Freedom

by Faith Potts

  I grin, imagining how awful I’m blushing at the moment. “I have it, but I haven’t asked her yet. I’m thinking about doing it after the 5k tomorrow, given I survive without a 911 call.”

  That sets Mom and Callie into fits of laughter. I even saw the slightest smirk on Dad’s lips. Maybe we do have a chance at being a family again.

  “I’m sure you’ll do just fine, bro,” Callie assures me. “And if not, isn’t her brother a doctor?”

  I nod, pocketing my phone. “Kellon works in the ER.”

  Noting he’s returned to his quiet state, I glance over at Dad. I came here for reconciliation. He may have hardly spoken to me since he came in, but I can still reach out to him.

  “How, uh, how did you propose to Mom?”

  He sits there a minute and then looks over at his wife, the slightest hint of a twinkle in his eye. “The night of our high school graduation we went out for ice cream with friends. On the way to her house afterward, I asked her.”

  “There in the car?!” Callie squeals, mouth agape. “That’s actually really cute.”

  “Enough silliness…” Mom insists, winking at me. “Lunch is ready.”

  After lunch and more still-awkward talking, Callie and I need to depart if she’s going to make Amesville by way of Capeton by nightfall. Mom walks us to the door. She hugs Callie and they say their goodbyes, Callie then sprinting out to the car to give us some privacy.

  I wait, expecting a hug myself, but Mom just watches me. “He’ll come around, James. But it’s going to take time.”

  “I know. It’s just discouraging to think that he wouldn’t care if I never came back.”

  “No,” she nearly cuts me off, shaking her head defiantly. “Don’t say that, son. It did my momma heart good to have you two here today.”

  I smile and hug her, holding on a second longer. “Me too, Mom.”

  “Why don’t you bring your girlfriend over for dinner on Sunday?”

  I hesitate, looking over top her head to the house, where somewhere inside Dad remains. “I don’t know. That might be too soon.” Wincing at the hurt in her eyes, I hope to better it with my next words. “Maybe next week.”

  || ~* || ~* || ~* ||

  I clomp up the steps to Alex’s apartment door, victorious on the inside but exhausted on the outside. Who knew facing demons of your past could be so tiring?

  I ring the doorbell and wait to see her pretty face appear on the other side of the glass. She’s there within seconds.

  “Hey, you’re back.” She pushes open the door and comes out onto the stoop with me. Her smile is halfway, hesitant, and her eyes search my face for answers.

  “Yeah, just now.”

  She steps to my side and wraps me in a hug that I gratefully return. “How did things go?” Her voice muffles against my shirt.

  I rub my thumb over her shoulder and press a kiss to her forehead. Has it really only been twelve hours since I last saw her? “Better than I expected, honestly.” I release her with reluctance when she draws back from our embrace. “Want to walk with me?”

  “Sure. Give me just a second.” She disappears into the apartment and returns with sandals and the door key. “Ready.” She smiles at me sweetly, her eyes still asking questions.

  I smile back, aware of how weary I must look.

  As we start down the stairs together, Alex loops her hands through my arm and leans her head against my shoulder. At my side where she’s supposed to be, under my arm where she’s safe. I’ll never get over how good it feels to have her here.

  || ~* || ~* || ~* ||

  || Alex

  We leave the apartment complex and stroll down the sidewalk without talking. James isn’t ready to tell me how it all went yet, but I can be patient. When we reach the entrance to the park, I pull James down the second pathway to the left, the one we usually avoid while running because of some rough terrain. He follows my lead without complaint.

  “So…” I begin, lifting my head from his shoulder once I’m sure no one else is around. “Ready to talk now?”

  “Who said I wasn’t ready?”

  “You weren’t ready when you knocked on my door. You wanted to be, you wanted to tell me right then all about your trip, but you just…needed a bit to think it all over.” I give him a scrutinizing one-eyed squint. “I think you’re ready now.”

