by Brie Paisley
The faster those fingers work me over, the faster my orgasm threatens to break me apart. Lost in the passion, I don’t try to stop it. “Caleb, I’m goin’ to come,” I cry out, as his fingers hit my favorite spot.
“Let me watch you come,” he demands, and I’m a prisoner to him. I can’t deny him, and I lean back, as my orgasm comes crashing through me. Holding his gaze, I let the pleasure rush through me. “Fuck, yeah, Bet. You feel so good.” Hearing his dirty talk, it makes me come harder. Caleb lets me ride out the waves, and those fingers slowly stop their thrusting.
Once my orgasm finishes, his fingers leave me, and he pulls me in for a kiss. While he kisses me with a passion, that I didn’t know he had in him, he carefully moves me, so that I’m lying underneath him. With him in between my legs, I break our kiss to unbutton his jeans. Caleb is quick to help, as if he can’t control himself anymore. His pants barely make it down to his knees, before he’s back at my mouth, diving in deep with his tongue.
My hands roam up and down his back, loving the feel of him. He’s perfectly sculpted, not too hard, but also, not too soft. With his wide shoulders, his body covers me completely, but I don’t mind one bit being consumed. Running my hand down his side, I slide my hand to his abs, enjoying when his stomach jumps at my touch. Breaking our kiss, I use my other hand to cup his cheek, and say, “Now, Caleb. Take me now.”
Lust filled eyes hold mine, as he nods, reaching down to guide himself inside me. As he slowly slides in, his eyes close, as his jaw clenches. A groan leaves him, and I raise my hips, making him thrust in all the way. He instantly stills, and I feel myself pulse around him. “Fuck, Bet. You … fuck,” he says, and I know he’s trying not to come. I instantly smirk because I like knowing he’s trying to hold onto some sort of control. I like knowing it’s a struggle for him not to come undone because of me. Reaching down, I grab onto his ass, as I move my hips. It makes him slide in deeper, and thrust in at the same time. His eyes instantly open, behind his black rimmed glasses, as he says, “You’re not playin’ fair.”
“Move, Caleb. Please,” I ask, or more like beg.
And move he does. That first thrust is so slow and hits me so deep, it makes my eyes roll into the back of my head. Then, he does it again.
And again.
Just like before, he starts slowly, as if he’s finding his own pace and figuring out what he and I like best. Once he finds his pace, it’s not long, before his hand is caressing my face, making me gaze at him. My chest fills with so much emotion that it takes my breath away, but I don’t dare look away. Even if I know whatever this is, is too much to fully acknowledge, I can’t break his gaze. At the same time, his thrusts turn quick, and it’s as if a dam has broken. All I can do is hold on, as he fucks me how I like.
“Please, tell me you’re close again, cause’ I’m barely holdin’ on,” he confesses, and suddenly, I’m ready to come again. “Let me feel you come, Bet. I want to feel you like this.”
“Oh, fuck,” I cry out, as a wave of uncontrollable pleasure races through me. As my orgasm flows through me, I notice Caleb thrust once more, before he fully pulls out of me.
Hot fluid hits my stomach, and I look at his face, as he finally lets himself go completely. God, he’s so stunning, as he comes, and I find myself unable to look away. After a few moments, his eyes open, and those brown eyes meet mine. His grin is so wide that I smile right along with him. After he leans down to kiss me once, he pushes up his glasses, and then looks down at my stomach. “Sorry for the mess. I wasn’t sure … you know, uh. I didn’t know if it was okay to … come in you or not.”
Letting out a chuckle, I say, “It’s okay. I’m not on the pill, so next time, we’ll use a condom, okay.” His innocence is surprisingly sexy, and I find I can’t wait to experience more with him.
“Right. That is a good idea,” he agrees, and reaches down to grab his shirt. He takes his time cleaning me, and then makes sure to get all of it off me. “I didn’t plan this very well,” he says with a laugh.
“It’s really alright, Caleb. Well, now your shirt is all gross, so I hope you’re okay with tryin’ to fit into one of mine.”
