by J. P. Comeau
I shook my head. “Not in the slightest. It grew into something that I almost can’t manage, and I don’t want to do anything to jeopardize the little bit of stability I have managed to get into Asia’s life in the first place. I can’t bear the idea of rocking her world again, and for the worst.”
Jorge leaned back and sighed. “All right, I see why you wanted to talk.”
I folded my arms across my chest. “I’ve got this job and my feelings for Eva. I know this job is going to take me away for a few months. Asia will be in school, and she’ll be here without me. What if Marissa tries to swoop in and do shit while I’m gone? Will I even be able to get Eva the power of attorney she needs to deal with my ex’s bullshit?”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down. You’re going a bit too quickly. Let’s take this one step at a time. Okay? Have you thought about just taking Eva and Asia with you while you film? I’m sure Eva could homeschool your daughter while you’re working.”
I shrugged. “I mean, I thought about asking her, but I’m not sure how it would go over. Plus, she’d have to get certified to homeschool Asia. That certification would have to happen in California. I think you have to be a resident, and I’m just not sure if that’s feasible in this kind of time span.”
“All right, but you also won’t know shit until you involve Eva in this conversation and just ask. Does she know about this job?”
“I haven’t told her or Asia yet, no.”
He snickered. “Then, I’d start there and see what happens. You’re torturing yourself over what if’s when you’ve got someone who can answer those questions living under your damn roof now. See what I’m saying?”
I checked my watch. “If she’d ever get home from this doctor’s appointment.”
He paused. “How long has she been gone now?”
“Almost three hours.”
“That’s a pretty long appointment.”
I sighed. “I know, but I also gave her the day off to unpack and get settled in. Maybe she’s just running errands.”
“You sure about that?”
My eyes locked with his. “What does that mean?”
Jorge leaned forward. “For a guy who needs all the pieces in play before he makes a move, you’re doing a lot of assuming lately. If you’re worried about her, just call and make sure she’s okay. I’m sure she’ll appreciate the concern.”
Then, I spat out the big thing hovering around in my mind. “But, why go through all of this in the first place if I’m just going to up and move to California and leave all of this behind?”
Silence fell between us for a while before Jorge cleared his throat. He stood to his feet and backtracked into the kitchen to get us another set of beers, and even after he cracked his open, he didn’t speak.
It wasn’t until after he took a long pull from his can that he spoke. “I actually think that’s a good idea.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Wait, you do?”
He shrugged. “I mean, it makes sense. The bulk of your work is there, and Key Biscayne is a bit far away from your work.”
I chuckled. “And a fresh start after I get full custody of Asia would be nice.”
“I hear a ‘but’ coming.”
“But, I also don’t want to leave Eva behind. I’m serious when I say I love her. I want her to be included in this shit.”
He patted my knee. “Then, it sounds like you need to be talking to Eva instead of me about all of this.”
“And I’m not gonna lie, I feel like shit for ditching her for two weeks after everything that’s gone on between us. Then, doing it again at the end of the year? Through the holidays? That just doesn’t seem right.”
“Which means we’re back to you taking them with you, dude. Just do it. As long as Asia is taken care of, protected, and being schooled in some way, what’s the problem? You’re making this into a much bigger thing than it needs to be, I’m telling you.”
I set my unopened beer between my legs. “I don’t know. I don’t know how to explain it, but something just doesn’t feel right in all of this. And you know me, I can’t make a move until it all feels the way it’s supposed to feel. I mean, I just got the girl moved into a bedroom upstairs, and now I’m uprooting her to Hollywood? That doesn’t seem fair at all.”
“I suppose that depends on how you want to treat her.”
“What?”
He smirked. “Do you want to treat her like a girlfriend or an employee? Because an employee would step to the beat of your drum without hesitation, but a girlfriend is who you talk shit over like this with. Is she your employee, or is she your girlfriend?”
I scoffed. “Is it bad that I can’t even answer that question without it being complicated?”
