by Brie Paisley
Understanding what she wants, I say, “Deal. Nothin’ changes, but us, right?”
“Yeah,” she answers with a small smile.
Grinning widely, I pull her in for a tight hug. She grabs me just as tight, and I know I didn’t fuck this up, like I thought I would. Yeah, this is brand spanking new, but I have a feeling we’ll figure it out in due time. Pulling back, I grin, as a thought hits me. “Where is your mom?”
“Oh,” she says, as she looks away. “She’s in Vegas with her boyfriend.”
Hearing the sadness in her voice, I ask, “Wanna go for a drive? I feel like burnin’ some gas tonight.” Her smile gives me an answer, and I grab her hand, leading her out of the house.
Driving with the windows down, “Dirt Road Anthem” by Jason Aldean plays loudly, as Bethany sings along. Shifting gears, I put it in sixth, and take a turn easily. I remember doing this so many times in high school. There’s nothing like having the windows down, music up loud, and riding down back roads.
It’s even more special now, because I have the girl of my dreams, right beside me. Her hair blows all around her face, but she doesn’t try to contain it. If anything, she looks wild and … free. Glancing over to her, my heart skips a beat, as she turns to me, hitting those high notes and smiles. And then, my heart belongs to her, as she reaches for my hand on the gear shift.
Yeah, it’s simple and such a small gesture, but that’s all it takes apparently.
I will the three minute and forty-nine second song to last forever. I will time to just stop, but knowing I can’t, I know I’ll remember this moment forever instead. Bethany turns back towards the open window, as the song sadly comes to an end, and I let my gaze focus on the road ahead of me. As I drive, I know without a doubt that there will never be anyone else for me after tonight. Bethany has stolen my heart, and she doesn’t even know it.
But that’s alright. In time, I’ll tell her how deep my feelings run.
Parking the truck, Bethany and I get out, making our way towards the back. Letting down the tailgate, we both take a seat. “I forgot your family owns this,” Bethany says, as she stares out towards the lake. My dad bought this piece of land, when we were kids, and way before I was born.
“We don’t come out here as much, since we’re all grown.” I remember coming out to the lake, fishing poles in hand, just having a good time. Now, I’m not sure if my brothers come out here at all. I thought it would be a good spot for Bethany and me to hangout, instead of our usual hotel room. Plus, it’s cheaper. “It’s peaceful out here.”
“I’ve got to ask,” she begins, as I turn towards her, giving her my full attention. “Are you sure this is a good idea? You and I, I mean.”
“Havin’ doubts already?” I ask with a smile.
She shakes her head, but I see her smiling. “It’s just … I’m worried, I guess. I don’t want anythin’ to come between our friendship.”
Taking her hand in mine, I say, “I don’t see why we can’t just try, right? Will you give me that?” I’m not sure what else I can say to change her mind, so I’m going to give her time to decide what she really wants.
“Yeah, I’ll try,” she says softly, moving closer to me.
Putting an arm around her, I hold her tightly. I’m still in surreal land that she’s here and agreed to give us a try. That’s all I can ask for. Rubbing my hand up and down her arm, my mind drifts back to my conversation with Clark, especially with him asking if I was a virgin. Honestly, I have no clue what I’m doing. I’m going off instinct here, but maybe, I should tell Bethany, so she’ll understand I’m not experienced at all in relationships. “I need to tell you somethin’, Bet.”
“What? You change your mind about me already?” She asks, but I know she’s joking by the tone of her voice.
“No. I don’t think I’ll ever change my mind about you.” With her wide eyes, I cup her cheek. “But there is somethin’ you need to know, because I’m lost, when it comes to relationships.” She gazes at me, patiently waiting for me to finish. Taking in a deep breath, I rush out, “I’m a virgin.”
She frowns, as she asks, “What?”
Pushing up my glasses, I’ve never been so happy for darkness. Even in the moonlight, I know she can’t see how red my face is. Fuck, why is this so embarrassing to talk about? “Uh, yeah. You heard me right.” Dropping my hand from her face, I run it through my hair. “It just never happened for me, I guess.”
“Well, I … I … wow. I’m totally speechless here.” We both begin to laugh, and I’m glad this conversation isn’t awkward or anything. “I did not expect you to say that,” Bethany claims.
