Currant Events

by Piers Anthony

  "Hello, folk," Drew said, poking his snout out of Clio's pocket.

  "Oh, how cute!" Cube said. "May I hold you?"

  What was it about girls and dragons?

  Drew consented to be held in the girl's hands. "You summon nickelpedes?"

  "Yes. Here's one." A nickelpede appeared before him. "But you know, we have a dragon of our own here, a big one. Well, not exactly here at the moment, but Drek Dragon is part of our operation." She glanced at Clio. "You are going on to Counter Xanth?"

  "It seems we are," Clio agreed.

  "Then Cory and Tessa will take you there. You know about sidestepping?"

  "I do." That was a special interdimensional mode of passage that only the two women could manage. Cory was a tall woman, taller than any of the rest of them, while Tessa was shorter than the others. How they had come to be close friends was another story, safely sealed in another volume of history.

  "So nice to meet you, Drew, you handsome blue-eyed rascal," Cube said, giving him back to Clio. "Be sure to meet Drek; he doesn't see many other dragons. There's been a mysterious shortage."

  "Not anymore," Clio said. "Xanth is being restocked."

  The two women took their hands and brought them into the stone. Sherlock stared.

  "It is sidestepping," Tessa explained. "We step sidewise into a parallel realm, which forms a kind of shortcut to where we are going. It is safe, but do stay in the aisle."

  They formed a small procession, with Cory leading and Tessa at the end. There wasn't anything to see; it was just rock all around, though it didn't get in their way.

  Then they came to an open region that was somehow different. Clio was silent, letting Sherlock discover it for himself. "Where's the Gap Chasm?"

  "This is it," Clio said, gesturing at the huge mountain range behind them. "Reversed."

  He stared, appreciating it. "As tall as the Gap is deep! Now I understand what you meant about a different kind of reversal. I love it."

  "That's just the beginning," Cory said. "Ah, here come Drek and Kay." Two centaurs were galloping toward them.

  "That's not her name," Drew said to Clio.

  "But that's the name we'll use for her."

  "Drek is not a centaur," Drusie said. "He's a dragon."

  "But he was able to save a reversal, in this case an exchange of forms," Clio said. "Sometimes Kay becomes a dragon."

  "This realm feels like home," Sherlock said. "There's just something about it."

  The centaur arrived. "Hello," Kay said. "It is nice to have settlers." She had large white wings, brown flanks and tail, and copious fair hair and face.

  "These aren't regular settlers," Tessa said. "This is Clio, the Muse of History, and her companion Sherlock of the Black Wave. They have special business here."

  "Will this be within established parameters?" Kay asked.

  "That seems unlikely," Clio said.

  "Then we had better come along," Tessa said. "Is it likely to be far?"

  "I don't know, but fear it could be."

  "Then you will need to ride. I can carry one." She turned to the other centaur. "Drek, you'll have to revert."

  Drek nodded and started away.

  "If you have to go somewhere to do it," Sherlock said, "maybe I can save you the trouble. Would reverse wood do it?"

  Drek considered, then returned. Sherlock touched him with a chip, and suddenly the centaur became a sizable dragon. He had a large head with a long green snout, myriad teeth, big eyes, and small ears. Taken as a whole, he was not a handsome creature. But he was large enough to carry several people.

  They discussed it, and decided to have Clio ride on Kay, while Sherlock, Drusie, Cory, and Tessa rode on Drek. Drew and Panion remained with Clio.

  "You have a guide to what you seek?" Kay asked.

  "I have a compass with a blue arrow that points my way." Clio looked at it. "That way."

  "Through the Gap Range," the centaur agreed.

  "Oh, I forgot! We can't just cross the invisible bridge again. How will we ever get over such towering mountains?"

  Kay laughed. "We sidestep. Actually Cory and Tessa have made a number of permanent aisles for us to use; they found they can do that here. See, the invisible tunnel is marked."

  Clio saw: a line had been drawn on the sheer face of the rising cliff, showing an entrance. It seemed to be straight stone there, but the centaur blithely trotted into it without impact. They were in a tunnel illuminated every so often by blobs of glowing fungus.

