by Brie Paisley
Running a hand up and down her back, I gaze into her amber eyes. “That wasn’t very nice of you,” I playfully say.
“Don’t be such a baby,” she quickly responds with a smile. Her hand leaves my neck, as she runs her fingers through my hair, pushing it out of my face. “At least, I didn’t get your glasses wet. It’s weird seein’ you without them. You can see me, right?”
“Yes. Rest assured, I can see you perfectly, Bet. Now, if you were far away, you’d be a blur.” Licking my lips, I bring her closer, feeling the warmth of her skin on mine. Fuck. If it were up to me, I’d have her next to me all day, every day. “I see you, Bethany.”
Her breath hitches, as she understands my meaning without having to explain myself. “I see you too, Caleb.” Our gaze holds for a moment, before I lean in, and she meets me for a kiss. It’s slow at first, as if she’s trying to hold back.
But I’m not having that.
Raising my hand, I grab her by the back of the neck, taking her how I want. She moans, as my tongue enters her mouth, and I start to lose my sense of control. Every time I’m around her, it’s a struggle to keep my cock in line, but right now, I could care less. Kissing her with all the passion I have, I’m grateful I can touch the ground. When Bethany pushes her breasts against my chest, I groan, wanting to rip off that damn bikini top. “Fuck, Bet. I want you,” I huskily declare, as I break away from her addictive mouth.
Her cheeks are flushed, and her lips are starting to swell from our hard kissing, but she’s never looked more beautiful. “I want you, too.”
After those four words are spoken, I grasp her under her thighs with both hands. Walking as quickly as I can in the water, I make it to the bank, and carefully place her down on the blanket, once I reach it. Cradling her head, I make sure she’s comfortable, before I’m back at her mouth, devouring her. Again, those legs wrap around me, gripping me tightly, as she pulls me down closer.
Breaking our kiss, I travel down to her neck, loving how she moves to the side, allowing me better access. “Caleb,” she calls out, as her hips rotate, hitting me right on my cock. Pushing forward, I groan, knowing how much we both want this to happen. Since her bikini bottoms are thin, I will myself to slow down, because feeling her warmth is making me crazed with need.
Needing a distraction, I start to kiss down her chest. Using my hand, I glance up, silently asking permission to go further. Bethany does more than answer me. Reaching up behind her, she unties her top, exposing those gorgeous breasts for me. I take the cue, instantly placing my mouth on her right nipple, and then I do the same to the other one. Cupping them both with my hands, I thrust my hips, hitting her right where she wants me. Her back arches, as her hands reach forward, grabbing me by the neck. Pulling me up to her mouth, she kisses me, as I thrust onto her again and again. I’m not experienced at all, when it comes to sex, but I do know how to read her body. I know exactly what she wants, without her having to ask. When we were together the first time, I caught on quickly, learning her cues.
I love hearing those moans of pleasure.
I yearn for her hands to be all over me.
I crave to feel her pussy, clenching around me again.
She’s the equivalent of my own personal brand of drug. She’s the one thing I’m becoming addicted to. The one person I want to taste over and over again. Making my way back to her breasts, I take my fill, taking my time tasting her over and over again. Sucking and kneading her breasts, I find I don’t want to stop, but the thrusting of her hips, lets me know she’s ready for more.
Moving to the side, I make good on my promise and use my tongue to lick the tattoo on her side. It’s high up, so it’s hidden, unless she’s wearing a bikini or nothing at all. Lightly touching the bird in flight, I run my fingertips over the words written in Latin under it. Give me the strength to be who I am. I’m glad I studied Latin at MIT, because it definitely comes in handy now.
Moving down once again, I leave a trail of wet kisses on her stomach, stopping again to tongue and touch another tattoo at her left hip. This one is a bundle of poppies, intertwining with lines and swirls. Just like her other tattoos, this one is beautifully drawn, and I wonder if she designed all her tattoos. Giving it the same attention, as I did to her other one, I glance up once I’m down between her legs. Bethany’s head is tilted up, her hands are clenching by her sides, and my heart races, knowing what I’m about to do.