“Yeah, me either,” I say sarcastically. “I just figured you should know, in case we, uh, not that I’m expectin’ anythin’. I just … ah fuck. This isn’t comin’ out right.”
She takes that moment to jump up, and I fear I’ve really fucked up. What kind of girl wants to hear that her new boyfriend is a virgin? Especially one that’s twenty-four years old, but Bethany shocks me, as she wraps her arms around my neck, standing in between my legs, and then whispers, “I think it’s sexy you’re still a virgin.”
Swallowing hard, I ask in a husky voice, “Yeah?”
“Oh, yeah.” Raising her hand, she uses her fingers, running them through my hair, and I close my eyes for a second, letting the feel of her touching me take over. “I think when the time is right,” she starts, as she continues to run her fingers through my hair. God, this feels fucking fantastic. Here I am, just confessed to her that I’m a virgin, and yet, she’s showing me so much affection. “We’ll just take it slow, and when it’s time, then we’ll know. There’s no rush, or any reason to feel embarrassed. Hell, I wish I would’ve waited. So, I sort of envy you.”
Grinning, I gaze at the girl of my dreams, as I say, “Thank you for makin’ this easier. I had a hard enough time talkin’ to Clark about it.”
“Wow. Now, that’s impressive. See, that took guts.” Laughing, she’s too right. I took a huge gamble talking to one of my brothers about my sex life. Well, nonexistent sex life. “You made the right choice not askin’ Caden, though.”
We both let out a loud laugh, because we both know Caden would’ve informed the whole state of Mississippi, that I was a virgin. “Yeah. Now, that would’ve been awful.”
“Thank you,” she says suddenly, and the air around us turns serious. “I know you didn’t have to say anythin’, but I’m glad you did. I’m glad you trust me enough to open up.”
Cupping her cheek, I lean in, leaving a tender kiss on her lips. “Always, Bet. Always for you.”
Three Weeks Later
Caleb: Who invented the rabies vaccination?
Shaking my head, I quickly fire back my answer to Caleb.
Me: Louis Pasteur. Come on. Give me a hard one.
Watching the three dots, bouncing with his next question, I lift my eyes to the flat screen. Rick and Morty is playing, but I’ve seen this episode a million times. Which is why I don’t mind texting Caleb back, as soon as his texts come through. He’s over at Carter and Shelby’s tonight, hanging out with the Harlow clan. A part of me wishes I could’ve accepted the invite, when he asked, but sadly, I know I’ll never be welcomed around any of them again. Thankfully, my phone pings with a new message, distracting me from those unwanted thoughts.
Caleb: Which four British cities have underground rail systems?
Oh, damn. Now, that’s one I’m not sure about. It’s our unsaid rule that we’re not allowed to use Google to answer said questions, so I send him a quick text back, letting him know I’m thinking about the answer. He texts back fast, and I laugh, as I read it.
Caleb: No cheating, Bet. I mean it.
Me: As if I would ever do that.
Caleb: You would, if it meant you’d win.
Me: Okay, true, but I won’t cheat, I promise. Now, can I get a minute to think this over? I don’t want to get it wrong.
When I don’t see those three dots bouncing, I figure he’
s letting me think it over. And I do think about the question, but my mind drifts to how things have been going between us, since he confessed he’s a virgin. It was a shock of course, but things have been great lately. We’ve spent a lot of time together or texting back and forth. I’ll admit, I’ve wanted to push for more sexual encounters, but I don’t want to rush it. Knowing Caleb isn’t experienced, doesn’t bother me. It’s just I don’t want to fuck things up for us. I want him more than anything, but the timing hasn’t been right to ask for more. Shaking my head, I focus on the question he asked, and after a moment or two, I think I have the right answer.
Me: Okay, I think I got it. Liverpool, Glasgow, Newcastle, and London.
Smiling, I know he’s going to tell me I’m right, and then send another question. I look up, hearing Rick yelling at Morty about moon men, and I laugh at the scene. For a while, I get lost, watching the show, but then I frown, as I realize it’s been a while, since Caleb texted. Guessing he’s having fun with his family, I don’t think much of it, since I know how things can go with the Harlow boys. One minute, you’re just chilling and talking, and then the next, you’re laughing uncontrollably, and doing something crazy.
