than he already had. “You sure?”

  “Yes.” She stepped out, but her eyes held his. “Daisy misses him.” She hesitated. “A lot. She’s become a different person without Carl Joseph.”

  “All right.” He opened his door. “Give us a few minutes.”

  Elle nodded and then she hurried back inside the center. Cody watched her go, and he realized he’d been holding his breath. She had that effect on him—and there was no denying it. But even with his lack of experience he could easily read her.

  She wasn’t interested.

  He climbed out and knocked on Carl Joseph’s car door.

  His brother jerked around and his eyes grew wide. He flung his door open, hurried out. Then, all at once, shame and sorrow seemed to hit him. “I’m sorry, Brother. ’Cause I didn’t ask first.” Carl Joseph shook his head, his mouth hanging open as if he couldn’t find the right words. He pushed his glasses back into place. “I’m so, so sorry.”

  Cody couldn’t take another moment. He pulled his brother into his arms and held him tight. “Buddy . . . I’m so glad you’re okay.” The hug lasted a long time, and when Cody released him, he put his hands on Carl Joseph’s shoulders and stared straight into his eyes. “This wasn’t your fault, Buddy. I never should’ve left you.”

  “No.” Carl Joseph shook his head, a little at first and then more strongly. “No, ’cause the driver said, ‘You okay, pal?’ and I told him yes and then I wasn’t sure to cross that way.” He pointed straight ahead. Then he pointed out to the side, “Or that way. And so no, Brother, it isn’t your fault.”

  Their mom was out of the car now. She came up and put her arms around both of them. “Did Elle say we could stop in?”

  “Yes.” Cody wasn’t sure what was going to happen next for Carl Joseph. He wanted to hear more about his seizure, and another doctor’s visit was already set up for tomorrow morning. His mom had told him that much when she called. But for now, they needed to get inside because that’s what his buddy wanted.

  Badly enough that he’d risked his life to get here.

  The three of them walked toward the center door. Through the window they could hear the sounds of swing music and happy laughter. Clearly the students had been spared news of the ordeal.

  “I’ll get it.” Carl Joseph seemed slower than usual, but he stepped in front of Cody and their mother and held open the door.

  A swing dance session was in full progress inside. All except for Daisy. Carl Joseph’s friend was sitting at an art table in the far corner of the room, alone. Cody’s heart sank. Daisy was the most sociable student in the class. Her solitary behavior could be caused by only one thing.

  Elle looked over, and immediately her face lit up. “Carl Joseph!” She smiled and hurried toward him. All signs of the regret and sorrow she’d shown earlier were gone. She took Carl Joseph into her arms and hugged him. “Are you okay?”

  “I am now.” He grinned at Elle and then at the students, who were one at a time stopping and turning toward him. “I wanted to come here really bad. ’Cause here’s where I get my goal one day. Where I grow up like a man.” He moved closer to Elle and lowered his voice to what he must’ve thought was a whisper. “I can’t grow up around Brother.”

  Elle shot a sympathetic look at Cody.

  Cody wanted to shout at both of them that he was on their side. But it wasn’t the time. Besides, he was still stinging from Carl Joseph’s words, playing them again in his mind. I can’t grow up around Brother. No wonder Carl Joseph had been difficult the last few weeks.

  Carl Joseph was going on about how happy he was to be back. “I missed this place bad, Teacher!” Carl Joseph nodded fast. “Really bad.”

  “That’s for sure.” Their mother looked exhausted, but she was smiling. She leveled her eyes at Elle. “Thank you . . . for everything.”

  Elle’s smile softened. She patted Carl Joseph’s shoulder just as someone turned off the music. A chorus of voices began talking all at once, the students calling Carl Joseph’s name and clapping their hands. Elle raised her voice so she could be heard over the noise. “Your classmates have missed you. Especially one of them.”

  Carl Joseph laughed, the loud lovable open-mouthed laugh Cody hadn’t heard around the house since the accident. “D-A-I-S-Y!”

  “Yes, that’s the one.” Elle led the way to the back of
the classroom.

  Cody was drained from the scare. He hung back with his mother while Elle linked arms with Carl Joseph and walked him to the students. It took a few seconds, but a chain reaction started.

