The Delicious Series: The First Volume

by Stella Starling

  Like it or not—and that was a definite, unequivocal not—he needed to start setting things in motion for his own move.

  But he hadn’t.

  Not yet.

  Instead, he’d felt frozen all weekend. Numb. He’d just gone through the motions, doing the barest minimum he needed to in order to function.

  Eat, sleep, work… don’t think about leaving.

  A part of him hadn’t wanted to get out of bed at all, but in the end, he was thankful that he’d had a packed work schedule at the gym. It had given him just enough to occupy his mind that he’d been able to keep his emotions firmly on pause.

  He hadn’t managed to do much more than be civil to the clients and staff he’d had to interact with, and even though the gym owner had been in, Nick hadn’t been able to bring himself to tell Howie about the move yet, either. He laughed dryly, thinking back to his conversation with Beck when they’d gone over the personal training contract together. How confident he’d been that he’d never have reason to use the clause allowing him to transfer to a different location.

  Nick honestly had no idea whether Howie had a gym in the Seattle area or not, but even though a part of him knew he should care—knew he needed to talk to the man as soon as possible to get the ball rolling—he just kept… not.

  His thoughts kept tumbling around and around, trying to find an answer that didn’t exist. One that would let him stay. But no matter how many possibilities he considered, which path his mind traveled down, it always led back to the same inevitable truth: Ava was going, so Nick was going.

  Nothing would make him break his promise to always be in her life.

  To put her first.

  In the end, he knew he wasn’t capable of making any other decision, which meant that he needed to suck it up, shake off his procrastination, and get on with making it happen.

  He had to figure out how to break the lease on his apartment.

  Had to decide if he wanted to sell the truck, or drive it back to Washington.

  He had to tell his mom he was coming back.

  Tell Beck.

  Tell… Jeremy.

  Fuck.

  FUCK.

  Jeremy straightened up to do a quad stretch and caught sight of Nick’s truck. His face broke into that smile that reminded Nick of Vega, brightest star in the Summer Triangle. Glowing. Jeremy started to jog over, and Nick took a breath, holding it in his lungs for a second—as if he could stop time—and then letting it out slowly when it turned out that he couldn’t.

  Okay.

  He wasn’t going to fuck up the time he had left by being in a pissy mood.

  He smiled back at J, turning off the truck and hopping out just as Jeremy reached it. Nick didn’t want the knowledge that their time together was coming to an end to ruin this last little piece of it.

  “Hey,” Jeremy said, giving him the FBF look. The one that would sell anyone on the fact that J was into him.

  Nick swallowed, shoving his hands in his pockets to keep from tempting himself. Why did finding out it was never going to happen suddenly make things seem so clear? He’d been wasting time, scared to move ahead because he was afraid of losing what they had, only to find out he was going to lose it all, anyway.

  If he had it all to do over again…

  If things could be different…

  But he didn’t, and they couldn’t. All he could do now was enjoy his role as fake boyfriend for as long as it lasted, and stop pointlessly wishing he still had time to make it real. Admitting he wanted to would only make leaving harder, for both of them—and it wouldn’t change anything, anyway—so he had to stay in character.

  “Hey, Pumpkin,” he said, forcing a smile. It turned into the real thing when the nickname earned him the predictable response.

  He didn’t know how J did it, but no matter how happy the guy looked, he always managed to crank it up a notch when Nick said the right thing. It was contagious, and Nick gratefully let Jeremy’s unflagging good cheer drive away his black thoughts.

  Time enough for those later.

  “Saw you warming up. You ready to go?” Nick asked, giving in and touching him. Just a tug on his shirt, but Nick cheated and let his knuckles brush against skin so he could get the little shiver he’d become addicted to.

  Yup.

  There it was.

  Jeremy laughed, but he didn’t pull away. He never did. God, Nick had been a fool.

  “Ready?” Jeremy repeated back, shaking his head to deny it, even though his grin said something else. “You know I hate this torture you put me through.”

  “Don’t lie, J. You love it.”

  “I don’t love it,” Jeremy insisted, eyes sparkling.

