Mumma's House

by Ike Hamill

  Deidra shook her head. “You’re telling it all wrong.”

  “Oh?” Auggie said.

  “That’s the way I always heard it,” June said. “You’ve never heard this before?” she asked, pointing to Henry’s wide-eyed, curious look.

  “Nope,” he said.

  “Here’s what really happened,” Deidra said to Henry. “I saw them take away the stepladder, but I realized that there was one of those rolling ladders on a rail that was just around the corner. It was at the end of the shelf down near my foot. I didn’t want to shift all my weight in that direction because I realized that the strongest part of the shelf was in the middle, where the center support held up the top.”

  “And she was a small kid,” June said. “A normal kid might have crashed through.”

  “No,” Deidra said. “This thing was solid. Anyway, that’s why I had my foot over the edge. I was trying to use my toe to hook the rail of the ladder so I could roll it around the corner. I knew it would shift with my weight, but it was better than nothing at all.”

  “Why on earth wouldn’t you simply call for help?” Henry asked. “You’re always telling Penny that there’s nobility in asking for help.”

  Deidra gestured with her hands and rolled her eyes. “This is why. I was too embarrassed to ask for help and you can imagine what happened.”

  It wasn’t clear that Henry was willing to imagine what happened. He motioned to Auggie who was more than willing to fill in the details.

  “Like she said, she hooked the upright of the ladder and pulled it around the corner on its rollers. She wasn’t prepared for how heavy the thing was, or how her foot would get looped through and her shoelace would get pulled into the bearings. The next thing she knew, every part of her foot was completely snagged in the ladder. A girl in the next row of shelves saw the ladder gently rolling back and forth. She must have thought that a ghost was swinging on the ladder because the girl gave a little scream and ran away. Poor Deidra was trapped and she was pretty sure that the authorities were on their way.”

  “They were,” Deidra said. “I could hear the girl shouting to the librarian.”

  “That’s when she really panicked. One way or the other, she was going to pull her shoe off her foot and get free. That’s not what happened though. The rocking motion had picked up a sympathetic rhythm down in the shelves. The bulky books were swaying in time. To Deidra, it felt like things were finally beginning to shake loose. In reality, the top-heavy bookshelves were breaking free from their moorings and getting ready to take a little trip.”

  “Mom?” a little voice asked. “Can I get the hot glue?”

  June gave a quick nod and a wave. Gus ran down, grabbed a plastic container from the low shelf of a rack, and ran back up the stairs.

  “Deidra tried to steady the shelves.”

  “It was like surfing, in a way. You know that feeling when everything below you works to propel you forward even though, in a way, it doesn’t feel like anything is moving horizontally at all?” she asked.

  “Nope,” Henry said to Deidra.

  “The first book slipped from the top shelf. Deidra saw it start to go and she swiped a hand towards it, missing. It was one of those great, big, thick books with one of those swirly covers that is made by hand in England.”

  “How do you know all this?” Deidra whispered.

  “Her fingers just brushed the smooth edge of the paper as the reference book slid off the shelf. Her leaning weight only added to the sway. When the book dropped, the shelf started back the other direction, picking up speed. The book hit the floor perfectly flat, sounding like a gunshot, and a few people screamed. They were already tensed up because of the girl who was screaming about ghosts and the sound of that first book started a panic. A second later, when the shelf tipped the other direction, a half-dozen more books fell and they sounded like a pack of firecrackers when they smacked down.”

  June started to laugh into her hand.

  “Deidra slipped almost all the way off the other side and her foot was still stuck. Her own weight began to wrench her ankle and knee, and she erupted in a mournful, low moan. The kids thought that the ghost was loose and shooting up the place. Their screams intensified as Deidra began to swing back the other direction.”

  Reliving the embarrassment, Deidra hunched over until her head was between her knees. She interlaced her hands around the back of her neck.

