Following the Sparrows

by Karen Malley

  “Were you squeezing the bar under the handle when you pulled?” Bill asked.

  Kathryn glanced at the handle. “I didn’t even notice that.”

  “Give it a squeeze and try again.”

  Kathryn did as she was told, and the mower roared to life. Bill shouted over the noise. “Press there, and the mower will move. You follow along, keeping it straight. When you get to the end of the row, let go, turn around, and squeeze again. Good luck!”

  Kathryn squeezed the lever, and the mower jerked through the grass. She followed after it to the other side of the yard, where she managed to turn it around and repeat the process.

  Satisfied, Bill gave her a wave and disappeared back behind the bushes.

  An hour later, with her shoes stained green, the sweat dripping down her back, and the mosquitos feasting on every exposed inch of flesh, she surveyed the yard. The rows weren’t completely straight, and she’d missed a couple of spots, but overall, it looked a lot better. Thank goodness for Bill.

  He appeared around the side of the bushes once more. “Nice job, Miss Kathryn. First time mowing the lawn?”

  She shrugged. “Pretty obvious, I guess. Robert always took care of the lawn.” And the bills, and the grocery shopping, and the cooking.

  “Well, you should be proud of yourself.” Bill gave her an encouraging smile.

  “Thank you. We’ll chalk this up as a win. Now if you’ll excuse me, I am desperately in need of a shower. I’ll return your handkerchief after it’s been washed. I hope Mary feels better.”

  “Me, too. If you need anything, we’re right next door.” Bill ambled to his yard, and Kathryn went inside.

  After cleaning up, Kathryn stood in front of the fridge, the freezer door open. There was enough food here to feed a small army. What had Bill said? His wife wanted to make a meal for her, but she wasn’t well? Guilt was her constant companion since Robert died. It was time to do something about that. She pulled a couple of casseroles from the freezer and put them in a plastic bag. She grabbed some scissors and went back to the yard. A few minutes later, armed with the bag of food and a makeshift bouquet of black-eyed Susans and coneflowers, she walked next door. Bill was still outside, puttering in his garden.

  “Bill?”

  “What do you have there?”

  “You said Mary wasn’t well, so I thought these flowers might lift her spirits. I also brought over a couple of meals. People were kind to me after Robert passed away, and I can’t possibly eat all this food. You and Mary can help me with it.”

  “Well that’s downright sweet of you, young lady. Stands to reason a man as kind-hearted as your Robert would be married to a sweet lady like you. Mary will be thrilled. Won’t you come in and say hello?”

  Kathryn hesitated, but only for a few seconds. “Sure. I’d love to.”

  6

  “Would you like to come over for dinner tonight?” Anne’s friendly voice came through the phone.

  “If it’s not an invitation to church and lunch, it’s an invitation to dinner. You’re getting predictable,” Kathryn said.

  “I want to make sure you’re OK. We haven’t seen you in a month.”

  Kathryn blinked. Could it have been that long? “Sure, Anne. I can come over for dinner. I’d offer to bring something, but I’d be coming straight from work—”

  “No worries. Bring yourself. Dinner is at six.”

  A month. That should be something to celebrate, making it that long. But what was there to celebrate? Working twenty-four seven? Better than being home alone.

  Kathryn headed back into the lab. She still needed to isolate two more reaction products before she could go to Anne and Mark’s, and judging from the time, she’d better get moving. She started a purification and added some data to her lab notebook while it was running. At 5:15, she packed up for the day. She got a few surprised looks as she walked out, since she was usually the last person to leave.

  Anne opened the door with her daughter in her arms, her son tangled in her legs, and the aroma of chocolate chip cookies surrounding her.

  Kathryn inhaled deeply, and life was almost normal. By the smudges on little Ben’s face, it was clear he’d already sampled the cookies. Anne did all the things a wife was supposed to do. All the things Kathryn refused to do or couldn’t.

  “Auntie Katie, Auntie Katie!” squealed little Emma. She reached her pudgy arms to her aunt.

  Kathryn obliged, taking her into her arms. She kissed the top of Emma’s head, breathing in the scent of baby shampoo.