  He grins down at me, then grabs my hand and starts toward the footbridge that crosses a small creek which later flows into the river. He motions for me to step up on it ahead of him and I do—but then I turn to make sure he’s all right. That step looks slick.

  Catching my attention on him, James shakes his head, reaching out to reclaim my hand. “You worry too much.”

  “I’m not worrying.”

  “No, you’re not now because I made it.”

  I look away, not about to admit even with my eyes how right he is.

  “Wanna sit?” James gestures down to the footbridge we’re now standing on, railing on one side.

  “Sure. Unless you’d rather walk farther.”

  “Nah, this is a nice spot.” He releases my hand and sinks to his knees.

  I sit next to him after he swings his legs around and hangs his feet off below the railing.

  Propping my chin on the board that’s about chest-height on James, I sigh happily as I watch the water trail lazily by. The stream gurgling beneath the wooden boards and flowing past grassy sandbars and around mossy rocks is quite picturesque.

  James’s arm comes around my waist, nudging me closer to his side, and I have more reason to sigh. To be happy and to be content.

  “I did it, Lex,” he murmurs after a moment of silence.

  “I know.” I draw back to see his face. “You look peaceful.”

  “I feel peaceful,” he says, voice still low. “And you know, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Dad wasn’t exactly hospitable, but he was decent. Mom, Callie, and I had a nice chat. I told her all about you.” He grins at that. “She wants to meet you.”

  I laugh, leaning back into his shoulder, my heart full over his victory. “What exactly did you tell her? Should I be concerned?”

  “Not a bit.”

  I feel his breath in my hair, followed by a tender kiss. A shiver runs down my spine. He really is at peace with his past and his war memories. They aren’t gone, but they’re covered. He’s covered, cloaked in grace and protected under God’s wings.

  || ~* || ~* || ~* ||

  || James

  My heart pounds as Alex scoots closer against my side. Her arms come around my waist and she tucks her face into my shoulder.

  “I’m so proud of you,” she whispers, the babble of the stream a peaceful backdrop. “You faced those doubts.”

  I smile, snuggling my face into her hair until she giggles and squirms out of my embrace. “Oh stop it, James. Those people are watching us.”

  I laugh, kissing her cheek as I release her. “What people?”

  “Oh, just Uncle Joe and Kellon and—”

  I am so dead. “What?” I whirl around and look toward the park behind us. An elderly lady walks by with a couple lap dogs—but there isn’t another man in sight.

  “Not funny, Lil’ Miss Therapist.”

  “Made ya look,” she taunts, wiggling her eyebrows and jumping up from her seat.

  I groan. This means I’m expected to chase her. After getting to my feet, I hop down from the bridge and hurry after her. I catch her underneath a massive weeping willow and snag her around the waist. She laughs as I pull her back against my chest.

  A moment later, she squirms around to hug me, arms around my waist. “I know I already said this, but… I’m so proud of the progress you’ve made, James.”

  I lay my cheek on her head, rocking us side to side. “It’s all thanks to you and God, Lex. You’ve kept me going when I wanted to give up.”

  “Nonsense,” she mumbles, wiping at her face when she thinks I’m not looking. “You would have been just fine without me.”
/>
  “No…without you I would be dead right now.”

  Her head jerks up, colliding with my chin. My teeth slam together and I bite back a groan, my arm falling from her waist.

  “Sorry?” she offers, squinting up at me and rubbing the top of her head. “You okay?”

  “Yeah, fine.” I rotate my jaw back and forth, checking to be sure all my teeth are there.

  She glances up at me then, head and chin forgotten. “Would you really have gone through with it? Either time?”

  I swallow, nodding. “I honestly think I would have. I didn’t feel like I would be of any good to anyone. Figured I was a worthless, helpless burden and—”

  “Stop.” She claps her hand over my mouth. “Don’t say those ugly words around me. We’re all filthy and worthless, James. But you’re redeemed. Clothed in His righteousness.”

