Beautiful Mess (Sinners High book 1)

by Melody Adams

  "Abby," Kent growled, obsessively thrusting into me. "Fuck, Abbygirl. Fuuuuck. Come! Come with me, baby!"

  I saw stars when I exploded around Kent's cock. His muscular shoulder muffled my scream. Kent grunted as he poured himself into me in hot streams.

  two weeks later

  The party was in full swing, but all I could think of was that I wanted to get out of here with Kent. I wanted him always and everywhere. Slowly, I understood Bonnie. I definitely had to have a nympho slumbering inside of me, too. Kent had awakened her. Now my inner slut just wouldn't give it a rest.

  The music suddenly stopped and the screen, which had been showing music videos, turned black. The people on the dance floor stopped, some booed. Then the screen came to life again, but instead of a music video, a different video appeared. Kent stiffened under me and my heart stopped. What the hell was that? Some people gasped in shock, others started laughing or whistling. All the blood rushed from my face as I turned pale and an unbelieving whimper came over my lips. Horrified, I stared at what happened on the screen.

  "Hey Abby, what do you want for a blowjob?" shouted a guy.

  There was laughter and more whistling.

  "Wow! We should crown her Deep Throat Queen," shouted another.

  Female voices said things like "bitch" "whore" and some other unpleasant things. I was paralyzed. I remembered the scene from the video only too well. It had been one of the best moments of my life and someone had stolen that moment. My heart raced and my stomach turned with mortification. Why didn't Kent do something? Why didn't he say anything? Damnit, why didn't he stop this?

  Kent

  I was paralyzed with shock. I hardly heard the dirty comments of the other boys. Or the nasty names the girls called Abby. I wanted to yell, to stop this madness, but I couldn't get a word out of my mouth. I thought the guys destroyed the video, as they‘d promised. Which one of them would betray me like that? They knew what Abby meant to me. They were my friends, damn it! How could they do this to me? The scene on the screen was the moment I realized that I’d fallen in love with Abby. She meant everything to me. She was my world. Damnit! She was the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. But I doubted she’d still want me when she found out the truth behind that damn video. I had to stop this! Fuck!

  My hand was buried in Abby's hair as I slowly and deeply pushed into her mouth. She looked up at me from her beautiful dark eyes.

  "You like that, Abbygirl? My dick deep in your throat, hmm?"

  "Hmmmm," she replied, unable to form words with my cock in her mouth. I moaned as the sounds made her throat vibrate.

  "Fuck. You're killing me, Abbygirl."

  I pulled my cock out of her mouth and teased her by rubbing my acorn over her lips without giving her what she wanted. She sulked, and I had to laugh.

  "Ask me, Abbygirl. What do you want, huh?"

  No! No! No! I had to stop this. I pushed Abby off my lap and jumped up.

  "Stop this crap!" I yelled. "NOW! – STOOOPP!"

  "You, Kent. I want your cock. Please?"

  "Are you mine, Abbygirl?"

  "Yes, I'm yours. I-I love you!"

  Catcalls and laughter filled the room. Someone finally stopped the damn video, but it was already too late. The damage was done. I didn't dare turn back to Abby. I didn’t want to see the pain and betrayal in her beautiful eyes.

  "Hey, Sullander!" Evan Winterfield shouted. "You owe me a hundred bucks! I won. I told you, if anybody can make a girl say those three words, it's Kent, the stallion!"

  "Hey, nice work, Webster," Evan said, patting me on the back.

  I saw red. I pulled out and planted my fist right into his grinning face. Screams rang out as Evan went down and I pounced on him. I beat him like a man possessed. Hands reached out for me, trying to pull me off of him. When they succeeded, Evans was already unconscious. I felt no remorse, only incomprehensible rage. With a roar, I raged in the grip of Nate, Ian and Gregory. I stared at the couch where Abby and I had been sitting. No sign of Abby. Panic tied my throat.

  "Where is she?" I screamed out of my mind. "Where's Abby? – ABBYYYYY!"

  "She's gone!" Nate said calmly. "She ran."

  "Seth run after her," Gregory objected. "He's going to drive her home."

  "Let go of me! I have to go after her. I have to..."

  "She wouldn't listen to you now, anyway," Nate objected. "She needs time to cool off. And you're way too pumped up to have a decent conversation with her."