  “By this point, Deidra was pretty sure how this was going to end. She was going to fall over the edge and get crushed when the shelf collapsed into its neighbor. Resigned to her fate, as the shelf crossed back to tip the other direction, she threw herself over the edge.”

  “It wasn’t like that,” Deidra said. She lifted up enough to clarify. “I was desperate, and I thought that maybe if I could drop down below, to where there would be a protected triangle of space, that I could survive when it crashed down. I wanted to avoid being pinched between.”

  “What about your leg?” June asked.

  “I had to sacrifice my leg,” Deidra said.

  “As it turned out, you didn’t,” Auggie said, taking back the narrative. “The shelf had a mind of its own. It had no intention of falling the direction that Deidra had committed to. Instead, after dropping another salvo of books towards the floor, the shelf began one final swing with Deidra riding what was going to be the topside. It was still gaining speed as it hit the adjacent shelf. That one was no match for the momentum. You can imagine what happened next. They all began to fall. Enormous dominoes crashed down, spilling their books. It was lucky that all of the screaming had emptied the library.”

  “There was almost nobody in there anyway. It was summer,” Deidra said.

  “She flipped over and rolled. Her foot pulled free from the ladder and Deidra landed directly on her feet. She was the world’s luckiest library gymnast, sticking her dismount as the shelves destroyed themselves around her.”

  Deidra put a hand over her eyes and shook her head.

  “And it was all completely anonymous,” Auggie said. “The librarian had no idea that Deidra was involved. She grabbed little Deidra by the shoulders, marveled that she appeared okay, and told her to run to safety. For one stunned second, Deidra just stood there, mouth agape. Then, she followed the orders, running away from the chaos of destroyed shelves.”

  Auggie took a drink.

  “That’s it?” Henry asked. “So nobody knew?”

  “Nope,” Auggie said, taking another sip.

  # # # #

  “I mean, yup. Let me explain—of course everyone knew. It wouldn’t be much of a story if nobody ever found out, right?” Auggie asked. “The problem was the shoelace. Deidra only made it two steps when she tripped on her loose shoelace. It was torn and covered with grease from the ladder and it sent Deidra sprawling. She rolled over, hands all rug-burned, and she tried to tie it. Her hands got all greasy and she started to cry as she tried to tie her shoe while the librarian shouted and shrieked about all the overturned shelves and destroyed books. If she had been a little quicker, or maybe if she had ignored the shoelace and gotten back to her feet, she wouldn’t have been sitting there crying when the vice principal came running to see what all the noise was about.”

  “I hate that man,” Deidra said. “It wasn’t his fault, but I hate him.”

  “He took one look at pitiful Deidra and he guessed the whole story. She still would have been okay if she had simply denied everything. She could have said the tears were because of the trauma and people would have believed her. But Deidra caved immediately. ‘You did this?’ the vice principal demanded. Deidra only cried harder and nodded her head.”

  “Wow,” Henry said when silence had fallen. “Did they make you pay for all the damage?”

  “No,” Deidra said. “They had insurance, of course, but I was doomed. They didn’t want me to attend that high school and I was mortified by the idea as well, of course. My father had recently died and when my mother suggested that I move to
Mumma’s house, I jumped at the chance. I would be able to start over in a new school where nobody knew my name.”

  “Ha!” June said. “Sorry,” she said, laughing more.

  “Of course my reputation preceded me,” Deidra said.

  “They were still talking about it by the time I got to high school, and Deidra had graduated eight years before.”

  “You asked how I knew so much about the story?” Auggie asked. “I heard about it from no less than twenty people who all claimed they were there. You were the biggest news I had ever heard in my entire life. I knew about you before I even made the connection that they were talking about my own cousin.”

  “So,” Deidra said to Henry, “I moved here, into Mumma’s house, so I could get into Scribner High and go to school with these monsters. Some of my friends knew, but mostly my story spread in the lower grades. I was more of a celebrity with the incoming freshman than I was with my own graduating class.”

  “Wow,” Henry said again. “I’ve been married to a celebrity, all this time, and I didn’t even know.”

