by Marie Force
“I hope they will, but even if they never do, that changes nothing for me.”
“Is that so?” he asks, his lips curving into a sexy smile.
“That is so.”
He takes my glass from me and puts them both on the table next to his side of the bed. When he turns back to me, I’m filled with anxiety and anticipation and… Well, just about every emotion I’ve ever experienced shows up to make itself heard.
“Relax, Roni, it’s just me, and I love you.” He tips my chin up to receive a soft, sweet, easy kiss. “Remember, if all we do is sleep, that’s fine with me.”
He’s perfect for me, and I love him, too, which is why I want to do more than sleep with him. I reach for him and draw him into another of the kind of kisses we shared on the beach—the deep, tongue-twisting variety that makes me forget everything that isn’t him and this moment that belongs only to us.
One kiss leads to two, which leads to six, or is it ten? I lose count of how long we make out like two teenagers who’ve finally gotten a minute alone after a long, long wait. The thought makes me giggle.
He pulls back from me. “It’s not good for my fragile ego to have you laugh while I’m kissing you.”
“This reminds me of being a teenager.”
“What kind of teenager were you, young Roni?”
“The kind who had a boyfriend that my parents watched like a hawk, so we had no time at all alone together until we’d been dating for, like, a year.”
“Kind of like us, huh?”
“That’s why it’s funny.”
“I’m going to need to kiss you a lot to make up for all the times I wanted to but couldn’t.”
“I can get on board with that.”
He tugs at the belt to my robe. “What’s going on under here?”
“You wanna see?”
“Is that a rhetorical question?”
I didn’t expect to laugh, but I should’ve known I would. He always makes me laugh, and I love making him laugh.
I go up on my knees to remove the robe and toss it aside.
“I’m going to need a minute to take a good long look at you.”
“You can look for as long as you want.”
“Am I allowed to touch, too?”
“Please do.”
He was right. This is easy because it’s him. It’s been easy with him from the beginning, which is why we’re in a bed together tonight.
As he rises to his knees to put his arms around me, I link my arms around his neck and decide to share that thought with him. “I couldn’t have gotten to where I am with you right now with anyone else.”
He’s busy kissing my neck. “I sure hope not.”
Laughing, I poke his side and make him grunt out a laugh. “You know what I mean. The way this happened… It was just what I needed.”
“Same for me, sweetheart. It was perfect from the beginning.”
“By ‘beginning,’ do we mean after the stalking or during?”
His silent laughter makes me smile. “All of it. Every single thing.”
After that, there are no more words, only more kisses, caresses and desperate desire. I had no idea how much I’d missed the touch of a man until Derek reminds me. He moves slowly and carefully, and his respect for the fact that this is the first time for me after Patrick only makes me love him more.
My gown disappears over my head, and his greedy lips find my nipples, sparking a rush of need that converges between my legs.
“Do I need a condom?” he asks, raising his head to look at me.
“I, uh, got a prescription for this nonhormonal gel that I can use while breastfeeding. I, um, took the liberty of applying it…”
“Well, aren’t you full of surprises?”
“I wanted to be ready for this.”
“And do you feel ready, sweet Roni, in all the ways that matter?”
I nod. I’m as ready as I’ll ever be to take this next step in my journey and feel blessed to be taking the step with a man I love and respect.
“First things first…” He kisses a path down the front of me.
“Don’t look at my stretch marks.”
“I don’t see anything but a sexy woman.”
“Well played, Mr. Kavanaugh.”
“You’re beautiful, Mrs. Connolly.” That reminds me of something else I want to talk to him about, but not now. Definitely not now as he proceeds to prove to me with his lips, tongue and fingers that we suit each other in bed, too. I put a hand over my mouth to muffle the sounds that come from the first orgasm I’ve had in longer than I can remember.
“Mmm. Told ya.”
“I knew you were going to say that.”
“When I’m right, I’m right. Ready for more?”
“Yes, please, but first, I should take care of you.”
“Next time. Look at me.”
I gaze up at him and find him looking down at me with those lovely golden eyes gone hot with love and desire. “Keep looking at me, okay?”
I nod and gasp as he pushes into me.
“Still good?”
“So good.” It’s good and wonderful and terrible and lovely all at the same time, and yes, it’s possible for it to be all those things and so much more.
“I love you. I love Dylan. I always will.”
“I love you, too, and I love Maeve. Always.”
The words, the pleasure, the love, the desire… It’s all there, everything we need to make a meaningful life together, and I’m just so damned grateful for him. Perhaps even more so than I was for Patrick, before I knew how quickly it could all end, with no warning or time to say goodbye forever.
Our bodies move together like we were made for each other. Derek makes sure I have another orgasm before he takes his pleasure, reminding me of what Sarah once said about unicorns. How lucky am I to have found two of them in one lifetime?
He comes down on top of me, breathing hard, and puts his arms around me. “So damned good. I love being right. I plan to be right a lot, just so you know.”
“Thanks for the warning, and yes, you were right.”
“Are those happy tears, sweetheart?”
Nodding, I say, “I’m just so thankful for you, for this, for a second chance, for Maeve and Dylan, for all of it.”
