When You Look at Me (A Pleasant Gap Romance Book 2)

by Pepper Basham

  Julia’s entire expression transformed as she stared down at her daughter. “She’s…she’s beautiful.”

  “Like her mother.” Henry flushed at his too-quick answer yet refused to take back the sentiment—out loud or to himself.

  Sue grinned. “And that is the right answer.”

  The ambulance pulled up in front of their parked cars, and two men emerged from the white vehicle. Henry stepped back, separation from a scene in which he’d been much more than a spectator gripping his heart? But what was he? Boyfriend? No, she’d given him no indication of that for certain.

  A friend?

  Yes, that was all for now, despite the whirring of his heart that insisted otherwise. The paramedics assisted Julia from the car and moved her onto a stretcher and toward the ambulance.

  “I’ll phone your mother to bring your things to the hospital?”

  Julia looked up from her daughter. “Yes, please.”

  He nodded, thrusting his empty hands into his pockets. “And bring the car to your apartment?”

  “Yes.”

  He kept his gaze on her as the paramedics placed Julia and the baby into the ambulance. Why did he feel like he should be there? As if they were…his family?

  “Henry,” Julia’s voice reached him before one of the paramedics closed the doors.

  He surged forward a few steps. “Yes?”

  She held his gaze, her hair a wild mass of curls around her face, and then she sent him one of the most beautiful smiles he’d ever seen. “Thank you.”

  His palm rested against his chest as the doors closed and blocked her from his sight.

  Even as the ambulance pulled away, he stood staring, praying, holding to the connection he’d experienced with Julia and the baby.

  “There’s nothing like the love of family, is there, Henry?” Sue walked over to her truck and opened the door, measuring him with her eyes. “Those ladies are lucky to have someone who cares about them like you do.” She nodded before stepping up in her truck and driving away.

  The night sounds emerged around him. Crickets. Perhaps a frog? A wisp of breeze through the nearby forest.

  He leaned against the car, his knees weak with the miracle he’d witnessed. In the distance, the outline of the mountains stood watch around the vast landscape and led up to a fantastic starry sky in bloom. Henry’s smile grew, spreading full as the certainty pulsing through his tired body.

  Dear God, thank you for introducing me to my family.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  J ulia ran a finger down the side of her baby’s face, the tiny eyelashes brushing against those round cheeks as her darling daughter slept. Daughter. The thought settled into her heart with sweet power, pressing in with a tenderness that stole her breath. Her parents had met her at the hospital, armed with her bags and a determination to keep every family member at bay until Julia could get a little rest.

  The doctor later told her he’d never had twenty people come for a visit at once.

  Clearly, he was new to Appalachia—and more importantly, to the Jenkins family.

  They’d filled the small room with their love, laughter, and loud voices, until a nurse urged them out for the day and Julia finally attempted to take in this new part she had to play in her own story. Mother.

  She’d slept on and off throughout the night, eaten the hospital breakfast as if it were the best meal she’d had in her life, and then nestled into the momentary quiet of mother-and-baby.

  What a strange, beautiful, and scary place.

  Was she strong enough for a responsibility like this? Was she the best mother for this little girl?

  Julia looked over at her bag on the counter in the maternity room—a bag that held an adorable blue teddy bear outfit and a train gown with the colorful words bouncing baby boy emblazoned across the front.

  If she couldn’t even get the baby clothes right, then what about big decisions like preschools, friendships, college…marriage?

  Her throat constricted with each new possibility for an epic fail. She tugged the little body deeper into her embrace as if a hug might be enough to beat bad thoughts away.

  Hugs were powerful things.

  And then a whisper of a voice melded through the uncertainty in her spirit.

  I’m holding you. Do not be afraid.

  She stilled, closing her eyes, listening. God held her even more securely than she could ever hold her baby girl. More than that, God held her daughter, too.

  You are a part of My love song.

  A verse from Zephaniah flowed over her with an overwhelming peace.

