Girl at Heart

by Kelly Oram

  “So…” Jace says, lacing our hands together. “Would you like to dance, or should we go find Leila and Mark?”

  I scan the room and am willing to bet that the large crowd in the middle of the dance floor is Leila’s popular crew. Yeah…no thanks. “Let’s just dance. Leila and Mark will find us eventually.”

  Jace’s eyes are on the same group of rowdy kids. He looks relieved when he turns to me with a smile. “Good idea.” He offers me his arm and leads me out to the dance floor. “Confession,” he says when we find a spot not quite in a corner all by ourselves but pretty close. “I don’t really know how to dance.”

  I laugh. “And you think I do?”

  Jace’s grin falls crooked. “Not really. I’ve seen your diving skills, after all. It’s a miracle you play ball as well as you do with your lack of grace.”

  I gasp and playfully smack my date on the arm. No, I playfully smack my boyfriend on the arm. My boyfriend! Jace King is my boyfriend! “Shut up! I knew he showed you that video.”

  Jace chuckles. “It was a pretty epic fail.”

  I can’t even be embarrassed. That belly flop was award worthy. “It really was,” I admit. “I’m still going to kill my father, though.”

  Just then, the music morphs into a slow song, and Jace and I grin at each other, equally relieved. “We’re saved.” Jace chuckles. “I can handle slow dancing. I mean, it’s really just an excuse to hold my girl, and that I can do.”

  I roll my eyes, but secretly I’m melting on the inside. His girl.

  We’re both content to sway to the song in silence, just enjoying each other’s company. I could stay like this all night, but I don’t get the chance. As soon as the song ends, Leila is there, ready to pounce. “Charlie! Jace! You guys are finally here! I was starting to worry that you skipped out on us.”

  We give her guilty smiles. We spent so much time on our picnic that we are pretty late to the dance. “Nope, just enjoying a fantastic picnic dinner downtown on the edge of the river.”

  “Aww. How romantic.” And that’s the limit on her patience. She grabs my arm and says, “Come dance with us.”

  She drags me toward the middle of the dance floor with Jace trailing behind us, clinging to my fingers. On the way, I run into Kevin and Diego. “Charlie!” Kevin calls. “Is that you? Girl, you look crazy good!”

  “Yeah, never would have guessed you could look so hot,” Diego adds, making me shake my head and chuckle. “Have to admit, it’s freaking me out.”

  I roll my eyes.

  Kevin places a hand on the back of the girl standing beside him. “Come meet Rochelle and Allie.”

  Both Kevin’s and Diego’s dates give me smiles and waves. Leila lets go of me and nods her head toward the group of kids in the middle of the dance floor. “Come dance with me when you’re done here.”

  I promise to find her, then let Kevin and Diego introduce Jace and me to their dates. Kevin’s date is super gorgeous. She’s tall with long silky black hair. She could be a model. Then there’s Diego with his freshman. He’s right; she’s really, really pretty. Tiny but beautiful.

  After introductions are over, I frown. “Where are Eric and Shelly?”

  Diego snorts, and Kevin groans. “That date is not going well,” Kevin says.

  “You were right to ditch us,” Diego adds. “Shelly is a nightmare.”

  Kevin cringes. “So high maintenance.”

  I could have told them she would be. “So what happened?”

  “Well, Kev and I were lamenting the fact that you ditched us at dinner.” Diego gives me a pointed look that is supposed to make me feel bad but doesn’t make me feel guilty in the least. “Then Shelly said something really rude, and Eric totally went off on her. He defended you and then told her the only reason he didn’t dump her already was because you made him promise not to ditch her right before the dance.”

  “That didn’t go over well,” Kevin says.

  He points to a table near the back of the room where Eric and Shelly are sitting together but facing away from each other. They both look pissed. I feel bad for Eric. He was really looking forward to tonight. I’m glad he defended me, but I feel like it’s my fault his night was ruined. “He looks miserable.”

  Kev and Diego and both of their dates all nod sympathetically. “She’ll ditch him for her friends soon, and then he can come hang out with us without being so grouchy,” Diego says.

