Strange Tales from Liaozhai--Volume 6

by Pu Songling

  Stunned, Song left to inform his brother-in-law about what he’d discovered, and Wenji’s lover finally realized that she was a ghost. When she came to him that night, he told her what Song had said. “It’s true,” she admitted. “You, however, wanted a beautiful woman, and I wanted a handsome husband. Since we’re so satisfied with each other, human or ghost—what difference does it make?” The young man was in complete agreement with her sentiment.

  When he finished his examinations and returned home, Wenji went with him. She was visible to no one except her beloved. When they arrived at his house, he had Wenji and her things moved into his study. Since he began sleeping there exclusively, his parents began to suspect that something was going on.

  When the Jiaping gentleman’s sister went to visit their own family, she finally revealed the truth to their mother. She was quite shaken, and warned her son that he had to end the relationship. The young man, however, refused to listen to her. His parents were so gravely worried about him that they tried every trick they could think of to drive the ghost away, but nothing worked.

  One day, the young man left some instructions on a note card for his servants, though the phrases were full of writing errors when he placed the card on a table: instead of “pepper” he wrote the character for “beans,” instead of the character for “ginger” he wrote “river,” and instead of “hateful” he wrote “unrestrained.” When Wenji saw the card, she read it and remarked, “Why ‘unrestrained’? ‘The beans should be mixed with the river.’ What kind of husband would this be—it’d be better just to be a prostitute!”

  Then she told the young man, “Originally I took you to be a scholar from an influential family, and hence suffered the shame of giving myself to you. But you’re nothing more than a pretty surface! You look like the kind of man I wanted, but it turns out that you’re nothing but a joke!” As soon as she finished speaking, she disappeared.

  _________

  “Pepper” . . . “unrestrained”: The characters either bear superficial visual similarities (椒/jiao/pepper and 菽/shu/ beans; 可恨/kehen/hateful and 可浪/ke lang/unrestrained) or similar sounds (first tone jiang for both 姜/ginger and 江/river). Beans should be mixed with the river: Apparently, the young man was trying to direct his servants to be sure to include pepper and ginger in their food preparation.

  The young man felt ashamed and regretful, but he still didn’t understand what she’d found wrong with his writing, so he proceeded to show the card to his servants. Everyone who heard about this passed it on to others, making the young man a laughingstock.

  The collector of these strange tales remarks, “Wenji was such a charming girl! What she wanted was just a gentleman of refined knowledge! Thus she felt it was preferable to be a prostitute than to suffer the shameful tears of being his wife or concubine. And though his parents’ manifold strategies had failed to drive her away, then she saw his ridiculous card telling the servants to ‘mix the beans with the river,’ which had the same effect of driving off the ghost as Du Fu’s poem and the image of ‘Zizhang’s skull’!”

  The Record of an Ear observes that “Near a road, someone put out some tea to treat passersby, writing a note that read, ‘Feces provided for those who might be friends.’ It’s hilarious that the individual miswrote ‘tea’ as ‘feces.’”

  There was a high official’s son who later fell into poverty, and outside his gate he once posted an advertisement that read, “Ancient obscene objects sold here.” He miswrote “kiln” as “obscene”: “We have Xuan obscene objects and Ding obscene objects, small or large, so please come in to examine the objects and offer a price for them.”

  _________

  Du Fu’s . . . ‘Zhizhang’s skull’: Duan Zizhang, a Tang dynasty (618-907 C.E.) rebel, was decapitated by a general named Cui Guangyuan. On the Du Fu poem containing this gruesome reference, see Zhu (3:1555n17).

  Record of an Ear: Written by Pu Songling’s friend, Zhu Xiangceng (Zhu 3:1555n18).

  ‘Tea’ . . . ‘Feces’: The crossbar of the grass radical atop cha (茶), or “tea,” is mistakenly imagined in the top portion of the character gong (恭), or “feces.”

  If the offspring of high officials can make such mistakes, it’s no surprise that Wenji found a young gentleman writing a sentence like “The beans should be mixed with the river”!

