by LJ Evans
I shrugged. I had no idea. I’d lost it somewhere along the way the night before.
I picked up the red stilettos that were by the bed and headed for the door.
“Mon bijou,” Dax called after me, and the new and beautiful nickname twisted inside me. I ignored him, walking out without a backward glance while all the while my heart was shattering once again.
The memory of that night and morning was a perfect example of the dual-edged sword Dax and I had thrust back and forth at each other for years. He’d bruised his hands to keep me safe only to send me scurrying. I drew him in with teases and flirts only to toss him aside. Now…now he wanted to put the swords away and give me everything. Give me a future.
Hope stabbed and tore at the scabbed-over pieces of my heart. The little girl in me wanted to believe that our Romeo-and-Juliet story could find a different ending. One more like Shinji and Hatsue’s. One built on sweet acceptance. But it felt…unreal.
I barely glanced at my pale face in the mirror with the moonlight flooding the bathroom. I didn’t know if I could handle seeing the eyes that gave away the secrets of my soul.
When I came out of the room, there was a disturbance in the air that had me freezing at the foot of the bed. A hand found my mouth, and a knife appeared at my neck. The silver studded hilt with rubies was easily recognized as Kaida’s. I’d seen it many times in my past.
I didn’t turn around. I didn’t move an inch as fear spiked through my veins, the same fear I’d felt in the safe room two years ago when Ken’Ichi had me and Violet cornered at gunpoint. It was fear for my friend rather than myself. Only, this time it was fear for the man I loved. For Dax. He was as full of goodness as Violet was. They both deserved only the very best things.
Reality crashed into me, completely shattering the stupid dream I’d lived in for a few precious days. My life was never going to bring anything but evil to his world. I’d risked everything. I’d risked him. Guilt flew through me. Anger that was only directed at myself.
Kaida pushed at me silently, shoving me toward the door while keeping the knife at my throat, and I went willingly. The farther I got her from the man sprawled in my bed, the better. As we traveled down the stairs, my stomach heaved, thinking of the men on duty, thinking of Cillian and the other guards and wondering what she’d done to them.
I looked down as we passed the foot of the stairs and was grateful to see Mike without his throat slit. Instead, a dart stuck out of his neck. I could only hope it meant he was asleep and not dead. The front door was ajar, but no alarm was sounding. We’d barely stepped outside when pounding on the steps caused Kaida to flip us both around so that we were facing whoever had appeared.
Dax was bare-chested and wild-eyed as he stumbled down. He’d pulled on his jeans, but his feet were as bare as his chest.
“If you call for help, everyone dies, including her,” Kaida said softly. She was dragging me backward toward the dark sedan waiting for her in the drive.
Dax followed, keeping the distance between us wide but traveling at the same pace as us. “If you take her, you take me,” he said.
“You don’t get to make demands,” she said.
I didn’t understand why she was there. I still had a day left before I was expected to surrender to death. It made no sense for her to have come searching for me. But it meant that we’d been compromised yet again, that somewhere in the midst were more traitors.
Behind us, I heard the car door open. There was someone with her, and the pace of my heart multiplied. I begged Dax with my eyes to back away so I wouldn’t have his death on my conscience.
“Get in the car, Musume,” my father’s voice pounded through the air quietly. I shouldn’t have felt crushed by the knowledge that he truly was behind all this, yet his voice sliced through me, proving once more how much a parent can wound a child.
Dax’s face turned darker than I’d ever seen it—even more than that night with the three men at Benita’s. He lunged forward, barely getting hold of Kaida’s arm before she pushed me aside and kicked out, careening into his knee with a sickening crunch. A gun barrel appeared near my cheek, pointed in Dax’s direction.
“I’d prefer not to have another Armaud death on my conscience, but I will shoot if you don’t back away.” Otōsan’s voice was emotionless, denying his words. He wouldn’t care if Dax died.
“I’ll go! There’s no need to hurt him,” I said with my voice full of fear and hate and love all at the same time. Emotions I never wanted my father to see because I’d prided myself on my composure in his presence ever since being locked in my room, sobbing over someone else’s pinkie.
“No!” Dax growled with panic drawn from terror leaking into his voice.
“I’ll be okay,” I lied. It didn’t matter what happened to me as long as he was safe.
I stepped backward, running into my father, whose hand never wavered. The gun directed at Dax was steady and strong.
“Get in the car,” Otōsan repeated the command, and this time I obeyed, as did Kaida. She went to the driver’s side, and I clambered in the back in nothing but my robe.
My father got in, and as he shut the door, Dax lunged forward, pounding on the roof. It did nothing to prevent Kaida from tearing out of the driveway and sending gravel in every direction. When I looked out the back, Dax was jogging after us only to stop and bend over as if in agony with his hands in his hair. My heart lodged itself in my throat. I made a mangled noise that brought my father’s eyes to mine.
“You put him in danger by staying with him,” he said.
I had. I’d known all along that my life would do nothing but bleed onto him. Ooze infection and grief.
“Why are you doing this?” I asked, shaking. “Why now? Why didn’t you just kill me back in New London and be done with it?”