  "Oh, Karia, that's marvelous!" Clio said.

  The centaur's hooves lost contact with the floor. She drifted in the dark air. She wasn't flying; her wings remained furled. She was just aimlessly floating.

  "We seem to have a problem," Drew remarked.

  "Oh, I forgot another thing," Clio said, chagrined. "I called her by her real name, and she got carried away. That's her curse of a talent." She slapped the centaur on the flank. "Kay! Snap to!"

  The hooves dropped to the floor. "Oh, did I do it again? I'm sorry."

  "My fault," Clio said. "I know your name, and I used it. I'll try not to do that again."

  "That's best," the centaur agreed. "Nobody knows my name here, other than my friends, and they don't use it."

  "I will think of you only as Kay."

  The bell sounded. Clio brought Panion out. I can fix it, the little screen said in illuminated script.

  "But would the fix remain after you left her vicinity?"

  No.

  "Then I think it best to leave well enough alone."

  They moved on through the mountain, the dragon following. "You have a relationship with Drek?" Drew asked Kay.

  "Yes. I know, I'm a centaur, he's a dragon, and not even a handsome one. But in this land we are able to change forms, as you saw, if we manage it carefully, so we can match when we want to. He was eschewed by other dragons because his breath is not the traditional fire, steam, or smoke; it smells of perfume when he's happy, and like a sewer stench when he's upset. Dragons ridicule that. But he's a decent person with a fine mind. What more can a filly ask of a male?"

  "Nothing more," Clio said, appreciating what she herself saw in Sherlock.

  "I can see it," Drew agreed. "My love for Drusie is miscegenous, and would not have been allowed on Dragon World."

  "Miscegenation," Kay agreed. "We are annoyed by that term."

  The bell sounded. Term?

  "Miscegenation means marriage between races," Clio explained. "Some folk object to it. It's largely meaningless in Xanth, where a number of major species are crossbreeds, like the mermaids, harpies, and werewolves."

  "And centaurs," Kay said. "Even there, there can be a problem. The centaurs of Centaur Isle object to winged centaurs as unwarranted crossbreeds with magic. They consider magic to be obscene in centaurs."

  Term?

  "Obscene," Clio said. "Morally offensive, indecent. A word often favored by narrow-minded folk."

  Kay laughed again. "Which describes the residents of Centaur Isle."

  "And Mundania," Clio said. "Do you know they don't believe in magic?"

  "Which is surely why it's such a dreary dull place."

  They emerged from the sidestep tunnel. Counter Xanth spread out to the south, with lakes where mountains were in Xanth proper, and hills where lakes were. It still managed to look much like Xanth, but with an eerie difference.

  "Puns!" Clio exclaimed, remembering. "There are no puns here."

  "Yes, that is a considerable relief," Kay agreed. "This is really a fine land, as long as we avoid the worst reversal zones, which I am doing. When your arrow points us into one, we'll have to sidestep to avoid the consequences. We're not as familiar with the southern region, but are extending our knowledge daily."

  Clio looked back. Drek was emerging from the invisible tunnel. "Drusie tells me Sherlock was impressed," Drew said.

  "It's an impressive land," Kay said. "Would you like to fly? I can orient more clearly on your destination from above. Drek c
an follow; I won't go out of his sight."

  "Yes, let's fly," Clio said. "I haven't flown a centaur before."

  Kay flicked Clio and herself with her tail to make them light, galloped, gaining speed, spread her great white wings, and took off. Clio was exhilarated; there was just something about sailing up from the ground, seeing the landscape pass beneath. Counter Xanth was even more impressive when seen from above.

  "Now where do we go?"

  Clio checked the compass. "That way," she said, pointing. "South."

  "South it is." The centaur winged swiftly onward.

  Clio glanced back and down, and saw the dragon moving with excellent speed, keeping up. Probably Kay could fly faster, but was taking care to remain in Drek's view. They were coordinating nicely.