My joke does what it’s supposed to, and Caleb is laughing now, instead of worrying. “I don’t think that’s gonna work. Maybe, I can just wash it instead?” Nodding, I get off the couch and quickly get dressed. After I put his shirt in the washer, he and I take up residence on the couch once more. His arm is instantly around me, pulling me in close, and suddenly, my stomach drops. Thinking about what we just did, I try my hardest not to replay it in my mind. But hearing him tell me he loves me, followed by me taking his virginity, it makes my heart pound.
“Hey, are you okay?”
Swallowing down the lump in my throat, I turn to him. “Yeah, I’m perfect.” The thing is, I’m far from perfect. Inside, I’m freaking the fuck out. If he’s in love with me, and yes, it’s hard for me to accept that, because why would he love me? How could he love me? How could he give his virginity to me, when he barely knows me?
Fuck me, this is bad.
I cannot let myself think about this anymore, because the more I think about his feelings, the more I think about mine. And the more I think about mine, the more I want to shut it all down.
I can’t fall for him, just for him to turn around and leave me.
That’s what happens with everyone around me.
In the end, they all leave.
The tingling in my arm wakes me up, and I stop myself from moving, as I fully come awake. Seeing Bethany, laying on my arm, makes my heart swell with so much love, and my breath catches for a moment. Last night, was unlike anything I ever expected to happen, when I rushed over. Honestly, I just needed to see her. I just needed someone to talk to more than anything, but the moment I saw her, everything just came out of me. I’m still shocked I admitted I love her. Although, she still doesn’t know how long I’ve been in love with her. Either way, I don’t regret anything that happened between us. Yes, the fight Caden and I had wasn’t what I wanted to happen, but it led me to Bethany, so I’m chalking it up to it happened for a reason.
Smiling, I brush her hair out of her face, as I continue to watch her sleep. It’s surreal knowing I lost my virginity to the woman I’ve been in love with for the past six years. I guess, Clark was right about his advice. It did mean more to me knowing how I feel about her. Granted, I don’t know where she stands, but I don’t want to pressure her. When she’s ready, she’ll tell me, and I know that for a fact. Bethany isn’t the type to spill all her thoughts, unless she wants to. I caught on to that, as we talked for hours, after finishing up a couple of seasons of her favorite show. She did confess, after four in the morning, that she didn’t want to be left alone, and I couldn’t say no.
I get the feeling she’s lonely a lot.
When I asked her where her mom was, I didn’t get a straight answer. I’m assuming her mom is still with that guy she’s dating, and it makes me angry that she leaves her alone so much. Yes, she’s a grown woman, but she’s also like me. We’re both outcasts, but yet, we want to be included. I know that’s why I’ve been clinging to her so much. She gets me, and I get her. We just fit, like we’re meant for one another.
As Bethany stirs in her sleep, I try not to wake her, as I move my arm out from under her head. Unfortunately, I end up waking her anyway. “Mornin’,” she says huskily.
“How’d you sleep?”
She stretches, and I tell my cock to behave. We only had sex one time, since we both agreed it would be safer to use condoms. And as neither of us had any, we talked instead. Trust me, I wanted to learn more and do everything in my power to watch her come again, but I wanted to feel closer to her on a different level. Not just through sex. “I slept great.” Ignoring my numb, but tingling arm, I watch her, as she sits up and rubs her face. “What time is it?”
Reaching over, I hit the middle button on her phone to see the time. “Ah, it’s after twelve.”
“Shit!” S
he says loudly, jumping off the bed. Frowning, I start to ask what’s wrong, when she says, “I’m late for work!”
“Fuck.” Getting off the bed, I quickly find my pants and shoes. Knowing she’s going to rush out of here, I at least want to be ready for a decent goodbye.
A few moments later, I glance up, seeing her walking out of her bathroom. Her hair is up in a big messy bun, while her toothbrush is hanging out of her mouth. A bit of toothpaste is even on her chin, but I stop dead in my tracks, as I see her.
“What? What’s wrong? Do I have somethin’ on my face?”
Smirking, I make my way to her, and then use my fingers to wipe off the toothpaste. “You know you’re fuckin’ gorgeous, right?”
Her face flushes, and I get the feeling she wishes we had more time. Oh, and condoms. “You’re just bein’ nice.”