  _________

  ‘Kiln’ . . . ‘Obscene’: More superficial visual similarities exist between the characters for “obscene” (淫) and for “kiln” (磘), which can also be translated as “china” or “china vase.”

  Xuan . . . Ding: The former refers to the famous white porcelain with a cobalt blue underglaze that was produced during the Ming dynasty reign of emperor Xuande (ruled 1425-35), while the latter alludes to the creamy white Dingzhou porcelain produced during the Song dynasty (960-1279) in Quyang county, in Hebei province.

  453. The Two Bans

  Yin Yuanli, from Yunnan, was skilled in the techniques of acupuncture and moxibustion. When bandits overran his town, he was forced to flee deep into the mountains. By the time the daylight had turned to dusk, he was still a long way from any villages or homes and he became scared of running into some wild beasts. In the distance he could make out a pair of men standing beside the path, so he quickly headed in their direction.

  As Yin caught up with them, they asked him how he’d come to be there, so he recounted who he was, and what had happened to him. The two men greeted him respectfully, exclaiming, “You’re a fine doctor, Master Yin, and here in the mountains, we’ve admired you for a long time!” Yin, in turn, asked the men about themselves.

  The two said that their surname was Ban, and one was named Ban Zhua, the other Ban Ya. “Master Yin, we’ve also taken refuge here,” they told him, “and we’ve got a stone house where we can stay at night, so we humbly invite you to join us there, where we’d like to beg a favor of you.” Yin was very pleased to accompany them.

  Presently they came to the stone house, located near some cliffs overlooking a valley. They lit a fire to provide some illumination, and Yin could finally see that the two Bans looked fierce and bold, certainly not like refined individuals. Reasoning, however, that he had nowhere else to go, he decided to stay and hear them out.

  _________

  Ban Zhua . . . Ban Ya: Their first names prove perfectly appropriate here, as zhua (爪) means “claw,” and ya (牙) means “tooth.”

  At that point there came a groan from a nearby bed, and when he went to examine its source, he found an old woman lying stiffly there, as if in considerable pain. “What’s she suffering from?” asked Yin.

  Ban Ya replied, “This is what we wished to ask you about, Master Yin.”

  The Bans held burning sticks close to the bed to provide more light, then asked the doctor to take a closer look. He examined the area below her nose and discovered a pair of wens at the corners of her mouth, each the size of a small bowl. The Bans informed him, “They’re so painful that she can’t bear for anything to touch them, so she hasn’t been able to drink or eat.”

  “This is easily remedied,” Yin assured them. He took a clump of mugwort, lit it on fire, and applied moxibustion, comforting them, “She’ll recover overnight.”

  The two Bans were overjoyed, so they roasted some deer to entertain their guest; since they had no wine or rice, their fare consisted solely of the deer. Ban Zhua apologized, “We didn’t know that we’d have a guest all of a sudden like this, so we hope you won’t think us disrespectful or odd.” Yin ate his fill of the roasted meat and prepared to go to sleep, using a stone for his pillow. But while Ban Zhua and Ban Ya were honest and simple fellows, they were also a bit uncouth in an inexplicably frightening way, so Yin turned over on his side, unable to fall asleep.

  Before there was even light in the morning sky, he called over to the old lady, asking her how she felt. She’d just awakened, so she reached up and felt the two wens, which had shrunk to mere scars. Yin instructed Ban Zhua and Ban Ya to go bring some b
urning wood from the fire for light, and then he applied some herbal shavings to the spots and declared, “You’re fine now.”

  The others expressed their humble appreciation to him as Yin prepared to leave. The Bans then took a roast deer leg and presented it to him in gratitude.

  Three years passed, and Yin heard no further word of the Ban family. It happened then that Yin was traveling through the mountains when he met a pair of wolves that blocked his way so he couldn’t proceed. As the sun set in the west, a whole pack of wolves arrived, surrounded Yin, and then attacked him.