  Ben’s innocent chocolate-stained face gazed up at her. “Is Uncle Robert still in heaven? When is he coming back? Tell him we miss him.”

  Kathryn stared at him, not knowing how to respond.

  “Oh, Ben.” Anne patted his head. “We’ve been through this before. Uncle Robert isn’t coming back from heaven. People don’t come back from heaven.”

  “Jesus did,” Ben said.

  Kathryn blinked. What to say to that?

  “Come check out my worm collection. I dug ‘em all up in the yard. Daddy’s taking me fishing tomorrow.”

  Kathryn laughed. She shifted Emma’s weight and followed Ben into the back yard.

  After dinner, Mark took the kids upstairs to get them ready for bed, leaving Anne and Kathryn alone. Kathryn breathed an audible sigh of relief. She didn’t want to face Mark alone again.

  “I’m worried about you, Katie,” Anne said. “I realize how hard this must be for you, and I’m glad you finally agreed to come tonight. We’ve missed you. How are you doing?”

  Anne meant well. Maybe it was time to let someone in. “Do you really want to know?”

  Anne nodded.

  “Robert was a wonderful man and I miss him. I’ve been spending all my time at work to avoid the lonely house. The thing is, though, part of me is…” She glanced at Anne, afraid to continue.

  “Go ahead, part of you is what?”

  “It sounds terrible, but sometimes I’m relieved.”

  Anne’s eyes grew wide. Kathryn hurried on. “I’m not glad Robert’s gone. I don’t mean that. It’s just that I never measured up to being the wife Robert deserved. It’s hard to explain.”

  “It’s OK, Katie. I’m not judging you,” Anne said.

  “He grew up being a part of this perfect family, and now you and Mark have the perfect family. I’m not like you, Anne. I can’t bake cookies or invent games with the kids. You guys are always laughing and hugging. Robert spent more time here than he did at home.”

  Anne put her hand on Kathryn’s arm. “We’re definitely not perfect. You were always invited to come too. He only came here without you when you were at work.”

  Kathryn looked down. “I realize that. I’m not blaming him for wanting to be here. We weren’t as close as you and Mark. I must’ve been a big disappointment as a wife.” She leaned back against the sofa. “That’s part of why I spent so much time at work. It was easier. I kept putting off having children because I didn’t want a child growing up with parents who never understood each other. I’m not qualified to be a mother anyway. I’ve never been good enough for Robert, or for your family.” Kathryn quietly added “or for God.” Her cheeks warmed. She hadn’t meant for all that to come out.

  “Oh, Katie. Robert loved you for who you are, and so do we. And as for God, no one measures up to Him. That’s why we need a Savior. The reason why you and Robert never connected the way Mark and I do is because you’ve never admitted your need for God.” Anne paused for a minute, as if to collect her thoughts.

  “Mark and I are husband and wife, but more importantly, we are brother and sister in Christ. We grieve for Robert, but we will be reunited with him one day, which makes the pain bearable. We’ve all been praying for you for years, that one day we could be sure you would be there too.”

  Kathryn raised her eyebrows. “You’ve been praying for me? I’m not even sure God exists. Why would you do that?”

  “Tell me, Katie. If God doesn’t exist, where
did all this come from? Where did you come from? Yes, you’re a scientist, but do you believe deep in your heart everything in this world formed through random chance?”

  Kathryn paused a moment before replying. “No, I guess not. But you tell me, if there is a loving God, why did he allow Robert to die? He was a good man, always going to church, always doing things for other people.”

  “Death isn’t a bad thing for Robert. He’s in heaven now,” Anne said. “But I understand what you’re saying. The world is not as God intended it. God gave man a choice. At the beginning of creation, man chose to disobey God. As a result, sin and death entered the world. All that’s happened since is a result of a fallen world.”

  “Ok, Anne. I get it. God is important to you and Mark, and God was important to Robert. I’m not sure I need to get involved in all this religious stuff. I’ve done fine without it so far.”

  “Katie, after all you told me about you and Robert, you’re still missing something. Everything you think you’ve done on your own is a gift from God. You’re a bright, hardworking woman, but your mind, your talents, and your abilities, are all gifts from God. There isn’t anything you earned on your own. Yes, you’ve worked hard, and you’ve had some amazing accomplishments, but God has allowed you to do it.”

