The Devil's Kiss Series Boxed Set

by Gemma James

  His hands slid from my cheeks, and I watched, in a trance, as he disappeared into the hall.

  14. Doubt

  I had a major problem, thanks to Gage’s new rule that I wasn’t allowed to wear panties. I had to face the seamstress without any. She was gracious enough not to say anything, but it was just one more bit of humiliation at the hands of my future husband.

  Husband.

  That word stirred all kinds of feelings in me—all of them contradictory in nature. So I went through the motions, picked out a gorgeous dress that dipped low at the bust and sparkled with intricate artistry, and I smiled like a woman facing the best day of her life. The gown was designed to hug a woman’s curves before flowing to the floor in satin and lace. If I was going to walk down the aisle, at least Gage would drool like a dog as I put one foot in front of the other. I even pretended the price tag didn’t matter.

  Though it did. Everything mattered, but what mattered to me didn’t matter to him. I drove his car, spent his money, and took Eve out for lunch and ice cream. I even bought her a new princess Barbie because that was her new obsession since he’d handed her everything she’d ever want on a silver platter.

  Time didn’t understand my trepidation; it moved too swiftly and now the big day was only a week away. My stomach was in constant knots from the stress, and I could barely eat, despite Gage demanding I do so. Apparently, he liked my curves and expected me to eat enough so I wouldn’t turn into a skeleton of myself. He’d already taken his belt to me twice over the issue, and God, those lashes had left their mark.

  But the thought of food sickened me. Marrying him…I didn’t know how to feel about it. I couldn’t bring myself to leave him, but I didn’t know if I could say “I do” either. Marriage was a big step—a bigger step than any conventional couple faced. Saying “I do” to Gage meant I would wait for him on my knees every night. I’d have no independence, no freedom. He would always hold my free will in his fist, and the difference between sleeping at his side or being locked in the basement lay in my ability to bend to his rules and demands.

  He wielded his authority over me more powerfully than a parent did a child, yet he also loved me—loved me with single-minded focus and an intense need to own every part of me. His love was selfish and obsessive but also unconditional in a most conditional way. I couldn’t even explain what that meant, but my heart understood. His love was sick and tainted and all wrong, but it was mine. He stood at the epicenter of my world, cast it in crimson, and I was ashamed to admit I rather liked living in red.

  I was addicted to him.

  “Mommy?”

  I snapped to attention and found Eve’s inquisitive eyes on me. We sat in the middle of the busy food court at the mall. Gage and I had met with the wedding planner earlier for a cake tasting appointment, and he’d gone to Channing Enterprises afterward to attend to some business. He was starting to trust me on my own, which said a lot. I’d promised to eat something, but I was beginning to think Chinese was a poor choice. The little I’d eaten sat lodged in my throat, holding the panic down so it couldn’t bubble over.

  I’m marrying Gage Channing in a week.

  Only a week.

  Seven days.

  Am I crazy?

  Stupid question.

  Eve called to me again from across the tiny table. She’d refused to sit at my side in a booster seat. She was a big girl now. I shook my head and focused my attention on her. “Yeah, baby?”

  “Can we come here for one hundred days?” She wrinkled her nose. “But not for Chinese!”

  I forced a smile because I doubted Gage would let me bring her to the mall on a regular basis. “Maybe we can do this once a week. I’ll have to ask…” I cut off, horrified by what I’d almost said. I did not want my daughter growing up thinking it was normal to ask a man for permission to do something as simple as leave the house. Relationships were supposed to be give-and-take—a partnership. Just because I’d become entrapped didn’t mean she had to.

  “You ready to go, princess?” I stalled, the nickname hanging in the air. When had I started using his nickname for my daughter? Acid burned my throat, and I swallowed hard. Suddenly, the urge to go home and fall into bed overwhelmed me.

  When had I started thinking of his place as home?

  Too many questions, and I had no answers. I was too drained to hunt for them. I disposed of our trash from lunch, and Eve and I window-shopped on the way to the mall’s exit. She was a typical four-year-old who wanted everything her gaze touched.

