Until We Kissed (Pine Valley Book 6)

by Heather B. Moore

  Felicity still wasn’t talking.

  Livvy opened her eyes to see that Felicity was leaning back on the couch too, staring at her in wonder.

  “Say something, please,” Livvy said. “Tell me that I’m dreaming. That I didn’t just have the best kiss of my life with a man who is not a doctor.”

  Felicity smiled.

  “Don’t laugh.”

  “I’m not,” Felicity said, although she sounded on the verge of laughing. “I’m sorry that you’re so... distressed over this, but I’m not surprised.”

  “What do you mean?” Livvy frowned. “You’re not surprised that I attacked poor Mason Rowe in the library, or you’re not surprised that doctors aren’t better kissers?”

  Felicity pulled her feet up and sat cross-legged while facing Livvy. “I hate to break it to you, but Slade is kind of a jerk when it comes to relationships. So I don’t blame you for kissing the man you see every day and the man who actually listens to you and wants to spend time with you.”

  “Does this mean I’m desperate for affection or something?” Livvy asked.

  “I don’t know what it means,” Felicity said, all laughter gone from her tone now. “Although, you were the one who built up an entire fantasy relationship with a doctor before you even met Slade. So I think reality is calling BS on your boyfriend fantasies.”

  Livvy bit her lip. Which kind of still felt bruised from all that kissing. Mason might have tried to stop her a time or two, but he’d keep up his end of the kissing match quite well. A warm shiver went through her at the thought of his hands on her, his mouth on hers, his smile, his whispered words . . .

  “Liv?” Felicity prompted.

  “Okay, here’s the thing,” Livvy said, pulling one of the throw pillows and squeezing it against her chest. “I was caught up in the moment. It was a mistake.”

  “Slade’s still the one?” Felicity said.

  “Of course.” Livvy held out her phone to Felicity, and she leaned over to read the text that Slade had sent twenty minutes ago.

  Hey, Liv. Do you have Thanksgiving plans? If you’re not going to your parents, do you want to come to mine?

  Felicity brought a hand to her mouth to cover up a gasp.

  “I know, right?” Livvy put the phone on the coffee table because she didn’t want to read the text that should have made her feel like she’d won the lottery. The invitation that she’d been hoping would come—to meet Slade’s parents. And on a family holiday. In other words, they’d be a couple, and she’d be introduced as his girlfriend.

  She should be celebrating. She should be jumping up and down and feeling giddy. But all she felt was guilty.

  “So . . .” Felicity smoothed back her brunette hair. “If you hadn’t kissed Mason today, how would this text make you feel?”

  Livvy frowned. “What do you mean? I’m happy about the invitation. It’s the next step in my relationship with Slade.”

  “You don’t look happy,” Felicity countered. “You look pretty miserable.”

  “That’s because I did a stupid thing, and now I have to tell Slade,” Livvy said. “He’ll probably dump me. Mason will see right through me. And I’ll be going home for Thanksgiving to sulk.”

  “You don’t have to tell Slade,” Felicity said. “I doubt Mason is going to be announcing it to anyone.”

  Livvy worried her lip again. “Good point.”

  “But . . .”

  “But if Slade had kissed another girl, I’d want to know.”

  Felicity nodded. “Would you break up with him?”

  Exhaling, Livvy thought about it. “Probably. Which means that I shouldn’t tell Slade if I want to stay together. Which will only bring me more guilt.” Livvy buried her face in her hands again, and Felicity rubbed her back.

  Livvy couldn’t believe she’d gotten herself into this situation. She didn’t want to hurt either man. She didn’t want to play them off each other. Slade was... her dream. Mason was... temporary. A diversion? Another fantasy?

  She lifted her head. “What if Mason thinks I’m looking for a hookup? That I’m only fangirling.”

  “Are you?” Felicity asked.

  Livvy rubbed her face. “Neither... I mean I am a huge fan, but I’m not that type of woman. Or at least, I didn’t think I was. My actions have been pretty rotten.”

