Forced Silence

by Vered Cohen Wisotzki

  “Mom, you’re right. Asaf and Yehiel told us that Doron’s making dramatic progress. He’s already been to the bank, so he definitely found the yeshiva’s account that Galia sent money to. In a couple of hours, he’ll be here; if he’s lucky, he’ll find me. But Mom, we don’t have those passports yet. Immanuel also wanted to say goodbye to this father, but I think they did that already today. So as soon as we have our papers, we’ll be ready to leave.”

  Daniela stirred restlessly. She could not imagine that this was how their relationship would end. What would her life be like without her adopted daughter? Daniela had invested herself, heart and soul, in Naama and Baruch. Daniela and Baruch had always wanted children of their own, but despite years of trying, they had been unsuccessful. Now, her only daughter was on the lam, a fugitive.

  Daniela loved Naama more than anything, but she still saw her actions as criminal. She had been concerned for quite a while that Naama was attracted to the extremism exhibited by some of the yeshiva’s students. Even after Naama and Immanuel’s wedding, her opinion had not changed. She knew that Immanuel and his father had extreme views, views which had drawn Naama in over the past few years. Slowly, bit by bit, she began to understand that Naama saw Immanuel and his friends as fellow travelers in their ideology. For hours they would sit and decry the Disengagement. One time Daniela had dared to suggest that it might be best to emphasize love for the land rather than hatred of their brethren, and Naama and Immanuel had punished her for that statement by moving out for a month, into a trailer on the neighboring hilltop.

  The money was another point of contention raised by Daniela. She had been a simple, modest woman when she first met Naama’s father in the late 70s. Ein Regev was a different place then, inhabited by secular artists as well as national-religious youth-movement members. When Daniela encountered Baruch and his world view, she adopted an Orthodox lifestyle, abandoning her former life. But then the First Intifada came, a decade later, changing the character of Ein Regev. For the past decade, it had been solely national-religious. The secular majority had abandoned the region, while the religious and extremist right had grown stronger. Even the outpost on the outskirts of the settlement had been expanded, to accommodate all the opponents of the Disengagement who had arrived and were still coming, in droves.

  She had been no fan of the changes to Naama’s character, but she’d done nothing. Now she regretted bitterly her inaction, that she had failed to distance Naama from Immanuel and his comrades. Daniela knew that this yeshiva attracted some of the most extreme youths from the area. These extremists had gained the admiration of Baruch, who despised his former life. Daniela should have been the one to challenge him, despite her fierce love for him; she should have protested the education their daughter was receiving. She was her mother, for all intents and purposes. Now, she just sat across from her, trying to savor every last moment they had together before Naama would leave her, never to return.

  Naama as well was thinking about how difficult it would be to abandon her home; all the connections she was leaving behind were very important to her. For a moment, she wavered… but no! Freedom, for her and for Immanuel, was more important. Beyond the shadow of a doubt, she knew that staying put meant they would eventually be captured, and spend the rest of their natural lives under lock and key.

  Her mother reassured her, “You’ve got to rest a little. The next few days will be very hard. Go to sleep. If Shir wakes up, I’ll take care of her.”

  Naama agreed with her mother. Her nerves were frayed, and she knew that she needed all of her strength, mental and physical, in order to contend with what was coming — and not to make any mistakes. She lay down in her bed, knowing that in the morning she and Immanuel would have to make a final decision about their destination. They had a number of options, but they would have to choose carefully.

  Chapter Twelve

  As he entered Haifa, Doron’s heart pounded swiftly. He had no idea how he would confront Galia. He hoped that she was waiting for him and that Roni had already left. He needed absolute privacy with her, even though he was sure that Roni had already known for quite a while what Doron had found out the hard way just a few hours prior. Her cards lay on the table now, and he wanted to hear Galia admit everything. Once she had confessed to everything she had done and explained it well — including pleading guilty to something she hadn’t done — as well as why she had kept her twin sister a secret from him, Doron could call Udi and rectify the error. He knew that Galia would still have to reckon with her own involvement, but that was another story entirely. He was so glad to be right, to have stubbornly stuck to the belief that Galia could not be guilty of attempted murder. Satisfied, he smiled to himself and sped up.