  The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save;

  He will rejoice over you with gladness;

  He will quiet you by his love;

  He will exult over you with loud singing.

  Loud singing? She grinned. Nope, God didn’t love small and quiet. He loved big and loud. And the knowledge of such a love calmed her soul and wrapped her future in hope—no matter the verse or movement in the symphony of her life.

  Tears pierced her vision. Everything fit, woven into a beautiful duet of His love for her. She squeezed her eyes closed and let the tears slide down her cheeks. God even braided the painful pieces together into a glorious Hallelujah Chorus ending.

  She wiped away a tear, her smile pinching into her cheeks. What love!

  She pressed a kiss to her daughter’s soft head and thanked God for the hundredth time, her lungs filling with the desire to sing much too loudly for a sleeping baby’s peace of mind. But she did hum a newly loved tune a certain Brit had written for her.

  “Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness! I can’t believe I missed all the excitement.” Eisley burst into the room, her auburn hair flying around her with the same enthusiasm that spread her smile from ear to ear. She ground to a halt and quieted her entry when she saw the sleeping baby. “Sophie texted me as soon as Mom called, and Wes and I loaded up the kids to head back home from our trip.” She rushed to Julia’s side and placed a kiss on her sister’s forehead, leaning close to get a better view of the newest Jenkins. “Oh, Julia. She’s beautiful.”

  Julia chuckled at her sister’s exuberance. Not quite as brilliant as Sophie’s but definitely on the vivid side of normal. “Would you like to hold her?”

  Eisley’s shoulders scrunched in an internal squeal, and both palms came forward in answer. “Of course I do!” She winked. “What took you so long?”

  Julia shifted the tiny bundle into her sister’s arms, careful to press the blankets around her daughter’s little body. “Mom’s supposed to bring over a few different outfits for her today, so for now she’s just hanging out in her diaper.”

  “Aren’t the diapers so tiny?” Eisley pressed her face near the baby’s. “Oh man, I love clean baby smell. Isn’t it the best?”

  “It definitely beats dirty baby smell.” Julia wrinkled her nose at the memory of sticky milk and dirty diapers.

  “Whoa, yes. She must be healthy, though, to already have shown off her stinky stuff. It took Pete four days to finally—”

  “I remember.” Julia raised a palm to pause the story. “It was the first time I’d ever prayed for anyone to poop.”

  “Right?” She took the baby’s fingers into her hands and cooed a few minutes longer over how lovely she was. “Did you decide on a name yet? Mom said you didn’t have any girl’s names picked out by the time she and Dad left last night.”

  Julia drew in a breath. She hadn’t voiced her choice yet, but the idea had come to her early in the morning. A nod of gratitude to the lady who’d made Julia and the baby’s future much easier than it would have been without her generosity.

  “Yes, she has a name.”

  What a responsibility! A name. A legacy.

  Eisley peaked an auburn brow. “Are you ready to share?”

  “Rosalyn Elizabeth Jenkins, and I plan to call her Rose, for short.”

  “Rosalyn,” Eisley whispered down to the sleeping bundle. “It’s perfect.
Hello, little Rose. Welcome to our family.”

  Family. A pulse so strong it resounded through every part of Julia. And now, somehow, she and Rose had become their own little family of two within the larger Jenkins family. Well, a family of three since God was holding onto them both. She cradled the thought close.

  “It’s a remarkable feeling, isn’t it?” Eisley grinned as if reading Julia’s thoughts. “This powerful, overwhelming love for a person you only just met?”

  Julia touched the little head of her Rose. “It is.”

  “Oh, wait. I forgot.” She straightened and tucked Rose into the crook of her elbow like the experienced mom she was and leaned down to gather a brilliant-purple bag on the floor. “Henry sent this along with me.”

  “Henry?”

  “Yeah, he came by the house with Wes this morning to check on you and asked me to deliver this.” Her brows wiggled and she handed the bag over. “No pun intended.”

  Julia stared at Eisley and then opened the bag with care. Out of the purple paper she pulled a tiny purple onesie with white words emblazoned on the front: If you think I’m cute, you should see my mom.

