Say You're Mine

by Alexis Winter

  “If you don’t want me to go with you, you just have to say so. Just because we’ve put a title on this now doesn’t mean I’m going to be with you every minute of every day.”

  “I know,” she stops her tracing, her eyes now finding mine again. “I’m just… I don’t know if I’m going to be good at this whole girlfriend thing.”

  “Hey,” I place a kiss on her forehead, hoping that helps dissipate some of the nerves she’s feeling now. “Why would you say that?”

  “Because I’ve never done this before, not really,” she takes a breath and tries to look away, but I take her chin in my fingers, making her look at me for this. “I’ve dated, but every guy I’ve been with was fine keeping things casual. Then here you come, all Mr. Sneaky Alpha and next thing I know I’m dressing in a couples costume and planning combined grocery lists. This is just a lot for me, so you’re going to need to take this slow. I’m going to need to take this slow.”

  I kiss her gently, hoping that conveys to her that I heard, and will listen, to everything she just admitted to me. I know that couldn’t have been easy for her. At work, Detective Amanda O’Donald can’t show weakness. She can’t show fear. It could cost her life. Literally.

  She could have kept her guard up to me, kept that wall out that blocked her fear and insecurities. But she didn’t. And just that action alone makes me know she’s in this. With me.

  “We will take all the time you need. You’re in the driver’s seat,” I take her hand, threading our fingers together and place them over my heart. “Thank you for being honest with me.”

  “Thank you for making me get my head out of my ass,” she says with a chuckle, lightening the mood a bit.

  “Speaking of ass,” I say, grabbing her cheeks and rolling her on top of me, a giggle escaping her mouth. “This one looked fantastic last night.”

  She begins to grind on my growing erection, which let’s be honest, has been half hard all morning. That’s what happens when I wake up naked next to her.

  “Yours didn’t look so bad yourself.”

  She leans down and our mouths find each other. The kiss begins playful, but as soon as our tongues sweep against each other, all thoughts of playful are out the door.

  I roll us to our sides, lifting her leg over mine as my hand travels to her center. My fingers find her wet folds and I quickly put two in, working her as I place kisses up and down her shoulder.

  Beep Beep Beep.

  At first, I don’t hear it, and neither does she, both of us too wrapped up in what we are both wanting to happen. But as her phone continues to sound, neither of us can ignore it anymore.

  Reluctantly, she rolls away from me, my fingers coated in her wetness as she reaches for her phone on the bedside table.

  “Fuck... I have to go.”

  She gets up, grabbing my denim shirt from last night and puts it over her shoulders. I adjust myself, mentally telling my cock that’s now hard as steel to settle down.

  “I’m sorry Ben. That’s work… I… well I can’t tell you much more, but I have to go.”

  I knew this could happen, and that it will happen in the future. Amanda doesn’t have a regular 9 to 5 like me. Clients don’t call me on the weekend curious about their portfolios. This call came in the daytime, but I know that she could get a call in the middle of the night and she’d have to leave me, and many times not tell me where she’s going or when she’ll be back.

  This is why she was reluctant. This part right here. I can see it in her eyes now.

  And I know what I need to do.

  “You have work to do. Important work,” I reach for her hand and pull her back toward me, planting a kiss on her lips. “Go catch some bad guys. I’ll be here when you get back.”

  Chapter 19

  Amanda

  There have only been a few times in my life when I hated being a detective and wondered what it would be like to work a normal job.

  The first time was when I was shot. It’s also the only time I’ve been shot. I remember laying in the hospital bed thinking to myself, “who in their right mind would volunteer for this?” But those thoughts didn’t last too long.

  The second time was today, leaving a naked Ben in his bed.

  It’s not like we were going to have an extravagant day. We were going to go grocery shopping. You can’t get any more ordinary than that.

  And even though it took me a while to come to terms with the fact that indeed I am, and have been, in a relationship with Ben, today was going to be our first day officially as boyfriend and girlfriend. I know I sound like a giddy teenager, but I was looking forward to it.

  But instead, here I am, sitting at a dive bar in a part of town that no one should be alone at, even in the middle of the day, waiting on an informant who promised he’d be here 20 minutes ago.

  Sitting in a bar like this reminds me of when Kalum was my informant. It feels like just yesterday all that went down, but it was nearly two years ago. And all because of that case, my life has changed in so many ways.

  Had I not sought Kalum’s help, I wouldn’t have reconnected with him, Maverick or Jaxson. I wouldn’t have become friends with Tori, Annabelle and Scarlett.

  And I wouldn’t have a boyfriend right now.

  I take out my phone, smiling as I look through pictures from last night. Oh my gosh, we look more ridiculous than I thought. But I also see something else when I look through the photos. We look happy. I look happy.

  Really, truly, happy.

  “Whoa! That you?” Collin, my barely legal, red-headed informant says as he takes a seat next to me. “Lookin’ good Mandy!”

  I lock my screen and turn the phone upside down. “It’s Detective O’Donald and quit looking.”

  “Oh come on! You were my first crush. Let a boy live his dream.”

  I shake my head, guiding him back to a booth away from anyone who could hear us.

