Color Blind

by Lalla Squeglia

  “I don’t know.”

  Nancy leaned over and hugged him. Sadie squirmed out from between them and looked at him reproachfully.

  “I’m so proud of you.” she whispered.

  Cole swallowed. He didn’t remember anyone ever telling him that.

  “Thanks, Nance.”

  “Shh.”

  He didn’t want to move, but he eventually let go and sat up. Sadie jumped back on his lap.

  “Now what?”

  “I don’t know.”

  It didn’t matter. It was finally starting to sink in that things were better. Sean was gone. He could live his life the way he wanted it without looking over his shoulder. Now he just had to hope Nancy could do the same.

  Chapter Eighty-Eight

  It was an uphill battle, but Nancy managed to convince Cole that fingerless gloves did not go well with formal events. They settled on slightly overlong sleeves as a compromise.

  They had another hour and a half before they had to get ready. Cole was lying across her lap looking at the TV. He’d gotten no sleep the night before.

  “I’m gonna take a power nap.”

  “Okay. I’ll wake you up in about an hour, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  He yawned and pulled the sheet up to his neck. He still had a bit of a fever but the coughing had nearly stopped. She was nervous about tonight, too-there was probably going to be a lot of people. She didn’t like crowds.

  It’ll be fine.

  * * * *

  “Quit fussing with your sleeves.”

  “Are you sure I can’t wear gloves?”

  “Yes, I’m sure. You’ll look ridiculous if you do, trust me.”

  She added a swipe of lipstick and stepped away from the mirror. Cole stuffed his hands in his pockets.

  “Ready?”

  “No.”

  “It’ll be fine.”

  “Can’t we call in sick?”

  “No. You have to go, and if I have to drag you there, I’ll do it. Now come on, we’ll be late.”

  He put a mint in his mouth and bit it. Nancy took one last look at the mirror and put Sadie in the bathroom.

  “Come on. It’ll be okay.”

  He swallowed. Nancy reached up to comb his hair out one last time before picking up the car keys.

  * * * *

  Cole was in shock when he walked in. He hadn’t realized that many people were going to show up.

  “Okay, we’re here. Now let’s go.”

  “It’s okay. Come on, let’s go find…what’s-his-name? Alans?”

  “Yeah.”

  They didn’t have to look far. Alans met them halfway across the room.

  “Cole, Nancy, you’re just on time. Bet you weren’t expecting this many people.”

  “N-no.”

  “Don’t be nervous. You don’t really have to do anything but stay where the press can find you.”

  “Press?”

  “These things always get a lot of coverage. Don’t worry, they won’t bug you too much.”

  “But…”

  “Go. They know what you look like, they’ll find you.”

  Cole watched him go. He hadn’t been expecting that.

  “I don’t want to do this.”

  “It’ll be okay.”

  “What happened?”

  “I think you just hit overnight celebrity status.”

  “More like five-minute celebrity status. Get me out of here.”

  A tall man with curly blonde hair and blue eyes came up to them. He looked vaguely familiar-Cole was pretty sure he’d seen him singing in a band on TV.

  “Nice work, man.”

  “Th-thanks.”

  “You don’t like the fuss, either? It dies down. Just nod a lot and bullshit your way through the questions. A little alcohol won’t hurt, either.”

  “Thanks.”

  The man vanished into the crowd. Cole took a deep breath. The guy was probably right, but that didn’t help.

  “Let’s listen to blondie about the alcohol.” Nancy said.

  “Where is it, anyway?”

  “The giant tower of glasses is probably it.”

  * * * *

  Two hours later, Cole was a little more at ease. Not much, but a little. They’d found a safe spot at the back of the room. The wave of reporters had dropped drastically after one of them had had the audacity to ask him if he was high.

  Fucking asshole. Hope he chokes on a cracker.

  Nancy had given him a list of insults in case another asshole showed up, but no one else had asked the question. He suspected she was disappointed about that.

  What time can we go home?