  As if he can feel our eyes on him, Eric glances over. The look on his face is inscrutable. My heart aches for him, but I don’t know how to help him. I’d make him join Jace and me, but I don’t know if he even wants to be around me right now. “I feel bad,” I admit. “It’s my fault he’s having so many problems with his date.”

  “No, it’s Shelly’s fault,” Kevin says. I’m surprised by the fierceness in his statement. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

  Diego snatches me up in a big bear hug. “We’re sorry we’ve been such idiots,” he says. “We were freaked out that you’ve been different, but we didn’t mean to stop hanging out with you, and we should have realized what was happening with Shelly sooner.”

  “We should have stuck up for you,” Kevin admits. “Even from Eric when he was being so stupid about Jace and your makeover and stuff.” He yanks Diego away from me. “Share,” he demands, then scoops me into a bear hug of his own. “Forgive us?”

  My throat clogs up. Kevin and Diego have been missing from my life as much as Eric. Having them back is such a relief. “Nothing to forgive. Just promise me we’re all still best friends.”

  Diego snorts, and Kevin rolls his eyes. “Girl, you couldn’t get rid of us if you tried.”

  I laugh. “I have tried. Remember when we were twelve and you guys were being so mean about me getting my first training bra? I told you guys I never wanted to see you again, but Dad kept letting you in the house anyway.”

  “Heh. Yeah.” Diego smirks. “The training bra. I remember that. We all kept snapping it. You got so mad you cried.”

  “Seriously?” Jace asks, sounding so appalled it’s laughable. “You made fun of her for needing a bra?”

  Diego and Kevin both grin. No shame. “Yeah. Good times.” Kevin elbows me in the side and smirks at Jace. “You should have seen her go through puberty. She may be decent looking now, but back then?” He shudders.

  I gasp. “Kevin! Shut up! Like you were any better. All gangly arms and legs. You had no coordination for like three years. And you.” I point at Diego. “You had the worst BO of anyone I’ve ever met.”

  “That’s because he didn’t shower for months at a time,” Kevin teases.

  “One time!” Diego cries. “One time, because I was going for a world record.”

  Rochelle, Allie, and Jace all gape at Diego, and he turns bright red. Kevin and I both burst into laughter. “You both suck.” He pouts, which only makes Kevin and me laugh harder.

  The song changes to a familiar tune, and suddenly Leila is there again, tugging me by the elbow. “Come on, Charlie! This is our song!”

  It’s the song the girls taught me a dance for at the sleepover. I have to admit, I’m a little excited to try it. I give Jace a helpless shrug and a smile. He does his signature headshake/chuckle combo and waves me off. I know he’ll follow and be waiting to rescue me when the song is done. I say bye to the guys, and both Kevin and Diego watch me leave like they can’t believe I’m going to dance and have to see it. Kevin even takes out his phone. Hopefully I don’t look too ridiculous, or Dad will make a compilation video with the diving fail after Kevin sends him the footage.

  Leila drags me into the crush of dancers and finds the other cheerleaders already doing the dance. “You ready?” she asks, finding us a couple of spots.

  I grin and nod. I’ve never done anything like this before, but I jump right in with the other girls, and soon I’m dancing. My heart rate skyrockets with both nerves and exhilaration. Dancing is fun.

  After the song ends, I start to step back, but Leila
grips my hand and starts dancing to the next song. There’s no coordinated moves to this one, so I just kind of bounce around, trying to copy what the others are doing. Jace joins me, and we both do our best to blend in with the dancing crowd until another slow song comes on.

  We break apart a little ways from the group to get a few moments to ourselves. He pulls me close, and we start to slowly sway together. “Having fun?” he asks.

  I flash him a wide smile. “The best.”

  “I’m glad. I’m having a surprisingly good time, too. This is the best dance I’ve ever gone to.”

  “Confession,” I say, echoing his earlier statement. “I’ve never been to a dance before.”

  Jace’s brow lifts in surprise. “Really?”

  I shrug, and my cheeks heat up. “Technically, this is my first date, too. Unless you count the day we went to the ball game together.”