  With all the years of studying and hard work, Anne was telling her she didn’t earn any of it? No way. Time to go. “Anne, I appreciate the dinner and allowing me to spend time with your family. Thanks for the talk, too, but it’s time for me to go home.”

  Anne sighed and walked her to the door.

  ~*~

  Adam muted the TV, waited, and listened. The faint tapping noise was coming from the hallway. He opened his door. “Mrs. Frederick. Is everything all right? Has Mr. Frederick had another fainting episode?”

  “No, Stanley hasn’t fainted again, but he’s got a terrible cough. Would you be a dear and get him some medicine at the pharmacy? I’m sorry to ask, but I can’t handle driving in the dark the way I used to.”

  Adam looked out the window at the pouring rain, then back at his TV. He groaned inwardly. It was only a preseason game. “Of course, I will. Is there anything else you need?”

  “No, that’s all. Thank you. You’re such a dear boy.” Mrs. Frederick shuffled back across the hallway.

  “Better get it over with,” Adam mumbled to himself. He grabbed an umbrella and braved the storm. It shouldn’t take more than ten minutes to run to the pharmacy in town. He’d be back on his sofa in no time. As he started toward town, he heard a voice in his head.

  “Turn here.” Turn here? “The closest pharmacy is straight ahead. I don’t understand,” Adam argued with the voice.

  “Turn here,” the voice repeated. Adam obeyed, swung to the left, and turned down a road he’d never been on before. A few minutes later, just as he was questioning whether he’d heard a voice at all, he saw a car pulled to the side of the road, hazard lights flashing. He pulled behind the car and saw a figure struggling to remove the left rear tire. She was drenched, and from the looks of it, wasn’t having much luck.

  ~*~

  Kathryn buckled her seatbelt and cursed as the drops began hitting the windshield. She hated driving in the rain. Still, it was better than listening to Anne’s lecture.

  Five minutes later, Kathryn turned the windshield wipers on to the fastest speed, but the deluge was winning the battle. She crept along the highway, squinting between each pass of the wipers. Finally, the exit sign approached on her right. She merged onto the back roads that would ultimately lead into her neighborhood.

  Suddenly a jarring thud caused the whole car to shudder. She pulled over to the shoulder, shifted to park, and climbed out of the car to assess the situation.

  Flat.

  Definitely flat.

  Uggh. She did not need this. She resigned herself to the inevitable and popped the trunk for the jack.

  Twenty minutes later, drenched and exhausted, all but one lug nut was loosened. She forced it with all her strength, but it still wouldn’t budge.

  A set of headlights lit the area, the first car to come this way since she’d stopped. The lights approached slowly, and a dark pick-up truck pulled off to the side of the road behind her. With the lights blinding her, she couldn’t make out the face of the driver as he approached. Should she be relieved or panicked? There was nowhere for her to go. She reached into her pocket and fingered her phone. Her heart pounded in her chest as the tall, broad-shouldered figure towered over her.

  7

  “Can I help you?” Adam asked.

  The woman glanced at Adam, her hair plastered against her face. She looked ready to object, but seemed to realize the hopelessness of her situation. “Yes, please, I can’t seem to get this last lug nut off.” She wiped the hair from her eyes, and with a jolt, Adam recognized her as the same woman he’d bumped into twice already.

  “Well, hello again. Our paths seem to be destined to cross. I’m Adam Harrison. If you hand me the lug wrench, I’ll get you back on the road again.” He handed her his umbrella and got to work on the tire.

  The woman handed over the lug wrench. “Kathryn Baker. I’ve changed tires before, but these lug nuts are tight. If you’d get that last one off for me, I can finish the job myself and you can be on your way.”

  Adam raised his eyebrows. “Not used to asking for help, are you? Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone Kathryn Baker needed something from someone.”

  “What is that supposed to mean?” Kathryn narrowed her eyes, placing her hands on her hips. “Don’t you judge me.”