  I blink in fast succession, impacted by her words. God accepts me as His child, and Lex accepts me as the man she loves.

  I kiss the palm still slapped across my mouth, nudging a small smile from my girl. Her hand falls to her side but still she watches me, with eyes that are serious and sparkling.

  I rub my tongue across my lips as my palms grow sweaty. I didn’t plan on doing this tonight—not when I’ve only memorized half of what I want to say to her and I don’t even have the jewelry box in my pocket. But that look in her eye…

  I know I’m likely to cause her more hurt in this life, and yet I want to be with her. I want the chance to be her life partner, to hold her up when she is down and be upheld by her when I can’t go on.

  “Lex, I…I need to tell you something.”

  Her eyes widen, head cocking. “Okay.”

  Without breaking our gaze, I fumble to take her hand. “If anyone knows about my injury, it’s you, Lex. You know where my limitations are nearly as well as I do myself.”

  “O…kay. But I don’t see what that—”

  I squeeze her fingers, cutting her off. “Just let me finish. Please. I’ve got a lot to say.”

  She nods, befuddlement swirling in the depths of her eyes.

  “I’ll always be hobbling around with this prosthetic. I’ll never have a job that requires two hands or much manual labor.” I pause before spilling forth the part that’s bothering me the most. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to pick up or hold a child with only one arm. Holding you that way, it… Well, it isn’t very romantic.” I stroke my hand across her soft, damp cheek. Damp? Why is she crying?

  “Who needs romance?” she murmurs, blinking until the tears disperse.

  “You do.” I pull her closer and kiss her forehead. “You deserve to be swept away.”

  “I have been swept away.” She places her hands on my face, cupping my cheeks in her palms. “I love you, James…for who you are.”

  Who you are. Not who I was—whether that be before Afghanistan or before Christ—but who I am. “Then…”

  She eyes me carefully. “Then what?”

  I clear my throat, heart thudding. “I love you, Lex.” I press a second kiss to her forehead, stalling for time.

  She chuckles. “You’re going to wear a hole in my forehead before you figure out what you’re trying to say.”

  “That’s not the problem.” I tip my head against hers and she smiles up at me. So beautiful that I forget how to swallow. And how to talk. And—

  “James…”

  She caught me as I was falling into her lovely eyes. “Hmm?”

  “What were you going to tell me?”

  I swallow hard, taking a step back from her. Being this close messes with my head. “You see, figuring out what I want to say isn’t the problem. The problem lies somewhere between my head and my lips.”

  She blinks. Still watching me. Not saying anything.

  “Thing is, Lex.” I run my hand through my hair, turning in a wide circle, scoping out the area. Vacant—perfect. “I spent a lot of time thinking on the way home today. Thinking about life and my future and…you. I want you to be part of my life, my future. You see…” How many times have I said that now? “I believe God had a plan in letting all this—” I motion to my armless shoulder, lift my prosthesis, “—happen. If nothing else, it was all worth it because I met you.”

  Uh oh, I see tears. I take a step forward, reaching for the hand that’s not clamped over her mouth. “Lex, what did I say?”

  She shakes her head, looking away until she can speak. When she does, her voice is still choked. “James, how…how can you say that losing your arm and leg…w-was worth it just because you met me?”

  Goodness, she’s sweet. And so innocent, too. I wrap my arm around her waist, and she turns into my one-armed embrace. My heart thuds violently when she lays her head on my chest, threads her arms around me, holds on like she’s never going to let go.

  “I didn’t just meet you, Lex. I fell in love with you. Your caring ways, your compassionate heart. Your deep love of God…and your snarky comebacks to my teasing.”

  She laughs at that, her shoulders contracting under my hold.

  “I mean it, Lex. It’s unique and special and…you. That’s who you are to me. The girl who saved me from self-destruction and witnessed to me, wouldn’t let me give up and bluntly informed me what an idiot I am…er, was. You’ve stuck by my side when you had every right to leave, forget you ever met me.”