Fuck, I miss them.
The ache in my chest makes me want to cry, but I push the emotion down. I’ve mourned the loss already, a year ago as a matter of fact, so I won’t let it drag me down again. Checking my phone, I wonder if something happened to Caleb. It’s not like him not to text back for this long. Trying not to be ‘that girl’, I watch a couple more episodes of Rick and Morty.
Fully lost in the show, I jump and hold back a scream, as someone rings the doorbell. Heart pounding, I quickly get off the couch, making my way to the door. It’s really late, so I’m not sure who would be coming by. I open the door, slowly peeking my head around, and I swing it fully open, when I see him, standing there on the porch. “Hey, Caleb.” He doesn’t utter a word, as he walks inside my home, and I know something is really wrong. “Caleb? What’s wrong? Are you okay?” God, my stomach drops, because this isn’t like him. He seems upset, and his entire body seems tense.
“I’m sorry to barge in here unannounced,” he says, as he paces around my living room.
“It’s cool.” I say, watching him closely, noticing how his hands clench and unclench. “You want to talk about it?” It doesn’t take a genius to see something is clearly bothering him.
“Give me just a minute.” Nodding, I stand still, as he works through whatever is running through his mind. For a moment, I worry whatever is going on has something to do with me, but that’s just my guilty conscience talking. Eventually, I’ll tell him what really happened between Carter and I, but it won’t be tonight. “I’m sorry I never messaged you back,” he says, as he pulls his phone out of his back pocket.
Seeing the shattered screen, I ask, “What happened to it?”
“Caden.” That one word is said with such distain, and I raise my eyebrows shocked to hear that from him. Before I can ask anything else, he explains, “Everyone was havin’ a good time hangin’ out and shootin’ the shit, but then Caden started on me with that dumb ass fuckin’ nickname he gave me.” I lean against the back of the couch, completely ignoring the TV show still playing. I give him my full attention, because whatever happened with Caden tonight wasn’t good. “Anyway, he was just messin’ around, and I just lost it.” A hand runs through his hair, as he finally looks at me. “See, he’s been lyin’ to Savannah about the shit you found out about her mom. Well, not lyin’, but he has been keepin’ it from her, and I basically ratted him out. I didn’t mean, too. I just wanted him to leave me alone, and before that, he took my phone. So, yeah. In the process of us fightin’, it got fucked up.” He pushes out a breath, seeming to calm down, now that he’s venting. “The thing is, it’s been botherin’ me about what he’s been doin’, and I know I’m doin’ the same.”
My stomach drops, as I wonder what he means. “What are you talkin’ about? What Caden did was wrong, but that doesn’t have to be about you. That’s on him for not tellin’ her who her mother is.”
Shaking his head, he claims, “We’ve been lyin’, Bet.” My eyes widen, as what he says rushes through me. “I’m sick of hidin’. I’m sick of havin’ to keep our relationship a secret. I’m fuckin’ sick and tired of not havin’ you over, when I go over to Carter’s house. Or not havin’ you beside me at breakfast at the house. I want everyone in the world to know you’re mine, and I’m yours. Is that so bad?”
My heart races in my chest, because I knew this would happen. “Caleb, I … I just don’t know if I’m ready for that, okay?” No, I’m not fucking ready to face the Harlow family. I’m not ready for Caleb to find out I’m a piece of shit, and I’m definitely not ready for us to end. Yes, it’s selfish to keep him in the dark. It’s also selfish that I’m asking him to continue with the way things are going, but what else can I do? I’m not ready to lose him.
Before I can utter another word, he takes two steps, stopping right in front of me. “Damn it, Bet. I love you, and I want everyone I care about to know that, too.”
“Wh … what?”
Those brown eyes stare at me, daring me to ask him to repeat himself. “You heard me,” he says, and then grabs me by the back of my neck, pulling me to his lips. His kiss is so far from tender and sweet. For the first time, I’m seeing a side of him that I didn’t know existed. He takes my mouth hard, and I can’t do anything, but let him lead. His tongue dives deep inside my mouth, as I fall deeper into him. Our conversation, fight, or whatever we were talking about, goes on the back burner, as he continues to devour me.
