First Shift

by Alexis Davie

  She was saving herself for someone special, or that had been her plan. Now she was starting to regret the plan. She didn’t like the idea of heading off to college as a virgin. She realized with a start that she wanted the whole college experience. The parties. The sex with guys she liked just because she wanted to do it.

  She didn’t know where these thoughts were coming from, but it was like focusing on Zane was changing her, making her feel stronger and more in touch with her body and her needs. It was like even just watching him, she was taking in a small sliver of his confidence, that she was starting to feel more adventurous.

  That’s what she blamed when Rose had begged her to go down to the beach after the game for the afterparty and she had said yes. And she hadn’t said yes just because she felt bad for Rose. She had said yes because suddenly, she actually wanted to go. She wanted to experience a high school party for herself, something she had actively avoided for her whole time as a high school student.

  Now she found herself on the beach, the sand soft beneath her feet, the music blaring and the drinks flowing. Someone had gone to the effort to drag kegs down onto the sand and everyone seemed to be drinking and having a good time. Rose and Harley had finally started to chat and Cleo had excused herself, knowing Rose wouldn’t leave her alone but also knowing that Rose desperately wanted to be left alone to hook up with Harley.

  Cleo stood on the edge of the loose circle of partygoers, watching them. Some sat on the sand talking or making out with each other. Some stood around in groups, mingling, laughing. Some of the drunker students were even dancing. Cleo sipped her drink, wishing that she had the courage to go up to one of the groups and join their conversation.

  Her eyes automatically sought out Zane. He was with a couple of the guys from the team and some of the cheerleaders. The guys messed around, laughing and shoving each other, showing off for the girls who laughed and hung on their every word. Cleo rolled her eyes. Talk about a pack mentality. How did Annie not see it?

  She was really starting to think this had been a mistake. She never should have agreed to come here. She didn’t fit in with this crowd, and it wasn’t only because she hadn’t turned yet. Sometimes she thought that the reason she felt so strongly about not turning was because she didn’t fit in with these people at all, and becoming more like them wasn’t something she was overly eager to do.

  She took another sip of her beer and realized that her cup was empty. She thought about sneaking away, but her eyes went back to Zane. He was looking in her direction and she looked away quickly, but not before their eyes met for a second. Cleo felt that now familiar dampening of her panties, the throb in her clit, the longing to feel Zane’s arms wrapped around her, to feel his warm lips on hers. His laughter pulled her attention back to the moment and back to him.

  He was rolling around on the ground, play fighting with Mark. Showing off again. She rolled her eyes, but she didn’t move to leave. Instead, she moved over to the keg and refilled her cup. She moved back to her original spot and sat down on the sand, hoping to make herself less conspicuous.

  Of course, Cleo’s eyes found their way almost instantly back to Zane and she sighed loudly. What do I even see in him? Aside from the fact that he’s fucking drop-dead gorgeous obviously? I mean, the guy is an ass. The way he shows off, the way he always has to be the center of attention.

  The way the guys were acting and the way the girls were lapping it up made Cleo think about the wolf thing again. She wondered why for a second and then it came to her. It was because they were acting like what they were: animals. This was a mating ritual of sorts, the guys showing off, almost as though they were beating their chests and flashing their asses, and the girls scouting over them, trying to choose the best one, the fittest one, the strongest one. It was like Discovery Channel 101.

  And as much as Cleo told herself she was different, that she wasn’t influenced by the beast inside of herself as long as she didn’t let it out, she started to think that wasn’t necessarily true. She was as drawn to the mating dance with Zane as much as the next girl. And her body responded to the sight of him whether she liked it or not. She even felt differently when she looked at him, like the wolf in her was coming to the surface, making her stronger and more outgoing. More like the other girls.

