When You Look at Me (A Pleasant Gap Romance Book 2)

by Pepper Basham

  “Leaving has never been so difficult in all my life.”

  She bit her bottom lip to keep it from trembling. “I know.”

  “And, to be completely honest, three months sounds like a lifetime.”

  She reached up to brush his hair back from his brow, his gaze too sorrowful to hold for long. “It will be good to see if what we have is real enough to withstand time and distance, you know?”

  “You have doubts?” His gaze searched hers, all uncertainty gone. “Because I don't. Someone like you”—his attention dropped to Rose— “both of you, only enters a person’s life once. I won’t miss my chance.”

  She pressed her head against his once more, closing her eyes, filling her lungs with his warmth and vanilla scent. “I just don’t like the idea of this distance. I’ve gotten so used to being near you. To hearing your music next door. To having the longest conversations I’ve ever had with anyone.” A heated tear trailed down her cheek. “I’ll miss you.”

  “Julia.”

  At the whispered sound of her name, she raised her eyes. “My heart will still be in the very same place. You need not doubt my constancy.”

  “Doubt you?” She returned her palm to his cheek, her words scraping over her throat. “How could I ever doubt you? But distance and the expectations of our regular lives can change what our situation looks like right now.”

  “Of course they can. But, dove, life is all about adapting to situations, and our hearts must choose to hold fast or to let go.”

  She nodded, drawing strength from the certainty in his voice, the assurance of who she knew he was. “I…I choose you.”

  His grin crooked and he pressed his lips to hers for a brief kiss. “I choose us, and…and in June, we’ll sort out how distance won’t be a long-term issue. We’ll find a way. What do you say about that?”

  “Sounds like music to my ears.”

  ∞ ∞ ∞

  Henry wasn’t certain what he’d expected upon his return to England, but nothing had changed. Heathrow kept its crowded, busy hum. The railway station pulsed with the bustle of the daily workings of a city, and his brother Matthew, who’d collected him from the railway station, still needed a haircut.

  And yet everything looked different.

  He’d never noticed how many couples walked on the streets of Matlock or the number of prams in the town park. Matlock wasn’t large, but its old buildings gave off the feel of a welcome, quaint place. Julia would like his town.

  An ache resurrected in his chest—the same feeling he’d experienced all the way across the Atlantic. The farther the plane took him from Pleasant Gap, the deeper the longing. How were they going to make this work? And in the fastest way possible?

  Matthew turned the car away from Matlock and toward the country. On their journey home, a large house set off the road caught Henry’s attention. Crandall House. He’d never really paid much attention to the large country cottage on the edge of town, but now, with the for-sale sign still perched in the front yard… “Stop here, Matthew,” he whispered then gathered volume. “Here. Just for a moment.”

  Matthew pulled the car to the side of the road, and Henry jumped out. “What are you doing?”

  He ignored his brother and continued toward the house, entering the front garden through an unlatched gate. Crandall House rose ahead of him, an impressive structure of limestone and history. Two levels. Fantastic grounds, from what he could tell. A massive circular drive well-suited for numerous cars. Easy access to town and the motorway.

  He peered around to the right. A link, long and framed by windows, connected the large main house to a smaller building of matching color and style. Was it a living area too?

  That could be perfect.

  A greenhouse roof peeked above a walled back garden, and an excellent view of the rolling countryside spread out from the back of the house with a prospect not too different from the rolling hills around Pleasant Gap.

  “What in heaven’s name are you doing?” Matthew called from the end of the drive, his dark hair and jacket flapping in the morning breeze.

  “Thinking.” Henry started walking to his brother. “Crandall House has been for sale for well over four months, hasn’t it?”

  Matthew looked to the house, then Henry. “I suppose so.”

  “And it’s not sold in that time.”

  “Clearly,” his brother responded in his usual droll fashion. “It has two living areas separated by a link. How many families do you think are seeking such a place?”

  “Precisely, Matthew.” Henry patted his brother on the shoulder. “Precisely.”