  He didn’t want to go find Alans and ask, but he was tired and his chest hurt. Nancy was leaning against his side and when he looked down at her he was expecting her to be asleep. She wasn’t-she was fixated at something across the room.

  “Nancy?”

  “I need to get a drink. Want something?”

  “I’m fine-”

  She was gone before he finished his sentence. Not three seconds later, Dr. Grey came up to him. Cole froze.

  Sonofabitch, I’ll make you sorry…

  He shook his head to clear it. Although it was tempting, beating the shit out of the man wouldn’t do him or Nancy any good.

  “Cole! I have to say, I’m impressed. Congratulations.”

  “Thanks.”

  He tried to keep his voice neutral, but the look on the man’s face told him he wasn’t doing a good job.

  “I didn’t know you were an artist.”

  “This was sort of sudden.”

  And it’ll be real sudden when you need surgery to put your nose back in place.

  “Well, they’re very good. Are you going to sell them?”

  “Probably.”

  “For what?”

  “Don’t know yet.”

  Nancy came back, looking like she wanted to sink into the floor. Cole put his arm around her. She didn’t relax, but he was relieved to see that she wasn’t about to have a flashback. That was what mattered the most right now-he didn’t trust himself not to kick Dr. Grey in the stomach if that happened. Maybe more than a kick to the stomach.

  “Nancy! How are you?”

  “Fine. Cole…”

  “I think I see your dad. You should go say hi.”

  “You’re not coming?”

  “No, I better stay here. Reporters.”

  “Remember the list.”

  He nodded and felt her slip out from under his arm. Good. The anger ebbed a little bit-not much, but a little. He had control over himself again.

  But if I run into you in a dark alley, that might not be the case.

  “Well, I’d better get going.”

  “No. You and I need to have a little talk. Just a minute.”

  “What’s up? How’s everything going? You haven’t relapsed, have you?”

  Cole ignored him.

  “Listen to me. You’d better be damn grateful there’s a lot of people here right now because if there weren’t, and if Nancy wasn’t here, you would probably walk out of here with a couple of cracked ribs. And that’s if you’re lucky.”

  “Cole…”

  “Let’s get some shit straight. You may think you can just act like nothing happened, but this has royally fucked her up. So you are going to walk out of her life and stay out. You don’t know her anymore. No waving, no saying hi, no nothing. You back the fuck off or so help me…”

  “You don’t know anything.”

  “I know a lot. Door’s to your left.”

  Dr. Grey looked like he wanted to say something else but didn’t. When he was out the door, Cole let himself relax. That was one thing taken care of. Nancy came back a few minutes later.

  “Daddy says hi.”

  Oh, shit, her dad’s actually here?

  “Where is he?”

  “He saw someone he knew. He’ll be over in a minute. Where’d…um…”

  “H
e had to go.”

  “Good. I wasn’t really too excited about him being here.”

  “Can’t blame you. No, he won’t be back, I don’t think…there’s your dad.”

  John waved at them. Nancy waved back. Cole leaned against the wall, grateful for the support it gave his ribs. He was shaking after the adrenaline rush and he hoped Nancy didn’t notice.

  “Hello, Sir.”

  “Congratulations! I wasn’t expecting this.”

  “Neither was I.”

  “Now you have no excuse not to take care of my little girl.”

  “Daddy, don’t lecture him.”

  “He’s right.”

  Nancy rolled her eyes. The conversation faded into a gentle lull. Tonight had turned out much better than he had expected. Life was good.

  Chapter Eighty-Nine

  Nancy and Cole were lying on the bed a few weeks later, doing the crossword puzzle. This was their last night in this apartment-they had decided to move to a new one a few blocks down. It was much nicer, and bigger.

  “Popular music.”

  “That’s crap! Is it popular now or is it the timeless kind?”

  “Six letters.”

  “That’s not helpful.”

  “That’s the slot. Come, on think.”

  Cole groaned and rolled over.

  “No more puzzle.”

  Nancy rolled her eyes.

