by K. C. Crowne
“It’s going to take time,” she said softly. “Right now, you’re still a stranger to her, but give it time.”
I hoped she was right.
We stepped into the restaurant and found a table for four. Abby’s eyes lit up as she stared at all the games and rides. I wondered if she’d ever been to a Chuck E. Cheese before from the look on her shocked face.
Hannah smiled and spoke directly to Abby. “Why don’t we order first, then play a bit before our food arrives. Does that sound like fun, Abby?”
Abby nodded her head, acknowledging us for the first time. Hannah giggled, very pleased with herself, and I was just as excited. Sally also seemed pleased, giving the little girl a pat on her hand.
We hurried and ordered our pizza. Abby was nearly bouncing in her seat. She whispered something to Sally, but the older woman merely said, “You’ll have to ask them.”
Abby looked at us with big eyes. She seemed scared to say anything to either of us. Finally, she leaned over to Hannah, who was sitting on the other side of her and whispered.
Hannah responded, “Of course. We’ll do whatever you want today, Abby. It’s your day.” She then turned to me and said, “She wanted to know if I’d take her down the slide.”
“I’ll wait at the table,” Sally said. “My old body ain’t cut out for a place like this. But you three go, have fun.”
I stood up, and with Hannah, we walked to the ball pit and slide. Abby didn’t take my hand when I offered it but took Hannah’s instead. I remembered what Hannah had said earlier - it would take time. I stood back a bit and let Hannah lead the way. She waited at the bottom of the slide and caught Abby in her arms when the girl reached the bottom, both of them all smiles and giggles.
My heart grew about five times its normal size in that moment. Seeing Hannah connect with Abby was one of the sweetest things I’d ever seen in my life. Abby yelled “Again!” and walked up the stairs to the slide all on her own. Hannah glanced at me with the biggest grin I’ve ever seen.
I gave her a thumbs up and walked over to join them. Abby stared at me with a nervous look in her eyes as she prepared to go down the slide. Hannah was at the bottom, preparing to catch her again. “Come on, sweetie. I’ve got you.”
Abby looked away from me, focusing on Hannah, and there was that smile again - dimples and all. She went down the slide, giggling until she was in Hannah’s arms.
While it was a joy to see the two of them so happy, part of me felt like a third wheel. Anytime I tried to speak to Abby, she shut down. I felt like we’d take two steps forward - with Hannah’s help - but the minute I tried to get involved, we’d take three steps back. I distanced myself, for Abby’s sake, and let her open up to Hannah. It was better than nothing, and Hannah was just so damn good with her. I wanted Abby to be comfortable and hoped she’d come around to trusting me eventually. She most likely never had a male figure in her life before, not a steady one. I didn’t want to force myself on her.
I just didn’t know how to go about bonding with her.
“Pizza’s here,” Sally called out.
Hannah took Abby’s hand and led her to the table. The little girl seemed sad to be leaving the play area, but Hannah promised, “Don’t worry. When we’re done eating, we can play a bit more.”
Abby took off and ran for the table, sitting down beside Sally with a grin. I walked behind with Hannah.
“You’re really good with her,” I said.
“Thanks,” she said. “It’s all the years of raising my siblings.”
I remembered what Hannah had told me - how she’d always wanted to work with children in some capacity. She’d be good at it. She’d also make an exceptional mother one day, something else she’d talked about wanting. Hopefully with the crappy job behind her, she could finally pursue what she wanted out of life.
And selfishly, I wanted her to be in my life. Not just mine, but also Abby’s.
Hannah
That night, we stayed at a hotel. There were a few more loose ends to tie up before we could take Abby home with us, but Stephanie was confident Justin would be able to take his daughter home with him to New York City within the next day or so. She was working as quickly as possible, while also considering Abby’s best interests.
That night, we got two separate rooms. I made sure of it. Not just because I was afraid of what might happen if we shared a bed again, but I had the pregnancy tests in my purse. And my period hadn’t started yet. I planned to take one that night, once we were in our own rooms.