Slowly pulling her bikini bottoms down, I raise up just enough to take them off. Tossing them to the side, my breath catches in my throat, as Bethany’s gaze locks with mine. Those amber eyes are full of want, need, and lust. Licking my lips, she spreads her legs, showing me all of her. Swallowing hard, as lust rushes through me, I will myself to calm down. I want to do this right and make her feel good. Leaning back down, I place a hand on her thigh. Her hips start to rotate up, as if she’s ready for me to devour her whole.
But my nerves make me overthink about what I want to do.
I’ve never gone down on a woman before. Sure, I’ve seen porn, so I get the gist. But the actual act is foreign to me. “Please, Caleb. I need you,” Bethany calls out. Knowing how much she needs some sort of relief, I push down my insecurities. Hovering over her core, I slowly inch closer, loving how open she is to me. It’s a wonderful feeling, knowing she’s baring herself to me like this, and trusting me to take care of her.
My tongue touches her clit, and as I groan at her taste, Bethany’s fingers are suddenly in my hair. She pulls me closer, so I let go of my control and reservations about licking her. Not holding back anymore, I use my tongue and mouth, making her cry out again and again. Her hips move up and down, and I quickly find my rhythm, and what she likes the most. Using my free hand, I take two fingers and open her swollen lips. The moan Bethany gives me, tells me all I need to know. God, I feel like a man possessed. A man that has been dying of thirst, and this is the only way I can get my fill.
Her taste is just as addictive as her mouth, and I have a feeling I’ll be fucking her with my mouth more often. “Damn, Bet. You taste so good,” I huskily say. Which in turn, earns me another loud moan. Her fingers in my hair tighten their hold, and as I push my tongue inside of her, I feel her pussy throb around me. Knowing she’s getting close, I fuck her with my tongue, alternating between going inside her and sucking on her clit.
Thank fuck, I’m a quick learner.
It’s not long after that her thighs start shaking, and then what I crave most, finally happens. Her cries only grow louder, as I continue to work her over, as her orgasm rushes through her. After a few moments, I slow my pace, letting her settle, before I move away from her glistening pussy. Leaning up, Bethany meets my gaze and smiles brightly. “Wow. All I can say is wow.”
Wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, I grin. “You enjoyed that, huh?”
She reaches for me, and I don’t hesitate to come to her. Hovering over her lips, I brush back her hair that came out of her bun, as she claims, “Fuck, yes I did. I want you back down there again ASAP.” Chuckling, I start to move back down, but she holds me still. “I want you inside me this time. Next time, you can stay down there all night.”
“Yes, ma’am,” I respond with a wide grin. Leaning down to take her mouth, my kiss is slow, because I want to savor her. I want to commit every single moment with her to memory. Soon, our kiss turns desperate and it’s full of passion. Breaking our kiss, I quickly pull my swim sorts down. I’m instantly back on her, once I’m fully naked, and I let out a loud sigh, feeling our skin meeting. My cock jumps, sensing her warmth close by, and it makes me stop in my tracks. “Shit. I forgot to bring a condom.” Honestly, sex was the last thing on my mind, but it was stupid of me to not be prepared.
“It’s fine. Just pull out, okay?”
Locking gazes with her, I ask, “Are you sure? We don’t have to do anythin’.”
Her hand cups my cheek, as she says, “Yes. I’m one hundred percent sure. I want you, Caleb. I need you so bad.” I can’t deny t
his woman anything, so I reach down, guiding myself inside of her.
Fuck. Me.
She’s so tight, warm, and wet, and Jesus Christ, I have to stop thinking about how amazing she feels. Once I’m all the way in, we both moan, and I close my eyes, as I try to get a hold over myself. The first time we had sex, it was a struggle not to blow my load, the second I entered her.
This time is no different.
She just feels so fucking good around me, but I want to savor her more. Opening my eyes, I meet her lustful gaze, and I start to thrust. I start slow at first, still trying to contain some sort of control. As her legs tangle with mine, and she reaches down to grab my ass, something inside me snaps.