  “I think it’s grunge.”

  “God save us.”

  “Hey, the guy you met the other night is a grunge dude. And he was nice.”

  “And helpful.”

  Nancy wrote the word in and put the puzzle down. Sadie wouldn’t get off her pillow and she ended put her head on Cole’s shoulder instead.

  “I gotta stay here and pack the rest of the stuff tomorrow. You wanna go and get everything all signed and stuff and come and get me?”

  “Sure.”

  “Great.”

  She rolled over and put her hand on his arm. The scars were fading a little more.

  “You okay?”

  “Beyond okay. I didn’t think this would happen.”

  “How’s your ribs?”

  “Better. Sort of.”

  “They’re getting there. Who knows, they might be better in time for Christmas!”

  He groaned.

  “That long?”

  “Maybe longer.”

  “Fuck my life.”

  “Oh, don’t complain.”

  “When taking a shower hurts, I have every right to complain.”

  She glanced up. He didn’t look like a scared little boy any more. He didn’t look like some scary steroid-using-wrestler,

  thank god for that!

  but he didn’t look like a kid.

  “Cole?”

  “What?”

  “I love you.”

  “Love you, too.”

  She didn’t want to go to sleep. She’d been having nightmares on and off the past week and a half, and she was scared to go to sleep.

  “Night, Nance.”

  “Night, Cole.”

  She felt him reach over to flip the light off.

  Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might, don’t let me have nightmares about him tonight.

  Chapter Ninety

  Nancy’s wish did not come true, but she insisted she was fine and all but shoved Cole out the door at noon the next day. He didn’t feel right-it felt like something bad was going to happen. He knew he was being stupid, but he was still worried. Maybe he’d slept worse than he thought.

  The phone rang about half an hour before he’d left. It had been Alans, asking if he would come down that afternoon. He’d agreed and told Nancy he’d pick her up outside the building on his way back. Everything was moved except her school things and her teddy bear, but she’d wanted to clean it up once last time before they left. Whatever.

  Once everything was taken care of for the new apartment, he went down to Zig Zag. Now he was sitting in Alans’ office, wondering what the man wanted with him.

  “Everything’s sold now, Cole. So now we take the next step.”

  “Next step?”

  “Another show! Get back to work and keep in touch with us. As you finish things, send them in and we’ll tell you when we’ve got enough.”

  “Another show, Sir?”

  “That’s alright with you, yes?”

  He had to think about it. He hadn’t been expecting anything like this to happen.

  “I think so, Sir.”

  “We’d better get the particulars taken care of, then.”

  Wow. I’m an artist. An actual artist. Who sells things for a job.

  He couldn’t wait to tell Nancy.

  * * * *

  Nancy had everything packed up in her backpack. Now all she had to do was wait for Cole. It was about four in the afternoon and for once it wasn’t raining. She decided to go outside for a few minutes, enjoy the nice weather. She put her pepper spray in her pocket out of habit and went downstairs. It really was beautiful outside. There was even a hint of sunshine today.

  Things are getting better. The nightmares aren’t as bad as they used to be, even. Maybe I will be normal again.

  She thought she’d always be a little broken, but that was okay now.

  Like Grandpa used to say, “Shit happens.” But it’s not gonna control my life.

  She remembered she was out of cigarettes and decided to walk down to the corner store. She could be there and back in fifteen minutes at the most, plenty of time to meet Cole. He’d said he’d be back around four-thirty, four-forty five at the latest.

  Someone passed her with a dog and she got slobber on her jeans.

  Yucky! Oh, well.

  She was halfway to the corner store when she spotted Dr. Grey sitting on a bench a little ways away. She slowed down, thinking of ways to go around him, and decided,

  Fuck it. I have pepper spray and I’m not afraid to use it!

  She was shaking as she walked by, hand clutching the little bottle.

  “Nancy.”

  She didn’t answer him.

  Just keep walking, just keep walking.

  It occurred to her that no one was around. She picked up her pace, but now she could hear footsteps behind her.