Justin kept procrastinating going to bed. He wanted to talk, and I couldn’t blame him. After everything that had happened over the last few days, he needed a friend. So I sat up with him in the hotel bar, both of us sipping beers instead of actually drinking them.
“I just don’t know what’s best for her, Hannah,” Justin said, staring at the beer bottle and turning it around in his hand. “What if I screw things up? She’s already been through so much, and God knows I have no idea what I’m doing. Maybe she’d be better off getting adopted by a family instead--”
“No,” I cut him off. “We won’t even discuss that possibility.”
“Why not?” he asked, glancing at me. “What if that’s the best thing for her?”
I sighed. “Do you want to give up your daughter, Justin? Is this just some kind of cop-out because you don’t want to deal with her?”
I knew the answer already, or thought I did. I wanted him to think about it long and hard - did he actually want his daughter in his life?
He didn’t hesitate to answer. “Of course not. I want to be part of her life,” he said. “I want that more than anything.”
“Then why on Earth would you traumatize the poor girl by putting her through foster care until someone finally adopts her, if they ever do. She’s not a baby, she’s struggling with PTSD, and she could end up spending her entire life in the system, with no family of her own. Yes, there’s the chance she could get adopted by a loving couple and everything is perfect, but she already has a father who loves her dearly - why would you risk that?”
“Because I don’t know if I can be the father she needs,” he admitted.
“You’re more than capable of being a good dad, Justin,” I said. “Already, you’ve proven that you’re thinking about Abby’s needs above your own. That right there shows me you’re going to do just fine.”
“I don’t know,” he mumbled. “I don’t know if I can do it alone.”
“You’re not alone, Justin,” I said, taking the beer bottle from his hands and placing it on the bar. I took his hands in mine, making him turn to look at me. “I’m here for you.”
There was a pull at his lips, an attempt to smile. My heart jumped in my throat. Everything about him was just so perfect. I had a hard time believing he was the same guy who made my teenage years hell, who would choose booze and a random girl over a real connection.
“Hannah, I...” He stopped and shook his head. “Never mind.” He pulled his hands free and went back to facing the bar.
“No, Justin. Say it,” I encouraged, my insides turning to mush as I imagined what he might want to say to me. “You can tell me anything.”
“Can I?” he asked, giving me an apprehensive look. “Because what I want to say to you might change things, a whole hell of a lot.”
“Just tell me,” I insisted. My mouth felt parched, so I took a swig from my beer.
Justin took a deep breath, then turned to me. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
My heart sank. That’s not what I had expected to hear, nor did I think it was what he’d meant to say. He’d chickened out. Or did he? Was I wishing for something that wasn’t going to happen? I decided to not push the issue.
“Well, good thing you won’t have to be without me,” I said. “Because I’ll always be here.”
My eyes were growing heavy, and Justin must have noticed. He paid the tab and motioned for us to head out. He walked me to my room, which was next to his, and we stopped in
front of my door.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said, staring at the ground.
“Yeah, bright and early,” I chirped. We were taking Abby to breakfast, without Sally this time, and then to the aquarium. It was going to be a busy day.
I unlocked my door and paused before heading inside. Part of me yearned for him to stop me, to kiss me, to tell me what I thought he was going to say at the bar earlier.
But he just waved as I closed the door.
Once alone, I was relieved that he hadn’t taken the step I wanted him to but was afraid for him to. I needed an answer. I grabbed the pregnancy tests from my bag and rushed into the bathroom. I opened the first one, skimming the instructions.
With my hands shaking, I took the test and set it aside. I set a timer on my phone and waited the excruciatingly long few minutes for it to go off.
Finally, when it was time, I stared down at the stick and my heart dropped.
It was negative.
I wasn’t pregnant.
No, I told myself, it can’t be right. I took another just to be sure.