  "And there," Clio said in due course, pointing again. They were approaching a large conical depression.

  "That's Mount Pin-a-Fore!"

  "That's no mountain," Clio said. "And it sounds like a pun. How can that be?"

  "It's merely my humor. That's where Mount Pinatuba would be in Xanth, so it's a funnel instead of a cone, and surely female instead of male, so I dub her Pin-a-Fore. I doubt she would find it amusing."

  "A female volcano," Clio said. "Inverted. That does make sense. That does seem to be my destination."

  "We must be cautious. She can be unpredictable and ill-tempered."

  "Just like a female," Drew said. Their words were being relayed by the dragons, so that it seemed that they were in a single group, despite being in two groups.

  They laughed.

  The bell rang. What was that?

  "Drew Dragon said something funny," Clio said. "That being unpredictable and ill-tempered is just like a female."

  That's not funny.

  "It is if you know it's not so."

  I don't understand.

  "That may simply be something you will have to learn from experience."

  That sounds like the Adult Conspiracy.

  "Perhaps it is, dear," Clio said, smiling somewhat wistfully. But apart from the humor, she wondered whether she was about to encounter her danger for the day. She hardly relished winding back a volcanic eruption.

  I don't like the Adult Conspiracy. Mother runs a site called Mate-Rix for true-love matchups, and they are always alluding to things I'm not allowed to understand.

  They landed on the steep slope of the funnel. The compass pointed down toward the center, where a pool of lava bubbled like a boiling pot of stew. As they gazed at it, a fountain of fire developed, lovely but dangerous. "I am not completely comfortable with this," Kay said. "Let's wait until the others catch up."

  Soon enough they did. Sherlock and the two women dismounted and stood gazing at the base of the funnel. "A lady volcano," Sherlock said. "What would she want with us? I'm sure she'd much rather associate with Pinatuba."

  "Which is of course impossible," Kay said. "Volcanoes can't travel, and if they could, what would they do with each other? Share magma?"

  The fire fountain intensified. Pinafore was evidently listening, and not thrilled with their remarks.

  Clio had a sudden idea. She glanced up to see if a bulb flashed over her head, but there was none. That sort of thing, too, was absent from this land. "We understand the heartache of having no one of the opposite gender to associate with. Pinafore must be lonely. But maybe we can do something about that."

  The fire fountain smoothed out, becoming less threatening.

  Sherlock nodded. "How so?"

  "Pinafore would surely like to be in touch with Pinatuba, but can never meet him physically. However, she might have a rewarding correspondence with him. Perhaps we can arrange that."

  "I suppose we could carry messages back and forth," Sherlock said without enthusiasm.

  "I was thinking of the magic of electronics. Panion needs a situation; she could be the magic net interface with Xanth. She could receive and send messages on the Outernet that would travel much faster than walking people could handle them."

  The bell rang. Yes I could.

  "Let's see if Pinafore is interested." Clio faced the lava pool. "Would you be willing to keep this little machine safe, if she relayed messages between you and the handsome hot-coned Mount Pinatuba in Xanth?"

  The lava pool became so calm it was almost reflective.

  "I take that as a Yes," Clio said. "Let's set it up now." She looked around. "We need a good safe place for Panion to stay. Normally her kind resides in caves, but there doesn't seem to be—"

  She broke off, for there was a lava tube cave. She set Panion just inside it. Immediately it developed curtains with cuddly figures on them, and several scattered toys on the floor. It looked like a child's playroom, by no coincidence.

  "Now about the messages," Clio continued. "Can you understand what Pinafore says?"

  Yes.

  "And can she understand the messages you receive?"

  An illusion appeared at the mouth of the little cave: a big screen facing the pool. Hello, Pinafore. Show us a sparse.

  A new fountain developed in the pool. This one made a shower of bright fire sparkles.

  Kay nodded. "I think she's got it."

  This was working better than Clio had hoped. "And can you transmit messages between here and Xanth?"

  The illusion collapsed into a pile of glass and plastic rubble. No.

  Oops. "Why not?"