  Her hands, clasped behind my back, come undone and fall away. She eases back a bit, not meeting my eyes. “You’d better stop this, Semper Fi.”

  I grin at the spunk in her voice. “But I’m not finished yet.”

  “But what if you make me cry?” Green eyes jump up to mine, red rimmed but stubborn. “Guys aren’t supposed to do that to their girls.”

  Their girls… “You’re already crying.” And she’s not the only one. Even I can see the tremble in my hand as I prop my knuckle under her chin.

  Her right hand comes up, brushing loose hair from her wet eyes and tucking a wayward strand behind her ear. A finger brushes my hand before falling back to her side.

  Silence calms the air between us, removing the necessity of words and drying the tears from her face.

  I swallow—hard. God, don’t let me botch this. I clear my throat, afraid I’ll lose my nerve. When I have yet to speak, Alex fills the emptiness.

  “I think I know what you’re leading up to,” she whispers, more tears crowding her eyes. “You’d better hurry up before I seriously cry.”

  She already knows—of course she does. My nerves melt away. I give her what I hope is a good smile and brush my thumb across her chin. “Will you…will you marry me, Lex?”

  The tears that were pooled in her beautiful eyes multiply and spill down her cheeks in excess. “Oh, James…” She doesn’t even try to hide them as she loops her arms around my waist and steps back into my hug.

  I curl her close against me and wait for her to speak.

  She does—sooner than I expected—her breath on my cheek. “James…you’re the best guy a girl could ask for. I…I don’t think I deserve you, but I love you so much.”

  “Nonsense,” I whisper. Surely I’m not getting choked up, too. “I don’t deserve you. But I want to be the one with the honor and the joy of protecting you and looking out for you…to the best of my ability, anyway.”

  Silence fills the air around us, broken only by Alex’s sniffling against my shirt.

  Thirty seconds, then a minute. Finally, I’ve just got to know. “You never answered me, hon.”

  “Oh! Oh gracious, yes.” Clinging to my hand, she bounces on her toes in girlish fashion. “Of course I’ll marry you!”

  Chapter Twenty-Two || Alex

  The following morning, I pull up in front of the apartments and cut off the truck. I’m out the door and onto the sidewalk in seconds. I ring the doorbell and sneak a look at my phone screen while I wait for someone to let me in. 7:30. We still have plenty of time to get to the race start.

  Someone approaches from inside, and then the door swings op
en, Lester grinning up at me.

  “I figured that was you.”

  I laugh and enter the house after he rolls back out of my way. “Who else would be appearing this time of morning?”

  “Believe it or not, Brian and I do have lives.” He points to the sparkling diamond on my left hand, the one that James jokingly proposed with a second time last night, after we came here to get it. “Congratulations, by the way.”

  I grin. So James did tell. “Thank you, Lester.” I bend down to give him a hug. “I was wondering if James had said anything to y’all.”

  Lester motions for me to follow him toward the kitchen—where a lot of noise is drifting from. “Well, he tried not to. But with a guy that starstruck, it’s not hard to get information from him. Just get him started and he’ll ramble on like the gossipy aunt.”

  I laugh, joy overflowing from somewhere deep inside of me. James looks up from where he sits at the table, halfway through a bowl of cereal, and winks at me. “Morning.”

  “Good morning.” I slide into the chair to his right and lay my phone and keys on the table. “Take your time, I’m early.”

  He nods, wipes his mouth, and leans closer to kiss my cheek. Loud clapping comes from the other side of the table where Lester and Brian have just appeared. I’m not sure who’s blushing more as James and I exchange a grin.

  “Want some breakfast?” He motions with his spoon toward the box sitting on the counter.

  “I ate already.”

  He glances at me over a spoon of Cheerios. “Tell me you had more than sugared-up caffeine.”

  I can’t contain the laughter that bubbles up. “I had coffee, yes. And granola.”