Moving my hips faster, I push into her deep, as I rotate my hips at the same time. She meets me thrust for thrust, as I fuck her harder and harder. Leaning in closer, I use my forearms to keep most of my weight off her, and I relish the feeling of her hands, roaming all over my body. Taking her mouth, I kiss her hard, as I surge forward. With each dip of my tongue, I pound harder, loving how she has to break our kiss to take in a breath. When she starts to call out my name over and over, I feel her pussy begin to clench around me. Dropping my head to her neck, I slow down, knowing I’m about to come. With a few final thrusts, I quickly pull out, allowing myself to let go onto the blanket. Groaning against her neck, I take a few moments to catch my breath.
Leaning up, I caress her cheek lovingly, adoring her without words. Her hands are still stroking my back, and I love that she’s touching me. As I claim her mouth, I silently thank her for letting me take care of her. After a few moments, I stop to gaze into her eyes, hoping she can see how much she means to me.
I hope she eventually accepts all the love I have for her. I hope one day she realizes she’s more than just the girl I’m in love with. She’s my life now, and my entire world. Once she accepts us, and accepts my love for her, it’ll make me the happiest man alive.
Laughing out loud, I save the picture Caleb just sent me. It’s of him, making the most ridiculous face. Quickly sending him one back, I lean back on the couch, trying to find something to watch. Since Caleb is going over to Clark’s house, to try and formulate a plan for Caden to win Savannah back, I’m at home, patiently waiting for him to come back to me. I’m glad he and Caden made up, and I hope the brothers can help Caden get his girl back.
It does suck I can’t help, but I’ve accepted my fate.
Not finding anything good on Netflix, I decide to grab my sketch pad and work on the artwork I’m drawing for Caleb. Quickly going up to my room, I grab everything I need, and then I sit back down on the couch. I’m not sure how long Caleb will be gone, so I’ll have to keep myself busy for a while. It’s not long, before I get lost in my drawing, and my mind blanks, like it always does, as I draw. The TV plays softly, but I’m not even sure what I ended up picking to play. I’m so far gone, that nothing around me registers.
That is until I hear the front door closing.
Thinking it’s Caleb, coming to surprise me again, I quickly shut my sketch pad. I glance up with a smile on my face, until I realize it’s my mom. My smile quickly disappears, because I’m sure she won’t even acknowledge that I’m here. Like always, her face is glued to her phone, as she walks through the house. Watching her, as she goes into the kitchen, I wait to see if she has the common courtesy to at least let me know if she’s staying or leaving again. I can hear her, as she seems to be looking for something in the kitchen, and it’s not long, before she goes upstairs.
Clenching my jaw, I will my tears not to fall. My eyes are blurry, as she makes her way back down with a bag in her hand. She literally walks right by me and doesn’t even look my way. My God, I could be a complete stranger, and she’d never know the damn difference. She’s so focused on her phone and herself that she’s completely oblivious to everything around her.
I’m so fucking sick of her not noticing me. I’m her only daughter for Christ’s sake.
As she walks to the front door, I decide I’ve had enough of the silence. Getting up, I quickly reach her and ask, “How long are you goin’ to pretend I don’t fuckin’ exist?”
She startles and turns around. “Jesus, Bethany. I thought you were out.”
Rolling my eyes, I cross my arms. “Of course, you would have no idea where I am. You’re never here, and when you are, you’re glued to your phone. What if I was some random person just squattin’? How would you know?”
Shaking her head, she glances at her phone, as she says, “Don’t be so dramatic.”
“I’m bein’ dramatic?” I ask with a laugh. This whole situation is so fucked up, and she can’t even see it. “Are you kiddin’ me, right now? I’ve been waitin’ for ten minutes for you to realize I’ve been sittin’ on the couch. I’ve also been waitin’ for you to grow the fuck up and be a mother for once.”
That catches her attention. For the first time in years, she drops her gaze from her phone, finally looking at me. “I’m the one that needs to grow up?” With her finger, she points at me, saying, “You’re the one that needs to grow up. You’re twenty-four years old, Bethany, and yet, here you are, cryin’, because you’re alone at home. I would’ve thought you’d be glad to have this house empty to do whatever you want.”