“No, I’m not, and you know it,” I say, as I tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “You will always be the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”
Those amber eyes glance away, and I frown, as she says, “I … I’m gonna be late.” Once she meets my gaze again, I start to ask her what’s going on here. I feel as if she’s pulling away, but that’s crazy. “I’ll text you later, okay?”
Nodding, I lean down, leaving a kiss on her forehead. After a sigh from Bethany, she turns and walks out of the room, leaving me standing there wondering what I said that was so wrong.
Knocking on Clark’s door, I glance down, thinking maybe I should’ve went home first. Hoping he doesn’t notice my clothes are from last night, I wait for a moment, before he answers the door. “Rough night?” He asks, as he raises an eyebrow.
“Why do you ask?”
He shrugs, as he says, “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe, because you look like someone just took a baseball bat to your favorite computer.” Walking in, as he opens the door wider, he adds, “Or maybe, because you’re still wearin’ what you had on last night.” I don’t look back. I head straight to the couch, sit down, and bring my hands to my face. Glancing up, as the door shuts, Clark asks, “Did you go home last night?”
He wouldn’t know, since I left in such a hurry. After Caden and I got into it, I rushed out, with one destination in my mind. “No, I didn’t go home.” When both his eyebrows raise, and he stares at me, I know he’s wanting more of an explanation. “After that shit with Caden, I went … somewhere that’s not up for discussion.”
“Alright, then. I didn’t say you had to tell me. I just want to be sure you’re doin’ fine. Caden can be a prick, so I get it.”
Not being able to be honest with my brother doesn’t feel right, but I’m respecting Bethany’s privacy. Maybe, I can get her to be more open about us. “I’m fine.” Pushing out a breath, I realize that I’m not fine. “Okay. It’s not sittin’ right with me that Caden and I are on the outs. Sure, we fight, because we’re brothers, and that’s what we do, but I fucked up big time, Clark. I shouldn’t have outed him like that.”
“Here’s the way I see it,” he starts, as he walks over, taking a seat beside me. “Caden knew what he was doin’, so in my mind, it’s all on him. He shouldn’t have been fuckin’ with you either. None of us like that dumbass nickname anyway, but I think y’all should talk it out, fix shit, and move on. Plain and simple.”
“Knowin’ him, he’ll just be a dick,” I deadpan.
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”
“What do you mean?” The look Clark gives me makes my stomach clench with guilt. Whatever he’s about to say isn’t going to be good.
“After you took off, thanks for dustin’ me out by the way, Caden ran after Savannah, they fought, and Cason took her home. Last I heard, Caden was supposed to be crashin’ here, but I haven’t seen him yet.”
“Wait a minute. You’re tellin’ me that Cas left with Caden’s girl?” What the hell happened, after I left last night?
“It wasn’t like that,” Clark explains. “Cas likes Savannah like a sister, so he’s protective of her. Makes sense, right? They all live together, so it’s like they’re their own family of sorts. Long story short, Caden is hurtin’, too. I’m sure if given the chance, he’d apologize.”
“Well, now I just feel like an asshole,” I mutter.
Clark slaps me on the back, saying, “Don’t do that, Caleb. Caden will get his shit together, and they’ll be happy or some shit.” Nodding, I hope that’s true. I’d hate to be the one that ruined Caden’s chances with the girl of his dreams. Lord knows I would be tore up about it, if it had been Bethany and I. “So, I’ve gotta ask,” Clark starts, and I look at him, as he asks, “You stay with the girl you’re seein’ last night?” My heart starts to race, thinking he knows about Bethany and I. “Makes sense to me, that you’d want to be with whoever you’re seein’. Plus, why else would you still be wearin’ the same shirt, as last night.” Holding up his hands, he claims, “And no, I don’t know who she is, and I don’t wanna know, unless you want to tell me.”
“Yeah. I was with my girl last night,” I confess, and I feel a weight being lifted off me. No, I haven’t fully come out and told my family who I’m dating, but it feels good to get some of it off my chest.
“I figured so. Want some brotherly advice?”
Leaning back against the couch, I utter, “Sure. Why not.”