  “I’m pretty sure you lived your dream the day you stole one of my bras. Now talk Colin. What are you hearing? Or did you call me here because you were bored?”

  The good thing about growing up in the city, and specifically on the Southside, is that I have contacts like this. Yes, Collin’s balls might have just dropped last week, and the kid will snitch on you in a heartbeat, but for what I need him for, he’s a good person to know. And Collin is the perfect person to drop in somewhere when I need information. Standing at 5-foot-9 and weighing 150 pounds soaking wet, no one is intimidated by him. Hell, the only time people know he’s there is when he says something stupid. He’s always just the guy who’s always there, so people talk around him.

  No threat. Or at least they think.

  So he keeps me informed what my Irish friends are up to and in return, when he’s a dumbass and gets picked up for a minor drug charge, which is usually once every six months, I pull some strings for him. It’s a win-win.

  “Definitely. I’m guessing you’ve heard about the gambling going on at Mr. Abruzzi’s shop?”

  I nod. “Yeah, but what’s the catch? Gambling isn’t illegal anymore, well most of it. And the ones that aren’t yet are about to be.”

  Collin looks around, making sure no one is listening nearby. “From what I’ve heard, the gambling is a front. That it’s not just a high-stakes poker game going on if you know what I mean.”

  No, I don’t know what he means. In this city, and especially if the Irish mob is involved, that could mean a lot of things.

  “How about you spell it out for me Collin?”

  He sighs. “Well… I can’t…”

  “What do you mean you can’t?”

  “I mean, I can’t because I’m not sure exactly. No one has said anything specific. All I know is that Mr. Abruzzi’s kid is in deep with the Flannerys, so he started running a high-stakes poker game after his dad closed up the shop each night to try and make up the money. But from what I’ve heard, and this is just me piecing things together, is that the Flannerys are now using the game for more… shady things.”


  The Flannerys are no joke. Every city has that one family that everyone knows is dirty but you can never tie them to anything. In Chicago, that is the Flannerys. Hell, six years ago I was ready to bet my career that they were behind the racketeering ring, but their hands were clean. Well, at least with the evidence we had. The feds decided they had enough people to take down for it and closed the case, hoping one of them would try and cut a deal and rat out someone in the Flannery family.

  No one took the bait.

  “Do you think you can get any more for me?”

  He tries to flash me a sly smile, but on him it just looks like half of his mouth is paralyzed. “What’s in it for me?”

  “I’ll continue to keep your ass out of jail when you’re too much of a dumbass to hide the weed.”

  He nods. “That’s fair. I’ll see what I can get you. Same time next week?”

  I shake my head. “No. You text me when you hear anything. Day or night. If it is what I think it might be, we don’t have time to wait around.”

  Collin leaves first, leaving me sitting in the back of this shady bar alone going over all the things he said.

  I had a feeling that the Irish were almost too quiet. And if the Flannerys are involved, this is bigger than I imagined.

  But maybe this is finally the time I’ll be able to put them away. For good.

  Chapter 20

  Ben

  “You ready?”

  “Almost!” I yell as I slip my jeans on. I would have been ready 15 minutes ago if someone -- specifically my horny girlfriend -- wouldn’t have attacked me the second she walked into my house.

  Not that I’m complaining.

  I come down the stairs from my bedroom to find Amanda sitting on the couch checking something on her phone, looking very much not like the woman who just had two orgasms. Well, except for the flush that is still coloring her cheeks.

  “Where are you going tonight?” she asks as she looks me up and down, a questioning tone to her voice.

  “Same place you are.”

  She shakes her head as she stands up, walking toward me. “I am wearing leggings and a hoodie, which is what is appropriate to wear when you are watching two children under the age of 5.” She places a gentle kiss on my lips before smoothing out the non-existent wrinkle in my sweater, “You my dear, look like it’s date night.”

  “Whatever. Don’t be a hater,” I grab her ass and give her a little bit of a harder kiss before I break it off. We’ll never make it to Scarlett and Maverick’s house if we go down that road again. “I look good and you know it.”

  The smirk on her lips makes me know I’m right, and yeah, I know this is a little overdressed to babysit Grant and Evan, but it is a night I’m spending with Amanda. So I want to look good. Sue me.

  “Babe, I have to go upstairs and grab my wallet. Can you do me a favor and grab the mail for me? I’m expecting a package.”

  We go our separate ways and I’m back downstairs in a minute, but apparently, it’s long enough for something to capture Amanda’s attention.

  “Why is someone writing to you from prison?”

  Her question stops me in my tracks. Shit. This wasn’t how she was supposed to find out that my halfbrother is a convicted felon.

  “It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it. We need to get going.”

  My words do nothing as she takes a seat on one of the barstools around my kitchen counter. The one that has become my favorite simply because of what we have done on it, more than a couple times.

  “We have a few minutes. Talk to me. Why do you have a letter from the federal prison?”

  I take a seat next to her, mentally beating myself up for not telling her sooner. Maybe this was the push I needed. It’s not like there’s a good way to bring this up.

