The Crocodile Makes No Sound

by N. L. Holmes

  Hani was completely abashed. “Oh, my lord, I swear I didn’t know this was what he had in mind. I’ll take him back immediately. This can only endanger you.”

  “You’ll have to fight Apeny for him, Hani. She’s determined to do this at any cost to us. To me.”

  Ptah-mes looked so grim and worn that Hani felt downright sorry for him. He didn’t seem to be furious, as he might well have been. Hani knew only too well the kind of anxiety that followed in the firebrand priest’s wake. But at least he was Hani’s family; it was Hani’s duty to take the risk. Ptah-mes had no connection to him at all. This was no doubt one more stress on his tottering marriage.

  “I’m so sorry,” Hani said in heartfelt apology. “I told him I didn’t want to know where he was going. He had my wife carry a message, and I didn’t even ask her about her destination.”

  Ptah-mes said dully, “I believe you, my friend. The only question is what to do now. I can tell you, the medjay are out looking for him. Would they think to look in the home of a former First Prophet of Amen-Ra and the weret khener, a woman who has been none too discreet about her positions?” A pained smile twitched at his lips. “And if they looked, would they find our fugitive? And what then?” He lifted an eyebrow. “Would they believe that a woman would undertake such an action with neither the knowledge nor the permission of her husband—a husband, I might add, who has been publicly humiliated by the present king and stripped of his rank and who might be expected to harbor a grudge? We can’t demand that Lord Mahu and his henchmen understand the unconventional arrangements of my marriage.”

  Hani groaned, his hands over his face. “I’m so sorry, so sorry. How did you find out?”

  “I showed up unexpectedly in Waset. Apeny wasn’t home, but your brother-in-law was asleep in my bed. He explained what had happened. She confirmed it upon her return.”

  Hani was nonplussed. “He’s not... they’re not...?”

  “How do I know, Hani? That would be the least dangerous part of it if it were true.”

  “May the Hidden One guide us...” Hani murmured.

  “Indeed.” Ptah-mes stood again and said levelly, mastering himself with an effort, “I suppose I’ll see you this evening at the house here.”

  “Yes, my lord. My father came with us. I hope that’s not one more burden that my family is imposing upon you.”

  “Not at all,” said Ptah-mes with perfect graciousness. “I like your father.”

  ⸎

  Maya was waiting in the shadowy reaches of the reception hall, reading over a letter he’d been writing. He sprang to his feet as soon as he heard his father-in-law’s heavy footsteps emerging from the high commissioner’s office.

  “Maya, my friend,” said Hani in a flattened voice. “Our troubles are contagious.”

  Once they had passed out into the courtyard, Hani recounted the unforeseen turn of events. Maya rolled his eyes, outraged. “With all respect, my lord, that priest is endangering everyone he touches.”

  Hani blew a puff of air from his mouth. “I have no answer for that. We just have to survive.”

  Mery-ra intercepted them in the garden. “I bought us food for lunch so we don’t inconvenience your friend even further, Hani.”

  “Good, Father. I think we’ve just about filled the cup of his inconvenience to the brim.” Hani clapped his father on the shoulder and pushed past him toward the courtyard.

  “What’s that supposed to mean, son?” Mery-ra trailed after him. He cast an inquiring look back at Maya, who answered only with an eloquent raising of the eyebrows. “What’s happened now?”

  “Let’s set out your lunch first, and I’ll tell you as we eat.”

  They spread out the stack of flatbreads, pickled vegetables, imported olives, and chickpeas on an unoccupied stool. To one side, Mery-ra set several bunches of grapes and a handful of little pies of some sort. Maya’s saliva was starting to run at the smell.

  They’d just begun to dig in when Ptah-mes appeared from around the bushes, a tall ewer and a stack of cups in his hands. “Here you are,” he said with a smile. “May I join you?”

  “By all means, my lord. We were hoping not to inconvenience you any further,” said Lord Hani, who vacated the single chair and moved to a stool.

  “No inconvenience.” Lord Ptah-mes looked pleasant enough for someone whose life had just been put in jeopardy. “I wanted to assure you, Hani, that there are no hard feelings. I know you had nothing to do with this.” He poured out a rich red wine for them all from his ewer and handed around the cups.

