The Last Virgin in Texas

by Jennifer Woodhull

  “Thanks, Willa.” I take the coffee cup from her hand.

  “You look a little more human this morning.” Marissa winks at me as she takes my plate and fills it with food.

  “Thanks for taking my drunk ass in. Sorry I spoiled your evening.”

  “You didn’t spoil a thing. In fact…” Marissa looks under her brows at Willa, whose face is painted with a broad grin. Willa nods at her, and Marissa continues. “We have some news.”

  “Oh, yeah?” I look from one to the other. “Don’t keep me in suspense.”

  “I left Arnie!” Willa blurts out, then she laughs. “I really did it. I told him he could shove his money and reputation and male privilege up his ass.”

  “Wow. That’s great, Willa. So, you two will get more time together?”

  “We’ve been wanting to talk to you about that.” Marissa looks at Willa again, her cheeks turning pink, then back to me. “We were thinking…it might be a good time for us to talk about how our relationship ends.”

  I furrow my brows, confused for a moment, then realize what she means. “Oh. Yours and mine, you mean?”

  She nods. “Willa and I…we want to get married.” She reaches over and lightly presses her palm to the back of my hand. “You’ve been so good to me, Tucker. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had. I don’t want to create any hardship for you or hurt either of our careers if I can help it.”

  I turn my hand over and squeeze hers. “Don’t worry about me, Marissa. I’ll do whatever we need to do. You deserve to be happy.” I reach over and take Willa’s hand too. “You both do.”

  As we eat breakfast, the food soaks up the rest of the alcohol in my system and I start to perk up a little more.

  “So, what are you going to do about everything?” Marissa finally asks.

  “I really just thought I’d get some closure. Once I saw her, though…once we spent time together, I realized I’ve never gotten over her. I was so close…we were so close to what we had before, or maybe something completely new. I don’t know. I can’t believe Jared would do this to me.”

  “You know, I went to The Sati, up near Calistoga? I really needed to get some time to myself. I needed to work through what was holding me back—what was keeping me with Arnie when I was so unhappy with my life.” Willa says, sipping her orange juice. “It’s so peaceful there, and the staff can provide anything you need to heal in whatever way you need to. If you need to talk things through, they can help. If you need to detox, their spa and wellness program is amazing. Maybe it would help you to get away for a few days and get your mind right.”

  “You know, that’s actually really solid advice. Thanks, Willa. I’ll check it out.”

  We finish breakfast and they walk me to the front door. I hug Willa and then Marissa, depositing a kiss on her forehead. “I’m thrilled for you two. Just let me know what you need and I’m on board.”

  “Thanks, Tuck. Same here. If you need anything, just call.”

  I nod and open the front door, then I pause, and turn back. “Hey, something else…I was naked when I woke up, and my clothes were clean.” I wag a finger back and forth between the two of them. “You did that?”

  They look at each other and giggle. “Uh-huh,” they say almost in unison.

  “You may not be our type, but your girlfriends really are lucky.” Marissa winks at Willa and they both laugh.

  I grin at them and shake my head. “Thanks…I guess. I’ll see you two perverts later.”

  Twenty-Eight

  I haven’t turned on the television in almost a month. I can’t take the risk.

  I liked my boring little life in Shiner. I enjoyed baking biscuits in the morning and going to the fundraisers at the Ladies’ Auxiliary. I enjoyed getting Chinese takeout at the weekend and taking my truck out for long drives on dirt roads. I liked my little watercolor drawings and even staving off the flirtations of Dillon, the dirty deputy.

  Then, he came back and ruined it all.

  Now, it’s like all the paint has dried up in my palette. There’s no color left. Everything is just a monotone, faded line drawing.

  I’m staring out the front window of the diner, a dishrag in my hand, when something brushes my arm, and I jump.

  “Hon, are you okay?” Dillon asks, his fingertips resting on my arm.

  “Yeah, why?”

  “Because I’ve asked you for coffee three times and you completely ignored me.” He raises his brows.