  “Before I start, I want you to know that I wasn’t hiding anything from you on purpose. Well I was, but not because I didn’t trust you or want to tell you… I just… I didn’t know how.”

  She nods, encouraging me to go on. Though I don’t know now if I want to.

  “Do you remember when you asked me if I had any siblings, and I told you I had a brother I didn’t see very often?”

  “Yeah…”

  I take a deep breath, pulling in my strength to say the words I’ve never admitted to anyone. “The reason I don’t is that he’s in prison.”

  She looks at me, confusion written all over her face.

  “Is that it?” she asks.

  “Well yes… no… I mean that’s the basics.”

  She reaches for my hand, which I give to her, appreciating the comfort this gives.

  “Before I ask anything else, I just want to know… why didn’t you tell me?”

  I sweep a piece of hair behind her ear, taking my time to think of the correct, and truthful, answer.

  “Because I liked… I do like… God, I like being with you so much. And I didn’t want to mess that up. What would you have done if I dropped the bomb on you that my brother was in federal prison right when we were trying to figure us out?”

  “I get that. I do. I’m sure it can’t be easy to talk about. And I’m also sure that my job didn’t help matters. But please know, I’m not going to judge you based on the actions of your brother. He made his choices, and you’ve made yours. They don’t reflect on you.”

  I lean down, needing to feel her lips on mine. I don’t know how I thought this conversation would go, but I didn’t expect this well.

  “Do you want to know more?” I ask her.

  “Whatever you want to tell me.”

  I take a breath, weighing how much I want to lay on her tonight. “He’s my half brother. About 12 years older than me. My mom had him when she was young, and he didn’t move with us to Naperville. Honestly, I have very few memories of him from when I was growing up. By the time I was 10, I had to be reminded that I even had a brother.”

  Amanda is now rubbing small circles on my back, which calm me. Though I don’t know why I need it. Maybe because I’ve never told anyone about Aiden. The only people who know about him are my parents. But having her listen right now, it’s freeing. A weight is lifting off my shoulders.

  “A few years ago my mom was purging a bunch of boxes and clutter, and I stumbled on a picture of us from when I was a baby. He was holding me like a proud big brother would. I hadn’t asked about him in years and my mom never talked about him. Hell, he’s never allowed her to visit. I stared at that photo for weeks before I decided to start writing to him.

  “It took me writing him six letters before he agreed to let me come see him. That was two years ago. That’s where I go once a month... to visit him. I’ve learned a lot about him, or well, the man he is now. It’s been… nice… which I know sounds crazy because he’s in prison. But I finally am getting to know my brother.”

  Amanda’s hands travel from my back to around my neck as she stands, hugging me with all that she has in her petite, yet strong, frame.

  “It’s not crazy at all,” she says, her cheek against my chest. “Thank you for telling me.”

  Right here, in this moment, I know Amanda is in this with me. She doesn’t care that she’s a detective, or that she might know of my brothers’ case. Right now she’s my girlfriend. My confidant. My best friend.

  And if I wasn’t doing it already, I might have begun falling in love with her right now.

  Chapter 21

  Amanda

  Once I went to a career day at an elementary school and one of the kids asked me if I was a superhero. His reasoning? I caught bad guys and tried to make the world a safer place. Logical reasoning for a 7-year-old.

  After tonight, I now know I’m not a superhero. You want to know who is? Scarlett.

  I’m wiped the hell out from watching Grant and Evan for four hours. And I had Ben to help me, who made my ovaries explode more than a few times because he is amazing with children. How in the hell she was a working, single mom for the first few years of Grant’s life I will never
know.

  Again. Superhero.

  “Well, they are finally asleep,” Ben says, joining me on Maverick’s oversized, and comfy as hell, sectional. “Why do you look like you’ve been on a three-day bender? Didn’t you used to babysit in high school?”

  I laugh, sitting up a little bit as I snuggle into Ben’s arms. “Yes, I did. But that was 15 years and about 30 pounds ago. Plus… you were here. You saw them. They never stop. I swear the kids I used to babysit were not as active as they are. My question is how do you not look like you’ve been on one? You didn’t even break a sweat!”

  It’s Ben’s turn to laugh as we flip on the television, trying to find something to watch as we wait for Scarlett and Maverick to get back from their date night. Normally, Tori and Kalum would watch the boys, or even Maverick’s mom, but a nasty virus was going around. It hadn’t hit Ben or I yet, so we were the lucky babysitting winners.

  And I honestly don’t mind. Grant and Evan are good kids. And they are my favorite kind of kids -- ones I get to give back after a few hours.

  “I guess I’m just better at this babysitting game than you are,” he says, gliding his hand up and down my side.

  “You better watch those hands, mister. Don’t be starting something we can’t finish.”

  “What? You don’t want to get frisky when there are children in the house? What are you going to do when you have kids of your own? Are you never going to have sex again? Because if you’re having my kids, you need to know we will continue to have lots… and lots… of sex.”

  His lips start exploring my neck, which usually makes me squirm in the best possible way. But my body goes still. I don’t even think I’m breathing.

  Kids? Of my own? Ben’s kids?

  I barely wanted to be in a committed relationship and he’s now talking about hypothetical children?