  Jace chuckles. “Nope. Definitely don’t count that. I forced myself on you that night. That’s not a date.”

  “Technically, my dad forced you on me, and by the end of the night I was glad you came.”

  Jace laughs again. “Well, that’s good, I suppose. So if that was your first date and this is your first dance, then does that mean I’m your first boyfriend?”

  Once again, I’m blushing like crazy. At least I’m not one of those people that turns all splotchy when I blush. I’m a pretty blusher. At least, that’s what my dad says. “You know you are,” I mumble. I meet his eyes and shyly add, “You’re my first everything.”

  I expect him to tease me, but instead his face softens, and he quietly says, “I’m honored. Thank you for trusting me with your heart, Charlie.”

  A nervous laugh bubbles up from my chest. “Trust you with it? More like you stole it from me and then convinced me that was a good thing.”

  Jace throws his head back and laughs, then pulls me even tighter in his arms. “And when, exactly, did I steal your heart?”

  I smirk. “Honestly? I’m pretty sure it was when you carried all my bags for me while Leila dragged me around the mall all day.”

  Jace laughs again, but it dies quickly and his gaze falls to my mouth. Immediately, the air is sucked out of the room, and my body goes on high alert. I know we’ve kissed before, but the anticipation doesn’t seem to lessen no matter how many times Jace moves in. “I may have stolen your heart that day, Charlie,” he murmurs, eyes still fastened on my lips, “but I gave you mine first. I gave it to you on the ride to the mall that same day when you bounced around in the front seat singing with my sister at the top of your lungs to one of my favorite songs. I knew right then that there was so much more to Charlie Hastings than anyone except for maybe your dad understood, and I knew that I was already a goner for you.”

  You’d think that a confession like that would make me nervous, especially considering the smitten look on Jace’s face, but a warm feeling spreads throughout my whole body, relaxing me and melting away all my nerves. Hit with a sudden burst of both confidence and joy, I wrap my arms around Jace’s neck and smash my lips to his.

  Jace answers the kiss like he’s trying to get us kicked out of the dance. I don’t think he’s ever kissed me quite so hungrily. It’s as if he wants to devour me. Like he needs to. I totally get it, because I feel the same way.

  We snap apart at the sound of someone clearing their throat. Eric is standing there, posture rigid, arms folded tight across his chest, and he’s glaring at Jace like he’d kill him if he could get away with it. “Mind if I cut in?” he growls in a low voice.

  Jace lets go of my waist but takes one look at the frown on Eric’s face and grabs my hand, lacing our fingers in a tight grip. He turns toward Eric but keeps me close to his side. I’m surprised he doesn’t just hand me over. He’s always been supportive of my relationship with Eric. It makes sense when he says, “That depends. Are you going to hurt her again?”

  Eric scoffs. “I would never hurt Charlie. She’s my best friend.”

  Jace still doesn’t let go of his grip on my hand. “That may be,” he says in a scary calm voice, “but it doesn’t change the fact that any time you talk to her anymore she ends up in tears.”

  Eric balks. “That’s your fault. She’s not the same person since she started hanging out with you. You’ve changed her. If you would just butt out of our business, we’d be fine.”

  For the first time since I’ve known him, Jace glares. It’s startling. He’s usually so even tempered, but right now he looks like he’s seconds away from punching Eric in the face. “No, you’d be fine. She’d still be miserable.”

  “Jace,” I murmur, placing my hand on his arm, hoping to calm him down. I don’t like seeing him so upset. It’s just wrong somehow.

  Jace takes a breath, but Eric’s raring for a fight. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  Eric looks truly affronted, and his complete ignorance of the situation makes Jace snap. “It means, genius, that I’m not the reason she needed a change. I didn’t even hardly know her until after she quit the team. She didn’t quit because of me. She didn’t ask my sister for help because she was trying to get my attention.”

  “Jace,” I whisper again, my heart starting to pound. But Jace is too amped up now to calm down.

  “This didn’t start when I went to the game with her. It started when you asked Shelly Turner to the prom. You broke her heart that day because you were too self-absorbed to see that she was in love with you.”

