The Sidelined Wife (More Than a Wife Series Book 1)

by Jennifer Peel

  Forty? I was still coming to terms with that number. While everyone was saying the forties are the new twenties, my body was saying, You wish.

  “Thank you. I think.” I grinned.

  Up next were my brothers. I got a big bear hug from each. Peter was dressed up as Fred Flintstone. I assumed that meant Delanie was dressed up as Wilma with her red hair; it would have been perfect. But I didn’t see her right off. That made sense when Peter backed away and made room for my parents. I noticed the hard stare he gave Ma before he walked off. They still weren’t talking.

  I thought for a second Ma was going to say something to him, but instead she turned her sights on me . . . or should I say, my costume. She shook her head and pressed her lips together. Neither she nor Dad were dressed up, unless shocked was a costume.

  “Samantha Marie, what is this you’re wearing?” Ma waved her hand up and down. “You’re going to give everyone the impression that you are spreading your NDAs around!”

  Oh, why couldn’t she forget about that? “It’s nice to see you too, Ma.”

  Dad stepped in and wrapped his arms around me and whispered in my ear, “Happy birthday, baby girl. You look too good.”

  “Thanks, Dad.” I hugged him for a few seconds longer, enjoying the safety of his arms and trying to avoid Ma for as long as possible.

  Dad stepped away, giving Ma a clear shot of me. She was about to lay into me again, until . . .

  “Happy birthday, Sam.” Reed, my savior, showed up, and he was definitely wearing a wolf head. He was opening a can of worms I wasn’t ready for.

  “Hi.” I did my best not to grimace at his costume. His smile made it hard to be upset with him.

  He turned toward my parents. “I’m sorry, am I interrupting anything? I just wanted to wish Samantha a happy birthday.”

  Ma patted his arm. “You are such a nice boy. Had I known you were going to be here, I would have invited Penelope. I’ve been telling her all about you. You really should come to church and meet her.”

  Reed rubbed the back of his neck. “I’ll think about it.”

  “I better go say hi to everyone else.” I made a quick escape while jealous tinges tried to take root. I tried to fight them off with logical thoughts. For example, Penelope was young and a model, of course Reed should want to meet her. And we had made no commitments to each other, so he was free to date whomever he wanted. Not sure any of those thoughts helped, but the barrage of people greeting me helped me to at least focus on something else.

  There were so many people I hadn’t seen in years. I had a feeling my newfound semi-fame played a role in their attendance. People like the Pollards, who I hadn’t seen since my wedding, were there and hugging me like we were the best of friends. Or the Brownings, who made mention how much they loved my blog and wondered if I would mention their tire store in exchange for a free rotation. Not sure what to say, so I moved on. And there were a lot of people to move on to. Eventually I got to Delanie, who was indeed Wilma Flintstone and wow, was I envious of her twenty-something body. No wonder Peter was holding on tight.

  She kissed my cheek. “You look gorgeous tonight.”

  “Not as gorgeous as you.”

  She waved me off. “This was Peter’s idea.”

  “Guilty,” Peter admitted while he ogled his wife.

  Delanie leaned in toward me. “Did you and Reed coordinate costumes?”

  “No,” I immediately shot that idea down. “It’s a weird coincidence.”

  “Yeah.” She nodded.

  “He said he was a German Shepherd,” Peter interjected.

  “Oh. I can see that.” No, I didn’t. Who dressed up like a German Shepherd?

  “Uh-huh.” Delanie wasn’t buying it.

  “I’m going to get a drink,” I interrupted. “Does anyone want one?”

  “It’s your party, sis, let me get you something,” Peter offered.

  “You married a keeper, Delanie.”

  “I know.” She pecked Peter’s lips.

  “I’ll take anything from the non-alcoholic table. Thank you.” I couldn’t stand the thought of Ma scolding me for drinking dressed as I was, plus I had to drive myself home. No more designated Neil.

  I wanted to talk to Delanie more, but Avery and James’s neighbor, Gary, the one Avery had been trying to set me up with, decided to engage me in conversation.