  It didn’t much matter, though. It didn’t matter what the caged animal inside of her tried to do, or what her own mind thought of when she looked at Zane. They were from different worlds, too different to come together, even for a conversation, let alone anything else. And the fact that Zane had his arm draped loosely around Alexa’s shoulders, whispering into her ear as she giggled and twirled a strand of her hair around her fingers, told Cleo everything she needed to know about how this night would pan out.

  The football team would pair up with the cheerleaders and the pretty, popular girls. The brainy students would pair up with the other brainy students. The goths would pair up with the other goths. And as always, Cleo would be on the outside looking in, unsure of who she was and where her place in the world lay.

  She downed the last of her beer and stood up abruptly.

  No, fuck that, she thought. I won’t be left here alone watching everyone pairing up. I won’t be the odd one out again.

  She turned and began to make her way down the beach, moving away from the laughter and the shrieks, looking for somewhere quiet where she could just be herself. Alone, but completely and unashamedly herself.

  4

  Zane threw himself at Mark, knocking him to the ground. The two of them wrestled, laughing and throwing punches, each trying to be the victorious one. Zane had only tackled Mark because he could feel Cleo’s eyes on him. A few times he had looked up and seen her watching him, and for a while, he had allowed himself to think that maybe a girl like her could like a guy like him after all.

  His rough-housing was a ploy to get Cleo’s eyes on him once more, to get her to really notice him. To make her see he was stronger than Mark, than any of the other guys here. He realized that he wanted Cleo to think of him as invincible, as the sort of guy who could protect her.

  After a bit of rolling in the sand, Zane and Mark got to their feet, laughing and slapping each other on the back. Zane instantly looked back at Cleo to see if she had noticed him overpowering Mark, but when he looked at her spot, she had gone. He felt his heart sink. He should have known better. This kind of behavior didn’t impress girls like Cleo. He didn’t know what would—if he had known that then he would have been doing it—but he knew instinctively this wasn’t the right move. He just wished he had thought it through more carefully before he had acted.

  He felt eyes on him and he glanced to his side. Alexa stood watching him through her long eyelashes, her head down, a half smile on her face. She was the opposite to Cleo, blonde and bubbly and the kind of girl Zane usually dated. The kind of girl who he did know how to impress. There was no denying that Alexa was hot, but when Zane looked at her, he didn’t feel the way he felt when he looked at Cleo. He couldn’t imagine any sort of future with Alexa the way he could with Cleo.

  He almost laughed at the irony of that thought. He could imagine a future with a girl who would never ever want to date him, but not with the girl who was making it blatantly clear that she wanted him.

  He moved closer to Alexa. Cleo was never going to be interested in him, so he might as well at least try and have some fun at the party.

  “You look cute tonight,” he said into Alexa’s ear, slinging his arm around her shoulders.

  “Thanks,” she said, twirling a strand of hair between her fingers and giggling. “You were great out there.”

  “It felt good to beat those guys. Winning our last game of the season, our last game of high school, felt pretty fucking epic,” he said.

  Alexa looked up at him, her big blue eyes searching his face, and he realized she was waiting for him to kiss her. He couldn’t help but compare her once more to Cleo, and no matter how he tried to convince himself Alexa w
as the right choice, she just didn’t measure up to Cleo in his mind.

  Zane realized in that moment that the last thing he wanted to do was hook up with some girl he felt nothing for again. To spend the night with a girl he knew he had no future with. It had been fun for a while to do just that, but now, it just felt pointless, like he was going through the motions.

  He wondered what it would be like to just walk up to Cleo and introduce himself. He wondered how she would react. Whether she would at least humor him and pretend to be interested in what he had to say, or whether she would just look at him with disdain.

  Suddenly, Zane knew with certainty that he had to find out. He decided it was better to risk her disdain, her rejection, than to risk always having to wonder what might have been if he had been brave enough to talk to Cleo. He glanced down at Alexa again, who was still looking up at him expectantly. He removed his arm from around her shoulders like she was suddenly burning him and she frowned.