  "Who?" I growled. "Who played the video? You promised to destroy it!"

  "We did," Nate assured me. "I swear on my life, bro. We destroyed it."

  "How is it possible that the damn video just played?" I asked, beside me with rage.

  "I don't know," Nate said between clenched teeth. "But I have my suspicions."

  "BETH!" I growled.

  Nate nodded.

  "I'll kill her! If she's behind this, then God help her – I'll kill the damn bitch!"

  Chapter 17

  Abby

  I ran out of the house, sobbing. Tears blurred my vision, and I stumbled several times, running almost blind. I didn’t know where to go. It was quite a distance to run home. On foot, it would probably take me two hours. But I didn’t care. Even the rain that soaked me didn’t matter. I was numb anyway. My heart felt like a single raw wound.

  "Abby!" an agitated voice sounded behind me, and quick steps followed me on the asphalt. "Abby. Wait!"

  I did not stop. I stumbled on blindly until strong fingers closed around my upper arm and brought me to an abrupt stop. Seth spun me around. The tears in my eyes blurred my vision.

  "Let me go, Seth," I sobbed. "I... I can... can't..."

  "Abby," said Seth with desperation and worry in his voice. "You can't walk home alone. And it's way too far. I only had a little to drink. I'm sober enough to drive. Come! I'll take you home."

  "It... It hurts..."

  "I know, Abby. I know," Seth said compassionately as I collapsed. He held me tightly against him and I sobbed on his broad chest. "Give Kent a chance to explain what really happened. It's not..."

  "NO!" I interrupted him sharply, writhing out of his arms. "I don't... don't want to talk about it. If you'll give me a ride home, then you have to swear that... that you'll... that we won't talk about what... what happened."

  "Abby, I really think you should..." He broke off when I broke away from him to run off again. "Okay!" he yelled after me. "I swear. Not a word about what happened."

  I stopped and turned to him. The hysteria and pain had given way to a soothing numbness. Slowly, I went back to Seth and followed him to his car. The drive to my aunt's house was silent. A few times Seth opened his mouth to say something before he bit his tongue, stopping whatever he had wanted to say. When he stopped in front of the house, his hand covered mine. I looked at him. He seemed worried.

  "Are you sure you're okay? Do you want me to come inside for a while?"

  "That's unnecessary," I said. "I'm fine."

  Seth seemed unsure, like he couldn't decide whether or not to believe me. Then he sighed and nodded.

  "I'll see you tomorrow. And then we'll talk, okay?"

  I just nodded and unbuckled. After I got out and closed the door, I gave him a pained smile and turned away. The black clouds inside me closed in as I walked toward the house. When I entered the foyer, the clouds already enveloped me like a blanket that threatened to suffocate me. Aunt Claire was already asleep and Beth was probably not back yet. Like a robot, I climbed the stairs and went to my room. All I could think of was that damn video. Kent had known about it. He’d known there was a damn camera recording us in such an intimate situation. How many times? How many times had we been filmed? How many videos were already going around? Half the school had been at the party. They all saw me blowing Kent. How I confessed my love to him. Who else was involved in this? All KINGS? I sobbed as I dropped onto my bed. I had started to consider the boys as my friends. And since Nate broke up with B
eth, I had been the only girl in the group. I’d been happy. And so in love. – Everything had been a lie. God! I was so pathetic! Kent and the boys played me for a fool. Lured me into their trap and made me the laughingstock of the entire school. How would I ever go back to school? I couldn't face them. To bear the ridicule of the others would be bad enough. But to face Kent? The boy I had given my heart against my better judgment, only to kick it into the dust? I could not go on like this.