He barked with laughter. “If you want to know what I think, here it is. I’m not the person you need to be talking to. This word vomit is meant to help you both clarify your thoughts and feelings. And if you really want to include her in all aspects of your life, then you need to talk with her the second she gets home. Don’t let another day go by without her knowing what the hell’s going on around her. She won’t appreciate it being dropped into her lap at the last minute because you couldn’t man up and talk to her.”
I felt more confused than ever before, but Jorge also had a good point. He could be a shoulder for me to lean on, but all of my answers would come when I spoke with Eva. I checked my watch, and worry started pooling in my gut. I pulled out my cell phone and checked my text messages, wondering if maybe I wasn’t feeling it vibrate or some shit.
And just as I went to dial Eva’s number, a call came through my phone from a number I didn’t recognize. “Well, that never happens,” I murmured.
“What?” Jorge asked.
I turned the phone to face him. “A number I don’t know.”
He furrowed his brow. “Give me that. I’ll answer it for you.”
I passed the phone off to him even though a sinking feeling filled my stomach.
“Hello?” Jorge asked when he answered.
I sat on the edge of my seat, watching his reactions. He stood to his feet slowly before he snapped his fingers, beckoning me to get up. And when I shot to my feet, he started nodding.
“Uh-huh. Uh-huh. I see. Yeah, I got it. Uh-huh, he’s right here.”
“Who is it?” I mouthed.
He put his finger up at me. “Uh-huh. Yep. I’ll tell him now. Yes, he’s on his way. Then—thank you. We appreciate it.”
Then, he hung up the phone call and tossed me my phone.
“Well?” I asked.
He chewed on the inside of his lip. “I’ll stay here with Asia, but you need to get to the hospital.”
I felt the world bottom out below me. “I’m sorry, what?”
He gripped my shoulders and shook me a bit. “Hospital, Gavin. Now. Eva’s been admitted. She passed out at her doctor’s appointment, and they called an ambulance. I’ve got Asia, but you need to go. Now.”
And the next thing I knew, I bolted out the door and sprinted straight to the garage, trying to make it to Eva’s side as quickly as I could get there.
22
Eva
My eyes opened slowly, and the first thing I smelled was disinfectant. The stench was so strong that it made my nose curl, and I shifted to get away from it. And when I moved, I heard a swarm of footsteps rocket toward me before a bright light shone in my eyes.
“Can you tell me your name?”
The deep, resonating voice rattled my ribcage. “Uh, Eva.”
“Good, good. Can you tell me the last thing you remember?”
The doctor’s office. “Sorry, where am I? Where’s Dr. Lucy.”
“At least she remembers that,” a female voice said.
“Can you open your mouth?”
I did as the voice asked of me, but I felt panic rising in my gut. Where the hell was I? Who were these people? This didn’t feel like Dr. Lucy’s office. For one, the bed in there wasn’t big enough to allow me to lay down. I shou
ldn’t have been lying down in the office.
Then, I felt someone messing with the top of my hand.
“Stop,” I murmured. And when I ripped it away, I brought my hand in front of my face only to see the IV protruding out of my skin. “I’m in a hospital?” I exclaimed.
“Where is she? Eva? Where are you?” Gavin’s voice sounded so far away, and yet it was crystal clear.
I batted away the hands and the questions, frustrated that no one would answer mine. I tried to prop myself up, but a pair of hands pressed against my shoulders.
“You need to lie down. You’ve been out for quite some time.”
“Eva!” Gavin exclaimed.
I cleared my throat. “Help! I’m in here, Gavin!”
The thundering of footsteps headed my way before people started grunting. I blinked to try to clear my vision, but it was fuzzy. Hazy. Like I had just taken a handful of narcotics or some shit like that. I put my hand up to try to take stock of the IV again, but instead, I felt something warm wrap around it. Something warm and familiar.
“I’m right here. It’s okay. Everything’s going to be just fine,” he cooed.