  I lack the conversion code.

  "I don't understand."

  "But we do," Cory said. "Counter Xanth is crafted from contra-terrene matter, opposite to regular matter. Xanth and Counter Xanth can never actually touch each other; they would disappear in energy. Sidestepping enables us to travel between them, but messages between them would disappear similarly. They need a conversion code so they can make it safely across."

  Clio's head felt overloaded, but she took it on faith that this made sense. "How can the conversion code be obtained?"

  Daddy has it.

  "Com Pewter has it," Clio repeated. "If we ask him for it, will he give it to us?"

  No.

  "Then what—?"

  He'll send it to me. Then we'll have the connection.

  It was beginning to make sense. "So if we travel back to Xanth, and ask him, he'll send it, and Pewter and Pinafore will be in electronic touch."

  No.

  Clio had patience. "There is another detail?"

  You must explain to Mount Pinatuba, and set up a terminal there.

  Ah. "And will Pewter have a terminal to use?"

  My brother Com Pound is with him. He's sort of violent.

  "Likes to hit things," Sherlock murmured with a straight face. "He should get along well with Pinatuba."

  "Then that's what we'll do," Clio said, relieved that this had turned out nice instead of ugly. That was never a certainty when dealing with volcanoes.

  She glanced at the compass. Sure enough, it pointed back the way they had come. They had completed another stage of her quest.

  "We must give you a tour of Counter Xanth," Kay said. "You will want to experience some of the reversals." It did seem time to relax a bit.

  13

  Understanding

  Kay and Drek took them back to the northern side of the Gap Range, where they had more of the landscape zeroed in. Then they gave the tour. They had sidestep paths throughout, and Cory and Tessa were on hand to get them out of any reversals that were unkind. It was clear that these folk liked showing off their new land, and they were good at it.

  "We have protected you from the first reversal most folk encounter," Tessa said. "Now you can experience it, briefly."

  "All we've seen is the inversion of the terrain," Sherlock remarked.

  "Speak your companion's name."

  "Oilc." Then he looked startled.

  "What's that, Kcolrehs?" Clio asked. And was startled herself. "What did I say?"

  "You said his name backward," Tessa said. "Try our names."

  "Asset," Clio said. "Yroc."
r />   "Eisurd," Drew said.

  "Werd," Drusie said. Both dragons laughed.

  "We're saying them backward," Sherlock said. "Without meaning to. It just comes out that way."

  "In this section," Cory agreed. "Other sections have other reversals. Do you wish to experience them?"

  "Oh, yes!" Sherlock said with surprising pleasure.

  Clio remembered now: she had written about this not all that long ago. It was different, experiencing it. "Yes, as long as they are harmless or can be reverted to normal."

  "That's why we are with you," Tessa said. "Yak and Kerd can handle them, but you could have problems. This way."

  "Yak" and "Kerd" carried them to several other sections. Along the way they saw six-legged cows, four-winged birds, and twin-hulled fish, the natural creatures of this land. There were sparkling clouds of insects that didn't sting. Then the reversals: in one section Clio and Sherlock, normally thin, became fat, and not with nice curves. They reverted to normal the moment Cory and Tessa guided them back into a sidestep aisle. In another they both became dull to the point of utter stupidity, the opposite of their usual natures. Then something odd happened.

  "I'm a—I've got a—" Clio said, appalled.

  "And I have two—" Sherlock said. Indeed, he had become a middle-aged woman with a prominent bosom.

  "You reversed genders," Cory said, ushering them back into the aisle.

  "That was awful!" Clio said.

  "Yet for those dissatisfied with their genders, this would be ideal," Tessa said. "It's painless and permanent, if they don't enter an aisle."

  In another section, Sherlock turned white and Clio verified with a mirror that she had become a member of the Black Wave. Their clothing changed color too.

  In another, Sherlock became a thin young man, while Cory and Tessa became thick old women. Young and old ages had reversed. Clio didn't change. She realized that perhaps she had become as young as she looked; since she was essentially ageless, it didn't show.