  “I’m not sure if you remember me, but I’m Gary Wright. I live next door.” The distinguished man with traces of gray in his chestnut hair, a spark in his emerald eyes, held out his hand.

  I took a closer look and had to admit he was handsome, but I couldn’t place him. Maybe it was the This is my Halloween Costume shirt that was throwing me for a loop. It reminded me of Neil. He was the last person I wanted to be reminded of tonight. He’d found adult Halloween parties juvenile. Maybe they were, but they were fun.

  I took his hand. “I’m sorry, I don’t remember you, but it’s nice to meet you again. I’m Samantha.”

  “The birthday girl.” He let go of my hand after his firm shake.

  “Girl is stretching it, but yes, in a couple of days.” I had kind of been dreading it. And now look, I got to celebrate it early.

  His baritone laugh filled the crowded room. “Well, you look good to me.” His ears turned bright red.

  Delanie’s eyebrows raised.

  Yes, that was awkward. “Thanks.” My voice was hitting some high notes.

  Might as well add a dash more of awkward. Reed joined us in his “dog” costume.

  “Sounds like this is where the party is.” He held out his hand to Gary. “I’m Reed, longtime friend of the guest of honor.”

  Gary studied the fur face atop Reed’s head. “Gary, new acquaintance of the birthday girl.”

  Both men turned to me and smiled as if they expected me to say something.

  I said the dumbest thing I could. “I heard it might snow tonight.” Wow. Sam for the win. The really ridiculous part was that I hadn’t heard that; it was fifty degrees outside. It had been a warmer than usual fall day.

  “Really?” Gary seemed intrigued and pulled out his phone to check his weather app. Exactly what Neil would have done.

  Reed, on the other hand, knew I had no idea what I was talking about. The biggest smirk filled his face. “I hope you don’t catch a cold, Little Red Riding Hood.”

  “Thank you for your concern. Excuse me, I’m going to see if I can help Avery in the kitchen.”

  “Me too.” Delanie followed.

  Peter noticed and walked into the kitchen with us. He handed me some punch and Delanie a glass of white wine. I almost begged her to swap. But who knew what would come out of my mouth if I added alcohol into the mix?

  “Thank you,” I said as I took the punch.

  “You okay?” Peter asked.

  “Looks like Sam has a few admirers tonight,” Delanie answered for me.

  “Ooh, is Gary one?” Avery jumped in with her hands full of wrapped wieners on a tray.

  “Yes, and Reed is the other.”

  I choked on my punch.

  “No way.” Avery laughed. “She babysat him.”

  “From the looks of it, I don’t think he would mind if she took care of him again,” Delanie commented.

  Peter didn’t look surprised at all.

  Avery was still shaking her head. “That’s crazy talk. I heard he was going to ask out Penelope, the model girl from church.”

  Jealousy pricked my nerves again.

  “Hmm.” Delanie stared at me. “What do you think?”

  “I’m sure they would make a lovely couple.” I set my drink down on the kitchen counter before reaching for the tray Avery was holding. “Let me help you.”

  “It’s your party, I got it,” Avery tried to protest.

  “Please, let me help.” I wasn’t taking no for an answer. I took the tray and headed for their dining room where there was a huge spread, including a large sheet cake with, Happy Birthday, Samantha, written out in red i
cing.

  Avery laughed at my side. “What a riot, you and Reed. Funny, though, how your costumes match.”

  “Peter said he was a German Shepherd.”

  “That makes sense.”

  No, it didn’t. None of this was making a lot of sense to me.

  “Thanks, by the way.” I set the tray down near the condiments on the table. “You didn’t have to do this.”

  “It was my pleasure. You needed to ring in forty with a bang.” She shimmied up close to me. “So what do you think of Gary? Handsome, huh?”

  “Yeah.” I nodded.

  “He’s a loan officer for a local bank. He’s been divorced and has two younger girls that he gets every other weekend and a couple of times during the week. Cutest things ever.”

  I hadn’t thought about dating someone with children. Blending a family. I supposed I should have. There were a lot of things I should have thought about. Not that I was against it; I wasn’t. But what would Cody think? And I would have to think about someone else’s ex. Maybe I wasn’t ready for all this. Then there was Reed. From the sounds of it, our fun could be coming to an end.

