Color Blind
Page 17
“Just stop. Just stop, no more. I have to go now.”
“Cole…”
He dropped into the driver’s seat. Nancy got in next to him without a word.
* * * *
Cole got a coffee and dropped onto the couch. Nancy stayed at the doorway.
“Cole?”
“Tell me something.”
“What?”
“Did you plan this?”
“No! I didn’t know she was going to be there-she’s not supposed to be back until next Tuesday for a follow-up appointment.”
“You promise?”
“Cole, you know I can’t lie for shit. Look at me and tell me that I’m lying.”
He glanced up and nodded.
“Sorry. I just didn’t know…it seemed like such a coincidence.”
“It was a bit of a shock. I’m gonna let you be for a bit, okay? Maybe you should try to take a nap.”
He didn’t answer and she went into their bedroom. Sadie needed a brushing and she needed a shower.
* * * *
Cole did not eat dinner and went to bed early. Nancy was worried about him. She wasn’t sure if she should talk to him or not, but if he was still mute in the morning she was going to bring up his mother. He was not asleep when she went to bed at ten.
“Cole?”
He shook his head.
“No.”
“What’s wrong?”
“No.”
“Talk to me, Cole. What’s wrong?”
“Do you think she’s really sorry?”
She had to think about it.
“She sounded sorry.” she said carefully.
“Do you think she’s sorry?”
“I don’t know, Cole. I don’t know her well enough to guess.”
He sighed and rolled onto his side.
“I’m confused, Nance.”
“She probably is sorry, Cole. If she wasn’t, she wouldn’t have tried to talk to you.”
“Guilty, more like.”
“I doubt it. Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why are you asking? I thought you didn’t want anything to do with her.”
“I don’t. I’m just confused.”
Nancy sat up and turned on the light.
“If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were feeling guilty.”
“I’m not! I’m just confused, that’s all.”
He looked confused, but there was another emotion on his face. Regret, maybe. He looked a little boy more than anything else. A lost, scared little boy.
“Do you want me to talk to her?”
“No. I’m just confused.”
“About what?”
“I don’t know. Everything.”
She sighed, yawned, and switched off the light.
“Figure it out, but I’m going to sleep. Night.”
“Night.”
She didn’t think he’d sleep, and she was right. When she woke up the next morning, he was still lying on his back staring at the ceiling.
Chapter Seventy-Six
“Oh, my god.”
“What do you think?”
“I’m creeped out by this thing.”
“Apart from being creeped out, what do you think?”
Nancy was quiet for several minutes. Cole put the pencil down and stretched his fingers out.
“I think I like it…it’s like…I don’t know, creepy but beautiful.”
“Good.”
“What are you going to do with it?”
“Someone from the art group is coming over next week, so I’ll probably show it to them.”
“Then what?”
“That’s up to them. If they like, good. If not…somebody else might.”
“It’s still creeping me out. Jesus is…um…I don’t know.”
“I don’t know what he is, either. But I’m going to turn it around, because I really don’t want anything getting on it.”
“Good. Between you and me, I don’t want Jesus staring at me while I’m doing things in here.”
“If he pervs on you too much I’ll punch him, Jesus or not.”
“He’s a picture.”
“So?”
She rolled her eyes at him and helped him turn the picture around.
“Now what?”
“I’m gonna start something else.”
“What?”
He closed his eyes and tilted his head back.
“A still life, maybe.”
“Like plants?”
“No, not plants. Plants are lame. I was thinking about drawing a person.”
Nancy shrugged.
“Just don’t draw them outside.”
“It rains too much to draw outside here. You know that.”
“Mm.”
She went to turn off the TV. When she came back, Cole was looking at a box of candy canes left over from last Christmas.
“Candy Cane Girl.”
“What?”
“I want to draw a girl eating a candy cane.”
“A little kid? Cole…”
“No, not a little kid. I know how well that would go. You. Can I draw you eating a candy cane?”
“One of those candy canes?”
“No, not one of those. They’ll break your teeth.”
“Me? I’m not a model. I’m just me.”
“That’s the point.”
“What’s the point?”
“You’re you. Come on, it’ll be fun. If you hate it, we’ll rip it up and burn it.”
“I don’t know, Cole…I mean, I’m not the modeling type. You know that. I’m just plain old me in oversized sweatshirts and jeans that don’t fit me right anymore. I’m not the modeling type.”
“You’re beautiful. Please? I’d rather work with you than some crackwhore off the street.”
“Why would you hire a crackwhore?”
“She wouldn’t decline because of the…um…” He gestured to his arms. “She wouldn’t decline, that’s all. But I’d rather use you.”
“I don’t know…”
“Please?”
“Can I just think about it?”
“Yes.”
“Okay.”
He went into the other room for something and she went to the couch to study. She wasn’t so sure about this. She was camera-shy, and really, modeling for a picture was about the same thing. It just took longer, that was all.
Cole said we could get rid of it if I didn’t like it.
But that would mean they would have wasted a lot of time and energy. She didn’t want to do that.