  “Please?” she whined.

  “Not today,” I said. She was about to argue, but the blonde entering the mall caught her attention.

  “Mommy, look!”

  I followed the direction Eve pointed, and my heart dropped. Katherine. Please, anyone but her.

  Fate wasn’t listening. She faltered at the site of us, and Eve squealed an excited greeting. I clenched my teeth, hating that my daughter liked the woman. Katherine’s lips curved into a wicked smile as she sauntered toward us.

  “Well isn’t this a coincidence? How’s Gage?” she asked, though her tone hinted at hostility.

  “He’s fine,” I snapped. “How’s your son? Everything work out for you in court?”

  It was official; Gage Channing had turned me into a territorial bitch.

  Her nasty grin vanished. “That’s none of your business.”

  I brushed my bangs back with my left hand, purposefully flaunting the large diamond. “Well, we need to get home. Nice chatting with you.”

  She pursed her lips, her eyes narrowing as she stared at the ring. “Drive safe. The weather’s horrid.” She smiled at Eve, and as she brushed by, she leaned toward me, her mouth inches from my ear. “Just so you know,” she said, lowering her voice, “Gage fucked me while you were down in the basement. He’s better at it than his brother, isn’t he?”

  A deep chill traveled the length of my body, and I absently heard Eve call out “bye” to Katherine. My mind went numb, and the cold barely penetrated as we left the mall and found Gage’s Lexus. Eve talked the whole way home, but my head was somewhere else.

  I was still standing in the middle of the busy mall, hearing those words that knifed through my heart.

  When we arrived back at the house, Eve barreled through the door in search of Gage. I figured he’d still be at work, so I was surprised when he appeared from his office. He picked her up, and as she chattered about our day, about the movie we saw and how she tried “yucky noodles” at the food court, his gaze roamed over me.

  He let her slide to her feet. “I need a moment with your mom. You left the puzzles out from this morning. Go put them away, please.”

  At least he was polite when he demanded things of my daughter. She looked less than thrilled, but she wandered down the hall, swinging her arms and taking her time.

  Gage crossed the space between us. “What’s wrong?”

  I opened my mouth but nothing came out.

  “Kayla,” he warned. “Answer me.”

  I wasn’t sure what came over me, but my palm shot out and connected with his cheek. My eyes burned with unshed tears, and I moved to strike him again. He grabbed my wrist and squeezed.

  “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

  I blinked, and the tears spilled. “I ran into Katherine. She said you slept with her.”

  His eyes narrowed. “You already know about my past with her. I’ve never kept that a secret.”

  “I’m not talking about the past. You had me locked in the basement, keeping me from my own child, and you couldn’t keep it in your pants for a day?”

  “Is that what she told you?” He let go of my wrist.

  “Yes.”

  “She lied. She wanted to, even embarrassed herself trying, but I didn’t touch her.” He grabbed my hands and held them at my back, and his arms imprisoned my body. “I’m not a cheating bastard, Kayla.”

  “You let her suck your cock in your office a year ago.” Hearing their
moans through the door hadn’t bothered me at the time, but the memory of that trashy encounter now took my breath. My chest ached from holding back the hurt.

  “A year ago, we weren’t engaged.” He let go of my hands and framed my cheeks, his thumbs wiping away tears. “A year ago, I wasn’t in love with you.” His voice grew stern. “Your jealousy is a major turn-on, but don’t you ever hit me again.” He glanced at his watch and then folded my fingers around a key. “Go to the basement and pick a corner. Face it, on your knees. I’ll punish you once Eve goes down for her nap.”

  I nodded, my throat too constricted to speak. He took off down the hall toward Eve’s room, and I headed for the basement. I removed my clothing and dropped to my knees in the far corner of the rectangular room. The flood of tears wouldn’t stop, and as time passed, I wondered why I was still crying. I believed him. I wasn’t sure how or why, but Katherine’s claim rang false in my heart. So why was I such a mess over this? The thought of him with anyone else brought out my claws, and suddenly, I understood Gage a little better.