  A wolf leapt at him, knocking him to the ground; several wolves starting clawing and biting at him, ripping up his clothes. Yin figured he was sure to die. Suddenly a pair of tigers rushed out, scattering the wolves in all directions. With mighty roars of anger, the tigers terrified the wolves into paralyzed submission. Pouncing, the tigers killed all the wolves, then simply left after doing so.

  Yin bolted in disoriented panic since he had no place to stay. He ran into an old woman who suddenly appeared, looked him over, and cried, “Poor Master Yin, what an ordeal to suffer!” The distressed Yin relaxed a bit and asked how the woman happened to recognize him. “You used moxibustion a while back, in a stone house,” she replied, “to cure an old woman of her wens.” Realizing all of sudden that she was one of the Bans, he anxiously entreated her to allow him to stay with her for the night.

  The old lady led him away and soon they entered a courtyard where lanterns had already been set out, as she informed him, “I’ve been waiting for you for a long time.” She took out a fresh robe and pants for him to put on in place of his torn clothing. Then she fixed him something to eat, urging him in sincere appreciation not to hold back. The old lady also took a pottery bowl and helped herself to some wine, chatting as they drank with great exuberance, not at all like what one would expect from a woman.

  “Those two men I met the other day, granny, weren’t they your sons?” asked Yin. “Why aren’t they here?”

  The old lady replied, “I sent my two boys to meet you, but they haven’t come home yet, so they must’ve lost their way.” Yin was quite moved by her solicitous kindness, so he drank uninhibitedly until he reached the point of passing out where he was sitting.

  It was already dawn by the time he regained consciousness, and as he looked around, there was no courtyard—he was alone, sitting atop a large rock. He heard a sound like the heavy breathing of an ox below, and when he looked over the side of the rock, he saw an old tiger sleeping soundly.

  On the sides of its mouth there were two scars, each of them the size of a fist. At first he was afraid that the beast would awaken and track him before he could escape. But then it dawned on him that the two tigers who saved him must have been the two Bans, Ban Zhua and Ban Ya.

  454. The Carter

  There was a carter who was doing his utmost to push his loaded cart up a hill, when a wolf suddenly came along and bit him in the ass. He wanted to let loose of the cart, but was afraid that it would roll back over him, so he endured the pain and kept pushing. By the time he reached the top, the wolf had already bitten off a chunk of flesh and run away.

  Thus the creature took advantage of him when he couldn’t do anything about it, stealing a little taste of fresh meat in a way both shrewd and funny.

  455. Divining with the Immortals

  Mi Buyun, from Zhangqiu, was skilled at spirit summoning. This involved asking questions of the immortals by holding a wooden plate in the sands for them to come and write upon. One day, a friend spotted a tiny cloud in the sky which inspired him to write the line, “Like suet or white jade in the sky.” He invited Mi to match it with a line of his own.

  Mi Buyun immediately found an immortal writing the words, “Ask for old Dong in the town to the south.” His friend thought that he was just making up some nonsense.

  Afterwards, when Mi happened to be in the town to the south, he came to a place where the ground was as red as cinnabar, which he found quite strange. He saw an old man leaning up against something, tending his pigs, so he asked him why the place was so red.

  “This is ‘The ground red with pig blood,’” replied the old man. Suddenly Mi recalled the line that the spirit summoning had generated, and was quite astonished. Mi asked the old man his name, and he answered, “I’m old Dong.”

  It might not be the strangest thing that ever happened, but to know ahead of time that he was going to meet old Dong in the town to the south is surely an example of divination!

  _________

  Zhangqiu: A county in Pu’s time, now associated with Jinan, capital of Shandong province.

  456. “Scholar” Miao

  Scholar Gong was from Minzhou. While traveling to take the civil service examination in Xi’an, he stopped to rest at an inn, where he purchased some wine and proceeded to pour himself a drink. A man of brave and powerful appearance entered the inn, took a seat and started chatting with Gong.

  The scholar raised his goblet and urged the man to drink with him, so his guest didn’t refuse. He introduced himself as Miao, speaking and laughing in an unrestrained manner. Gong felt he was an illiterate man and treated him arrogantly.