  ∞ ∞ ∞

  Julia finished her last email to one of her professors proposing a six-week directive study for May to mid-June, right before leaving for England. If she wanted to graduate by December, she’d need one more credit than she’d planned for the fall semester, and she was already doubling up on classes to finish up. Dr. Peterson had always been the approachable sort, so maybe Julia had a chance at an intensive Summer 1 opportunity before she traveled to England. It would help her get her feet wet with managing her continued work with the bakery, taking care of Rose, and initiating her own baby steps back into the academic world.

  And it was an excellent distraction from missing Henry.

  She’d dressed Rose in one of her cutest outfits, all frilly and girly, complete with a hairbow that kept falling off the hairless beauty. Well, her daughter had a little hair—enough to attempt a hairbow, but not much else.

  She situated herself on the couch and propped her laptop on a nearby table as she pulled Rose into her lap. Seven o’clock. He should call any minute.

  Every evening at seven for the past four nights. She’d never been so thankful for technology in all her life.

  The computer signaled an incoming call, so Julia leaned forward and pressed a button, and Henry’s face filled the screen. “Hello, dove.”

  She nearly sighed every time he greeted her that way. Was her grin as ridiculously large as his? Oh man, she was in so much trouble…in the best possible way. Forever. “Hey, my sweet friend.” She hadn’t quite figured out a term of endearment for him yet. She liked his name. “Have you had a nice day?”

  “Better now, of course.” He sent a little wave to Rose, who gave wide-eyed focus to the screen. “Hello, duck. I like your hairbow.”

  Julia adjusted the crooked bow for the tenth time. “We had to dress up for a special occasion, Henry.”

  “A special occasion?” His eyes took her in. “Are you wearing one of those frocks of your aunt’s again?”

  She glanced down at the pink shirt dress styled with white polka dots that she’d donned for his benefit—and a little of hers. She adored the vintage piece, even if she ended up changing out of it within the first ten minutes because of baby spit up…or worse.

  “Do you like it?”

  His smile took a new turn, the same kind she’d learned to interpret as…well...unruly. “It suits you very well.” He cleared his throat and raised a brow. “What’s the special occasion?”

  Julia scrunched her shoulders to contain a little squeal. “I have a surprise for you.” She shifted closer to the screen, bringing Rose with her. “Watch this.”

  With a few quick kisses at the juncture of Rose’s rounded cheeks and neck, her little darling made a gurgling sound, then…

  “She’s smiling.” His voice pooled with pleasant surprise.

  Julia turned Rose so he could get an even better view. “I know!”

  “And is that a dimple?”

  “In her chin. Isn’t it the cutest ever?”

  “It’s as if she has a little personality in there.”

  “Right?” Julia kissed her again and the gurgled smile repeated. “You’re happy to see Henry too, aren’t you, Rosie?”

  “The two of you are the best part of my day.”

  Julia swallowed through the tightening in her throat. This was the way things had to be for now, and crying wouldn’t chang
e it. “Well, it’s more like night-time, isn’t it? Midnight?”

  He squinted and shifted his eyes to the bottom right of his computer screen where, she imaged, the time flashed. “It’s still early. I have a few hours of work in me yet.”

  Rose turned her head at the sound of his voice, searching the room. “Oh, Henry. I think she’s trying to find you. Look. When you talk, she turns in your direction.”

  “That’s it.” He pressed a fist to his chest as if hit. “I’m searching for flights right now.”

  She laughed. “As much as I would love to see you, don’t you have an important interview tomorrow?”

  His gaze found hers through the screen. “It’s becoming less and less important by the day.”

  “That’s not true. It’s your dream job. You have to try.” She steeled her reserve and moved Rose closer so the baby had a better view. “Besides, it’s only ten weeks and two days until we see you.”

  “She’s smiling at me without the kisses. Look.” He sighed. “I miss you both so much. Nothing is the same in my life now. You’re everywhere and I can’t even reach you.”