  “I’m making hot chocolate,” Felicity said, rising from the couch. “Everything will seem better after you’ve gotten some chocolate in your system.”

  “I don’t think even chocolate can fix this,” Livvy said.

  “I have ice cream, too.”

  “Mint chocolate chip?”

  “Of course.”

  Two hours later, Livvy woke up. Apparently she’d fallen asleep on Felicity’s couch after her self-induced sugar coma. When the memories of the day came flooding back to her, she had to check her phone to be sure that it wasn’t all some horrible dream. Yep, there was Slade’s text about Thanksgiving—which she still hadn’t answered. And... yep, there was Mason Rowe’s number saved in her contacts. He’d even added the address of his cabin and his San Diego address.

  Hmm. Interesting. She didn’t know how much to read into that.

  Livvy sat up and ran a hand over her hair. She could hear some music playing, or maybe it was a TV, coming from Felicity’s bedroom. Darkness had fallen, and although Livvy only lived a few houses down, she was reluctant to go back home. Her roommate, Mallory, knew little about all that had gone on with Mason, just that he was writing at the library, and it would be hard to keep her current mood hidden.

  The fewer people who knew about Livvy’s screwup, the better. She scrolled through her texts with Slade. She’d kept their conversations from the very first text, and Livvy remembered how flattered she’d been in the beginning. She was still flattered, and now he’d asked her to a major family event.

  Yet the invitation felt like a rock in her stomach. What would happen when she told Slade about kissing another man? Would he dump her on the spot? Would he be angry? Would he forgive her? Would he ever trust her again?

  Livvy blew out a breath and rose from the couch, then folded the blanket that Felicity must have draped over her. She walked down the hall to Felicity’s bedroom and knocked on the door, then cracked it open.

  Felicity was stretched out on her bed, reading a book while music played.

  “Hi,” Livvy said, hovering in the doorway. “Thanks for the chocolate and the couch and for letting me dump on you.”

  Felicity sat up on the bed and patted the area next to her. So Livvy walked into the room and sat by her.

  “Okay, I need to tell you something that you might not agree with,” Felicity said. “But I’ve been thinking while you’ve been asleep. I also might have googled ‘how to know if a guy likes you’ and ‘ten ways to save a relationship’ and finally ‘how to know when a kiss means he’s into you.’”

  “What?” Livvy said with a laugh. “I kissed him, remember.”

  Felicity smiled. “But he kissed you back, and by your description, it wasn’t a quick peck.”

  Heat rose in Livvy’s face. “Not quick at all.”

  “So . . .” Felicity said, adjusting her glasses, then folding her hands in her lap. “Since I’ve become quite a relationship expert in the last two hours, I’m advising you not to tell Slade yet.”

  Livvy blinked. “Why not?”

  “You need to find out if Mason is a fling or if you really like him,” Felicity said. “If you really like him, then break up with Slade. If Mason is a fling, and you’re still devoted to Slade, then beg for Slade’s forgiveness.”

  Livvy bit one of her nails even though she hadn’t bitten her nails since she was seven and her mom had painted on that nasty oil. “Sounds... tricky. I mean, how am I supposed to know if I really like Mason? And how do I know if he really likes me?”

  “That’s the hard part,” Felicity said. “You’re going to have to spend more time with him, and you’ll probably have to ask him straig
ht out.”

  Livvy scoffed. “I’m not going to have ‘the talk’ after a first kiss. It was more flirty than anything, casual... a one-time thing.”

  Felicity arched her brows.

  “Okay, so is it horrible to admit that I’m insanely attracted to Mason?” Livvy said in a half-whisper. “He’s good-looking, but it’s much more than that. We connect, and he seems to always be around. And his brain fascinates me, and—” She cut herself off and slumped.

  “You have a week until Thanksgiving,” Felicity said. “You’ll know by then. Accept Slade’s invitation. Figure out how you feel about Mason. It will never be too late to change your dinner plans. You can always come here.”

  “You’re not going home?” Livvy asked.

  “I have to work the Black Friday sales,” Felicity said. “So I don’t want to have to make the trek back and forth in a single day.”