  “What have you done now, Hani?” asked Mery-ra.

  “Forgive me, my lord. I don’t think I’ve ever introduced my father, Mery-ra, to you. Or my son-in-law, Maya.”

  “My pleasure, gentleman,” said Ptah-mes, nodding graciously. “I believe we have met, in fact. I hope you’ve found the accommodations to your liking.”

  “It’s most kind of you to extend your hospitality to us in this way, my lord,” said Mery-ra, who was trying to catch Hani’s eye.

  Hani said in a voice scarcely above a whisper, “My brother-in-law seems to have turned up at Lord Ptah-mes’s house in Waset, Father.”

  “Ah, he knows?” Ptah-mes said. Whatever distress he’d experienced at first seemed to be mastered. He said calmly, “My wife is hiding your son-in-law, Lord Mery-ra.”

  “Mut the mother of us all,” the old man cried, the color draining from his face. “Someone needs to spank little Shu hard.”

  At Ptah-mes’s interrogatory look, Hani explained, “My wife and her brother resemble one another strongly in appearance. This is my father’s irreverent nickname for him.”

  Ptah-mes nodded. “If they catch him, they’ll do worse than that to him. And to us, too, I fear.” He lifted his cup and said in a louder voice, bright and cheerful, “Life, prosperity, and health to our king.”

  The others echoed his words in a somewhat vaguer fashion and upended their cups. It was the most exquisite vintage Maya had ever tasted. These grandees know how to live, he thought, smacking his lips appreciatively.

  “I’m afraid we have a rather simple lunch, my lord, but I beg you to share it with us,” Hani said with his big inviting smile.

  “With pleasure, my friend,” said Ptah-mes, reaching out his ringed hand for a piece of bread.

  They ate, not saying much. Ptah-mes displayed unimpeachable amiability despite the bad turn Hani’s family had done him. He’s a real aristocrat, Maya thought. Look at him. Gold of honor around his neck. A wig that probably cost as much as my house. Who could believe I’d ever break bread with such a man?

  “Tell me, Hani,” Lord Ptah-mes said as he poured Hani the last drops from the ewer. “Whatever happened with your niece’s fiancé?”

  Hani looked suddenly uncomfortable. “Alas, he was murdered.” He exchanged a significant look with their host.

  “I remember now. My condolences,” murmured Ptah-mes.

  “As regards my granddaughter, at least, it was for the best,” said Mery-ra. “He was completely unsuitable.”

  “It seemed so. I trust... all that business is behind you, then.” The high commissioner didn’t even raise his eyes from his cup, but his meaning was clear, and it was aimed at Hani.

  “I hope so, my lord, although one of my colleagues in the foreign service recently solicited my continued aid for his client.” The two men locked eyes over the rims of their cups. “I’m not sure what I can do for him.”

  “Probably nothing.”

  Maya felt he was listening to them converse in code.

  “However...” Hani’s brows were knotted as if some troubling idea were forcing its way into his head. “My lord, these two men have my complete confidence. May I speak frankly to you about... that matter?”

  “But of course. If they understand that I know absolutely nothing about any of it.”

  “My lord, I’ve worked in the secret service under three kings, and I can swear to you, you know absolutely nothing about it,” said
Mery-ra with a complicit smirk.

  “Nothing,” Maya confirmed.

  Hani recommenced. “My brother-in-law was explaining the king’s new theology to me the last time I saw him, and all of a sudden it occurred to me that this might be what we were looking for.” He stared around at the men, a spark of excitement in his eye. “You recall we hoped to find some alternative plan that the queen might find more appealing than ruining her rival, the Beloved Royal Wife. How does this sound to you? She or her father should convince the king to make her not queen but co-king with him. She would be far above any competition from any other woman, even one loved by the king.”

  They all stared at Hani with varying degrees of incomprehension and skepticism on their faces.

  His cheeks growing scarlet, he hastened to explain. “You’d have had to hear what our friend said about the theology, I guess. How there’s a he-king and a she-king, fertility figures making up a whole that is the king—”

  “Slow down, son. He-king and she-king?”