“Tell Mama. And soon.” Letting my head fall back, I groan. “Look, I’m not sayin’ go tell her now, but you should soon. She knows somethin’ is up.”
“Is it that obvious?”
“Yeah,” he says with a chuckle. “You’re never home anymore, so hell yes, Mama is goin’ to notice that.”
“Crap.” Running a hand through my hair, I glance over at Clark. “The thing is, my girl, she’s not ready to come out publicly.”
“My advice,” he starts, as he gets up. “Make her ready because we both know it’s goin’ to come out sooner or later. And if it’s later, Mama might not let you live long. And if you keep makin’ me be like Dr.Phil, I’m goin’ to start chargin’ fees.”
Laughing, a part of me knows he’s right, and the other knows he’s joking. “I’ll figure somethin’ out. God forbid, Mama takes out that friggin’ whoopin’ spoon.”
Clark nods, adding, “Yeah. Fuck that thing. I always wanted Caden to steal it and burn it.”
“Too bad he’s not brave enough,” I joke.
“We’re all a bunch of pussies, when it comes to that fuckin’ spoon.” Watching Clark, he makes his way over to the kitchen. Hearing the fridge open then shut, I raise my eyebrows, as he walks back over with a beer. “What? Did you want one?”
“Uh, no, thanks. It’s um, kind of early for me to be drinkin’.” Unsure of how to go about asking what I want, I mull over the question, burning in my mind for a while, before finally asking, “Are you alright, Clark? I’m bein’ serious, too.”
He gazes at the TV, but it’s like he’s not even here. Plus, the damn thing isn’t even on. “I’m gettin’ there.” Glancing away, I wish I knew what to do to make things better for him. “I’ve been seein’ a therapist,” he says, and I jerk my gaze back to him. Not wanting him to stop talking, I hold my breath for a moment. “He’s the real deal, I guess. Not sure about him though, but I’ll figure it out.” Letting out a breath, I hope to God that’s true.
I pray every night that my brother finds the help he needs. I don’t know what I would do if anything ever happened to him …
Sitting at the long desk, close to the front counter, I lean back, stretching out my shoulders. Theo and his wife left a few hours ago after I arrived, so I’ve been passing the time drawing. I’m sure the shop will get busy in a few hours, but it’s still pretty early. After rushing to get here on time, it seemed pointless once I got here. Theo and his wife will be back later tonight, and I’ll admit, I’m kind of glad. Maybe, I’ll finally be able to tattoo more. Maybe, this will be my chance to prove I’ve got what it takes to get my own chair.
Popping my neck, I glance down at my drawing, deciding if
I like it or not. Ever since Caleb and I started whatever we’re doing, I’ve been working on this piece. A part of me hopes one day he’ll let me tattoo him, and it would be amazing to have my drawing on some part of his body. But knowing I’m drawing this for him, it has to be absolutely perfect. Leaning back down, I erase a line I just drew, thinking it needs something more.
Getting lost in my drawing, I try not to think about things between Caleb and me. This morning I sort of freaked out, seeing the love in his eyes. It terrifies me that I can see his love for me, and it scares me that I’m not good enough for that love. Caleb is an amazing guy, and I know I’m lucky that we ever became friends. If I’m being honest with myself, I’m fucking scared of what I’m feeling. I’ve never felt such strong feelings for a guy like this before.
It blows what I thought I felt for Carter out of the water.
Maybe, I never loved Carter, like I thought?
All I do know is, when I’m with Caleb, my world feels complete. The hole in my heart is full, and the sense of loneliness isn’t present. With him, I can be myself and not have to worry about being someone else, or even try to be perfect. He brings out something in me that I’d forgotten was there, before my life was destroyed by my family. Caleb is the one person that I want to confess all my sins to, and the one person that I want to confide in the most. Knowing this, it’s scary as hell, because I’ve never, not once, wanted to open myself up fully to someone else. After all the shit with my parents, it broke a piece of me, leaving me questioning everyone else around me. How could I ever trust someone else with my heart, knowing how my dad cheated on my mom? How could I ever open up to someone else, when my mom is never around to listen to me?