  “Jace, no!” I cry, but the damage is done. I can see it in Eric’s eyes. His face is as white as a ghost, and he’s staring at me in shock. He knows the truth now. Knows that I liked him as more than a friend. It doesn’t matter that I’m over my crush on him now; our relationship will never be the same again. He’ll always be afraid of me. Afraid I feel for him in a way he doesn’t reciprocate.

  Jace catches the look of dread on Eric’s face, and his eyes snap wide open as he realizes exactly what he’s done. He drops a curse and grabs both of my hands. “Charlie, I’m so sorry. I lost my temper.”

  I want to tell him it’s fine and everything’s okay, but I can’t focus on anything except Eric. I’m losing him. I can see it. I push past Jace and reach for Eric’s hand. He takes a step back, a step away from me, and my heart shatters for the I-don’t-know-how-manyith time. “Eric, wait. Please. It’s not like that anymore. I swear.”

  Eric shakes his head in small, frantic movements as if he’s trying to unhear this whole conversation.

  “Eric,” I plead, my voice cracking. I don’t know what I’m begging for, but I feel desperate.

  “I have to go,” Eric whispers, and then turns his back on me and practically bolts out of the room.

  As I watch him run from me, something inside me cracks and I go numb. It’s like my mind just shuts down. Arms come around me, and Jace pulls me into his chest. I feel like I should be crying or panicked or something, but I don’t really feel anything. Eric walking away from me broke me.

  “Charlie, I’m so sorry.” Jace apologizes again. “We’ll fix this. You guys will be all right. He’s not going to give up your friendship. I’ll talk to him. It’s going to be okay.”

  I’m not sure I believe him. Not after the look I saw on Eric’s face. “Will you take me home, please?”

  Jace squeezes me harder. “Of course. Whatever you need.”

  We don’t talk on the way back to Jace’s house—Jace because he feels bad, and me because I keep replaying the scene with Eric over in my head. When we get back to his house, we exit the car, and I come around to the driver’s side where Jace is holding the door open for me. He gives me a pained look. “Charlie, I am so sorry.”

  I force a small smile. “I know. It’s okay.”

  It’s really not okay, but I’m not mad at Jace. Eric knowing about my feelings for him was inevitable. How else are we supposed to make up if I can’t be honest with him? In a way, Jace probably did me a favor. It just doesn’t feel like it right now. Right now, it feels like the end of
the world.

  “It’s early still. You want to come inside for a while? Watch some TV?” Jace asks.

  I think about it for a moment, then shake my head. “Honestly, I just want to go to sleep. We’ve got a big game tomorrow.”

  Jace hesitates, wanting to say something, but decides against it. “Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

  He sounds a little dejected, or maybe he still just feels guilty. I don’t want to leave things with him on an awkward note. I’ve already got one rocky relationship. I don’t want things to be weird with my boyfriend, too. “Thank you, Jace.” I take his hands and step close as I lace our fingers together. “Tonight was amazing. Dinner, the dance…everything.”

  “You sure?”

  “I’m sure,” I promise, and press my lips to his.

  The kiss is simple and sweet and just about all my battered heart can handle at the moment. When I pull away, Jace squeezes my hands. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Get some rest, Charlie.”

  “You too.”

  Once I get home, I slump down on a barstool at the kitchen island. I pull my phone out of my clutch and look at the screen. No missed calls or texts. I was really hoping Eric tried to call. I don’t know why he would, though. He basically ran from me tonight.

  I dial his number with my heart in my throat. I have no idea what I’m going to say to him, but I can’t leave things the way they are. The phone rings and rings with no answer. When it goes to voice mail, I hang up and call back. This time it goes straight to voice mail, which means he deliberately turned off his phone. “Eric,” I croak after the beep. “It’s not what you think. I can explain. Please, just call me. Or come over. I’m home already. I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you before, but I’m ready to talk now. Please. I miss you.”

  As soon as I hang up, I lay my head down on the counter and close my eyes. I’m so tired of this thing between Eric and me that I’m just mentally and emotionally exhausted. And that’s where Dad finds me passed out about half an hour later when he gets home from work. “Charlie?”