  “Come on, Father. You remember the images at the Gem-pa-aten?”

  “And how. Ah, perhaps I see what you mean. The queen with the crook and flail.”

  “Yes. The idea is the king’s, but we suggest that he make it real, not just symbolic.”

  “And he’ll listen to you?” Lord Ptah-mes asked neutrally.

  “No, but he’ll listen to the queen. And she’ll listen to Lady Djefat-nebty, her trusted physician.”

  They stared at one another. Maya was unsure what to think, and he didn’t want to be the first to express an opinion. He licked his lips, his eyes flicking from face to face.

  Finally, Lord Ptah-mes said, “I can express no position on matters theological regarding the Aten, Hani, but it might appeal to Lady Nefert-iti. The question is, will it appeal to the king?”

  Hani spread his hands in a gesture of helplessness. “We can’t know until we try.”

  Mery-ra made a pondering hum. “And if you find out that it doesn’t? Will you live to say, ‘Oops, let’s try something else’?”

  “I can’t read the future, Father,” Hani said. “I’m in trouble even if I do nothing.”

  Another silence descended.

  Lord Ptah-mes rose to his feet. “Gentlemen, I leave you, as ignorant as when I came. I’ll see you at dinner, I suppose. This time, let me be the host.” He smiled one of his warmer smiles and disappeared gracefully into the greenery.

  Lord Hani watched him depart and said finally, with a sigh, “I guess I need to pay Lady Djefat-nebty a visit.”

  ⸎

  Hani waited until evening, when he knew Neferet was released from her duties, and presented himself at the physician’s door. Neferet was pale and kept swallowing hard. The sunet herself accompanied the girl, her face a stern mask. “Lord Hani. I’m happy your daughter has decided to persevere. The Dazzling Disk help the patient whose doctor doesn’t care enough about her to be appalled at her suffering.”

  “Well said, my lady. I hope her behavior was... appropriate today.”

  “She’ll be fine.” The woman crossed her arms like a man. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then, my girl.”

  “Yes, my lady,” said Neferet in a weak voice.

  Hani was concerned. He’d rarely ever seen his irrepressible daughter so cast down. He looked back at the sunet, standing tall and unapproachable in the semidarkness of the vestibule. He said humbly, “My lady, may I speak to you privately sometime about another matter altogether—a matter that has ramifications for the welfare of the kingdom?”

  She raised a curious eyebrow and gestured for him to follow her.

  “Wait here, my duckling,” Hani called to Neferet.

  Lady Djefat-nebty walked briskly through the salon, with its dais and throne-like chairs, and into a smaller room painted with the luminous scenes of nature that Hani had seen at the Beloved Wife’s maru. She closed the door behind them. “What’s this about?”

  Hani took a deep breath and began. “My lady, I am attached to the foreign office of our lord king’s Hall of Correspondence. My sole concern is for the safety and well-being of our kingdom, particularly as regards its allies and enemies. I beg you to keep that in mind—my aims are not partisan in any way. And I would ask that you keep our conversation confidential.”

  The physician thrust out her lip, considering. She looked curious in spite of her forbidding features.

  Hani plunged on. “It has come to my attention that there is a rivalry—understandably—between the Great Queen and the Beloved Royal Wife. Unfortunately, if the queen manages to humiliate the Beloved Wife, the result will be the rupture of the treaty with Naharin and quite possibly the loss of our northern vassals to Kheta.” He hoped Djefat-nebty wasn’t well versed in what was already happening to the north at the moment, because then she would know how Kheta had emasculated Naharin and that Kemet’s vassals were already peeling off. Her expression revealed nothing, but she listened with punctilious attention.

  “It’s the sincere hope of me and my colleagues and all right-thinking men of Kemet that this can be avoided. The queen has asked me to serve her as I am able”—Hani believed this wasn’t stretching the truth too egregiously—“and this is what occurs to me. Since your husband is a priest of the Aten, you can probably evaluate its theological merits better than I. What if the king made of his Great Queen something even more exalted, something no mere king’s wife, no matter how beloved, could hope to rival?”