  Galia, meanwhile, had convinced Roni to leave finally, and she was alone in the living room, impatiently watching the television. She wrestled with the thought that she could not wait impotently any longer for her sister to contact her. She stood up and looked around, wondering if she should go to her bedroom and get dressed. Perhaps she should just get up and go to her sister? Surely nothing would happen if she went alone! She hadn’t yet told the police anything, and she could constitute no threat to Naama on her own. She just wanted to be there, to find Shir, to protect her, to make sure she was okay.

  Then she recalled the police officer stationed outside her door, as well as the police cars in the parking lot. It would be difficult, if not impossible, to slip away from them.

  “Goddamn cops,” she muttered. All she wanted to do was get out and do something to help herself.

  Her thoughts ran wild. Doron would be back any second, and she trembled as she pictured the confrontation. She didn’t know what he had discovered, but she knew full well that it was within his power to cause her to admit everything. Regardless, she was at her wit’s end, the absolute limit of her ability to keep secrets while she worried about Shir.

  The thunder outside rattled the windows ominously from time to time, and Galia surmised it was just a hint of the coming storm. Now she regretted sending Roni away. He should have stayed. Alone, she knew, she had no hope of withstanding Doron’s deluge of interrogation and accusations.

  She needed courage, she needed confidence, but those had been sorely lacking the last few days, with the ongoing threat against Shir. She remembered the open bottle of Chablis in the refrigerator from a few days ago; it had been disappointing, but maybe she should try again to seek relief in it for her frayed nerves. She filled a wine glass and then collapsed on the living room sofa. A wave of unprecedented disgust washed over her; the room seemed unbearable now, as it was the only place she’d hung out lately.

  The knock on the door was not unexpected. Did Doron still have a key? She couldn’t remember, so she opened the door — to find Daniel standing there, to her surprise and shock. It was late, and the guard, supposed to be alert for any visitors, was nowhere to be seen. Daniel must have worked his magic, she thought, charming his way through whoever stood in his way. He was still in his office clothes, she noticed, though his collar had been loosened. He held his briefcase, which he put down as he entered and approached her. Galia crossed her arms over her chest, trying to protect herself from whatever he was about to say.

  “You look awful,” he said softly. “I can only imagine what you’ve been going through these last few days.” He was standing very close now, looking into her eyes, testing her.

  “Daniel, what are you doing here? Why did you insist on coming?” Now she thought she could smell alcohol on his breath.

  “What do you mean? I’m here to help you, and it looks to me like I’m the only who can. Don’t you agree?” He would not stop staring into her eyes.

  Feeling uncomfortable, Galia took a step back. His gaze was unnerving.

  “I think you’d better explain yourself, and quickly. Doron is on his way.” That fact made her feel more secure.

  Daniel stepped towards her. “Doro
n is on his way because he knowns about your sister, or he still has no idea?”

  Galia couldn’t breathe. Now Daniel was close enough to touch. He stretched out his hand to caress her face.

  “Don’t you get it? I know about her, about your sister. That’s how I know you’re innocent. The public may not know, but I know that she’s on that tape. Why the hell did you plead guilty to her crime?” He massaged her shoulders, slowly pushing her back towards the wall behind her.

  “How do you know that? Or maybe I shouldn’t ask. I never told anyone, not once. Daniel, what have you done?” She struggled to swallow.

  “I did what anyone would do if he wanted someone. I found out everything I could about you, by any means possible.”

  Galia was displeased by his tone. “Basically, you snooped. You went through my papers, through my desk…” Now she was angry, but still frightened.

  “Snooped? Yeah, I guess I snooped. That was a long time ago. I didn’t understand what I’d uncovered, so I had to investigate further.”

  “That makes you pathetic.”

  “Pathetic, Galia? That’s pathetic? Now I’m the one who can help you. I gather Doron doesn’t know about your settler twin. Seems to me that his attempt to help you is what’s pathetic.”