Also negative.
I should have been happy, and my actual reaction surprised me. My heart was broken. Tears welled in my eyes as I wondered if I'd ever get to be a mother. I knew this was for the best. Justin couldn’t have handled finding out I was pregnant with his child. But that didn’t stop the tears from falling.
A knock at the door caused me to jump. I quietly made my way to the front door and called out, “Who is it?”
“It’s me,” Justin said.
Biting my lip, I considered telling him it wasn’t a good time. But I wanted to see him.
“One second,” I said, running to the bathroom and discarding the pregnancy tests, hiding them in the trash can underneath some toilet paper. I rushed back to the door and opened it, planting a fake smile on my face.
“Hannah, I need to tell you something.”
“Is everything okay?”
He looked nervous as hell, wringing his hands, but he nodded. “Everything’s fine. It’s just-- I wanted to tell you this at the bar earlier, but I chickened out. I can’t hide it any longer, however.”
“Just spit it out already,” I said, chuckling nervously.
“I love you,” he blurted. “I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember, but I never wanted to admit it to myself since you’re Logan’s little sister.”
My heart skipped a beat. I was utterly speechless staring into his gorgeous eyes. When my head finally stopped spinning, I simply said, “I love you too, Justin.”
“Really?” he stammered.
“Yes,” I said, feeling like my insides burst from all the butterflies flying around in there.
Before either of us could say another word, Justin wrapped his arms around me and kissed me in the doorway to my room. His mouth against mine felt so natural, as if it was meant to be there. Like we were meant to be.
I backed up, pulling Justin with me into the room. He kicked the door shut as he stepped inside. His hands were already removing my clothes. He lifted my shirt over my head, then reached behind and unhooked my bra. It fell off, my breasts freed. He cupped them in his hands as he looked deep into my eyes.
“I know our lives are messy,” he said, “but I meant it when I told you I can’t imagine my life without you.”
“And I meant it when I said you wouldn’t have to,” I replied, standing on my tip-toes to kiss him sweetly.
I yanked off his shirt, and before long, our pants were falling to the floor. Justin pushed me onto the bed, hovering above me. His hands were laced with mine, pressing me down against the bed. He just stared at me like I was a goddess.
Wrapping my legs around his waist, I pleaded, “Please, Justin...”
He didn’t make me beg for him. He gave me exactly what we both wanted. He thrust into me, parting my lips with his cock and reaching the deepest parts of me. I cried out, my entire body writhing underneath him.
His mouth connected with mine, our tongues exploring each other’s mouths as our bodies moved together. His rock hard chest pressed against mine, and we were as close as two people can be.
The familiar tingles of an impending orgasm came on fast. It never took me long with Justin; his cock seemed made for my body, hitting me in all the right places. He released my hands, and I threaded them around his neck, holding on for dear life. My nails dug into his back as my pelvis pressed upward.
My pussy spasmed around his cock as I came, screaming out his name, “Justin! Yes! Justin!”
He leaned back, my legs falling to his sides. Taking one of my legs, he held it up over his shoulder as he stared into my eyes. He thrust deep inside me, almost too deep - close to the sensitive cervix. I screamed again. My orgasm had literally just ended, but another hit me hard and fast. I’d never had multiple orgasms in a row before, but as he fucked me, I had one after another. One, long continuous climax.
Seeing his face contorted with pleasure and hearing his breath growing more ragged, I knew he was close. I was still on the pill, but the thought of him impregnating me anyway turned me on so much. I wanted to have his baby but didn’t dare scream that out.
Instead, I begged, “Come inside me, Justin. Please!”
I pictured his seed filling me, finding my egg and putting a baby inside my womb. Justin’s body shuddered as he buried himself inside me, filling me with his cum.
“Yes, yes, yes,” I cried out, coming with him.
Our bodies rode the pleasure together. Finally, when every last drop was inside me, he collapsed and rolled over to my side. He took me in his arms and held me close, kissing my forehead, my nose, every part of my face.