“Put on your seat belt, Musume.”
I laughed, and it sounded both sarcastic and manic even to myself.
“Why does it matter? At least if I die in an accident, you won’t be accused of murder,” I returned.
“He’s trying to save your life, you ungrateful―” Kaida growled only to be interrupted by my father.
“Enough.”
She returned to silence, but I shot a look from her to him. My fear was turning into confusion. My heart was still beating at a pace it wouldn’t be able to sustain for long, and my injuries from the explosion, that had started to heal, were suddenly aching.
“Put on your seat belt,” he repeated, and this time, I did as I was told.
The bracelet Dax had given me hit the buckle, and my entire stomach revolted. He would come after me. Dax would not let me be taken without trying to get me back. Goddamn it…
We rode in silence. The frantic pulse of my blood was the only sound I could hear. The buzzing had returned, causing everything to echo around me as I tried to focus on a way out. On a way to save Dax. A way to save us all.
Eventually, we pulled into a small, private airport where my father’s jet sat on the runway. Kaida drove right up to the stairs and then got out. I debated leaving the bracelet behind, and I was reaching for the latch when Kaida opened my door.
“Get out. And don’t run. You won’t get far, and it might end up with your pretty face eating the gravel runway,” Kaida barked out.
I didn’t have time to fiddle more with the bracelet. I left the car, and the wind whipped through my robe, sending chills up my body. I mounted the stairs with Kaida on my heels and my father trailing us both. We’d barely entered the cabin before the door was being shut and the wheels were turning.
From the window, I saw the two SUVs Dax and I had arrived at Vanya’s cottage in barreling down the runway after us. The windows were rolled down, guns pointed in our direction, but I knew they wouldn’t shoot. Cillian and the rest of the bodyguards wouldn’t risk hurting me. Dax wouldn’t allow it.
The plane left the ground, and I braced myself on the seat next to me to keep myself
from falling. My heart twisted tighter in my chest, my only relief coming from the knowledge that the farther we got from Dax, the safer he was.
My father was in an armchair, watching me, assessing me. Would I rise to the occasion, would I crumble apart, or would I shame him as I had repeatedly in our life together?
“Sit,” he said, motioning to the chair across from him, and I did because fighting it at this point was futile.
“You have a chakai to attend today,” he said quietly.
“A chakai…?” My confusion grew. I didn’t understand why he would kidnap me only to shove me into a gathering. “Akari’s? Why?”
He hesitated—something my father was not known for doing. He was always decisive, striking with the coiled energy of a snake.
“I need proof of those who are working against me.”
“You told me that Hiroto was humiliated and not looking for revenge.”
“Not Hiroto,” he said. “I fear this will only bring him more shame.”
The pieces would not come together for me. “Someone in attendance then? How will my being there help you?”
He didn’t answer.
Even with all the bits of knowledge I was missing, I realized a single truth.
“I’m the bait,” I breathed out.
He inclined his head.
“Why would I do this?”
“If you don’t, you will never have peace. They will always come after you. If you want a chance at life with Armaud, you will do as I say.”
I snorted. “I don’t think you care about me, or Dax, or his family.”
His eyes glimmered.
“He’s told you, then,” Otōsan said. It wasn’t a question.
“Yes. I guess betrayal runs in our family. You betrayed your friend and your lover long before I betrayed you.”
“I’ve had to make many hard choices along my path. Some I regret. Some I do not.”
“Élodie…is she a regret? Am I? How about Kaasan?”
He looked surprised. “I have done nothing to your mother.”
“You’re betraying her right now, aren’t you? With Ichika Matsuda?”
He closed his eyes. “Who told you this? Akari? She thinks her mother and I are having an affair?”
I hated that I believed his surprise was legitimate.
“You’re not?” I asked.
He shook his head. “Ichika and I have been discussing Hiroto. He has Alzheimer’s and has started making regrettable mistakes. Mistakes I can’t afford for my Shateigashira to make. Not after…” He trailed off, but his eyes continued to bore into me.
“Not after letting me go,” I finished for him. He didn’t acknowledge it or deny it. “Why would she help you?”
He laughed. “Ichika wants nothing more than to prove she can do her husband’s job.”
“What? Why?”
He stared at me. “Like you, she wants the world to see that women can be as powerful as men. That they do not need to hide behind their husbands.”
“Like me?” It was my turn to be surprised.
“From the first time you picked up the sword in my office and pretended to slay your enemy, you have been trying to prove to me that you are powerful. Strong. Unafraid.”
“I wanted to be you.” The admission ripped from me before I could hold it back.
“Until you realized I was the villain and not the hero.”
I swallowed hard.
He sighed. “The way you found out about the Kyōdaina was unfortunate. It sent you spiraling. After watching you destroy yourself for too many years, I knew I needed something to focus you before I lost you completely. I thought marriage to Ken’Ichi would do that for you.”
“Forcing me to marry Ken’Ichi would have done the opposite. It would have withered me into a shell of myself.”
“Perhaps. But at the time, I thought it would bring you into the organization. I didn’t realize how much you hated him until the engagement party.”
“And yet you still let it go on.”