  Once they finished their wine, Gong decided he wasn’t going to purchase any more. Miao declared, “There’s nothing as boring as drinking with a scholar!” He stood up and went off to the wine shop to buy some more, then came back carrying an enormous wine jar.

  Gong tried to take his leave by saying that he couldn’t drink any more, and when Miao seized his arm to try to persuade him to keep drinking, his arm hurt so much that it felt like it was going to break. Gong had no choice but to keep drinking until he’d finished several cups of wine.

  Miao took a soup bowl to gulp down the last of the wine, laughing as he said, “I’m not very good at persuading guests to drink, so you can decide for yourself when to stop.”

  _________

  Minzhou: A prefecture in Pu’s time, now part of Min county, Gansu province.

  Gong packed immediately and continued on his journey. After traveling a distance of several li outside town, Gong’s horse became sick and was forced to lie down along the way, so Gong sat down there beside the road. With all of his heavy baggage, he didn’t have any ideas about how to handle his situation, but just then Miao arrived.

  Miao asked him what had happened, then took off his coat and handed it to Gong’s servant, lifted up the horse, put its belly over his shoulder and carried it off, hastening some twenty li, until he came to an inn, where he lifted the horse down and set it in a stable. Moments later, Gong and his servant arrived. Gong was amazed by this godlike display of strength and generously treated Miao with wine and food purchased from the marketplace, as they ate and drank together.

  “I have a prodigious appetite,” said Miao, “and you could never give me enough to eat, but I can be sated with drink.” Thus he finished off a jar of wine before standing to take his leave, explaining, “Your horse is going to need quite some time to heal, but I can’t wait that long, so I’ll go now.” Then he left.

  After Gong had finished taking the civil service examination, three or four scholar friends invited him to go with them to Huashan, so they could enjoy a picnic there. While they were laughing and eating together, Miao suddenly appeared, carrying a large wine jar in his left hand, and a large ham in his right hand, which he set down as he informed them, “When I heard that all of you were coming up into the mountain, I decided I’d humbly tag along.”

  The group of them stood up and courteously welcomed him, then randomly sat down beside each other again, joyously drinking to the full limit of their capacities. The others all decided that they wanted to engage in a poetry competition. Miao argued against it, remarking, “We’re all happy to be drinking freely, so we shouldn’t ruin the mood with serious thoughts.”

  _________

  Li: A distance equal to 1/3 mile.

  Huashan: A mountain located in Shaanxi province.

  But the o
thers wouldn’t listen and established a penalty of three cups of wine for the competition. Miao said, “That’s not much of a penalty—what about making it a death penalty!”

  “That’s taking the punishment a bit too far,” laughed the others.

  “Well, if you’re not going to pursue any more dire punishment than that,” replied Miao, “maybe even a brawny fellow like me can try to compete.”

  To start them off, scholar Jin recited, “The lofty promontory draws the eye to the beautiful sky.”

  Without even thinking, Miao responded, “The chamber-pot struck by the sword shines redly.”

  While the next participant sat for a long time thinking about his own line to answer Jin’s challenge, Miao raised the jar of wine and tipped it up to drink. Shortly thereafter, the others all offered lines which they had to admit were not very good. Miao shouted, “If that’s the best you can do, you’ll have to overlook my line and not make any more!” But the others just ignored him.

  Miao couldn’t stand it and immediately began roaring like a dragon, till the mountains and valleys shook with the sound of it; then he leapt up and down like he was a rampaging lion. This completely interrupted the concentration of the others, so they had to stop their recitations and consequently began drinking freely once again.

  _________

  Chamber-pot . . . shines redly: Miao’s line contains a learned literary allusion to the story of warrior Wang Dun (courtesy name Chuzhong), another rough fellow like Miao. According to the Book of Jin, the historical account of the Jin dynasty (265-420), on one occasion Wang was chanting poetry while he “knocked” the “chamber-pot to keep the beat” till the rim “became full of chips” (Wang 73n18). It “shines redly” presumably as a reflection of his personal proclivity (both Wang’s and Miao’s) towards violence.