  Gus covered his mouth with both hands and then slid them along the side of his face to the top of his head. He danced in a circle and raised both arms high. “Carl Joseph is back!” He looked at the others and motioned for them to follow. “Carl Joseph is back, everybody!” He ran toward Carl Joseph so fast he tripped. Three other students helped him up, and just like that, Cody watched his brother become surrounded by the support of his friends.

  Sid frowned at Carl Joseph. “You should never go that long without coming to class.” But after a few seconds, he smiled, too. “Never again, Carl Joseph.”

  Some of the students were jumping in place, clapping and laughing and talking all at the same time.

  “We have a new bus route! You have to know the new bus route.”

  “Look at my haircut, Carl Joseph. Hair-cutting is a life skill!”

  “We cooked asparagus, so now you can cook asparagus if you want asparagus.”

  Those who weren’t shouting came up and patted Carl Joseph’s back. A few of them thanked him. “Finally our class is together again.” Tammy swung her long braids one way and then the other. “Thank you for coming back, Carl Joseph!”

  Only then did Cody see Daisy. She had left the art table, and now she was walking up to the group. Her mouth hung open, and tears streamed down her face. At the same time, Carl Joseph seemed to take inventory of the faces around him, and he must’ve realized who was missing. In a sudden frantic burst of motion he made one half turn and then another, until finally he saw her coming closer. He smiled bigger than Cody had seen since he’d been home.

  “Daisy . . .” He parted the circle of friends and ran to her, arms outstretched, big oaflike steps, all the way across the room.

  But Daisy didn’t run to meet him. She hung her head and kept crying, stifling quiet sobs as Carl Joseph made his way to her. Cody and his mother drew nearer so they could hear.

  “Daisy, what’s wrong?” Carl Joseph put his hand on her shoulder. “I’m here now.”

  “You . . . left me.” Her words were hard to understand through her deep emotion. She looked up and her nose was red, her cheeks wet. “I didn’t know where you were. Even when it rained.”

  Carl Joseph’s eyes grew wide and his lips parted. Cody understood the shock and regret in his expression. He had let his friend down and he felt terrible, wracked with guilt. He released a quiet gasp. “I’m sorry, Daisy. I wanted to be here. I did.”

  She seemed to grow calmer in light of his explanation, but still there was something in her expression. Hurt and betrayal. And it was then that Cody felt the pain of Carl Joseph’s last several weeks worst of all. What had they done, keeping him away from the center? Away from Daisy and Elle and Gus and everyone here?

  Elle caught his eye. Then, dabbing at her own cheeks, she approached him and his mother. “I know you don’t agree, but”—she looked at Carl Joseph and Daisy—“he belongs here.” She hesitated, clearly struggling with her emotion. “He needs this.”

  Their mother looked at Carl Joseph, at the way he had both his hands on Daisy’s shoulders now, how he was looking straight into her eyes, trying to convince her that he hadn’t meant to be gone, that he had missed her as much as she missed him. The wounded look in Daisy’s eyes was fading. She gave Carl Joseph the slightest smile. Mary touched her fingers to her throat and turned her attention back to Elle. “You’re right.” Her voice cracked. “But his health . . . I don’t know how we can do it.”

  The other students made their way over to Daisy and Carl Joseph. By then Daisy was smiling, and Carl Joseph was doing a silly dance trying to make her laugh.

  “Please, Mrs. Gunner. I know of other doctors you can talk to.” She swallowed, as if she didn’t want to overstep her bounds. “Please consider it.”

  His mom seemed overwhelmed by the idea. But she nodded. “We will.”

  Cody could’ve kissed Elle Dalton right there. That was the answer! Another doctor, one who was more open to advancements for sick people with Down Syndrome. He didn’t say anything, because he couldn’t. He was too mesmerized by the young teacher standing there, talking to his mother.

  Before they left, Cody pulled Elle aside. “Thank you.” He studied her. Something in her eyes closed off whenever they were close like this. He swallowed a ripple of frustration. “For helping me look, but also for caring.”

  “Of course.” She took a step back and motioned to her students. “I need to go. Maybe . . . maybe we’ll see Carl Joseph sometime soon.”

  “Maybe.” He wanted to ask her what was wrong, but he resisted. “My parents . . . They have a meeting with his doctor tomorrow.”

  “Well, then . . . I guess, have them call me.” She gave him a professional smile. Then she returned to her students.