“Mr. Lincoln,” the booming voice said, “I didn’t realize she was with you.”
I looked over at Gavin. “What’s going on? Why am I here?”
He furrowed his brow. “They haven’t told you where you are yet?”
“She just woke up. We were trying to get a read on her vitals to make sure she didn’t sustain any head trauma when she passed out,” a female voice said.
Gavin didn’t take his eyes off me. “Thank you, nurse. I’ll take it from here, guys.”
“We still have tests to run. We don’t know why she fainted,” the deep voice said.
I sniffled. “I do.”
Gavin brushed my hair away from my forehead. “You know why you passed out in the doctor’s office?”
I nodded slowly. “Can you get everyone to leave? We really need to talk.”
With a flick of his wrist, the entire staff in my hospital room was gone. I heard a soft buzzing of the fluorescent lights blanketing us and rattling my eardrums. Gavin’s eyes were filled with worry, but I knew soon they would be filled with anger.
Is he going to leave me?
Fire me?
Make me get an abortion?
Tell me to fuck off?
“It’s okay; I promise you’re safe. But, we’re alone now. So, fill me in. What happened at your doctor’s appointment?” he asked softly.
How did I mess up so badly with those damn pills? “No one should ever find out something like this in this fashion. I’m really, really sorry. Everything has been such a whirlwind that I didn’t even realize it.”
“Realize what, beautiful?”
“Please, don’t hate me.”
He snickered. “I could never hate you, Eva. Okay? Just—just put my mind at ease. Tell me what’s going on.”
My mind tried to formulate a plan as he kissed each knuckle on the hand of mine that he held. I had to find another excuse. I had to lie to him, just until I got out of this hospital. Then, we could have a formal conversation about it. Then, I could get myself out of the way if he decided he couldn’t handle what was going on.
“What are these?” Gavin asked.
When I focused back on Gavin, I saw him picking up the bag. My eyes bulged as he reached inside, and it felt like the entire world had slowed down completely. I felt my heart screaming, no! I felt my gut screaming, “just do it!” The entire world I had created for myself was slipping between my fingers like sand on the beach.
And when he pulled out the bottles of prenatal pills at the bottom of the bag, his stare came back to mine. “Eva?” he asked.
I started rambling as tears lined my eyes. “I swear, I didn’t plan this. After every encounter, I left to go get the Plan B pill. Well, I left to go back to my place, and then I went to get the Plan B pill because the pharmacies were never open that late. But, I did everything I could. I took that pill within twenty-four hours after every sexual encounter we had. I actually made the doctor’s appointment to get on regular birth control pills! I was careful, Gavin. I promise you that I didn’t plan this. It wasn’t some trap. I’m not that woman; I’d stake my soul on it. And I can still work. I’ll still take care of Asia, and nothing—not even any sort of morning sickness or whatever—will keep me from taking absolute care of your daughter. I just fainted when Dr. Lucy told me I was pregnant, that’s all. That’s literally all that happened.”
By the time I was done rambling, I had started panting for air. I heard the beeping of my heart monitor slowly ticking up with each second that passed. I watched Gavin as he studied the bottle of pills in his hand. His eyes kept sliding from my face to the bag, back to my face, and then the bag again. As if he couldn’t decide whether he was dreaming or awake.
“Please say something,” I whimpered.
And when his stare came back to my watery gaze, he blinked. “You’re pregnant?”
I nodded, trying to gain my composure. “Yes, I’m pregnant. But, I promise you I don’t need to be fired. I might have to slow down a bit during my last trimester, but it won’t get in the way of taking care of Asia. You don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to, either. I won’t take your money, or take you to court, or do any of the things your ex has done to you. I just want to keep my job. That job is the only thing that will enable me to provide for this child if I actually carry it to term. I’m pretty sure I’m only, like, five weeks along. So, for all I know, I’ll just have a late period, and that’ll be that.”
Gavin cocked his head. “We’re—we’re pregnant?”
A tear slid down my cheek. “Yeah. We’re pregnant.”