  “Oh. Sorry. Here you go.” I turn and grab the pot, filling his cup.

  “You seem real down lately, Gretch. Why don’t we go out this weekend? Have a few laughs? Might be good for you to get out and have some fun.”

  “You’re so sweet, Dillon, but I don’t think so. I think I need some time to myself for a bit. I’ve got a lot on my mind.” I put the coffeepot back on the eye.

  “I can see that. I’m worried about you, though. It’s not like you to stay in a funk for long. Just promise me that if there’s anything I can do to help, you’ll call? Anytime. Day or night.”

  “I will. Thank you.” I squeeze his hand and he gives me a wry smile.

  Dillon leaves and I walk over to lock the front door. Maisie and Dodger walk around from the kitchen and stand behind the counter, both with arms crossed.

  “What’s this, some intervention bullshit?” I half-chuckle, but they don’t laugh. They give each other a sideways glance and return their eyes to me.

  “We’re worried about you, Gretchen,” Dodger says, uncrossing his arms and leaning his palms against the counter in front of him. “You gotta snap out of this. It’s been weeks and you don’t show any sign of getting back to normal.”

  I snap my gaze to him and narrow my eyes. “My fucking heart is broken, Dodger. I’m sorry I can’t just shrug it off and move on, but you don’t seem to understand what I’m goin’ through. He broke my heart, and just when I was past it, just when I was over him after all that time, he came back, and did it again.”

  “Honey, we know, it’s just…seeing you like this is killing us.” Maisie steps forward. “We want to help, but we don’t know how.”

  We. Us. Everybody on the fucking planet has someone but me, and it looks like that’s not going to change, maybe ever.

  I walk behind the counter and toss the rag in my hand onto it as I pass. I turn as I get to the kitchen and glare at the two of them. “Well, ya know what? If I’m so fucking miserable to be around, if me being hurt, and sad, and broken is putting a damper on your perfect little couple world, then you don’t have to be around me anymore. You can both find somewhere else to work but you sure as hell don’t have to come back here anymore.”

  I push the screen door hard with my palm and it clangs against the wall as I burst through it. I’m walking fast, so I get to my front door in no time, and when I step through it, I slam it so hard that the curtain rod over the small window in the middle of the door falls, clanging to the floor. Mr. Chips yelps, but I barely have anything left in me to give him. I can’t muster much of anything for anyone right now.

  I walk straight into my room, throw myself onto the bed like a teenager, and sob into the pillow.

  I don’t have to look up when I hear someone walking down the hall, the sound followed by the jingle of Mr. Chips’ tags. As my room darkens a little, someone stands in the doorway blocking the light, I feel the mattress dip and Mr. Chips nudges at my side. Without looking, I reach my arm out and pull him to me, snuggling him close. He licks my face, seeming to know I need him.

  “Gretchen,” Maisie’s voice is soft as she steps toward the bed and sits on the edge of it.

  I mumble into the pillow. “What?”

  “You’re the closest thing to a sister I have, and I couldn’t love you more if you were my sister instead of my cousin. I’ve loved you since the day we went to the hospital to see Aunt Sophia.” She strokes my hair and shoulders, just like Mama used to do when I was little.

  “I was so small, but I remember Aunt Sophia holding
you in that hospital bed. Mama said, ‘that’s your little cousin, Maisie,’ and I thought you were the cutest thing on the planet. I remember Aunt Sophia saying I’d need to look after you, and you’d look after me.” Her voice cracks a little and even though my face is buried in the pillow, I know she’s crying. “I promised her I would look after you forever, no matter what. Now…your heart is broken, and I don’t know what to do for you, Gretchen. I don’t know how to help and it’s just about more than I can stand. So just tell me. Tell me how to make it better, because I can’t stand watchin’ you like this.”

  I sit up and there are tears rolling down my cousin’s face. I reach out and put my arms around her shoulders, pulling her close. “I know, Maisie. I know you wanna help. I’m just such a mess. I don’t know what to do.”