  On the way home that afternoon, while Carl Joseph rattled on about Daisy and Gus and Sid and Teacher, Cody couldn’t stop thinking about Elle. His feelings weren’t caused only by her eyes or the way he felt when he was near her. More than that, it was her love for her students. Her dedication and concern for Carl Joseph. In the hour they’d spent together looking for his brother, she’d taken hold of Cody’s heart with an intensity he’d known just one other time in his life. He didn’t have to wonder about his feelings for Elle Dalton, not anymore. Today they were as clear as the sky over Colorado Springs. There was only one problem, and it consumed him the rest of the day and into the evening. He’d left a first impression bigger than Pike’s Peak.

  And now—no matter what he tried—he wasn’t sure there was any way around it.

  Chapter Twenty

  The appointment with the specialist brought more bad news.

  When the three of them got home from Denver that evening, Cody’s father found him out back in the barn and told him the details. An MRI proved that a degeneration was happening in Carl Joseph’s brain. He would be prone to more and stronger seizures, and worse, he was at high risk for a stroke.

  “Between that and his heart disease, he might not have long. A few years. Five, maybe.” His father’s eyes were red and swollen. “So we’ve made our decision. Carl Joseph has to stay here, where we can care for him.” His dad took a quick breath and looked up, fighting a wave of emotion. When he had more control, he searched Cody’s eyes. “We want to talk to Elle about having him visit the center. Maybe once a week.”

  Cody reached out and steadied himself against the nearest wall. This couldn’t be happening, not to Carl Joseph. Losing Ali was enough loss for a lifetime. They couldn’t give up, couldn’t simply accept the diagnosis when maybe there was something they could do. He swallowed his disbelief and let his hands fall to his sides. “Elle says she knows another doctor . . .”

  “The tests don’t lie, Cody.” His father gave a sad shake of his head and then moved toward the barn door. “I’m going back inside. Your mother’s having a hard time.”

  When he was gone, Cody tried to draw a full breath, but he couldn’t. His one lung fought against the news, against the shock ripping through him. So that was it? Carl Joseph was doomed? There had to be another answer, a way for his buddy to accomplish the goal that mattered so much to him.

  The one Carl Joseph didn’t think he could reach working alongside Cody.

  There was only one place Cody could take all the feelings crowding his heart. Out to the fields with Ace. He hadn’t been on the horse in three days, too caught up with Carl Joseph to find even an hour to ride. Now he straightened and adjusted his baseball cap, saddled the horse, and climbed on.

  “Let’s go, Ace.” He blinked back tears. “I need you to run today.”

  A warm wind blew over his parents’ ranch, and it carried with it memories of everything that was gone from his life. Everything that would never be again. His days of bull riding, and his time on the rodeo circuit, and Ali
. He breathed deep and peered at the still blue sky. He stopped and let his sadness come to the surface.

  He walked Ace out to the trailhead. June evenings in Colorado Springs were always beautiful and this one was no exception. It was eight o’clock and he still had half an hour before sunset. The old horse was still as strong and proud and faithful as he’d been when Ali rode him at one barrel-racing event after another, week after week, season after season. The vision of Ali tearing around the barrels on Ace stayed with him still. The way it would forever.

  Cody patted the horse’s neck. “Atta boy, Ace.” He leaned forward and in a sudden rush he shouted, “Giddyup!”

  A strong whinnying came from the horse and Ace set off at a trot that quickly became a full run. The pace fit his mood, made him feel that somehow they could outrun the bad news about Carl Joseph, outrun the ways things had gotten worse for his brother in the weeks since he’d been home.

  Usually, riding like this made him think only of Ali, but not so today. With the wind in his face and Ace pounding out a timeless rhythm beneath him, Cody could only think of his brother and the teacher who had given his buddy a chance to truly live.

  Elle Dalton.

  The sun was making its way toward the mountains, casting that surreal final splash of light against the cactus and shrubs that dotted the back acreage of the property. Cody leaned back and let the rays hit his face, as if the warmth might find its way to the cold dark places of his heart. Gradually, Ace slowed to a walk.

  “So, Ace . . .” He rubbed the horse’s mane. “Carl Joseph, too.”

  The horse took a few steps, then stopped and ate from a patch of grass.

  Carl Joseph was dying. Not today, but soon. Cody stared as far as he could toward the horizon. Carl Joseph, his buddy. The kid who had adored him since he was old enough to crawl. The one who wanted to be a bull rider so he could be a little more like Cody. Dying from something Cody couldn’t understand, let alone help.