Oh, dammit. Why can’t I just decide yes or no and not think about it so much?
It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Cole. She did. But she didn’t think she wanted a bunch of people seeing a picture of her. They could get ideas.
Oh, why can’t I just decide already?
“Cole?”
“What?”
“What would you do if I did model for you? With the picture?”
“Whatever you let me do with it.”
That was good.
“It’d just be me eating a candy cane, right? Nothing like…weird, right?”
“Define weird.”
“Um…I don’t know.”
“Just you and a candy cane. That’s it.”
“Okay.”
She thought about it some more.
“I get to pick what I’m wearing, right?”
“I might pick, but I’ll try not to make you wear the yellow PJs.”
Nancy grimaced. She hated the yellow PJs. Cole liked them, but she thought they were too see-through.
“You’d better not.”
He didn’t answer her. She chewed her lip until she tasted blood and made her decision.
“I’ll do it.”
Chapter Seventy-Seven
Cole held up a green flannel shirt.
“How’s this?”
“Fine, I guess, if I can keep it afterwards.”
“We�
�ll see. I would’ve put you in the yellow PJs, but I couldn’t find them. You wouldn’t know where they are, would you?”
Nancy looked at the floor. The yellow PJs were waded up in an empty tampon box under the sink, but she wasn’t about to tell him that.
“They got lost in the wash.”
“Hm. Well, how’s this and jeans instead?”
“Fine.”
She took them from him and decided that this shirt was going on her side of the closet from now on. She put it and the jeans on and met him in the family room after putting Sadie away.
“How’s this?”
“Fine. Just…um…hang on.”
He guided her to the couch and made her lie down on her back with a pencil in her hand.
“Just use that. When I get to the candy cane bit I’ll give you one, I just want you to have something to hold.”
“Why?”
“So this will look like I did it all at once. You’ll see. Just stay quiet and try not to move, okay?”
“Okay.”
After that, the only sounds in the room were the scratching of a pencil and the occasional crinkle of a candy wrapper.
* * * *
Nancy stayed quiet for two hours before getting Cole’s attention.
“Cole. You should stop. Your hand’s going to hate you if you don’t.”
It took him a minute to look up.
“Wha-?”
“Stop. Your hand’s going to freak out if you keep going.”
He looked first at the paper, then at his hand.
“I guess.”
“Can I get up now?”
“Yeah.”
She got up and pried the pencil from his fingers. He pulled a sheet over the picture and ran his hand through his hair.
“How far’d you get?”
“I’ve got a skeleton of everything, but I have to fill in the details and stuff. It’ll take a while-probably about a week and a half or so, give or take.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah. It might take longer because it’s a still life. The Jesus one I could mess around with, but I want to make this one more like a photograph.”
“Can I see it?”
“Not yet. When it’s done.”
“Okay.”
He stood up and Nancy felt short.
“How’s it been going? With the nightmares?”
“Better. I haven’t had any for about three weeks now, I think.”
“Good.”
She nodded and pointed at his ribs.
“How’s the ribs?”
“They’re still bruised, but so is everything else, so that’s okay.”
“Everything’s still bruised?”
“Some of them were pretty deep, I think.”
“Go take your shirt off and lie down.”
“Why?”
“I’m going to tape parsley on you. Now go.”
“Parsley?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“It’ll help, trust me. Now go.”
Chapter Seventy-Eight
“They’re coming.”
“I know.”
“Do you really have to go to work?”
“Yes. You’ll be fine.”
“I won’t be fine!”
“You will. Trust me. See you in a little bit.”
“Nancy-!”
But she was gone. Cole staggered over to the couch, feeling like he was about to be sick.
I’ll never scoff at nerves again.
Sadie rubbed against his legs.
At least I’m not completely alone.
He tried to pick her up but his hands were too tired and he gave up. There was a knock at the door.
Oh shit. Okay. Hair combed, gloves on. Smile. Smile. Don’t forget to smile.
He opened the door. There was a fair-haired man in a nice suit standing on the doorstep, folding up an umbrella.
“Hi.”
“Cole Martin?”
“Yes, sir. Come on in.”
He didn’t miss the flash of disgust, but it was gone in seconds. The man came in, set the umbrella down, and stood in the hall, twisting his fingers into knots. Cole had no idea what to do.
“Um…”
“Joshua Holt.”
“Nice to meet you.”
Holt did not offer his hand. Cole straightened his gloves and shoved his hands in his pockets. Holt looked at him expectantly.
“Um…I have two things right now. One’s almost done, and the other one’s all done.”
“Show me that one first.”
Sadie followed them into the kitchen and batted at Cole’s shoelaces. He managed to pick her up and felt a little better. She gnawed at his shirt for a minute before relaxing.
“Here.”
Holt’s jaw dropped. He stood there for a few minutes before stepping closer.
“What is this?”
“Weird.”
“I’ll say.”
Cole scratched Sadie’s head and put her down. Holt stretched his fingers toward the picture and snatched them back like it would bite him.