  “I never imagined it could be this hard when you find that special person, you know? I mean, I’ve been on trips with Aunt Millie when I didn’t see my family for weeks, but this?” Julia waved a hand between them. “This is much harder.”

  “American Airlines has a flight first thing in the morning.”

  “Henry.” She shook her head, welcoming his levity. “Do you think your dreams aren’t as important to me as mine are to you?”

  He stared at her, assessing, and sighed. “Touché.”

  “Truth.” She adjusted Rose’s hairbow again. “Music helps, though, doesn’t it? I hear you in music now, like you’re nearby. Every violin. I played the song you wrote for me last night…all the way through.” She ran a finger down Rose’s cheek. “It sounds better as a duet.”

  “Delta has one that leaves at 6:00a.m. That’s an hour earlier than American Airlines.”

  She laughed and watched how his eyes lit even through the screen. He’d probably have leaned over and kissed her if he’d been nearby. A small kiss. Just enough to share his care, but not enough to garner much attention. “We have an agreement. You can get your dream job, and I’m going to finish school. Then we’ll figure out the logistics.”

  He frowned but didn’t argue, though it looked like he wanted to. Bad idea. It wouldn’t take a great deal of arguing for her to help him order his airline ticket. They’d best change topics before she found him in her doorway tomorrow morning. “I contacted the National Archives earlier today via email to see if they know anything more about Lucas’s death.”

  “Excellent. No news yet, I’d say.”

  “No. I have a feeling it will take them a while to respond, and I’m not even sure this is the right person. I’ve contacted three so far and been redirected every time.”

  “The mystery continues.” He wiggled his brows. “And did you see about the directed study course?”

  Why did it surprise her when he remembered little things she’d said? “Only a few minutes ago, so I probably won’t hear anything for a couple of days.”

  “But it’s a start, isn’t it? Dreams and plans and all that.”

  “Right. A start for the end of my degree.”

  “And the beginning of a heart dream?”

  She nodded, a fresh wave of warmth rippling through her chest at the sound of his voice. Almost near enough that, if she closed her eyes, she could pretend he sat beside her on the couch as he had almost every night for nearly a month.

  At least she could see him. The subtle smile he gave to indicate his joy. The way his eyes lit with interest. How his infrequent laugh transformed his features.

  Yes, at least she could see all those things.

  “I took the liberty of mailing you a book yesterday, priority.”

  “A book?”

  He looked away, a crinkle forming on his brow. “Yes, well, I thought perhaps you’d appreciate…well…” A slight hint of red darkened his cheeks. Was he embarrassed? Oh, how she wanted to reach through the screen and hug him.

  “You see, I…I found a devotional for couples in the bookstore and thought, maybe, you and I could—”

  “I love that idea.”

  His gaze moved back to hers. “I hoped you would. They’re not long sections. A page or so each. But I…I want that to be something we share along with music, if you’re willing. I’ve never done anything like it before, so I’m not certain how it will work—”

  “I think we can figure it out. Our way.”

  He nodded, his gaze shifting between her and Rose. “Yes, we can. We will.”

  “Three months, Henry. That’s all.”

  “Ten weeks and two days,” he corrected, tagging on a gentle smile that somehow made the distance shrink and expand all at once.

  ∞ ∞ ∞

  “Henry!” Tall and lean, Andrew Crawford walked down the hall of Visionary Studios, his swagger as relaxed as the smile on his face. “Back from the wilds of Appalachia, are we?”

  Henry offered his hand as the two met in the hallway, Andrew a good four inches taller and a great deal more comfortable within the bounds of his father’s growing company than Henry felt. His confidence even exuded into the grip in his handshake. “Only within the last few days, actually.”

  “It looks like you handled it all well.” Andrew patted Henry’s shoulder as he shook his hand, then turned so they both continued their walk side-by-side down the hall. “Did you happen to find your one true love like our poor friend Wesley, or did they let you leave with your heart intact?”

  Henry hesitated, Andrew’s usual teasing hitting a bit too close to the truth.