  The darkness that enveloped me became suffocating. The pressure on my chest felt like the weight of a heavy concrete slab. My scars itched like crazy. I pulled myself up and staggered into the bathroom. Shaky and half blind with tears, it took me an eternity to get the razor blade out of the toilet bag. The contents of the bag spilled all over the floor. The compact broke open and the powder spread on the tiles, mixing with the perfume and the shards of the broken perfume bottle. I ignored the mess, as well as the glass cutting into the soles of my feet. My knees were too weak to carry my weight any longer, so I let myself sink to the floor. When I made the first cut, I cried out in agony. The blood flowed, but relief did not come. Deeper. I needed to cut deeper. I pressed the blade into the skin again. Deeper. Tears blurred my vision as I waited desperately for the pain inside me to finally flow out with the blood. But this time it just wouldn't work. No endorphins. No euphoria. No relief. Only pain. So much pain. I screamed like a wounded animal as I attacked my thighs with the blade. Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut! Blood made my thighs slippery, and I slipped off several times. Frustrated tears burned in my eyes as I stared at my forearms. I should put an end to this pain once and for all. Two cuts. I would see Mom again. And I would never again have to look into the face of the boy who had destroyed me for good. Two cuts. My hand trembled when I put the blade to my wrist.

  I'm coming, Mom! I'm coming.

  Kent

  The guys kept me at the party for two hours, poured water into me and forced me to smoke two joints before they believed me I would not commit murder. Ian had driven Beth home because I wasn't sure if I could control myself when facing the lying bitch. The lie leading us to start the revenge on Abby had been enough to make me want to wring her neck, but this was the straw that broke the camel's back.

  "Okay, you can go," Nate said. "But we'll order you an Uber. You're in no condition to drive."

  "I'm sober enough," I said.

  "You may be half sober again," Nate agreed. "...but now you're high and your emotional state is – not the best right now. No discussion. Uber! Or you can stay here until one of us can drive you. I don't know how much longer we have to wait to find out everything we need to know."

  All those present at the party had been forbidden to leave the house. Gregory was interviewing them one by one. Gregory with his connection to the Russian mob was the best man for the job.

  Nate's cell phone rang, and he took the call. His face became serious, and I saw how his gaze went to me briefly, worried. What the hell was going on? My stomach turned, and I clenched my fists. I opened my mouth to ask Nate, but he raised a hand. When he finished the conversation, he gave a nod to Seth, who was standing behind me. I growled and turned to Seth, but he had already grabbed me and together with Nate they forced me to the floor.

  "What the FUCK?" I yelled.

  Gregory, who was doing the interrogations in the back of the room, came rushing over and the three of them got me on a chair and tied me up with duct tape. I behaved like a madman and cursed my friends. Fuck friends! Traitors. I had no idea what was going on, but I would kill them all.

  "I'll explain everything when you calm down," Nate said.

  "Why? Why are you tying me to a fucking chair? What the fuck is going on here?"

  "A necessary precaution," Nate replied, panting. "Sorry, dawg, but I can't let you freak out and do something you'll regret later. If you shut up now, I'll tell you everything."

  "Screw you, Nate," I growled. "Speak up!"

  Nate took a deep breath.

  "That was Ian on the phone. He brought Beth home and... and there was an ambulance at the front door."

  Nausea made my stomach turn. The blood roared in my veins. Abby! No! No! No! Not Abby! Please, not Abby! I felt like I was exploding from the inside out. The blood in my veins turned to acid.

  "ABBY!" I cried out in panic. "WHAT'S WRONG WITH HER? IS SHE...?"

  "She's on her way to the hospital," Nate explained. "She... she slit her wrists."

  I felt like someone had ripped the ground from under my feet. Abby. My Abby. She tried to kill herself and it was all my fault. I never should have agreed to make that damn video. I should have realized then that she meant more to me. Fuck, I should have believed her when she said she didn't hurt Beth. I shouldn't have let her be alone after the catastrophic evening tonight. Damn it! Why didn't Seth stay with her? Why didn't the guys let me go after her?

  I roared like a berserk. I'd get the fucking tape off and then blood would be spilled. My vision turned red. If Abby died, Sinners Field would turn into a battlefield. The guys held me down, prevented me from breaking free. Gregory cursed when I head butted him.

  "Dawg, you got to get your shit together," Nate said. "In this state, you are no help to Abby. That's why we tied you up. We are going to the hospital. But only if I'm sure you're not going to go ballistic."

  Abby

  Beep. Beep. Beep. The monotonous beeping penetrated my skull like a damn drill. What was that? And why did my brain feel so cloudy? Did I drink too much? I couldn't remember. Fuck! If the fucking beeping didn't stop soon, my skull would explode. A curse was on my lips, but no sound came out. My mouth felt like the Sahara. My throat was rough like sandpaper. Damn, that was the worst hangover I’d ever had. I would never touch a drop of alcohol again.