  “What’s wrong?” she demanded.

  “I… would you excuse me for a moment?” he said.

  He didn’t wait for an answer. He practically ran away from Alexa and his heart sank when he looked out toward where Cleo had been and saw that she hadn’t returned. He scanned the crowd, but he couldn’t spot Cleo anywhere. He debated asking around, but it seemed so pointless. He knew in his heart Cleo was only going to shoot him down anyway. He started to turn and head back toward the guys, but Alexa was still hanging around them, and if he went back now, she would assume he was back for her.

  Instead of going back, he began to walk away from the party, heading down the beach to the caves he came to when he wanted to be completely alone to think about things. He walked slowly, kicking up the sand as he moved.

  I can’t believe it’s taken me so many years to finally work up the courage to talk to Cleo and just accept that she’s probably going to laugh in my face and send me away, and it’s too late, Zane thought to himself. Maybe it wasn’t too late, though. Maybe he would see her around over the summer and get his chance. He knew that he wouldn’t be brave enough to risk it on any other day, though. Tonight, the team’s win and the few drinks he had drunk had given him the courage he needed to talk to her. The chances of everything coming together like that again were slim, if not totally non-existent.

  Zane reached the caves and ducked inside the mouth. The first cave, the cave where Zane usually sat, was sheltered on three sides, but the opening was wide, letting in plenty of light and giving him a view of the ocean. The moonlight shone in now, making the cave look silvery and almost magical.

  That wasn’t what got Zane’s attention, though. It was Cleo. She was sitting in his cave, looking out at the ocean. She turned her head in his direction as he stepped in.

  “Cleo, what are you doing here?” Zane asked.

  Cleo was already halfway to her feet.

  “I’m sorry. I’ll go,” she said quickly.

  “Don’t be silly,” Zane said. “Stay. Please.”

  Cleo sat back down on the sand and Zane came to sit down beside her.

  “How do you know about this place?” Zane asked.

  “I didn’t,” Cleo smiled. “I just wanted to get away from the party for a while. I came for a walk along the beach and I just spotted the caves. I thought I’d explore a little and when I was done, I came and sat here.”

  “It’s a great place to just sit and think,” Zane said.

  Cleo nodded. She turned away from Zane and looked back out over the sea. Zane kept looking in her direction, snatching little glances. She really was beautiful.

  “Aren’t you worried about what you’re missing at the party?” Cleo asked after a moment of silence.

  Her tone didn’t sound judgmental like Zane had expected it to. She sounded genuinely curious and he decided to just be honest with her. She hadn’t laughed in his face yet and he was taking that as a good sign.

  “Not at all,” Zane said. “The only interesting person there already left.”

  “Right,” Cleo said. “So, how did you end up here?”

  “I come here all the time when I need to think. There’s only so many lectures I can take from my father about the future of the pack and how I need to start being responsible and leading by example and all that crap before I want to explode. And that’s when I come here. It’s funny, I always thought it was the being alone I liked, but I think I was wrong about that. I don’t think it’s being in company that’s the problem. I think it’s being in the wrong company.”

  Cleo turned to look at Zane and Zane felt a stirring inside of himself when she met his eyes.

  “Then one of us should probably leave, because I seriously doubt your father would think I’m anything but the wrong company,” Cleo said.

  “Screw what my father thinks,” Zane said.

  “Well, what about what you think? Shouldn’t you be off chasing the girl who left?” Cleo said.

  Zane frowned.

  “What do you mean?” he asked.

  “You said earlier the only interesting person at the party left. I’m assuming that’s a girl, right? Shouldn’t you be off looking for her?”

  Zane smiled and shook his head.

  “You don’t get it, do you, Cleo? That’s exactly what I did. Granted it was an accident that I found you, but a happy accident all the same. I was talking about you.”

  5

  Cleo felt a heavy weight in her stomach when Zane told her he had been talking about her when he said the most interesting person at the party had left. Was he just making fun of her? Was he going to laugh at her now and tease her like everyone else did?