“I’m…I’m amazed.”
Cole shrugged and looked at the floor. Holt walked around the picture for a few more minutes before nodding.
“Can I take this back?”
“If you can get it out of here, sure.”
“Great. What about the other one? Is it as…unusual as this one?”
“No, it’s a still life.”
“Of?”
“My girlfriend…here.”
Holt stroked the stubble on his chin. Cole glanced up at the clock and hoped he would go soon.
“This is very good.”
“Thanks.”
“What would your girlfriend think of this being shown? With the other one, and any others that you might have?”
“I’d have to ask her and see. I don’t really know what she’d say.”
“Well, I’m going to take the other one with me and show it to the boss back at the office, and we’ll get in touch with you. Are you going to make any more like this?”
“Um…I have an idea for another one, but I can’t work on it right now. I don’t work very fast, by the way. I was moving a couch and got cut up pretty bad on my wrist, and it didn’t heal very well.”
“Ouch. I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine now, but I’m just warning you that it usually takes me a little bit of time to finish these things.”
“Understandably. Well, Mr. Martin, it was nice seeing you. We’ll get in touch.”
“Okay. Thanks.”
Between them, they got the Jesus picture to the car unharmed. Cole went back in and got a drink. He didn’t feel like he was going to puke now, but he was shaking badly and standing was difficult.
Wow. One out. And he liked the other one.
He was surprised. He’d never thought of this as more than a hobby, but now he was beginning to wonder if he could make a job out of it. Not just selling a little sketch here and there, but a real job. He reached for his sketchbook and started flipping through to see what else was in there.
* * * *
“How’d it go, what’d they say?”
Nancy got no answer. She dropped her purse in the hall and went to find Cole. She found him in the kitchen, working. He was drawing a young man in a dark closest with a skeleton hanging behind him. It creeped her out.
“Cole?”
He jumped and started coughing.
“Sorry.”
He shook his head and stepped back, his hand pressed to his ribs. Nancy waited for the hand to drop before asking, “What’d they say?”
“He took Jesus.”
“Good.”
“Yeah…that reminds me. The guy asked me to ask you if you’d be okay with that picture I’m doing of you being in an art show.”
“Wait, art show?”
“He said maybe. I don’t know very much right now.”
“Wow.”
“So…
um…what would you think of that?”
“I don’t know. Let’s see what happens when it gets finished, okay?”
“Okay.”
“But not today. Give your hand a break.”
“I’m gonna take a shower. My head hurts.”
“How’s your ribs?”
“Sore.”
He went to wash the lead off his hands.
“How’d it go, what’d he say?”
“He spent most of the time looking. Said they’ll call back later.”
“Great! So he liked it?”
“Jesus scared him, but I think he liked the other one.”
“Good.”
“Yeah. I’m gonna take a shower and try to ditch this headache. If the phone rings, I’m not here.”
She rolled her eyes. When she heard the shower start, she went to look at the picture in the living room. It was turning out fine.
Art show? Like, a lot of people looking at it? I don’t know…
She moved to another angle. Maybe it wouldn’t be so terrible for Cole to actually do something with it. It wasn’t as though he’d painted her wearing nothing but a scarf or anything.
Although that was a bullet dodged, what with the yellow PJs and all.
She’d wait and see what it looked like when it was done. Besides, maybe the art man would decide to do something else.
“Nancy!”
“What?”
“Get the cat out of here!”
“What?”
“I am not taking a shower with the cat!”
There was no way she was going in there. Cole could take care of Sadie on his own.
“No! Think of her as an extra-sharp razor!”
There was a loud hissing noise and Sadie came running, fur dripping.
“What did you do?”
“Took the showerhead down!”
Nancy grabbed Sadie and dragged her to the kitchen to dry her off.
“You didn’t spray it at her, did you?”
“No! She ran through!”
“Okay!”
Sadie did not appreciate the towel and when Nancy finally let her go she fled to the bedroom, probably to hid under the bed. Nancy went back to the couch to get some studying in before her English test tomorrow.
Chapter Seventy-Nine
Nancy pulled out the hide-a-bed a few nights later to watch a scary movie. Cole was looking a little out of it, but he joined her with popcorn anyways.
“You pick the movie so you won’t blame me when you get scared.”
“Shut up!”
He put the popcorn down and pulled the sheet up a bit. Nancy put in the movie and sat down, her knees pulled up to her chin.
“Where’d you find those?”
“Find what?”
“The yellow pjs.”
“Oh. Um…they were buried in my drawer.”
“Hm.”
She grabbed a handful of popcorn. Cole reached over and slid his hand up her shirt to rest on her back. She froze with her hand halfway to her mouth.
“This okay?”
“I-I think so. Just give me a minute.”
It was another ten minutes before she started to relax again and focus on something besides his hand on her back. She could feel the scars on him, mostly small round ones, and she could especially feel the long, jagged one running three inches down his wrist. She was grateful that he’d messed up. A scar was better than dead.