I’ll admit, I’m loving this side of him, as he controls the kiss. Especially, when his other hand, slides up my shirt, cupping my breast. Moaning loudly, I use both hands, pulling him closer by his back, loving the feel of him against me. When he pulls away, I start to protest, but instead, my eyes close, as his lips make their way to my neck. Giving him room, my core clenches, wanting him to ease the ache. In the back of my mind, I know I should do something to slow us down, but fuck, this feels too damn good.
So lost in lust, I don’t think a thing about it, when my shirt is pulled over my head. Honestly, I don’t think about anything other than how I want him so badly, as he stares at me with desire in his eyes. “You’re so beautiful,” he claims in a husky voice.
Smirking, I accept his compliment the only way I can. I reach back, unclasping my bra, baring myself to him. Seeing his eyes widen, I ask, “What about now?”
He licks his lips, and then says, “Fuck, Bet.”
Once he finally meets my gaze, I take his hand, leading him to the couch. He sits down hard, per my direction, and I quickly take my spot on his lap. It’s hard to hold back the grin, hearing his breath hitch, or the way those eyes of his end back up on my breasts. “Touch me, Caleb.”
“I … I, uh. Can you show me?” He asks hesitantly, as if his nerves are kicking in. His innocence is really sexy, and I take his hand, showing him what I like. He catches on quickly, and before I realize it, my head is falling back, loving the way he cups me and even pinches my nipples. “Tell me if I’m doin’ it wrong,” he whispers.
My gaze finds his, as I ask in a husky tone, “You’ve never touched a woman’s breasts before?” With a shake of his head, I ask, “Have you done anythin’ sexual before?” I know he told me that he’s a virgin, but there is still oral. Or anything else not involving a cock and a vagina.
“I kissed a girl once,” he admits, and I’m shocked by the surge of jealousy that rushes through me. “I want you to be my first, Bethany. I want you to be my first with everythin’.” He declares, as he pulls me to his mouth. I don’t let myself think about what he just said, because it’s too real. With the way he’s kissing me, and taking over me, I forget about how serious this is for him, and just let our desires come alive.
As his lips travel down my neck, I push my chest into his roaming hands, feeling the surge of wetness in between my legs. W
hen I rotate my hips, we both groan loudly, as the friction gives us what we both want momentarily. All I can do is hold onto his shoulders, using my hands to grip him tightly, as he works my body, unlike anything I’ve ever known before.
“Caleb,” I call out, asking for more, but I know I’m going to have to lead him. Pulling away from him, I stand, holding his gaze, as I do so. His face is flushed, and those lips are swollen from our kisses. Smirking, I find I really like seeing his hair disheveled, and the lust in his eyes makes me bolder than I’ve ever been.
Using both hands, I reach for the button of my shorts. His lips part, knowing what I’m about to do. Slowly unzipping the zipper, I slide them down my legs, taking my panties with them. Standing in front of him, I’m completely bare and ready for him. Fuck, those brown eyes make my entire body flush with need, as he takes me in. Once he meets my gaze again, I climb back on him.
Leaning back some, I grab the bottom of his shirt, slowly pulling it over his head. As soon as the fabric hits the floor, he’s on me, like a man starving, and I’m his full course buffet. My eyes close, as our skin meets, and as one of his hands move to my back, the other slides up my thigh. Holding onto his neck, I arch and rotate my hips, searching for him. “You’re so gorgeous,” he says in my ear, as that hand on my thigh moves inches away from where I want it the most.
“Caleb, please,” I beg. Feeling him grin against my neck, I take charge and grab his hand. Guiding him where I want him, I moan loudly, as he groans, when he touches my aching pussy. After showing him what I like, he takes over, pushing my hand out of his way.
At first, his touch on my clit is reserved, as if he’s getting a handle on what makes me cry out more. But the more I moan, the more he gives me. Riding his hand, I start to lose control, letting the desire completely take over, especially as a finger slips inside. “You like this?” He asks, and all I can do is call out his name in response. With the heel of his hand, he pushes against my clit, and slowly adds another finger with the first. My head falls on his shoulder, as I move my hips with his surprisingly skillful fingers. Caleb works me over, slowly at first, but as I ride his hand harder, his thrusts quicken. It’s as if he’s attuned to me, and instantly knows what I need and crave.