  “That’s the funny part, but not even the weirdest part,” June said.

  They all turned to her. Even Auggie raised his eyebrows.

  “You guys have all moved away. You don’t even know the story that they’re still telling,” June said.

  “I heard some kids talking about it at a parent-teacher night in the grammar school. They still talk about the day that all the bookcases fell over, but they don’t know your name anymore.”

  June pointed to Deidra.

  “They talk about it like it happened in Maranacook Middle school, and there’s no kid involved at all. In their version, a ghost knocked over all the bookshelves and killed the librarian and a bus driver. The shelves were removed from the high school, cut down, and put in storage. Years later, they were recycled into the middle school library when they renovated. They have been refinished and strengthened and they look fantastic, but there are still a few scars in the wood from the fall. That’s what the kids point to when they talk about the ghost.”

  “That’s amazing,” Deidra said. “I’ve been replaced by a ghost.”

  “Three ghosts, now,” June said. “There’s the original ghost who knocked over the shelves, but the kids are also afraid of the ghosts of the librarian and the bus driver.”

  “Amazing,” Deidra said.

  “Stories always morph. It’s the old telephone game. I wonder what they will call it in a few generations. Calling it ‘the telephone game’ won’t make much sense, since nobody talks on them anymore. It’s hard to lose the message when they’re just copied and pasted,” Auggie said.

  “I’ll start moving the kids towards bed. They’ll need their rest for tomorrow,” Deidra said.

  “Let them stay up,” Henry said. “They’re going to be up until midnight on New Year’s, right? Let them stay up tonight and then sleep in tomorrow. They can shift their schedules and maybe not get so manic.”

  Deidra thought about it for a second and then sat back down. “For once, you had an idea that’s not terrible. Congrats.”

  Henry laughed.

  “I’m going to walk to the end of the driveway and see if I got any messages from Kate,” Auggie said. It took him three good tries to get up out of the chair. He grunted when he finally tipped forward and got to his feet.

  “How did you get older than the rest of us?” Deidra said.

  Auggie scowled at first and then laughed with everyone else.

  Chapter 5 : Jules

  “COME IN, COME IN,” June said. She gave her brother Jules a quick hug and turned away as he tried to give her a peck on the cheek. “It’s freezing out there.”

  “I’m actually enjoying it, for once,” Jules said. “I’ve missed the freezing cold, you know. Those cold-shock proteins flood your system and wake up instincts that have gone dormant. It’s high time to conquer and burn.” He made a fist and thrust his arm forward with the pronouncement.

  “Where is everyone? Not up yet?”

  “Getting ready,” June said. “Auggie is head chef. Deidra has the kids helping to redd up the rooms.”

  Jules tilted his head back to laugh.

  “I thought you were bringing…” June peered out through the window as she spoke, like she thought that maybe there was still someone outside.

  “Wendy is coming,” Jules said. “Just not today. She said she was going to let us have our pagan ritual on our own and she will join us in the new year.”

  “Oh,” June said.

  “Trust,” Jules said. It took June a moment to realize that this was an order. “She has terrific instincts about these kinds of things.”

  “Why don’t you head for the kitchen and see if Auggie needs help?”

  “Sure thing. You coming? I was hoping we could catch up?”

  “I’m sort of waiting for Kate and the girls. They’re coming back. Can you believe it?”

  “Why wouldn’t they?” Jules asked.

  “They’re always out at her sister’s for New Year’s. You remember.”

  “Really? I remember them being here,” Jules said.

  “You’re as bad as Gus. He was just saying the same thing the other day. You have some idealized memory of New Year’s that the present can never live up to, you know?”

  Jules didn’t respond. He only locked eyes with her and smiled, like he could see the machinery that made her tick.

  “I’ll track down big brother,” he said. He left her at the door.

  # # # #

  “Foggy Auggie,” Jules said, pushing through the door.