  She expected that; she always expected that because that’s what experience had taught her, but somehow, out here, Zane seemed different from whom she had thought he was. And he seemed genuine when he told her he had meant her. There was no laughter, no strange expression, just a genuine smile.

  And there were only the two of them there. It wasn’t like he had anyone to show off to by teasing Cleo. What would be the point of it out here? She had tried to leave, and he had asked her to stay. Was it possible Zane was different from the rest of them?

  It was certainly starting to seem that way. His confession about coming out here to think and get away from his father had shown Cleo a different side to Zane. A side where he wasn’t super confident all of the time. And she thought maybe it was a side of Zane she could like.

  “You think I’m interesting?” Cleo said. “I hate to disappoint you, Zane, but I’m really not. The most interesting thing about me is that I like to read. Other people have these cool hobbies and interests and shit, and mine is reading. So, I’m sorry to disillusion you.”

  “The wolf shifter girl who refuses to turn really thinks the most interesting thing about herself is a love of books?” Zane said with a raised eyebrow.

  Here it comes, Cleo thought to herself. He doesn’t find me interesting. He just wants to give me a lecture about letting the pack down or whatever.

  She started to stand up again, but Zane grabbed her wrist. She went to pull away from him, but her skin tingled where he touched her, and suddenly, all she could do was sit in place, her wrist in Zane’s hand, and look into his eyes. His beautiful eyes.

  “I think it’s pretty noble that you refuse to turn,” Zane said.

  “Yeah, right,” Cleo snorted.

  Zane released her wrist, but she made no effort to move now. Part of her still thought Zane was making fun of her, but if he was, this was a whole new way of doing it, a way she had never encountered before, and Cleo thought she had heard it all already. She was curious as to where he was going with this.

  “I’m serious, Cleo. I love that you refuse to bend to pressure, even if that bothers some people. You are yourself and you refuse to become someone you don’t want to be just because other people are telling you that you should. I wish I was that brave,” Zane admitted.

  “You mean you wouldn’t have turned, given the choice?” Cleo asked
, an eyebrow arched.

  Zane laughed softly at the look on her face.

  “Oh no, I would have. I actually like being a wolf. But there’s more to our lives than just that. If I was brave enough to go my own way, I’d be going to study architecture at college. But my father doesn’t think that’s suitable for an alpha, and he gave me a choice. Harvard for law or Yale for medicine.”

  “You should do what makes you happy, Zane, not what makes your father happy. Eternity is a long time to be anything but happy,” Cleo stated.

  “I wish I’d had the courage to talk to you years ago, before it was too late to change my mind,” Zane said.

  “It’s never too late to change your mind,” Cleo said. She felt her stomach whirl. “Wait. You’ve wanted to talk to me for years? Why didn’t you?”

  “I guess I thought you would laugh at me,” he said, looking down into his lap. Cleo could see his cheeks reddening slightly.

  “What? Why?” Cleo said.

  “Because you’re smart and you know who you are, and I’m just a dumb jock whose usual tricks don’t impress you,” Zane said.

  “Well, for one, you’re not dumb if you can get into Harvard or Yale,” Cleo pointed out.

  Zane looked back up at her and she felt her stomach whirl again when he gave her a sexy little half-smile.

  “But the rest was true?”

  “Honestly? Yeah. I have to say I don’t find two guys play-fighting impressive,” Cleo said with a grin. “But that doesn’t mean I would have laughed at you. It’s funny, because for years, I assumed you were like the rest of them. That you didn’t know I existed.”

  “Oh, I knew, Cleo. Trust me, I knew. I could hardly keep my eyes off you,” Zane smiled.

  “Really?” Cleo asked.

  “Really. Jeez, Cleo, are there no mirrors in your house? You’re drop-dead gorgeous. What guy wouldn’t notice you?”