“Me, too. Gratitude is a big part of my life these days in a way it never was before, not like it should’ve been, and I’m extremely grateful for you, Maeve and Dylan.”
“When you called me Mrs. Connolly before…”
“Sorry. I said that before I took a second to think about it.”
“No, it was fine, but it reminded me that I wanted to tell you I’m probably going to keep the name Connolly so Dylan and I will have the same name while he’s growing up. Is that okay with you?”
“Of course it is. What would you think of Roni Connolly Kavanaugh? We can be the Kavanaugh-Connolly family.”
“That’d be perfect. In case I forget to tell you every day, I love you, and I’m extremely thankful for every minute we get to spend together.”
“Same to you, love.” He raises his head off my chest and kisses me while giving a subtle push of his hips to remind me he’s still inside me—as if I needed the reminder. “You want to do it again to make sure I was really right, and that wasn’t just a fluke?”
“We probably ought to make sure before we shackle ourselves to each other for a lifetime.”
“I love a girl who’s thorough.”
EPILOGUE
Roni
Over the next month, we spend most of our time at Derek’s house. We bought a new bed and had it delivered there until we’re ready to move to our new place, a townhome we bought together on Eighth Street, one block from where Sam and Nick lived before they moved to the White House and a block in the other direction from where I first saw Derek. I insisted on splitting the cost of the house with Derek, who objected strongly, until I told him it was important to me that we share in the cost of raising our family. He might always make more than I
do, but my salary isn’t shabby, and I want to be a partner to him in the same way he’s been one to me.
Dylan and I spend most nights with Derek and Maeve, and we already feel like a family of four, slipping into a nice routine that works for all of us. It’s been amazing to me how easy it is with Derek, and even though I still have my difficult days when grief reminds me I’m not in charge, for the most part I’m doing okay.
I’ve had to attend a couple of hearings in the case against the man who shot Patrick, which always sets me back for a couple of days, but Derek is there to support me on the good days and the bad. Arnie Patterson and the case against him and his sons has been back in the news again, which has been tough for Derek. Hearing about the man who orchestrated a massive deception and murder that took Victoria from him and Maeve makes him quiet, moody and remote.
I let him know I want to be there for him the way he is for me, and he’s doing better about sharing the tough times with me. He’s always so concerned about adding his grief to mine, but I want him to share everything with me.
We ride to work together, like we do every day, on the last Friday before Thanksgiving. Dylan is in the back seat, hitching a ride with us to his nanny at the White House. I love our morning routine of getting Maeve off to her daycare and then commuting across town with Derek and Dylan. Every morning, Derek still goes to the coffee shop to get coffee and hot chocolate for us.
I’m taking off all next week to prepare to host twenty people at my place, which has the larger dining room. Since I’ve never done Thanksgiving dinner before, I’ve recruited my mom and sisters to help me prepare.
Patrick’s mom is bringing pies, and Derek’s mom is making stuffing and green bean casserole. My sisters are also bringing sides, so I’m mostly responsible for the turkey, gravy and mashed potatoes. Easy enough, right?
Gulp.
I want this day to be perfect and have rewritten my grocery list at least ten times. I’m studying it again on the way to work.
“You’re going to make yourself nuts, Veronica. It’s all going to be fine.”
“Easy for you to say. You’re in charge of booze. No one can screw that up.”
He laughs. “True, but your mom said she’d supervise the turkey. You’ve got every base covered.”
“I guess.”
“Can we talk about what you’re really worried about?”
I look over at him. “What do you mean?”
“You’re freaking out about telling Patrick’s parents we’re engaged. So why don’t we take a ride down to see them this weekend and get that taken care of so you can enjoy the holiday?”
The thought of that makes my mouth go dry. As many times as I tell myself I’ve done nothing wrong and have no reason to feel guilty about my love for Derek, I can’t for the life of me picture telling Susan and Pete that we’re engaged.
“Or, we put it off until it feels less terrifying to you. I’ve told you before—I’m not in any rush. As long as I know that we’re in this together for the long haul, the rest is just details to me. If we get married next year or in two years, that’s fine.”
“Have I mentioned today that I love you for understanding me so completely?”
“Not yet, but I’m always up for hearing that you love me.” He takes a right turn into the entrance to the White House and is waved through after we show our IDs to the agent working the gate. When he parks in the spot designated for Mr. Kavanaugh, Deputy Chief of Staff, he shuts off the engine and turns to me. “Let’s just wait, Roni. You’ve built this holiday up in your mind as some sort of launching point, and it doesn’t need to be that. Let’s just have the turkey with our people and keep the rest to ourselves for a while longer.”
“You’d be okay with that? Really?”
“Absolutely. I can’t stand to see you stressing about this. There’s no need for it. We’re not on any kind of deadline to move forward.”
“In that case, I think I’d like to wait a bit, even though I want to be wearing that gorgeous ring for everyone to see.”
He kisses the back of my left hand, where my ring finger is devoid of bling. We stashed the ring in the safe at his place until we’re ready to go public. “We have a lifetime to spend together. Let’s not sweat the small stuff, okay?”