  His brother had a kitchen towel over his shoulder and giant oven mitts that cradled an enormous bean pot.

  “Jules!” Auggie cheered. “Come top me off, would you?”

  Jules rushed to the counter where the measuring cup sat. He poured enough water to cover the tops of the beans and then Auggie carried his load back towards the open oven. When he had slipped the pot back between the racks, he shut the oven and dropped his mitts.

  The brothers hugged.

  “How have you been? Where’s Wind?”

  “She prefers Wendy now,” Jules said. “She’s coming. She’s coming. Giving us a little space for our…” Jules dipped and swayed while he demonstrated a back and forth with his hands that made Auggie tilt his head in confusion.

  “You know—family stuff,” Jules explained.

  “Okay?” Auggie said. “She’s welcome to attend, of course, but whatever. Tell me what you’ve been up to.”

  “Coffee,” Jules said, spreading his fingers and tensing his hands like he was about to catch a ball.

  “You want some? Henry made some this morning.”

  “No, you asked what I’ve been up to. We’re growing, roasting, and selling coffee beans. These aren’t just any beans. They’re the fountain of youth.”

  “Sounds promising.”

  “You don’t know the half of it. Profits are up and expenses are down. We’re killing the coffee game. At a time when everyone is thinking about the distribution, we’re supplying the suppliers. It’s all gravy.”

  “Awesome. Did you bring any? We’re actually running low,” Auggie said, pointing at the bag next to the pot.

  “I never use it, actually. I have to maintain a professional distance, you know? It’s the same as any drug dealer.”

  Auggie nodded and put his hands on his hips.

  “Okay. Sure. You still make bread?”

  “Like none you’ve ever tasted,” Jules said. “You have any yogurt?”

  “I’m sure there is some in the fridge. Actually, it may be in June’s little fridge.”

  “Doesn’t matter. I can substitute if I have to,” Jules said. He rolled up his sleeves and then moved to the sink. There, he started scrubbing his hands.

  Auggie watched for a moment and then bent to pull bags from a lower cabinet. In one, he crumpled a receipt and then pulled a new bag of flour out. He put it on the counter and turned to h
unt down other ingredients.

  “I’ve never had yogurt bread, I don’t think. I’ll go get some for you.”

  “No need,” Jules said. “I’ve already changed my mind. I’ll throw together a sourdough that will knock you out.”

  The door from the back part of the house pushed open and Deidra came through. She collapsed into a chair at the little table and then spotted Jules.

  “Jules!” she said, getting up with her arms wide. They embraced and twirled before they broke apart and she fell back into her chair.

  “How was your trip?”

  “Fine,” Jules said. “Normal. How are you? You look exhausted.”

  “I’m good. You’re right, though. Those kids and my husband are about to wear me out.”

  Auggie put a mug in front of her and poured coffee until she raised a hand to stop him. He returned with the milk and she added some until the color was right.

  “Henry is suddenly an expert at cleaning. I can’t tell you how tiring it is to listen to a speech about how I’ve been doing everything wrong all these years. We got a new administrative coordinator at school last year. Same thing.”

  “Oh?” Jules said. He sat down across from his cousin and propped up his chin with one hand. “How is teaching?”

  “The teaching part is good. I wish I got to do more of it,” Deidra said. She sighed and put her hand on her forehead. “We have such a large immigrant community at our school. Don’t get me wrong, I love the diversity of my classroom. I love the fact that all my kids get such a rich experience, interacting with people from some of the farthest corners of the world. I think it helps us really understand the American experiment when we meet people who are seeing our advantages with fresh eyes.”

  Auggie dug under a counter and found a large mixing bowl. He set it down in front of Jules.

  “But…” Jules said.

  “But, kids are such little sponges. Their parents only want what’s best for their own child, right? They might be perfectly happy with the idea that our community is a melting pot, you know? We all—most of us, at least—want to live in a place that’s so welcoming and so prosperous that it attracts those less fortunate who leave their birthplaces and seek refuge.”