  Complete with matching socks.

  And a hair bow.

  Julia couldn’t get her voice to work. She stared at her sister, who looked up from cooing over Rose to see the gift.

  “Oh, come on! How sweet is that?” Her gaze zeroed in on Julia’s. “Julia, you need to keep him.”

  “Keep him? I don’t know if he’ll ever want to see me again after what he’s witnessed.”

  “What on earth are you talking about?” Eisley waved toward the gift as if she were karate chopping it. “This clearly shows he’s in for the long haul.”

  “It shows that he’s sensitive and kind and thoughtful.” The vision of him as the ambulance doors closed last night brought another foggy sheen to Julia’s view. “And strong in a way I’ve never measured strength before. But…but if there was anything between us, which I never said there was, it’s over now.”

  Eisley’s face crinkled with confusion. “Why is that?”

  “Because of yesterday and the car and Sue and me.” Julia covered her face with her palms and cringed at the very thought of him experiencing her unconventional birthing session. “I’m sure he feels like he’s seen a’plenty.”

  “Are you crazy? So, clearly you’re the only one not seeing right now?” Eisley gestured toward the gift. “Sweet baby gift. Sweet man. Loves music. Stares at you like you’re the most beautiful woman in the whole world.”

  “He does.” Julia almost lowered her hands from her face, then remembered her valid argument and hid again behind her palms. “No, no, you don’t understand. He was there for the delivery.” She cringed and peeked through her fingers to look at her sister. “What guy would ever be able to look at me the same way again, especially a man I’m not even married to?” She shuddered all over again at the vivid memories.

  Eisley watched her in silence for so long that Julia shifted in the hospital bed. Her crazy sister then placed Rose into her arms and pointed at the still-sleeping baby. “She’s going to poop on you, spit up on you, maybe even throw things at you and tell you she never wants to see you again. She may even do worse. Will you still love her?”

  Julia looked at her sweet baby then back at her sister. “Of…of course.”

  “Exactly. Because love sees behind all the”—she waved a hand in the air then rested her palm on Rose— “stuff to what really matters. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. It never fails. If Henry Wright is the right man for you, which only you can decide…” She rolled her gaze to the ceiling, a look of pure innocence on her face as she whispered beneath her breath. “Although I think you two are pretty amazing together.” She tugged on Julia’s braid. “Then whatever happened yesterday isn’t going to deter him. In fact, I wonder if it hasn’t already made the two of you closer—even if neither of you has realized it yet.”

  Julia stifled a mock laugh. “Closer?” Could it be? The memory of the look he gave her at the end of her delivery as he encouraged her to be strong surfaced to mind. Yes, his presence with her yesterday had certainly solidified the beautiful bond their piano duet began.

  “But…but how can anything between us work out, Eisley? He’s from England. I live here.” She touched Rose’s cheek. “We’re here.”

  Eisley nodded. “That’s a real dilemma. I’ve thought about it myself.”

  “But Wes has agreed to stay here in the States with you and the kids.”

  “For now, but that might not be forever.” Eisley took Julia’s hand in hers. “Listen to me. Wes and Henry present a unique case in that they live in another country, so if you care about a future with Henry”—she searched Julia’s face, a gentle smile softening her lips—“and I can tell that you do, you have to go in with your eyes open to all sorts of possibilities. Wes and I are getting married, which means he’s going to be a priority in my life, and for now, we’ve decided that living in the States is the right answer, but I know that might not always be the case. If his parents need us, I have to be willing to move.”

  “All the way to England?”

  “All the way to England.” Eisley stood and placed a palm on Julia’s shoulder. “We have a great family with a whole lot of love. They’ve taught us to be strong and compassionate and…even brave enough to go where no Jenkins has gone before.”

  Julia grinned and shook her head at the Star Trek reference.