  “I just feel like you’re holding something back, Gretchen. What don’t I know that might help me figure out how to help you move past all this?”

  I squeeze her tighter because I can’t look at her face when I say it.

  “I kissed Jared.”

  “What?!” She pulls back and grabs my shoulders in her hands. “You kissed Jared? How? Why?”

  I pull back and let myself fall back against the pillow. Mr. Chips immediately puts his front paws on my chest and examines my face, whining. Maisie scratches his head and he quiets, his little tail wagging as he leans forward and licks the salty tears gathered at my chin.

  “He offered to buy me dinner. He wanted to apologize for bringing her into the diner during the photoshoot. He felt so bad, Maisie.” I turn to face her. “I mean, he didn’t know Tucker was playin’ both of us. So we went to dinner and ended up back at his house…”

  “Please tell me you didn’t sleep with him.”

  I shake my head. “I thought about it for a split second, though. I mean, we’ve been friends forever, and he was bein’ so sweet. He said he always liked me. I thought, just for a minute, I thought he might be the right person. Someone familiar ya know? Somebody safe.”

  “But you didn’t go through with it?”

  “No. We kissed, and then we went to his room, and we both laid on the bed and when he went to kiss me again, I started bawlin’ like a baby. I didn’t want to be kissin’ him, I wanted to be kissin’ Tucker, but Tucker didn’t want me. He has a girlfriend—one a lot prettier and more glamorous than me. It all just came out.”

  “What did Jared do?”

  “He held me for a little while so I could cry it out, then he let me have his bed and he slept in the guest room. Next morning, he brought me home. He was really sweet. I kinda wish I had been able to go through with it. He seems like he really is a good guy.”

  I press my palms to my cheeks. “What am I gonna do, Maisie? How am I ever going to get over this?”

  She crosses her arms and rests her thumb and forefinger against her chin for a moment, thinking. After a moment, she looks back at me. “I think you need to get out of Shiner for a while. Why don’t you use that money from the photoshoot and take a trip? Get outta here for a couple of weeks.”

  “And where would I go by myself?”

  “I think you need to go see the one person I know who knows more about heartache than anybody else.”

  I sit up, nodding.

  A few minutes later, we’re sitting at my dining room table, hunched over the laptop, booking a flight to Denver.

  Twenty-Nine

  I’ve never been out here to visit Mama before. She always comes home to see me instead. When she and John got married, they had the ceremony on the beach down near Corpus Christi so all Mama’s friends and family could come. They come back to Shiner a couple of times a year to see me, and always beg me to come out, but with taking care of the diner, and not wanting to intrude while they’re still basically honeymooners, I haven’t done it yet.

  “Baby!” Mama throws her arms high into the air as soon as I approach the baggage claim area. When I reach her, I put Mr. Chips’ pup carrier on the ground next to me.

  “Hi, Mama.” I hug her tight and lean up, kissing her cheek.

  She releases me and I feel a hand on my shoulder. “My turn.” John scoops me up in a hug. “You okay, baby girl?”

  He really is so incredibly sweet. “Much better seeing you guys.” I mutter the words into the side of his neck as he wraps me in a big bear hug.

  Their place is on the outskirts of Denver near a little town called Golden. It feels like the driveway goes on forever, and when we cross a small rise and the wide stone facade comes into view, my eyes go wide. This is more of a mansion than the ranch Mama has been describing all this time. It has a rounded structure at the front that makes it look like a castle. We cross a broad, arched wooden bridge that’s over a small creek as we approach. The back of the house is no less spectacular. Above the four-car garage, a wall of windows looks out to a spectacular mountain view.

  I knew John had money. He owns a chain of home health care companies out in this part of the country. I don’t think I realized just how much he had, though.

  “This place is really something.” I squeeze Mama’s hand as we walk through the massive house. John is especially proud when he shows me the room that houses a swimming pool and hot tub. There’s a massive TV hung high on a far wall above a fireplace so big I could walk around in it.