  My knees were on fire when the door to the basement opened.

  “Get up, Kayla.”

  I rose, rubbing my aching knees as I stood, and turned to face him. He grabbed a paddle from his collection, pulled a chair into the middle of the room, and sat down. “Come here.”

  I shook my head. “No paddles.”

  “I said no bullwhip. My belt and hand turn you on too much, and you need to be punished. This is going to hurt. Now get over here.”

  Wiping my eyes, I walked to him and forced down the pain that consumed me from the inside. He draped me over his lap, his thighs heating my abs as I tipped forward. I braced myself with both palms on the floor and teetered, feet in the air. He curled his fingers around my side and brought me against his waist.

  “You understand why you’re being punished so severely, right?”

  “Because I hit you.”

  “That’s part of it, yes, but you failed to trust me. You let someone else’s lies cloud your judgment. I own you, Kayla. Don’t you understand that you own me as well?” Goose bumps broke out on my skin, and the delicious chill spread when he squeezed my ass. “You’re mine, and I’m yours, and no one is coming between that.” He settled his hand at my side again. “If you get wet, I won’t let you come.”

  Shit. I was already turned on. When had this happened? When had being spanked and humiliated gone from scary to arousing? His return to my life had done something to me, as if he’d come back and flipped the switch he’d installed a year ago but hadn’t tripped. Until now.

  The paddle came down in quick succession, and I lost count as I howled. He put a lot of strength into those strikes, probably more than he ever had. I squirmed with each one, but still, moisture collected between my thighs. He’d discovered a new form of punishment—one that gave him exactly what he wanted. I couldn’t help my body’s response, and he knew it. Just like a couple of weeks ago, he’d deny me again.

  “No one is coming between us. Do you understand me, Kayla? Not Ian, not Katherine, no one.”

  “But Katherine wants to. Why?” I asked. “What’s your history with her?”

  “You want to ask questions?” The paddle hit my ass with two loud smacks. “One for every question.”

  I hissed in a breath. “I don’t care. I want to know.”

  “We had a casual arrangement for a few months. We fucked a few times a week, and she let me do whatever I wanted. I ended it when she said she loved me.”

  I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block out the image of them together, but it refused to vanish from my mind. “Did you bring her down here?”

  Another painful smack rent the air.

  “Yes.”

  “Was she better than me?”

  The question seemed to catch him off guard for a few moments, and his next strike was especially hard. “That’s a stupid question. No one compares to you. Come on, get up.” He dropped the paddle and helped me to my feet. “Spread your legs.” I did as told, and he slid his fingers into my drenched opening. “You are so busted,” he said with a smirk. He unzipped his pants and freed his erection.

  Our eyes met and held, and I knew he’d make me pay. He reached out, spun me around, and pulled me onto his lap so I sat astride but facing away. Grabbing my hips, he forced my body up and down his shaft, and I couldn’t control my moans.

  “I own you,” he said as he pushed deeper. “Say it.”

  “You own me.”

  His fingers dug into my hipbones. “I want to hear you say it, Kayla.”

  “You own me, Master.” I groaned as he hit my spot—the spot.

  I was going to come.

  He pulled me flush against him, cock buried deep, and went still. “You don’t have permission.”

  “I can’t help it, Gage. You feel so good.”

  “So do you,” he murmured. “But you’re not coming. If you can’t control yourself, then suck me off.”

  Resigned, I got to my knees and obeyed.

  15. O.M.G.

  I dreaded this day, possibly more than my approaching wedding day.

  Eve was going back to preschool.

  “Are you excited, baby?” I asked her.

  With a nod, she picked at her breakfast.

  “Nervous?” Gage used his fork to spear an untouched piece of sausage from her plate and brought it to her mouth. “Try it.” She took the bite and chewed slowly. “So what do you think?” he asked.

  “Good.”

  “So is preschool. You’ll make friends and learn things. Before long, you’ll be the smartest one in this house.”