Then, the deep, resonant voice that greeted me the second I woke up filled the room again. “We’d like to get an ultrasound, too, just to make sure everything is okay.”
I jumped at the sound of his voice. “Can you guys just leave us alone?”
Gavin rubbed his hand against my arm. “We just need a little longer, thank you.”
The doctor nodded before backing out the door, and I closed my eyes. My head fell back against the pillows, and I couldn’t contain my sobs any longer. The past few weeks had been such a whirlwind, and I had no idea my life could change so quickly, and all of the stressors just came pouring out in the form of tears.
“Please, don’t cry,” Gavin whispered.
He bent forward and kissed the shell of my ear, whispering sweet nothings as I turned toward him. I scooted to the edge of the hospital bed, wanting nothing more than his comfort as my life spiraled out of control. My sobs hiccuped my chest. My tears drenched the skin of my neck. I wailed out into the room, unable to contain the hurt and the confusion and the pain and the uncertainty of what was to come.
“Scoot over, let me get in with you,” he whispered.
I didn’t question his words, and I didn’t question his motives. Instead, I did what I always did—I listened. I scooted over, and Gavin slipped beneath the covers with me before he cradled me in his arms. I placed my cheek against his chest and listened to the steady rhythm of his heart beating. The heart monitor in the background raged out of control as my pulse skyrocketed and plummeted with my panicked episodes. I cried until I couldn’t breathe. I cried until I snorted and wheezed to try to get more air so I could cry harder.
And after my body finally settled down, Gavin kissed the top of my head. “We’re really pregnant,” Gavin whispered.
I sniffled and looked up into his face, readying myself to apologize again. But instead, I saw him staring at the ceiling with a smile on his face. With tears in his eyes. And it gave me hope.
“Yeah, we really are,” I said softly.
He peeked down at me, and I giggled when I saw a tear streak his cheek. He smiled as he kissed my forehead again, and his smile filled me with hope. He wasn’t angry with me. How was that even possible?
I reached up and brushed his tear away a
s he dried my cheeks with his own fingertips. I nestled tightly against him, feeling him pull me steadily closer. I took a chance and kissed the crook of his neck, seeking the smallest bit of his warmth for myself.
Then, his fingers gripped my chin before pulling my gaze upward. “We need to get you that ultrasound,” he said.
And before I could speak, his lips fell against mine.
My heart stopped in my chest. My heart rate monitor settled to almost nothing for a brief second, and I heard the door to my room slam open. That doctor outside started murmuring orders to his staff of nurses, asking them to get an ultrasound machine in the room and to fetch the OB on-call. I lost myself in the way Gavin’s tongue massaged the roof of my mouth. I reveled in the way he sucked on my lower lip. I turned into him, ready to take him into my arms and make love to him right in that damn hospital bed until one of the nurses cleared her throat.
“I hate to interrupt, but we can make it quick,” she said.
I giggled as Gavin nodded. “Of course. Let me get up. Will we be doing it in here?”
An unfamiliar face slipped into the room. “My name is Dr. Emilia Johnson. I’m the OB on-call this week. I’ll only be doing this particular ultrasound, and then from here, the two of you can talk about who you might want to book regular appointments with. And I promise this hospital uses the utmost discretion. We take our confidentiality agreements very seriously.”
Gavin stood up and held my hand. “I appreciate it, thank you.”
I nodded. “Me, too. Thank you very much.”
I watched as everyone got set up and readied all of the ultrasound equipment. The OB turned off the overhead lights, and the ultrasound technician asked for permission to roll up my shirt. The crystal-blue goop she squirted onto my stomach made me shiver from head to toe. But, the warmth of the ultrasound wand slowly warmed me up. Gavin held my hand, our fingers intertwined as the probe got pushed around and shoved into my abdomen as tightly as I could stand it.
Then, right there in the middle of the screen, it happened. A small black and white circle popped up.
“There’s the little guy,” the technician murmured.