Clenching my jaw, I try to reign in my anger. “You are so fuckin’ blind. Why in the hell would I want to be alone all the time in this house? Why would I want my own mother to walk in and act like I’m not even here? Why would I want either of my parents to act like they wish I was never born?”
“Now, you’re just bein’ ridiculous.”
“No, I’m not. You’re never here, and even if you are, I’m the one that makes sure the house is clean and the bills are paid. I’m the one takin’ care of everythin’, while you’re out doin’ whatever you’re doin’ with whatever boy toy you’re with. I’m not sure who’s worse, you or Dad. Honestly, you’re both about the same. At least with Dad, I don’t have to see him to know I’m such a goddamn mistake.”
Her voice shakes, as she demands, “You stop that shit right now, young lady.”
“The fuck I will. It’s about time I get some sort of attention from you. I’m tired of you doin’ this shit to me. I’m so fuckin’ tired of it. I’ve never seen anyone act so selfish. All you care about is who is goin’ to stick their dick in you, or which man can take care of you. Honestly, I can’t even respect you, because you always have to have a man in your life. Why can’t you just be my mother for once? Why can’t you be who you used to be? Why can’t you just act like you lo—”
The slap across my face comes out of nowhere.
“You listen here and listen good,” she says harshly, as I cup my burning cheek. “I’m allowed to live my life any way I please. I’m a grown ass woman, so I can do whatever I want. I will not let my daughter try to dictate what I can and cannot do. Just because I’m not here to hold your hand twenty-four-seven, does not give you the right to speak to me with so much disrespect. I know I taught you better than that, so why don’t you do yourself a favor and grow up, Bethany. You think I don’t notice you? If you believe that, you’re way more immature than I thought. I see the way you’re leadin’ that nice boy on, when I know you’ve been after Carter, since you met him. Even I can see that. Do yourself a favor and stop worryin’ about what I’m doin’ and get yourself together.”
Tears freely fall, as I think about what she said. In a way, I get it. She has the freedom to do whatever she wants, but then again, I can’t remember the last time her and I were even in the same room. Taking my silence as her cue to leave, she turns towards the door. “If you walk out on me right now, I’ll never forgive you for this.”
Unsurprisingly, she answers her phone, as it rings, and then walks right out the front door, never once looking back.
A few hours have passed, since the blow up between my mom and me. Giving myself some time to cool off, I texted Caleb, letting him know that I need a night alone. Thankfully, he didn’t
ask for any details. He just reminded me he’s here for me, if I need him.
That therein lies the problem.
After going over and over the fight Mom and I had, there are a lot of things I have to come to terms with. I have to face the fact that my mom will never be the person she once was. It’s hard to realize that she’s never going to be the person I need her to be, or the fact that she’s completely forgotten about supporting me. She’ll never give me advice on my problems, or even ask me about my day. I’ll always be the reminder that Dad cheated. I’ll always be her greatest mistake. Even if I wasn’t the person that ruined her marriage and her life, I’m still the one that told her. I’m the one that popped the bubble she was living in. Deep down, I know she blames me. I know she can’t stand to look at me, or even be around me, because she hates how I changed her life. Maybe, she’s still in love with Dad. Maybe, she missed how things were before, too. However, knowing all of this doesn’t change the fact that our lives have changed and so has she. It doesn’t change the fact she’s wrong about more than she realizes.
She told me I’m leading Caleb on, because I’m still in love with Carter. She thinks, after all this time, I’m still pining after a man that will never, ever see me, as more than a friend.
During this time of replaying our fight, I finally understand some very important facts.
One being, I never loved Carter, like I thought. I do love him, but that love is like you love your best friend. It’s more of a brother, sister type of love. It’s not romantic by any means, and I stupidly confused my feelings, because I used Carter, as a crutch for a long time. I clung to him because he was there for me at my weakest moment. As soon as I figured this out, I understand now why it hurts so much that I’m not in his life. Sure, I’ve made friends and lost those friendships along the way, but they’ve never hurt so deeply like this. I miss Carter, because after all the years, we were friends, and he became my family.