“Because we had guests.”
He’d had to save face. Just like now. He was trying to protect his image and the image of the Kyōdaina by keeping Hiroto’s illness a secret. But in letting a woman take over, he was also showing a weakness that his male-centered organization would not support, just like showing mercy by letting me go had been a weakness. He’d tried to hide my involvement in the FBI raid. He’d tried to lay the arrests in New London at Ken’Ichi’s feet, but the truth had been clear. The FBI had used me to get to my father.
The daughter had betrayed the king, and he’d let her go.
“Has someone found out about Ichika and Hiroto? Is this why they are trying to bring you down? And what has any of it to do with me?” I asked quietly.
“I have many enemies. Inside and outside the Kyōdaina. I built it by taking over and consolidating many other organizations. Some of those have long memories, just like whoever is coming after you.”
“You don’t think they are the same people?”
“It is unclear. But putting you at the chakai as if you are now taking your place at my side―coming home―will certainly bring the worms out of the ground. We will catch one, if not both.”
“Why the chakai?”
“Because Ichika already put the rumor out into the wind that you were coming as the honored guest. The only way you would be able to hold that position was if I’d accepted you back.”
We sat in silence for a long moment. “I don’t want back in, Otōsan.”
His head inclined slightly. “I know. Fate has handed me its retribution. I took Élodie, and now Armaud has taken my daughter.”
With Otōsan, it was unclear whether this bothered him at all, the loss of a daughter or his lover. He hadn’t seemed to mind losing me for two years—or even the years before that when I’d done everything I could to rub my defiance in his face. He’d only cared that I’d shamed our name by cavorting around the world, partying and having sex.
“I wouldn’t return even if I wasn’t in love with Dax,” I told him the truth.
“I know.”
I fingered the bracelet, nervous energy filling me. I didn’t know if I should leave it on the plane when we landed or if I should take it with me. Could I risk anyone else getting hurt because of me? My father’s eyes landed on the bracelet, and I stopped twirling it around my wrist, dropping my arm to my side.
He waved a hand toward the bedroom of the jet.
“There is a change of clothing waiting for you.”
I wanted to ask him if it was worth it, giving up love and decency for power and money, but I didn’t dare. My father had revealed more of himself in this single conversation than he had in the twenty-five years I’d been alive. The revelations were now done, and he expected me to conform one last time to his plans.
And I would. For me. Because there might be a slim chance to get out of this alive and go back to Dax. I’d do it because I owed it to the father I’d betrayed.
Dax
LITTLE LION MAN
“Your grace is wasted in your face
Your boldness stands alone among the wreck.”
Performed by Mumford & Sons
Written by Dwane / Marshall / Lovett / Mumford
I hit the back of the seat in front of me several times, forcing it and Terrence forward with my vehemence as I watched the jet fly off into the sky that was slowly coming awake, the deep gray turning into a mixture of orange and pink, glinting off the clouds. The color was a deep contrast to the despair I felt.
My heart was no longer inside my chest. It was gone, thousands of miles in the air with Jada. I felt frozen and furious all at the same time. The heavy breathing in the car was the only sound. Cillian’s and Terrence’s faces were dark and stormy. I assumed they matched mine.
“What the fuck just happened?” I demanded.
Cillian braked hard, tires squealing to a stop on the r
unway. He pulled out his phone, logging in and bringing up an app. A red dot blinked on the screen, and he closed his eyes for a brief second as if relieved. “She has the bracelet on.”
It was a statement more than a question. “Yes.”
“They’re flying north and not out over the Pacific. I don’t think he’s taking her to Japan.”
“He shouldn’t have been able to take her at all!” I snarled.
Cillian spoke into his mic to the other vehicle, then did a U-turn and headed back the way we’d come toward the main highway.
“We’ll follow the plane,” he said.
Terrence looked from Cillian to me and then back to his boss. “You had her tagged?”
Cillian nodded.
“And you didn’t tell us?” Terrence looked pissed. Offended.
“For good reason, it seems,” Cillian growled.
My knee was throbbing wildly. My feet were shredded from the gravel on the drive that I’d run down, following the departing car with Jada inside it. My knuckles were bruised from pounding on the roof of the sedan. My heart slammed against my rib cage, twisting and burning. I couldn’t lose her. Not after everything we’d shared. Not after finally breaking through her walls.
I was wearing nothing but the jeans I’d pulled on when I’d realized Jada wasn’t in bed with me. I’d gone in search of her, unsure what had woken me. I still wasn’t sure if it had simply been her absence or the fear she’d exuded. Fear for me. She’d do anything to make sure the people around her weren’t hurt…even going with her father.
My stomach lurched, and nausea shifted through me.
I wouldn’t let her sacrifice herself for me. For anyone.
We’d left two of the men at Vanya’s down, but not dead. They’d been tranquilized with darts. Armando had stayed behind to make sure they recovered. That left five men with us—six if I included myself, but I wasn’t an expert on any kind of recovery mission. I was a rich playboy who dabbled in boat racing and business deals.
“Do you really think someone at the cottage gave away our location?” Terrence’s eyes narrowed on Cillian.