  “Oh dear.” Andrew stopped, leaning so close Henry shifted back a step. “You did! Good lord, Henry. You too?” He raked a hand through his hair. “I mean to steer clear of America altogether if that’s the way of it.” His pale blue eyes searched Henry up and down. “I can see it all over you. Seriously?”

  The tension slipped from Henry’s shoulders into a chuckle. “Oh yes.”

  “Fancy that.” Andrew started walking again, this time at a slower pace. “Two out of the three of us attached to an American. Who would have thought it five years ago when we were finishing up university and setting out into the wide world?” A laugh shot out of him. “Appalachian Americans, at that.”

  “It was certainly unexpected, but I…” Henry lowered his voice, trusting in the years of friendship he shared with Andrew. “I mean to marry her, Drew. She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

  Drew paused, studying Henry again as if for the first time. “I’m happy for you, for sure. It’s been a long time coming, and that’s a fact, but Appalachian?”

  “Still human, I assure you.”

  Andrew settled his hands in his pockets and chuckled. “But I’m glad. I am. You deserve a good turn, Henry, if anyone does. And I mean to keep things on the upward spin for you.” They continued toward a door at the end of the hallway. “It’s taken me months to convince Dad to hire a composer in residence. We needed one about a year ago—it would have saved loads—but you know how he is.”

  Andrew winked and held his spot in front of the door. “Why walk into change when you can crawl at the pace of a tortoise, right? That’s my dad.” He placed his hand on the door knob and sent Henry another reassuring smile. “He’s got a list of applicants, but you’re the one. I know it. I wrote this very position with you in mind. Dad knows you’re the right one too. He just doesn’t remember it. Yet. But I feel certain you’ll jar his memory.”

  He pushed open the door and led Henry into a room where three men in suits sat at one end of a long table. The board of Visionary Studios. The people with the power to change his life…for the good or the bad. With a deep breath, Henry stepped forward. He wanted this. For himself and his future.

  And for Julia.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight


  “Julia, I think we can discontinue our regular appointments.” Karen sat back in the chair, her dark hair pulled back in a bun, her smile confirming Julia’s own assessment. She could, with God’s help, move on. “You and Rose seem to be in a very good place, and you’re stepping back into your life and plans with a healthy mindset.”

  “It’s nice to get back to planning the future instead of fighting the past, you know?” Julia rocked the carrier on the floor with her foot while Rose slept. “Even if my future looks different. I’m not afraid of how the past will affect it anymore.”

  “I think your future sounds exciting and romantic. And a trip to Derbyshire? You’ll love it.”

  “I’m sure I will.” Julia lowered her attention back to Rose. Each day she grew closer to seeing him, her daughter by their sides.

  “I think you mentioned Henry is good with Rose?”

  Without warning a rush of tears blurred Julia’s vision. She looked away. Stupid post-baby hormones. “He’s wonderful with her. Gentle and kind.” Julia looked up. “He plays music for her. It’s really sweet. He’s sweet.”

  “I can see how much you care about him.”

  “I do.”

  Silence enfolded them, tugging Julia’s thoughts into confessions. “Is it weird to be this connected to someone I’ve only know a few months? I mean, I was a somewhat-mature, independent person before I met him, and now I can’t imagine life without him. I look forward to talking with him every evening. I make plans with him in mind.”

  Karen laughed. “Just because you want him here doesn’t mean you’ve lost independence. It means your heart is ready for you to transition into a future with someone instead of alone. Besides, you could move ahead on your own if you wanted, couldn’t you?”

  Julia stared at her, ensuring she believed her own answer. “I could. but I don’t want to.” Memories resurrected her smile as she relaxed back in her chair, accepting her choice without reservation. “I want to share it all with him. It’s not just about the romance and the tenderness. It’s…well, I just really like him. We fit. We can talk for hours and still have more to say. I’m not worried whether I’m ridiculous or not, or how I look. I…I don’t think I’ve ever been more me than when I’m with him.”