  Adam lifted his hands in surrender. “Sorry, no offense intended.” He returned the tire while Kathryn held his umbrella over him, her glare boring a hole in the back of his head. He loosened the nut in no time. As he reached for the jack, Kathryn objected. “It’s fine. I can finish it myself.”

  Adam wasn’t about to leave her stranded by the side of the road in the pouring rain, no matter how annoyed she was. “I’m happy to finish the job for you.” He made short work of switching to the spare. Wiping his hands on his pants, he straightened and gave her a crooked grin.

  “Thanks for your help,” she told him, unsmiling.

  Adam cocked his head at her. “It’s no fun getting wet, and it is an annoyance, but at least it didn’t happen on the highway and you were able to pull off to the side safely.”

  “You’re just like Anne. Always trying to find something positive in a bad situation,” Kathryn muttered.

  “Who’s Anne? Sounds like someone you should keep around.”

  “She’s my…sister,” Kathryn said.

  Adam cocked his head at her, but she said nothing more. He replaced the jack in the trunk. “That should do it. Be sure not to drive too fast on the spare, and be careful in this rain. It seems to be coming down even harder, if that’s possible.” He gave her a lopsided grin. “Maybe this flat wasn’t such a bad thing. At least now I’ve discovered the name of the mystery woman who keeps running me over.”

  Kathryn pressed her lips together in a tight line. “Thanks again for your help.” She handed him the umbrella and drove off without another word.

  Well, there she goes. Man, she was adorable with water streaming down her face. Cutest drowned rat I ever saw. Adam watched the taillights until they were no longer visible and drove back into town for the cough medicine.

  “Sorry it took so long, Mrs. Frederick. I had a situation to take care of.”

  Mrs. Frederick’s sparse eyebrows lifted.

  “Her name is Kathryn. I’ll tell you the story tomorrow.”

  Adam crossed over to his apartment, leaving Mrs. Frederick’s imagination running. He switched the TV back on and grabbed some dry clothes.

  Halftime. Figured. He missed the whole second quarter. At least the team was putting forth a good showing. His phone rang.

  “Hey, little bro, how’s it going?”

  “Dave. Nice to hear your voice. Guess you figured I’d be watching the game.”


  “Sure, I’ve got ten minutes to kill. Our boys look great this year.”

  “That’s saying a lot, considering that this year consists of half of a pre-season game.”

  “True. What’s going on down there, little bro? Did you decide whether you’re staying in that hick town?”

  Adam sighed. “I don’t know. I’ve been here three months, and my closest friends are my eighty-year old neighbors.”

  “Oooh. That’s sad. What about the guys from work?”

  “Not a lot in common, as you can imagine.”

  “No, I guess not. So what’s the grand plan?”

  “I wish I understood. The last two years in Africa were great. Building the new wing of the school and working with the children there was the most fulfilled I’ve ever been.”

  “Yeah, but you said yourself you were running away.”

  “I realize that, but I learned a lot while I was there. God’s definitely called me back to the States, but I’m still not sure why.”

  “I’m sure He’ll tell you when He’s good and ready. Keep listening. And remember, I’ve got your back.”

  “Thanks, man. I appreciate it.”

  “That’s what big brothers are for.”

  “I guess I’m glad I have one. Say hi to the rest of the family for me. I’ll call Mom in a couple of days.”

  “Will do. Game’s on. Talk to you soon, bro.”

  Adam tossed the phone on the sofa and unmuted the TV, but he couldn’t focus on the game. His mind wandered back to the encounter on the side of the road. There was something going on with Kathryn, but he couldn’t figure it out. God wanted him to pray for her. That should be enough. Still, she was so feisty, so obviously strong and independent, and cute, for that matter.

  What was he thinking? God wasn’t asking him to pray for her because she was cute. Besides, he wasn’t interested in traveling that road again. Sure, he’d been ready to be married once, but Gina killed that dream. No. He was not going there again.

  8

  Sunday morning, Kathryn woke early for a change. Robert would’ve been delighted and dragged her along to church. She didn’t make it to church very often with her husband, and she wasn’t about to make a habit of going without him. Mark was an excellent preacher, but he was a little too direct for her tastes.