  “I was already building this place when I met Sophia.” He puts an arm around her shoulder, and she raises her cheek for a kiss. “She told me about her journey to become healthier, so I had them rewrite the plan to put in this space. There’s a gym through there,” he points to the door beside the fireplace. “And the pool lets us swim laps to stay in shape during the cold Colorado winters.”

  “And we hike, too. Can you believe your Mama exercises for fun?” She giggles.

  I stop and turn to them. “This place is so beautiful, and Mama, I’ve never seen you like this. You look so happy.” There’s a gleam in John’s soft, brown eyes, which crinkle at the edges when he looks at her. I lean up and put my arms around him, hugging him tightly. “Thank you for making my Mama so happy.”

  He rubs his palm up and down my back and Mama puts her hand on my shoulder.

  When he releases me, Mama scoops me up. “Thank you, baby. I am happy. I really miss you, though. I wish you’d move out here with us. You could do anything you wanted out here.” She presses her cheek to the top of my head, and other than the fact that I can wrap my arms all the way around her now, it feels just like when I was little.

  John says he wants to celebrate having me there and grills up some beautiful steaks for us in the outdoor kitchen. The air is crisp on this beautiful early autumn afternoon, so we sit outside at a massive wooden table. Remembering what happened the last time I drank too much wine, I opt for a glass of tea instead.

  John raises his glass for a toast. “Here’s to having our girl here with us at last. Whatever brought you out, we’re so glad you’re here, Gretchen.”

  Mom looks at him and there’s so much love in her eyes. He’s a good man. I understand how she fell for him so fast.

  “Thanks, John. Thanks, Mama.” I clink my tea glass to their wine glasses and take a sip.

  Over dinner, we catch up on everyone in Shiner.

  “Helen tells me that Kane boy was in town to film some documentary or some such. Jared Berringer, too. You see ‘em?”

  Boy, did I ever.

  I clear my throat. “I did. They both seem to be doing really well.”

  Mama narrows her eyes at me, but thankfully, she leaves it alone. I need to tell her everything. I need her advice more than ever but blurting everything out within a few minutes of my arrival isn’t something I’m quite ready for.

  I change the subject and Mama tells me about her charitable work.

  “Don’t let her fool you, Gretchen. Your mom doesn’t just work there. She founded The Caryatid Foundation.”

  “Really?”

  Her cheeks glow and she smiles wide. “I sure did. When John took me to Greece for our
honeymoon, we saw these amazing structures with columns carved into figures of women. They were the support, and it got me thinking about how women can support other women, especially young women who are single moms, tryin’ to figure things out.” She shrugs. “I talked to some ladies I’d met out here, and they loved the idea and it all fell into place.”

  “Mama, that’s amazing.”

  “Yeah, it’s really comin’ along. We even got a grant lined up from the Increasingly Thrive foundation, and it’s a big one. We’re gonna be able to help a lot of women who need it.”

  When we finish dinner, John pulls my bag from the SUV and we walk over to the far end of the house where the guest rooms are. He opens the door to the one at the end and carries my bag over to a large, walk-in closet.

  “This is your room, Gretchen.” Mama gestures to the large, airy space.

  There is a king-size bed with soft pink bedding at one end. A bookshelf sits on the opposite wall with a pair of overstuffed chairs next to it in a recessed nook. When I turn to look toward the window, my jaw drops. There’s a beautiful wooden drafting table. Beside it is a cabinet, and I snatch open each drawer. Pens. Paint. Markers. It’s all the best stuff.

  I spin to face Mama. “You really mean it’s my room, don’t you? You set all this up when I called?”

  “No, honey. We’ve had it set it up for a while. I’ve been asking you for months to come out and visit. You’re always too wrapped up in runnin’ the diner to make the time.”

  “I’m gonna give you two some time to talk.” John squeezes Mama’s shoulder and deposits a kiss on her temple. “Why don’t I have my assistant call and make an appointment for you two to have a spa day tomorrow? Some pampering and relaxation might be just what you need.”

  Mama nods. “That would be wonderful, don’t you think, Gretchen?”