  “Then why are you smiling?” Nick asked, tugging on Jeremy’s shirt again to bring him closer.

  He wanted to bask in that smile, like sunshine.

  Jeremy’s breath caught on a little laugh, as if he could tell that Nick wanted more. Was Nick being that obvious? He needed to get a handle on that. Now that he’d let himself face the truth about how he felt, wanting more was unavoidable. Doing something about it, though, was off the table. He and Jeremy always flirted. It never went anywhere, but now J was looking at him like he thought it might. Like he wanted it to, too.

  Or maybe Jeremy had always looked at him that way.

  Nick’s eyes dropped to his mouth.

  “Um, you’ve gotten really good at selling the whole looking like you’re about to kiss me thing…?” Jeremy’s voice trailed off, rising at the end so it was almost a question.

  Nick came to his senses, throwing Jeremy a playful wink. “Gotta stay in character, J,” he said, letting go of Jeremy’s shirt and lacing their fingers together as he started toward the paved path that circled the park. “Let’s go.”

  “Okay,” Jeremy said. His look of disappointment appeared and was gone so quickly that Nick should have missed it. Would have, if he hadn’t felt hyper-aware of every move Jeremy made.

  Every breath.

  Nick had always been able to tell what Jeremy was feeling—the guy wore his heart on his sleeve 24/7—but today Nick felt like all his senses had gone into overdrive, every one was focused 100% on all the things he was going to miss. He wanted to remember the feel of Jeremy’s hand in his, the way it fit perfectly, like the matching piece of a puzzle. He needed to hold on to the sound of J’s almost-constant laughter, and the faint scent of the soap he used. Nick had no idea what brand it was, but knew he could pick it out blindfolded if he had to. It suddenly felt like the most important thing in the world to make sure he memorized the way the sun glinted off the light dusting of hair on Jeremy’s arms, the way J’s eyes changed color in the light, the exact curve of his lips.

  Nick wanted to taste them.

  He never had, and now he never would, and the knowledge was almost physically painful.

  But even though he’d resolved not to let his mood spoil the day, he couldn’t figure out how to let it go and fall into the easy rhythm they usually had together. His stomach was twisted in a painful knot made up of urgency and desperation and despair, and even though J was right next to him, his hand still clasped tightly in Nick’s, it felt like he was slipping away. Like Nick had already lost him, even though he’d never really had him in the first place.

  Nick tried to convince himself that he was overreacting—people parted ways every day, and it wasn’t like he and Jeremy had ever treated their faux-relationship as anything but a running joke—but he couldn’t make himself stop. Somewhere along the way, he’d gone from faking it to feeling it, and now his heart refused to believe that it had never been real.

  “So what are we doing today?” Jeremy asked cheerfully, recovering from his earlier flash of disappointment and grinning at Nick like they had all the time in the world. “More of that horrid Mudder training program?”

  “Sure,” Nick said, even though, for once, he’d completely blanked on planning anything for their scheduled workout. Easy enough to run them bot
h through the basic strength and endurance building exercises that he and Beck had always used to prepare for the tough obstacle course, though.

  Even if it was just an excuse to spend time together.

  Although—

  Nick stopped, spinning Jeremy around to face him.

  “The Mudder. You should come,” he said, gripping J by the shoulders and willing him to say yes.

  “To Seattle?” Jeremy asked, eyes going wide. “With you?”

  Yes.

  “Meet me there in September,” Nick said. Urged. Pleaded.

  Shit. He was going to scare Jeremy away with his intensity if he didn’t take it down a notch. And really, having J fly out for the Tough Mudder wasn’t going to change anything.

  A few days wouldn’t be enough.

  But fuck it, he’d still take them, if J said yes.

  “Meet you? Why can’t we just go together?” Jeremy asked, cocking his head to the side quizzically. “Are you planning on flying out early?”

  Jeremy may have looked a little confused, but he still looked like Jeremy. Happy. Nick squeezed his eyes closed for a second, hating to kill the glow. It was inevitable, though. Nick wasn’t going to lie to him. It had been ridiculous to think he’d be able to put off telling J about leaving, not when he couldn’t seem to go more than a few seconds without thinking about it himself.