  Seattle’s a pedestrian town. It’s just someone else going along, minding their own business.

  She was still relieved when she made it inside the corner store. But now she had to walk back. He was probably gone by now, she would be fine. She took the bottle out of her pocket anyway.

  She was on her way past the alley between the corner store and the bookstore when someone grabbed her arm and yanked her into it. The pepper spray flew from her fingers and she heard it strike the wall a few feet away.

  “Let go of me, let go of me!”

  “Who did you tell?”

  She froze, but only for a second.

  Fight him.

  She felt paralyzed but her mind was screaming at her to kick him in the crotch, bite his hand, anything.

  Fight him, dammit!

  “No one.”

  “Who did you tell, you fucking bitch!”

  He shoved her towards the wall, into the shadows. She could see the bottle now, and if she could bend down just a little she could grab it.

  “I didn’t tell anyone, let go of me!”

  She couldn’t stand up and she slumped down against the wall. He shook her and her head hit the brick. She could see stars now, but more importantly, she could just touch the pepper spray. She tried to roll it towards her and ended up rolling it away. Dr. Grey slapped her and shouted, “Who did you tell!”

  Maybe it was a rush of adrenaline. Maybe it was a guardian angel possessing her. Whatever it was, she managed to bring her knee up and hit him in the groin. He let go of her and fell over, wheezing. Nancy stood up and grabbed the pepper spray.

  “You leave me the fuck alone, do you understand that? If you ever come near me agai
n, so help me…”

  But he was standing up.

  Oh, god, he’s not human!

  “Just tell me who you told, that’s all I need to know.”

  She sprayed him in the eyes and he staggered back. Something snapped and she rushed him, spraying a continuous stream at his face.

  “You leave me alone! You goddamned monster, just leave me alone!”

  She had the satisfaction of seeing the panic in his eyes before everything grayed out.

  * * * *

  “Well, that’s all done…hang on a minute.”

  Cole leaned back in the chair and wondered who was on the phone. He wasn’t expecting Alans to hold the phone out to him.

  “Hello?”

  “Cole Martin?”

  “Yes. Who is this?”

  “This is Sergeant Dana from Seattle Police Force. Do you know someone called Nancy Hale?”

  “Yes, why?”

  Oh, god, don’t let her be dead, please say there wasn’t a break-in gone wrong…

  “You might want to come down here.”

  “What happened?”

  “Maybe she’ll tell you. We found her…look, just come down here. It’s complicated.”

  He hung up and was out the door before Alans could ask him what was going on.

  * * * *

  Sergeant Dana was a big woman. Cole thought she wasn’t going to take shit from anybody.

  “Nancy?”

  “Oh, yes. She’s fine-a few scratches, but nothing serious. Won’t say a word, though.”

  “What happened?”

  “Well, we got a call from someone who said they found her beating the living daylights out of some poor soul in an alleyway. There was a bottle of pepper spray by her, but it’s empty. We don’t know who the man is, but she had her wallet on her and the witness knew her. They had to pull her off the guy, and they’re separated right now. He’s in there-maybe you know him? An ex boyfriend, maybe?”

  Cole followed her into the other room. Dr. Grey was sitting in the chair holding a cup of coffee. He looked like he’d been hit by a truck-Cole could see several bruises on his face and his eyes were bloodshot. He was sitting funny, too. Cole hoped he had a broken bone.

  Or at least a broken dick. It would serve him right.

  “I know him. And you’d better take me out of here before I give him another injury.”

  “Who is he?”

  “Dr. Grey-I don’t know his first name. Works at a rehab clinic downtown. I knew him as the doctor dealing with me when I had to go down there. Nancy…Nancy worked for him. If I can get her to talk to you, you might want to get a recorder.”

  “I’ll give you a few minutes.”

  He went in. Nancy was wrapped in a blanket and clutching a mug. She looked okay. Numb and scared, sure, but okay.

  “Nance?”

  She looked up and for a minute he thought she didn’t recognize him.