  Livvy blew out a breath. “Okay, if I don’t go to Slade’s, then I’ll have dinner with you.”

  Mason didn’t really expect Livvy to call him, although she now had his number. But he kept checking his phone. Even when he turned up the ringer, set it on the kitchen counter, then went into the other room to try to write a few pages, he still got up to check the phone.

  She wasn’t going to call. It was too late now, nearly ten o’clock, and besides, she was probably trying to figure out how to politely tell him to leave her alone. He, of course, would oblige, but he wouldn’t be happy about it. Yes, it was the right thing to do. Not only because of the boyfriend situation or the fact his home was in San Diego, but what she’d said to him had made him think. Deeply. And they weren’t pleasant thoughts.

  He had lived a loveless life for years. His mother had been the only one he’d felt unconditional love from. Sure, his father loved him on the level that he could—a level that pretty much only connected them by biology. And his agent, Jolene? If he stopped writing altogether, their relationship would eventually dissolve to annual holiday cards—from her side. He’d never sent a holiday card in his life, and he wasn’t about to start now.

  When the lawsuit had blown up in his face, it was true that there hadn’t been anyone there for him. The fact hadn’t occurred to him, thus it hadn’t bothered him one bit. Until now. Was he subhuman or something? No. If he were, he wouldn’t be emotionally affected by things like lawsuits, name slandering, and looming deadlines. He’d be able to work without caring about much else. Get his manuscripts turned in, collect royalty checks, pay the bills.

  Dammit. He did care. He cared that he’d become such a recluse. He cared that Livvy might right now be wondering how to let him down. He cared about her and her small-town life, and his aching heart proved it.

  Mason paced the floors of the cabin, walking from the plush rug to the expensive hardwood to the Italian tile, then back to the rug that muffled his frustrated steps.

  He liked Livvy.

  Sure, she had flaws like any other person. The biggest one by the name of Slade. But her complexities were endearing and somewhat adorable. And that kiss in the library... was the most authentic and genuine experience he’d ever had. Her desire for him had been palpable, and this was why he couldn’t write tonight. Livvy had bewitched him.

  She’d crept her way into the corners of his life and blown away the cobwebs.

  He needed to speak to her, even it if was to hear the dreaded words. He needed to have closure on what had been building between them for the past weeks. Perhaps they could come to some sort of agreement. She’d stay at her end of the library, and he’d stay at his end. He’d wish her well with the doc and everything else in her life at Pine Valley.

  She’d read his book when it finally released next summer and maybe email him through his website. They’d exchange a few emails and reminisce. And this time next year, they’d only be a fond memory in each other’s lives.

  No.

  That’s not what Mason wanted at all. But what choice did he have?

  His phone rang, and Mason nearly tripped in his hurry to grab it from the kitchen counter.

  Jolene.

  Mason hesitated before answering, but he knew Jolene would call back in five minutes.

  “Hello,” he grumped.

  “Good evening. I guess we’re getting straight to the point, then?” Jolene said, her tone cautious.

  Mason sank onto the barstool next to the counter. “A few paragraphs today. Nothing substantial.” He felt Jolene’s disappointment all the way from New York.

  “Did you do anything different today?” she asked.

  Mason laughed. It wasn’t a warm laugh.

  She waited.

  Mason knew he couldn’t hide things from his agent, at least not things that slowed his progress. “I might have gotten a little too caught up in the quaint things of Pine Valley.”

  “Is one of those things named Olivia Harmon?” Jolene asked, her tone exasperated.

  “Livvy,” he corrected.

  Jolene sighed. Then she changed tactics. “A day of no writing isn’t too much to stress over. Get some sleep. Start fresh tomorrow.”

  “I will,” Mason said. “I want to establish a new routine anyway. I can’t always write at a library.”

  “No, you can’t,” Jolene said in a firm voice. “I’ll look forward to speaking tomorrow night.”

  “See you.” Mason hung up. The quiet cabin felt hollow. Empty like his heart and his life. He needed to forget today.