  “Jeremy, I—”

  Couldn’t say it.

  Jeremy lifted an eyebrow expectantly. “You…? What?” he prompted, still glowing. Laughter lacing his voice, as if he were preparing himself for another round of their endless teasing banter.

  A feminine squeal saved Nick from answering, at least for the moment.

  “Oh my God, you guys are so cute! Hi Jeremy! Hi Nick! Imagine running into the two of you here!”

  Nick had been so focused on Jeremy that he hadn’t even noticed Candi and her friend Marcie round the curve of the running trail ahead of them until Candi had called out. She bounced over to them perkily, ponytail swinging behind her, and beamed up at them.

  “Hey, Candi,” Jeremy said.

  J lost the easy smile he’d greeted her with as he looked toward Marcie, and his eyes narrowed, just slightly. He shifted his weight so he was half blocking Nick from Marcie’s view, tilting his chin up in something that might have been acknowledgement.

  Or challenge.

  His greeting for her was distinctly less cheerful. Barely civil, actually.

  “Marcie,” Jeremy said, grabbing Nick’s hand and yanking him closer as the word left his mouth. Staking his claim.

  Nick bit back a smile, his FBF’s cute little show of possessiveness jolting him out of his blue mood for a moment.

  Jeremy didn’t know it, but he was Nick’s secret weapon. Marcie still hadn’t given up on her campaign to get his attention at the gym, but whenever she got too overzealous, Nick had found that talking about how happy he was with his “boyfriend” would get her to stomp off in a huff and buy him a few moments of peace.

  Win.

  Marcie’s eyes zeroed right in on their joined hands before raking up and down Nick’s body—what she could see of it around Jeremy, at least. J wasn’t that big of a guy, but he was using what he had to take up as much space as possible, all but pissing on Nick to mark his territory. Nick’s cheeks started to feel the strain of not laughing.

  God, Jeremy was cute.

  “You two are still together, huh?” Marcie asked sourly.

  “Mm-hmm,” Jeremy said, staring her down.

  Nick gave in and grinned. J definitely earned the Oscar for staying in character.

  Nick lifted their hands, planting a warm kiss on the Summer Triangle freckles dotting Jeremy’s wrist. He hadn’t let himself do that since the first time, and even though it wasn’t the taste of J that he wished he could have, he’d take whatever he could get, justifying it with the excuse that his FBF clearly wanted to sell the charade to Marcie.

  Still, it was definitely more intimacy than he’d allowed himself, and when Jeremy shot him a startled look, Nick winked back at him, hoping to play it off.

  He had to admit, he loved the insta-red that he got in response.

  And the blinding smile that followed it.

  “I’d be a fool to let him go, don’t you think, Marcie?”

  Even though he’d directed the words at his nemesis, Jeremy didn’t seem capable of looking away from Nick, holding his gaze and looking at him like he was utterly smitten. It was exactly the expression that Nick longed to see—to have be real—but Jeremy’s choice of words forced reality to intrude on the moment.

  Nick’s smile faltered.

  Which, of course, Marcie noticed.

  “Looks like holding on to him might not be a decision that’s up to you, Jeremy,” she said gleefully.

  “Marcie!” Candi said, smacking her on the shoulder. “I love you, girl, but let it go.”

  “What?” Marcie said, pulling up an innocent-and-wounded look. “I’m just saying that it takes two for a couple to stay together. Jeremy may be all starry-eyed, but let’s get real. Nick doesn’t look nearly as happy. If he’s ready to move on—”

  Ready?

  “No,” Nick said, more forcefully than he’d intended. “Ready” was definitely not something that he was. At all.

  Marcie snapped her mouth closed, looking offended. “What. Ever,” she said, making it into two words, heavily weighted with attitude. “I need some water.”

  She flounced off toward the parking lot, oblivious to the matched set of eye rolls she got from Candi and Jeremy.