  “What is greater than a queen?” the doctor asked pointedly in her mannish voice.

  “A king, my lady.” He saw her eyes widen then squint thoughtfully. “What if the royal couple presented itself as a male and a female king, perfect in kingship, perfect in the fertility of the Aten?”

  “Kings are male, Hani.”

  “So are doctors, my lady.” He watched her expression change from shock to amusement and even, he hoped, approval. “Yet we have had female kings before, just as we have had female doctors. It’s not common, but it’s not impossible.”

  “Novel.” She stood, digesting the idea in silence, then said, “Where do I come into this?”

  “I think both the Lady Kiya and the Great Queen trust you, my lady. Your impartiality is impeccable, and your family’s devotion to the cause of the Aten is above reproach. Someone might suspect me of some sort of self-interest, but if the idea came from you, I think those who need to consider it would give it a fair hearing.”

  She continued to stare at him as if she could read his heart. And do you have some sort of self-interest in this? she seemed to be thinking.

  “If we don’t forestall the breakup of our Mitannian alliance, the Hittites will have won the day, my lady. The royal women can save the kingdom.”

  At last, Djefat-nebty said, “I’ll consider it. I assume that when you say to keep it confidential, that doesn’t mean I can’t weigh its theological merits with my husband, who is trained in these matters.”

  “That seems more than reasonable. I wouldn’t want to suggest anything that wasn’t theologically orthodox.” It was all he could do to repress a naughty smile at that lie. But his desire to see this plan work was completely sincere.

  She nodded and opened the door. “I’ll ponder this and get back to you.”

  Hani emerged into the raw garden of the mansion and saw Neferet squatting in the path,

  watching something. She rose at her father’s approach and cried, “Guess what I am,

  Papa.” She began to nudge something invisible with her head, then her shoulder, then both hands,

  her feet planted behind her as if she were trying to flip a fellow wrestler.

  Hani scratched his chin. “Is this some medical procedure?”

  She hooted with laughter. “No, silly. Watch closely.” She shaped a globe with her hands then repeated her pushing gestures.

  “I give up,” Hani said. “What are you?”

  “A dung beetle, of course!”

  “But of course!” He laughed, partly f
rom the relief of his own tension and partly for joy that Neferet seemed to be restored to her good humor.

  She waddled and waded down the path, her hands crawling the air in front of her. “That’s how beetles walk.”

  “How do they talk?”

  “They’re too small. I can’t hear them.”

  Hani put a fond arm around his daughter’s shoulder and squeezed her toward him. “Are you all right, little dung beetle?”

  “It’s hard sometimes, Papa, but I’m all right.” They walked side by side to the gate and out into the street. Neferet said, “You know what Lady Djefat-nebty said? She said that real sunus use magic and prayers, too, because you have to figure out what spirits are troubling the patient before you can treat them. And that people feel better and heal quicker when they know the gods are helping them.”

  Hani wondered what a woman who had apparently accepted the worship of the Aten thought of praying to Sekhmet or Serqet or Im-hotep or the divine Djeser-ka-ra who had once been the king. No doubt, if it made people feel better, it was good. He liked Djefat-nebty for that. She was a pragmatist. He hoped that augured well for his request.

  Finally, they came to Aha’s gate. “Grandfather and Maya and I are going back to Waset tomorrow morning, my duck. I’ll say goodbye to you here.” He folded her in his arms and kissed her head. “I love you, little duckling. I’m proud of your courage.”

  She squeezed him hard. “I love you, too, Papa. Kiss Grandfather and Maya for me, all right?” She giggled. “Or maybe not kiss them, exactly!”

  She scampered gaily into the garden, and Hani watched her until the gatekeeper pulled the red panels shut in his face.

  ⸎

  It had been Hani’s intention to leave for Waset first thing the next morning. Under the circumstances, he was eager to relieve Ptah-mes of the burden of three of his family members. But Ptah-mes had a message from one of the vassal kings of the north he wanted analyzed, and no one had as much experience in that part of the world as Hani. Having spent the morning at the Hall of Royal Correspondence, Hani decided to stay another day, and he saw Mery-ra and Maya off after lunch.