“Okay.”
With his hand resting gently on my face, he leans in to kiss me. “Feel better?”
“I do. Thank you.”
“You don’t have to thank me.”
“Yes, I really do. For the friendship, the love, the sweet daughter I gain by loving you, for being there for me and for Dylan, for getting me and the struggles that go with this widow journey, for all of it.”
“If you’re thanking me, then I need to thank you for bringing the light back into my life. Until I met you, I was just existing. This is so much better for me and for Maeve. Everything is so much better with you.”
“I like the way happiness looks on you.”
“I like the way it feels. I’d forgotten.”
“I guess we’d better go to work.”
“Probably so, but we’ll continue this conversation later.”
“I’ll look forward to that all day.”
* * *
My turkey comes out juicy and delicious. Our families gel like they’ve known each other for years. Patrick’s parents are in good spirts and seem pleased to be with us, which is a huge relief. They’re leaving after dinner to go to Pete’s brother’s house, so we have them for only a little while longer.
When my mom suggests we play her annual thankful game, in which we go around the table and everyone says what they’re most thankful for that day, I start to think about what I want to say as Derek, sitting to my left, starts.
“I’m thankful for the family and friends who’ve been such a tremendous support to me and Maeve over the last couple of years, and,” he says, glancing at me, “for new friends who’ve helped bring the joy back into our lives.”
Under the table, I give his hand a squeeze.
“I’m thankful for old friends and new ones,” Derek’s mom, Ruth, says, “and for the smiles on the faces of my dear son and his sweet daughter. I’m thankful for Roni and Dylan and the chance to spend this day with the new family you’re making together. We’re so proud of you both and love you very much.”
“Thanks, Mom,” Derek says in a gruff tone that indicates an emotional response to his mom’s heartfelt words.
“Thank you for making Dylan and me so welcome in your family, Ruth,” I add.
“We love you both,” she says.
“I’m thankful for this wonderful meal that my daughter-in-law made,” Susan says, “and for the opportunity to spend this day with all of you. I’m thankful for my wonderful son and for all the joy his Dylan has brought to our lives. Thank you for having us today, Roni, and for keeping us close to your heart since we lost Patrick.”
I blow her a kiss and put my hand over my heart to let her know what her words mean to me.
As each of our loved ones focuses their gratitude on us, I start to feel a sense of calm come over me. These people love us. They want the best for us, and there’s no sense in keeping our plans a secret for their sakes.
When it’s my turn, I take a second to get my thoughts together. “Last Thanksgiving, just over a month after I lost Patrick, I honestly thought my life was over, too. I couldn’t imagine having to live every day of the rest of my life without him with me. I still wake up every single day and have to accept all over again that he’s really gone. Even after all this time, that still takes me by surprise. Without the support of all of you, I’m not sure where I’d be right now, so I’m most thankful for the people gathered here today, as well as my sisters, my brother and a bevy of new friends for getting me through this year. I’m thankful to my sweet Dylan, who has been such a joy to me and all of us. I’m thankful to my darling Maeve and her daddy, Derek, who have given me, well… everything. After I first lost Patrick, I honestly thought I’d be a
lone going forward. I, um, didn’t expect anything like this to happen… But over months of warm, genuine friendship, through all the crushing lows of new widowhood and the soaring highs of new motherhood, Derek… You’ve been my rock, my friend, my love. I love you and Maeve so much.”
“We love you, too,” he says. “You and Dylan.”
I look at him when I continue. “Last month, Derek asked me to marry him, and I accepted.”
The news is met with gasps of surprise.
“We… We weren’t going to say anything for a while yet, because we know some people will think it’s too soon or too this or too that, but for us, it’s just right. Our relationship has given us both something we needed very badly after our tragic losses, and that’s hope for a future that’s full of love and joy and happiness. We can have those things even as we continue to grieve the loss of Patrick and Victoria and honor their memories while we raise the children they left us. I… I hope that you all can be happy for us and be part of our new life together, that we’ll celebrate many more holidays just like this one. And, well… That’s a very long way of saying I’m thankful for life and love and second chances.”
My dad clears his throat as he raises his glass. “To life and love and second chances.”
The others chime in, touch glasses and celebrate our news.
I’m still a tiny bit on edge waiting to hear what Susan and Pete think of it.
“If I may,” Pete says, “I just want to add our congratulations to you, Roni, Derek, Maeve and Dylan. Our son… Our Patrick… He loved you so much, Roni, and you made him so very, very happy.”
“Thank you,” I whisper, using my napkin to dab at tears.
“After getting to know you, Derek, Susan and I feel confident that our son would’ve liked you, and he would’ve appreciated the way you’ve cared for Roni and Dylan. So, on his behalf, we thank you for that, and we wish you both a lifetime of well-deserved happiness.”
“That means so much to us, Pete,” Derek says.
I appreciate him speaking for both of us, because I’m contending with a giant lump in my throat.
“It’ll always be important to us to honor and remember Patrick and Victoria,” he adds, “and to keep them alive in the lives of Maeve and Dylan."