  “Sorry about that,” Candi said. “I swear, sometimes that girl doesn’t know when to stop. It’s like she’s got selective hearing when it comes to the word ‘no.’ But anyway, are you guys still planning on doing that muddy marathon thing out in Seattle the same weekend as the reunion? Because it would be so much fun if you came! To the reunion, I mean. God, I don’t know why you’d want to go do that other thing. And we could still use some help on the committee—”

  Jeremy’s snicker cut her off, and Nick bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing at the woman’s obliviousness. She and Marcie really were a match made in heaven.

  “What?” Candi asked, looking back and forth between the two of them in confusion.

  “Nothing,” Jeremy said generously. “But sorry, we still can’t make it. We’re going to be in Seattle. We were just talking about our travel plans when you showed up, actually.”

  The mention of Seattle had Jeremy glowing again—practically vibrating, actually—brimming over with a suppressed excitement that Nick couldn’t help but respond to. J’s happiness pulled Nick in the way it always did, and he tuned out Candi’s pouting reply and tugged on Jeremy’s hand, turning J around to face him.

  Nick needed to hear the yes again. Needed to know that when he left Tulsa, it wouldn’t be the last time he saw Jeremy.

  “You’re going to come?” he asked, giving himself permission to wrap his arms around Jeremy’s waist since Candi was still watching. It wouldn’t be fair to try and change things between him and J now, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself from milking his fake boyfriend rights for all they were worth.

  “You really want me to?” J asked, exercising some FBF rights of his own. He skimmed his hands over Nick’s arms and chest, his touch bringing Nick’s body to life everywhere it landed.

  “Definitely,” Nick said, his voice coming out huskier than he’d intended as Jeremy’s arms settled around his waist, too.

  “Then, you’d better sell it,” Jeremy teased, his tongue darting out to wet his lips as he leaned into Nick, the hint of a challenge in his eyes.

  Nick’s lips twitched. Jeremy was the opposite of subtle, and it was as cute as it was tempting. Actually, maybe more on the tempting side of the scale at the moment.

  Nick didn’t have it in him to resist.

  He slid his fingers under the hem of J’s shirt, dragging them across warm skin, running his thumbs up Jeremy’s
obliques. J’s lips parted in surprise, and he gave Nick the skin-shivering response he’d been hoping for. A needy little sound escaped J’s lips—something Nick felt more than heard—and Nick sucked in a sharp breath as it went straight to his cock, making it start to swell almost as fast as his heart did.

  Jeremy wanted him.

  And knowing it left Nick no choice but to give in and kiss him.

  Finally.

  The moment their lips touched, Jeremy’s breath instantly became his new favorite flavor. It was laced with chocolate and heat and something that tasted like it had been made just for Nick. J’s mouth was soft, eager and delicious, and kissing him felt both enchantingly new and utterly familiar at the same time. After a moment of surprised hesitation, Jeremy threw himself into the kiss with the same all-in approach he brought to everything they did together, and Nick groaned, J’s enthusiasm taking him from sweet exploration to turned-the-fuck-on faster than he could think.

  Jesus.

  They were in the middle of the park.

  Candi was watching.

  Nick tried to make himself care, but his hands and lips and tongue and too-long-neglected cock had other ideas. A tiny part of his brain was making note of the differences; he was kissing a man, and it wasn’t the same. Jeremy’s hard chest was flat, letting Nick pull his entire body flush against him. Definite win. There was also an extra erection in the mix—proving that J had gone from zero to sixty just as fast as Nick had—and it felt a-fucking-mazing as it rubbed up against his.

  A little too good, actually, for where they were.

  The bigger part of his brain—the part that felt intoxicated by the taste of the man in his arms—urged him to ignore that fact, but Nick couldn’t. He stopped, resting his forehead against Jeremy’s while he tried to catch his breath.

  “Oh my God,” Jeremy whispered, his voice practically thrumming with excitement. “You actually did it. You kissed me.”

  He touched a finger to his lips with a look of sheer delight. They were wet and swollen and tempting as hell, and when J beamed at him, it was like he was lit up from the inside, everything he was feeling shining forth like a neon sign. It took everything Nick had not to kiss him again. And with his usual utter transparency, the expression on Jeremy’s face let Nick know that J had seen right through him.