  “Sounds nice.” I grabbed a cheese cube from off the table and popped it in my mouth.

  She waved her hand in front of my face. “Are you okay? You seem lost in thought.”

  “I think I just need some fresh air. This is kind of overwhelming for me.” She had no idea how true that was.

  “You deserve it.” She gave me a tight Avery hug.

  I slipped out the back door, well, sort of. At least five people wished me happy birthday before I could make my escape. I took a deep, cleansing breath once I hit the night air and closed the sliding glass door behind me. It was a little chilly in my getup, but no snow was in the air. I retreated down the deck steps and headed for the koi pond they had in their beautifully landscaped backyard. In the summer it was more glorious, with a variety of blooming flowers. Even now it was beautiful, but most importantly, peaceful.

  I took a seat on the small stone bench near the edge of the pond. The cape was hardly any source of warmth, but I pulled it around me. I thought back to last year when I found my solace out here during the Halloween party. Same place, different reason. Or was it different? Maybe it was a new set of issues, but it all stemmed from my marriage falling apart. Last year I was in denial. This year there was no denying it.

  I think part of me wished I could be like the koi fish that had retreated to the bottom of the pond, invisible. I had done my best for months to make myself as scarce as possible, even from myself. Now that I was emerging, there were growing pains. More lessons to be learned. Pain that had to be dealt with.

  “Hey, there.”

  My time alone had come to an end. My focus stayed on the dark pool of water. “What are you doing out here?”

  “This is where you are.”

  “You shouldn’t have come out here. My family is already suspicious.”

  “Would it be so bad if they knew?”

  I swiveled on the bench to face him. He looked ridiculous. “Nice costume, by the way.”

  His lip twitched, forming a half smile. “I couldn’t resist once you told me what you were coming as. You’re stunning, by the way, but you’re avoiding the question.”

  It was a good question, and one he deserved an answer to.

  He stepped closer. “I’m not asking you for a commitment.”

  Right. I knew that. It’s not like I should be thinking along those lines anyway. “I have to talk to Cody first.”

  His eyes dared me . . . or was that pleaded with me? I couldn’t tell in the dark.

  “But will you?”

  I wasn’t sure.

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  The party was not the lighthearted event I’d imagined it would be. I did best my best once I came in out of the cold to be engaging and, most importantly, grateful to Avery and Delanie for putting it all together.

  Avery was exhausted from playing hostess, and Delanie and Peter had a mini blowup with Ma at the party when I opened my gift from them—it was a full-size cutout of Hunter Black. I was staring at him right now, shirtless and smiling back at me. Ma thought it was highly inappropriate and voiced her loud opinion. Peter wasn’t having it. He told Ma he was tired of her criticism of all of us. That did not go over well. She left in tears.

  Then there was Reed, for my birthday he had bought me the same Bryan Adam’s poster and shirt he ruined all those years ago. I’d wanted to kiss him right there in front of everyone for it. And find out how he found them. They had to cost a pretty penny. But I’d had to play it cool even though I loved it more than Hunter Black. I would find a special place for both the poster and the cutout.

  To top it off, Gary was giving all the signals that he would like to ask me out on a date, but I knew I would say no. He reminded me too much of Neil. I didn’t care that Ma gave him her seal of approval, except that it was in front of Reed. Reed acted unaffected. I wasn’t sure what to make of it, or if I was just making something out of nothing, or was that nothing out of something? But a weird tension hung in the air between Reed and me. I didn’t like it, and I wanted to fix it.

  It all had me in no mood for the caller in the middle of the night. I’d barely climbed into bed when Neil’s name popped up on my phone’s screen. Was this one of those middle-of-the-night drunk dials you hear about in songs? It seemed unlikely, since I’d never seen Neil drunk. I didn’t answer the first couple of times he called, but by the third time, I figured I’d better. Actually, I panicked that there might be something wrong with Gelaire. Why else would he call me so late?

  “Hello?”

  “Sam, sorry it’s so late.”

  “Is there something wrong with your mom?”