“That was amazing,” he said.
“Yes, it was,” I agreed breathlessly.
“I’ve never experienced anything like that before,” he admitted, staring deep into my eyes, our foreheads touching. “You’re simply amazing, Hannah. I’m sorry it took me so long to see it, but now that I do - wow.”
I kissed the tip of his nose playfully. With a sly smile and a giggle, I teased, “Well at least you see it now.”
“I do,” he murmured, kissing me deeply. “We make one hell of a team, Hannah Wheeler.”
“That we do,” I agreed.
Ooo000ooo
The Georgia Aquarium is one of the biggest aquariums in the world and the biggest in the United States. Having never been there, I was just as excited as Abby. The idea of the three of us spending a day together was nice. With Justin and I having confessed our feelings for one another, there was a good chance I’d play a pivotal role in Abby’s life. Spending time with her was important.
However, I wanted to make sure the two of them got to connect a bit too, so I planned to stay back a bit at the aquarium, to give them some alone time together to bond.
Justin was trying his hardest without being too pushy. I had to give the guy a lot of credit; he was handling this a lot better than I would have expected. When Abby seemed to be more comfortable in Justin’s presence, I decided to take a quick bathroom break.
He was talking to her about jellyfish, and the two of them were marveling at the way they seemed to glow in the tanks. Not wanting to interrupt them and potentially destroy the moment, I slipped away quietly.
I had two reasons for wanting to slip away to the bathroom. One, obviously, was to use the restroom. The other was to read an email from my former boss, Elizabeth. I hadn’t had a free moment all morning, but once I was locked away in the bathroom stall, I pulled it up.
Hi Hannah,
I need the diamond piece you picked up for me. If I don’t have it within 24 hours, I will contact the authorities. I’m CCing my attorney on this message.
I wrote a quick response, explaining that I would be out of town for a few more days. I’d completely forgotten about the piece, so I reached in my purse just to be sure it was still there. It was. I hoped that she’d give me a few days to get back in town. I waited a bit, hoping she’d respond.
I finished my business, and as I wiped, I noticed blood on the toilet paper.
It told me what I already knew - that I wasn’t pregnant - but my heart still sank.
There was a response from Elizabeth’s attorney directly, not Elizabeth herself. The attorney had given me until the end of the week to return the piece. I knew Elizabeth would throw a fit, but her lawyer was obviously more rational. I had a few more days, at least. Maybe I could mail it back if all else failed.
Putting my phone away, I stepped out of the bathroom and looked around for Justin and Abby. They were no longer at the jellyfish exhibit. I walked around, finally spotting him, and he appeared to be looking for me.
“Where’s Abby?” I asked.
“I thought she was with you,” he said. “I was looking for the two of you.”
My heart stopped.
“No, I left you and Abby at the jellyfish exhibit and went to the bathroom.”
I turned around, looking everywhere for the little girl. We headed in opposite directions, calling out the little girl’s name.
She couldn’t have gone far, I told myself. Probably just stepped away to look at something and got distracted.
There was a security guard nearby, and I rushed over to him. But then I saw Abby in the distance, talking to a young man. The young man took her hand and started leading her away.
“Justin! I see her,” I called out, running for the man and Abby.
When the guy saw me, he droppedAbby’s hand and took off. I ran to her, and Justin chased the guy.
Kneeling, I hugged Abby tightly. “Are you okay?”
“Yes,” she said softly.
Justin joined us, out of breath. “I lost him,” he said. “He left the building.”
He and I shared a look. If the man had been innocently trying to help Abby find her parents, he wouldn’t have run away.
I turned back to Abby. “Who was that? What did he say to you?”
“He said he’d take me to my mommy,” she whispered sadly.
Justin knelt beside me, and he hugged her tightly. “Don’t ever go with someone you don’t know, Abby.”