  “But I’m choosing Wes and whatever future that means for me and the kids because I love him. And I’d rather have a future with him and all its unpredictable possibilities than one without him and whatever false safety I think I’ll find in staying.” She hitched one shoulder. “We have no control over a lot of the circumstances that come our way.” She waved toward Julia. “But we can choose who will surround us when those circumstances come, and I choose Wes, wherever that may be.” One eyebrow rose and her eyes took on a pixie twinkle. “He’s also a great kisser. Never underestimate the importance of a great kisser. I feel pretty certain kingdoms rise and fall over the kissing level of some marriages.” She raised a finger to match her pointed brow. “Bonus points when he has a dark-chocolatey sweet voice, excellent cuddling skills, and is amazing with kids.”

  Julia shook her head, heat rising into her face. “Well, Henry and I haven’t…you know.”

  Eisley’s grin took an impish turn. “Oh, I don’t think it’s going to be too long before you find out.”

  “I’m not moving to England, Eisley. I have Rose to think of.”

  “Rose will be as happy as her mama is.” Eisley tossed her purse strap over her shoulder and winked. “And remember: kisses, an English accent, and the right guy are pretty powerful steps toward happiness.”

  ∞ ∞ ∞

  Henry had waited until after lunch to visit the hospital, at Eisley’s encouragement. He wasn’t certain if Julia would even wish to see him after all that transpired with the delivery, but he couldn’t get her or the baby from his thoughts.

  Not even composing distracted him.

  He pinched the bouquet in his hand as he peered into the open hospital room. Most of the room was blocked by a curve in the wall—well-designed for privacy, no doubt— but the very end of a bed jutted from behind the wall along with the partial view of a window, allowing some light into the room. He gave the door a gentle knock.

  “Come in.”

  No turning back now.

  He stepped into view and found Julia sitting in a chair and dressed in a t-shirt and sweats. Her blond hair lay in a braid over her shoulder, and the baby cuddled in her arms.

  “Oh, Henry.”

  He shifted a step back at her look of surprise. “I can go, if you’d like.”

  “No, stay.” She hesitated, her gaze shifting from his face to the baby. “I…I mean, if you want to stay.”

  He looked back toward the door, then to the wriggling infant, then to Julia
. “Do…do you…” He cleared his throat. “Do you want me to stay?”

  Her smile unfurled. “Yes.”

  The tension peeled off his shoulders, and he walked a few steps closer to her. Weariness shone in her eyes—which was expected—but otherwise she looked as perfect as she had when standing on the mountainside, gazing at the waterfall. “I…I brought these for you. It’s been my experience that mothers don’t usually receive the gifts even though they’re the ones who did most of the work.”

  “Except for generous men who either carried them to the car or encouraged them to be strong. Those are some pretty important roles too.”

  “I was happy to fulfill them.”

  She took his proffered bouquet, a beautiful blush of pink highlighting her cheeks. “Thank you, Henry.”

  “She looks content.” His gaze pulled toward the tiny person cradled in her arms, his hands opening and closing at his sides to keep from reaching out and touching either the baby or her mother.

  “Would you like to hold her?”

  His gaze shot to Julia’s. “Really? May I?”

  “It will give me a chance to do something with these lovely flowers you’ve brought.” She gestured toward the chair near hers. Once he lowered himself into the seat, she placed the baby into his arms. “Thank you, by the way. For the flowers.”

  He pulled his gaze from the little one to Julia. “I wasn’t certain of your favorite type, but when Eisley told me the baby name you chose, I thought roses would be welcome.”

  “And they’re beautiful pink roses, too.” Julia emptied a large plastic cup of its contents by the sink in the room and filled it with water. “I am fond of roses, but my favorite flowers are dahlias.”

  “Dahlias?” He barely heard Julia, his attention fixed on the little bundle in his arms. A faint hint of purple shone from beneath the blanket, and he couldn’t stop his smile at the sight. She was wearing the outfit he’d bought for her. Purple proved an excellent color for those wide, blue eyes staring back at him.

  “I wanted to thank you again for yesterday. I don’t know what I…what we would have done without you, Henry.”