  Now his tone enraged her. “Don’t you dare talk about Doron that way. You know about Naama, bravo. Now get out.” She turned to the door, to usher him out and on his way; but Daniel would not give up that easily. He grabbed her hand and pulled her towards him.

  “I didn’t come here so you could kick me out, Galia. I’ve been waiting a long time for you to admit that you need me.”

  She struggled to get out of his grip, to no avail.

  “Stop flattering yourself, Daniel. It’s never going to happen between us.” She tried to make it clear, once and for all, that he had no chance.

  “It could happen between us, if you would only give it an opportunity. You want me to keep Naama secret, I will. I promise you… I will keep it despite the price the newspaper will pay.” She understood what he was intimating. “Damnit, we’re talking about my newspaper,” he said angrily.

  “Our newspaper,” Galia corrected him, still trying to get away.

  “Really? You don’t seem to care about it at all. Do you know four major advertisers pulled out today? They’re giving up their pages. I don’t know what will happen by the weekend. We’re definitely losing readers too.” He still held her, his hand lifting her face to him. “But I’ll pay that price. For you, Galia. I’ll keep your secret, just say the word…” He moved away the hair covering her face. He tried to meet her gaze. “I want you, you know it.” He had no intention of letting her go. She struggled, but he was stronger than her.

  “If you think I’m going to sleep with you just so you’ll keep Naama a secret, you’re more pathetic than I thought. Now get the hell out, or I’ll scream and the guard will come.”

  “You wouldn’t dare make a scene,” Daniel dismissed her threat.

  “Really? Watch me!” But before she could raise her voice, Daniel’s lips met hers, harshly and violently. His tongue tried to invade her mouth, and she couldn’t make a sound. She struggled, once again to no avail. Her back smacked against the wall behind her as his hands held hers to her sides. His erection rubbed against her, making obvious how much he desired her.

  She tried to inhale, to stop him for a moment, to gather herself, but Daniel was unstoppable. If he pulled his head back, she would call out for help. He tried to use his knee to spread her legs apart. She fought back. Now he held both her hands in one of his, while he stuck his other hand into her blouse and kneaded her breasts, groaning from deep in his throat. Galia gasped, feeling her lungs emptying of air completely. Daniel, however, would not relent. His tongue snaked after hers, as he pressed closer and closer to her. As he tried to slip her blouse off her shoulders and move his aggressive tongue to her neck, Galia manage to push him back and get free. She slapped him as hard as she could, and the sound echoed in the room.

  “What are you doing, Daniel? What are you thinking?!” she cried. She adjusted her clothing as she put some distance between her and him. Daniel shook his head, as if he couldn’t admit what he’d just done. “You’re out of control, crazy. I know, you must’ve been drinking before you came here, right?” She ran a hand through her hair, walked over to his briefcase, picked it up and threw it towards him. Daniel had not yet said a word. “Take your briefcase and get the hell out of here, right now. You’re lucky Doron isn’t here yet. I don’t know what you were thinking.” Daniel stepped towards her.

  “Don’t ever dare come near me again, do you hear?” she warned him.

  He raised his hand trying to calm down either Galia… or himself.

  “Galia, I don’t know what came over me. I’m so sorry… I didn’t mean to do that. I really came here to help you.” But the look in his eye still unsettled her.

  “Go, just go. Take this with you.” She pushed the briefcase into his arms. “And now get the fuck out of here. I can’t bear to look at you. You ruined everything, you hear? Everything!” So much for their successful business partnership.

  She strode determinedly to the door, without exposing her true feelings, and opened it. The elevator door opened at that moment, and Eyal the guard stepped out. Galia presumed that Daniel must have convinced him to take a cigarette break or something like that outside the building. She stood in the doorway, holding herself together as she waited for Daniel to leave.

  He looked into her eyes as he passed by her, whispering, “I’m sorry…” He entered the elevator.