  He had no alcohol in the cabin, which was probably a good thing. So he’d sit in the hot tub until he felt relaxed enough to sleep. Since he hadn’t brought a swimsuit, he changed into his gym shorts and grabbed a towel. The hot tub was always kept warm, and it didn’t take too long for the heater to make it steamy.

  Mason stepped into the water, sat down, then leaned his head back and closed his eyes, trying to let his mind go numb. The heated water and the bubbles were soothing. Maybe he should do this every night.

  He was somewhere between half-awake and half-asleep when his phone rang. He snapped his head up and eyed his phone where he’d set it atop the towel. Would Jolene call him back so soon? He groaned and moved across the hot tub to look at the phone.

  Livvy.

  Mason patted one hand on the towel in an effort to dry it, then he picked up the cell and answered, hoping that he didn’t sound half-asleep.

  “Where are you?” Livvy asked.

  This stopped his muddled thoughts. “Are you at the cabin?”

  “I am.”

  Goose bumps skittered along Mason’s body. “I’m in the hot tub. Hang on, I’ll get out and open the door.”

  “No, that’s okay,” she said. “I’ll come around back. I don’t want to be a bother.”

  Before he could protest, she’d hung up.

  Mason debated whether he should get out and wrap up in the towel, or if... maybe he could entice her to join him. He liked the second idea better.

  So he settled back into his place, and moments later, Livvy appeared near the stone wall. Her white coat—the same one he knew wasn’t all that warm—glowed beneath the moonlight.

  She climbed over the wall, then landed on the other side.

  “Where are your boots?” Mason asked as she neared. “Your feet are going to freeze. Again.”

  Livvy laughed, and the sound wrapped its way around his heart. She reached the deck and stamped the snow from her shoes. “You and your obsession with my feet.”

  Mason grinned. “You wore tennis shoes? Good choice.”

  “I wasn’t planning on hiking through two feet of snow.”

  “I could have opened the front door,” he said.

  Livvy shook her head. “I don’t want to bother you more than I already have. I just needed to talk to you for a minute.”

  Mason’s stomach went hollow.

  “At least put your feet in,” he said, trying to keep his tone light. “You can use my towel to dry them after.”

  Livvy walked to the edge of the hot tub and peered into
the water.

  The glow from the hot tub lights in combination with her white coat made her skin look ethereal. Which she pretty much was. The woman of an unattainable dream.

  “All right.” Livvy sat on the edge by the steps, opposite from Mason. She slipped off her tennis shoes, then peeled off her socks.

  “Are those Wonder Woman socks?” Mason asked, holding back a laugh. “I don’t suppose those come in wool?”

  Livvy smirked. “They don’t come in wool, but they’re perfectly warm when I’m walking on dry pavement.” She tugged the hem of her jeans above each calf.

  “I don’t think there’s going to be dry pavement in Pine Valley for quite a while,” he said.

  Livvy only smiled as she dipped her feet into the water and set them on the top step.

  “Are you sure you don’t want to come all the way in?” Mason said. “You could strip down, and I won’t look.”

  Livvy’s brows rose.

  “To your underwear, of course,” he said. “You know, like a bikini.”

  “I don’t think that would be a good idea,” Livvy said, her tone serious.

  Mason reached for the switch that controlled the jets and turned it off. The sound of the hot tub diminished, and as the quiet settled, he said, “I guess we do need to talk.”

  Livvy nodded, and he wished he could read her expression.

  “I don’t know what came over me earlier today in the library,” she said in a soft voice, looking down at the water. “So I came to apologize. It wasn’t fair of me to, uh, approach you like that, and I’m sorry. It shouldn’t have happened.”

  “It’s been a strange couple of days,” Mason said. “But don’t worry, I’m not offended.”

  Livvy sighed and shed her coat. Then she leaned forward and skimmed her fingers over the water. “I’ve never been impulsive like that, and I don’t want you to think I regularly accost men. I mean... we’ve been friends, and I hate to ruin that.”

  Mason smiled. “We’re still friends. And I probably shouldn’t admit this, but I’ve been thinking about kissing you for a while now, though I considered you off limits.”