  "Abigail? – Can you hear me, honey?"

  Huh? Who was that? And why did she call me Abigail? No one called me by my full name. Not even the teachers. I tried to open my eyes, but someone must have glued my damn eyelids shut with super glue. The damn things just wouldn't move. I moaned as the effort caused an explosion of pain in my poor skull.

  "Abigail," the voice said again. "I know you are awake. I'm going to open your eyes now, so don't be scared, okay? It's all right, honey. I'm gonna touch you now. It's all right."

  I felt a touch on my cheek and flinched despite the warning. A finger lay on my right eyelid and pushed it up. A bright light shone directly into my eye. Behind the light, I saw the blurred face of a woman with dark hair. She seemed hold a small flashlight in her hand, which she let shine into my eye. What the hell? The finger from my eyelid disappeared and my eye closed again before the dark-haired woman repeated the same procedure on my other eye.

  I was relieved when the damn procedure was finally over. The light had felt as if someone had stuck a damn needle in my eye. I tried again to open my eyes, and this time it worked. My vision was still a little blurry, but I realized that the woman above me wore a doctor's coat and I was lying in a hospital room. I tried to remember what had happened. Why I was lying here in the hospital.

  "Whaa...," I croaked, but it turned out to be too difficult to speak.

  "Shhh. Try not to speak," said the doctor. "I'll give you something to drink. Afterwards your throat will feel better. Okay?"

  I nodded weakly. The doctor disappeared from my field of vision and came back with a cup a little later. A straw was stuck in the cup and she brought it to my lips. I noticed that there was at least one other person in the room, but she was outside my field of vision. Another doctor? A nurse? Or a visitor? I sucked on the straw and cool water filled my mouth and ran down my throat. It felt so good.

  "That's enough for now," said the doctor, took the cup away and handed it to the second person who had now come closer. It was a nurse. The nurse put the cup on a bedside table and then fiddled with my bed until the headboard slowly lifted. She stopped when I was sitting halfway up.

  "Better, sweetheart?" she asked, and I nodded.

  My gaze went back to t
he doctor.

  "I am Dr. Walder. Your attending doctor," she said, smiling at me. "Do you know why you are here?"

  I shook my head.

  "It is normal if you are still a little confused. This will slowly subside. You were brought in with slit wrists. You lost a lot of blood, Abigail. During your treatment we have found that it was not the first time. And we also noticed the other cuts. Your aunt has given us a short summary of your circumstances, and I think that you should go to a professional institution for a while where you can get help."

  My heart thudded. I’d tried to kill myself. Yes, the doctor was right. It wasn't the first time. The memory of what caused me to slit my wrists for the second time slowly came back. Dr. Walder took my hand and squeezed it slightly. Her words floated around in my head. What did she mean by professional institution? Was she going to put me in a nuthouse? – Without me! I looked at her insistently and shook my head wildly.

  "After an attempted suicide, psychological care is mandatory. Normally this would mean having several sessions with one of our in-house psychologists. But in your case, I think that more is required than just a few sessions." She looked at me from gentle brown eyes. "You need help, honey."

  Tears welled up from my eyes as I shook my head more violently. I didn't want to talk to anyone about these things. And I didn't want to go to a fucking nuthouse where they'd probably pump me full of drugs. Who knew if they would ever let me go again? I knew a few people who would be only too happy to see that. Bethany, the fucking bitch. Even my aunt would probably be happy to be rid of me. And then there was... My heart seized up. Kent. His betrayal hurt the most. I should never have trusted him. Not after everything he had already done to me. How could I have been so stupid? So fucking naïve? I closed my eyes when the pain hit me. My entire body trembled as I sobbed violently. I heard the voices of Dr. Walder and the nurse in the background, but the meaning of their words didn’t reach me. There was a sting in my arm and a slight burning sensation, but even that did not really sink in. I was too focused on how the pain that had led me to slit my wrists came back with double the force. I saw the video on the screen, heard the comments of the others, felt the pain when I realized that Kent had used me. That he had played a lousy game with me. His feelings for me had never been real. It was just another form of torture he could use to break me. As if he hadn't broken me enough before. No. He had to take advantage of this strange attraction between us and distort it into something ugly, grotesque.