  The guard, who returned to his post, saw how distressed she looked. He waited for the elevator to close on Daniel. “Is everything all right, Mrs. Yellin?”

  “Now everything’s all right. Thank you, Eyal,” she answered, hurrying to shut the door.

  Inside, she sat for a moment in the living room, trying to calm down, to gather her strength and to breathe. Her clothing was wrinkled, and she felt filthy.

  After a quick shower, she put on her favorite pair of old sweats. She had reached a decision to ignore any thought of what had happened a few minutes earlier with Daniel. One day, she thought, I’ll settle the score with him, but now I have to concentrate on what’s happening to Shiri. She decided to go in the kitchen and make Doron something to eat, as she knew he had been driving all over the country today to extricate her from her predicament — despite her remonstrations not to interfere. Galia was making a green salad when she heard the door open.

  She was shocked at his appearance, wounded and weary. She automatically stretched out a hand towards his face, but he pushed it away and came inside. She slowly followed him, hesitantly, sensing his rage and exhaustion. He turned to the kitchen, opened the refrigerator and took out a bottle of water, which he gulped down. Galia knew that beyond his thirst, Doron was trying to find a way to calm down and begin their daunting conversation.

  “Doron?”

  He spun around, and his face expressed many conflicting emotions: anger, disappointment, exhaustion — but perhaps also relief?

  Hoarsely he said, “I know, I know everything.” He sat down heavily on one of the kitchen chairs, stretched out his legs and groaned due from the pain of that simple movement.

  Trying to delay the inevitable, Galia approached him. “Look at you! What happened?”

  He looked up at her. “What happened is that as soon as I got too close to the truth, I apparently scared people who were interested in stopping me, by any means possible.”

  “I knew that you weren’t telling the truth when you said they were muggers,” she fumed.

  He stood up, pushed her against the opposite wall and trapped her between his arms. “And you weren’t telling the truth when you pleaded guilty!” he hurled at her. His voice was harsh and accusatory — blaming her for everything that had happened to hi
m in the past few days: worry, travel, exhaustion, beatings, and lies. “I want to hear you confessing now… right now!” His hands, gripping her shoulders, were powerful, persistent, even painful.

  She tried to push him back, but to no avail. A scream of terror escaped her lips. “Doron, I can’t, I cannot…” Desperately, she tried to stand up to him. She would do anything to avoid endangering Shir. She would lie, she would hurt him, she would even lose him—as long as that improved her odds of seeing Shir come home safely.

  “Don’t toy with me, Galia. I’ve been through the wringer the past few days, and to think it was all just to spare your sister… That was your sister, no?” he yelled at her.

  His grip loosened a bit, and Galia took the opportunity to put some distance between her and him. She breathed deeply, massaged her aching shoulders, trying to assess her situation. Okay, she thought, he knows the truth about Naama, but that doesn’t mean I should tell him about Shir… Or should I? No! Tomorrow, at the latest. If by tomorrow Naama doesn’t contact me, I will have no choice, and I’ll tell him then, she decided.

  “Yeah, it was my sister…” she whispered, not looking at him so that he wouldn’t see in her eyes that the story didn’t end there.

  “And why the hell would you plead guilty to a crime you didn’t commit? What fucked-up reason could you possibly have for doing such a thing?”

  Galia didn’t know what to say. Any explanation she could offer, aside from the truth, would sound ludicrous, and she in fact had the best reason in the world.

  “I don’t know. She’s my twin sister. She asked me for a favor. It could just as easily have been me. I could have shot that minister. She asked me to help her. I waited for years for us to have some sort of connection…” That part, at least, wasn’t a lie. “I couldn’t turn her down.”

  Doron’s look clearly indicated what he thought of this answer. “Tell me, are you serious? Do you hear yourself? For an intelligent woman, your answer is idiotic. She asked you for a favor? Some favor! And you just agreed? This crazy bitch tried to kill a minister of the State of Israel! You know what, you’re crazier than she is, because you’re protecting her. Do you understand the meaning of this? You’re an accomplice now. I cannot believe how stupid you’ve been.”