  “No.” He paused.

  “Why are you calling?”

  Then I heard it, the unmistakable sound of an infant’s cry.

  “Shhh,” Neil tried to soothe the baby in hushed, tender tones.

  My eyes flooded with tears. I hated myself for it. “I suppose congratulations are in order.”

  “Sam, I’m so sorry.”

  “Why are you calling me?”

  “Because, you don’t know how sorry I am. I didn’t know until the last few months, until the last few hours. Sam, this should have all been with you.”

  I squeezed my eyes shut. “Stop, stop, stop. I can’t do this with you.”

  “Please let me get this out. You were right, I was selfish.”

  “Great. Do you feel better now?” I knew I didn’t.

  “No,” he cried. “I miss you, Sam. We should have had another baby together. I’m sorry we never did.”

  I thought of all of the games he’d missed over the years, and anger took over my sadness. “Why? So you could ignore more of our children?”

  “That’s going to change. I want Cody to know his sister, to know me.”

  He had a girl. Tears streamed down my face.

  “Neil, you can’t do this to me anymore.”

  “If I could take it all back, I would.”

  “You made your choice.”

  “I was a fool.”

  “I won’t disagree with you. Goodnight.”

  “I love you, Sam.”

  I hung up. I couldn’t take it. Why did he have to call? Why did he have to be with someone else to figure out he should have been with his wife all along?

  The bed felt incredibly empty all of a sudden. I needed someone desperately right now. Reed kept popping into my mind. But could I just call him in the middle of the night? Especially now since there was this weirdness between us.

  My mind wouldn’t let it go. Fine. I’d text him. If he answered I would take it as a sign.

  Can I come over?

  Why did I text that? I meant to say, can you talk?

  I didn’t have time to worry about how stupid I was; he texted right back, Yes, please.

  I didn’t think. I threw on my slippers and fled the house and thoughts of Neil and h
is daughter. Tears poured down my face as I sped down the deserted roads to Reed’s. He had to be wondering why I was coming over. Or maybe he thought he knew and I was going to disappoint him. I wouldn’t blame him for thinking what he was probably thinking. I knew what I would think if he had texted me in the middle of the night. Oh, gosh. What had I gotten myself into? Thoughts of turning around screamed in my head, but thoughts of being alone shoved those other thoughts right out.

  Before I knew it, I was sitting in front of Reed’s house. Not a soul in sight on the sleepy street; even the lampposts were out. I looked down at my frumpy plaid flannel pajamas in pink. I was a sight with that ugly cry-face on top of my outfit. Crap, I wasn’t even wearing a bra. Good thing my shirt was loose, and I was never well endowed. I should have probably left, but Reed had already seen me. He was standing at his front door waiting for me.

  I turned off my car and took another breath. I was committed now to this half-cocked emotional reaction. I made my way to Reed, who was also in pajamas. They were even flannel, at least the black bottoms were. He was hiding his glorious chest behind a white t-shirt. Not going to lie, I was disappointed by that.

  I stopped a few feet short of him and his door. The sight of him had the tears reappearing.

  “Will you hold me?” Did that sound pathetic? I didn’t really care.

  Without a word he stretched out his arms. I flew into them. He embraced me before shutting his door with his foot.

  I cried into his chest. He didn’t utter a word. He only stroked my hair while holding me tight. We stood like that, minute upon minute, until every shudder, tear, and sniffle was done. Reed gave me a good squeeze once it was all out of me. “Can I hold you on the couch, or do you want to stay here?”

  I laughed into him. “The couch sounds great.”

  In a fluid move, he took my hand and led me through his entryway to the small living room on the left. He flipped on a light as we went.

  “You might want to keep that off. I don’t want to scare you any more than I probably already have.”

  He chuckled and pulled me along. “I was right, you make flannel look good.”

  His large brown leather sofa that had some serious puffiness to it filled the small room along with his fifty-inch TV. Such a bachelor pad. The only feminine touch were the navy curtains. He sat down on the couch first and pulled me right onto his lap. I curled into him and rested my head on his chest. His heartbeat was strong and steady, like him.