  She giggled. “Will not! I’m only four.” Her face grew serious. “I don’t wanna leave.”

  “Why not?” I asked.

  “What if the teacher isn’t as nice as Ms. Barns? What if I miss you?”

  Her words impacted me like a punch to the gut. I hated the thought of her going back to school, but I had to put my selfish feelings aside. “Everyone will love you, and you’ll have so much fun you won’t have time to miss me. I promise.”

  After breakfast, I got Eve ready, and we waited by the front door for the bus to pull up. Gage watched as he loaded the dishwasher. He demonstrated an oddly domestic affinity in the kitchen. Rain fell outside, hitting the roof in a calming staccato beat, and drops of water squiggled down the window.

  “Bus is here,” I said.

  Eve gripped my hand. “Do I have to go?”

  I crouched in front of her. “Remember how much fun you had in Texas?”

  She nodded.

  “See? You’ll do great, and I’ll be here waiting when you get back.” I settled her Dora backpack onto her shoulders, adjusted her coat, and pulled the door open. We jogged through the downpour. Eve forced a smile, the picture of brave as she climbed those steps. The bus driver greeted her as I stood back, my eyes stinging as I folded my arms to ward off the chill. I watched the bus disappear around the corner before returning indoors, and without warning, tears erupted.

  Gage gathered me in his arms and just held me. The gesture was so sweet, so unlike him, that I clung to his body and soaked up every second. His embraced tightened, eliciting a sigh from my lips. If he’d hold me like this forever, maybe I’d be okay.

  He inched away with a frown. “You don’t look good.”

  “I don’t feel good.”

  He laced his fingers with mine and tugged me toward the hall. “Take a nap. I haven’t been letting you get enough sleep.”

  No, he’d been worshipping my body every night, when he wasn’t punishing me.

  He stalled at the door to our room and held it open for me. I’d just taken a step toward the bed when nausea rose so swiftly, I knew I wouldn’t make it to the bathroom in time. I sprinted anyway, determined not to make a mess, and slammed to the tile in front of the toilet. Chunks of sausage and eggs flew everywhere, mostly on the floor because I missed.

  “I’m sorry,” I mumbled after I’d purged the l
ast bit of substance from my stomach.

  “What the fuck for? Jeez, Kayla. Get up.” He pulled me to my feet and shoved a cool washcloth into my hands. “I’ll take care of the mess. Get in bed.”

  I climbed between the sheets, and a buzzing began in my ears, low at first until the sound grew so loud it made me dizzy. It wasn’t actual buzzing—not like what people sometimes experience when they suffer from vertigo. No, this buzzing was a disturbing realization that didn’t want to form in my mind.

  But it did, and it took me right back to the morning, so many years ago, when I awoke in Ian’s arms. I’d spewed chunks all over his floor then too, and later that day I’d stared at two lines while my mouth hung open, as if to catch flies.

  No. Impossible. I was on birth control.

  Except for Texas.

  Oh God.

  And we hadn’t exactly taken precautions during the seven day waiting period when I first began the birth control pills.

  Oh. My. God.

  “Gage?” My voice wasn’t my own. The high-pitched squeak belonged to some crazed woman who was a thread away from falling into the abyss.

  “Just a second. Be right there.”

  I heard water running and the opening and closing of cupboards before he entered the bedroom. The mattress pressed low where he sat behind me, but I couldn’t bring myself to turn and look at him. We’d never talked about kids. More kids, that was. He was patient and kind with Eve, more so than I ever imagined, but to add more children to this insane situation…well, that would be insane.

  But I was getting ahead of myself. I was sick from a bug or bad food or side effects from being on the pill.

  He settled his palm on my arm. “What can I do?”

  Why did he keep showing parts of himself that made me love him more? I couldn’t keep up with his personality shifts. “I think…I mean…”

  “Just spit it out, Kayla.”

  “I’m worried I’m…pregnant.” I peeked at him but saw no reaction on his face.