by Brie Paisley
Walking up to her, I ask, “Please, stay. I think I finally understand why Cas asked y’all to come by.” It suddenly hits me what Cason was trying to do. He’s trying to give me a chance to make things right, even if it’s just between Carter, Shelby, and I. Shelby turns towards Carter, and once he nods, she turns back to me, nodding as well.
Now that I’ve got both of their attention, my stomach takes a dive, as nerves come to the surface. “Do y’all want somethin’ to drink?” I need something to distract my mind for a moment. It’s so surreal that both of the people I hurt the most are standing in my bare living room, and it’s really putting pressure on me to get this right. I doubt I’ll ever get the chance to try this again, so I have to get it right.
“Do you have any wine? I could really use a glass right about now,” Shelby says, and I head to the fridge.
Opening it, I realize I don’t, so instead, I pull out the bottle of champagne. “No wine, but what about this?” I ask, holding it up.
“It’ll do,” Shelby claims, as she walks over by me.
“I don’t have any glasses yet, so we’ll have to drink it from the bottle.”
To my surprise, she laughs, as she says, “Reminds me of my college days. I never had any clean glasses, so whenever I drank, it was always straight from the bottle.” She turns towards Carter, as he walks into my small kitchen, and she asks, “Can you open it for us?”
Handing him the bottle, he quickly pops the cork, and then acts fast to hold the bottle over the sink, as the bubbles spew out. Once it seems like the bubbles have settled, he hands the bottle to Shelby, and she takes a long drink. I do the same, as she hands me the bottle, and I take a deep breath.
Setting the bottle on the counter, I pick at the label, as I figure out where to start. “I hope you both know how sorry I am for the things that I’ve done. Honestly, I know there aren’t enough words to say, to show, or explain how much I wish I could go back and change what I did.” Taking a chance, I glance up, meeting Carter’s gaze. He looks just as sad as I feel, and I wonder if he misses our friendship. “I know there isn’t any excuse for me tryin’ to ruin things for you, but hopefully, once you understand a bit more about me, then maybe you’ll at least forgive me.”
Taking another drink, I offer the bottle to Shelby, and as she drinks, I begin. “When you and I met,” I state directly towards Carter. “I was in a really bad head space. My parents were everythin’ to me, and I know what happened between them didn’t do me any favors. You see, I looked up to them, and all I ever wanted was to be included and have a love like theirs.” Shaking my head, my stomach clenches, knowing that what love my parents had shared will never be what I want now. “I put a lot of blame on myself once they decided to get a divorce. Even now, I believe my mom blames me for tellin’ her about my dad cheatin’. I’ve never asked her because I don’t want to know the truth.” Shelby hands me the half empty bottle, and I’m glad, because I need something to ground me.
“Anyway, the moment you included me into your family, I felt like I belonged there. The feelin’ of loneliness wasn’t as bad, and I clung to you and your family. Mine didn’t want me anymore, so at the time, I thought it was a form of love, when you brought me around.” With his wide eyes, I quickly add, “I know. Trust me, I know I was wrong, but at the time, I confused what we had. It sounds so stupid now, but I really thought that’s what love was. I’ve never been in love before, and I was so desperate to be a part of somethin’, besides the shitty hand I had.”
Glancing to Shelby, I utter, “I was jealous, when you came back, because I thought you were goin’ to take that away. You were so loved, even when you weren’t around, so I knew the moment you returned, I would slowly be pushed aside.” I take a moment to take a deep breath, as I hold Shelby’s gaze. “I honestly don’t want Carter that way. Actually, I never wanted him that way. I see that now, and I wish I had figured it out sooner. All this time I was so worried he and his family would forget about me, but in the end, I was the one to mess it up.”
Glancing away from both of them, my eyes land on the wall to the right. Smiling, as I think of Caleb, I confess, “Caleb is the one who showed me what love really is all about. Even when I fought it, he worked his way into my heart anyway. No matter how much I wanted to protect myself, I fell in love with him.” God my chest hurts, thinking about all the times we were together, knowing I may never get the chance to have that again.
“It’s my fault he hit you, Carter. I was typin’ out one final apology, and he read it. I’m not sure if he even read the entire message, but I know he thinks I’m still in love with you, even though I’ve never been. Being with Caleb, made me realize what I felt for you was nothin’ more than a strong bond we formed, when we met.” Gazing down at my feet, I clench my jaw, as tears form in my eyes, and a lump forms in my throat. “I may never get the chance to tell him that, though. But …,” I start, trying to pull myself together. “At least, Cason did me a solid, and I finally got to apologize to both of you face to face. I don’t know if either of you can ever forgive me, and that’s okay. I just wanted to say my peace. I hope one day things can go back to normal, or even just on friendly terms. Either way, I won’t push for anythin’ more.”
A few moments pass by, and just as I start to think they’re both going to leave, Carter surprises me. Opening his arms, he says, “Come here, Beth.” I don’t move, until Shelby gives me a smile and nods. With her permission, I walk into Carter’s arms, grateful to have this moment. He’s always been there for me, and just like any big brother would, he’s here for me now. I didn’t realize how much I missed his brotherly embrace, until now, and it makes me want to cry, knowing how badly I fucked up. What if I never got this chance? I really owe Cason. “I forgive you,” Carter utters, and as soon as the words are spoken, my tears come full force.
It’s as if a huge weight has been lifted off me, and I don’t even try to stop my tears from falling. Carter just holds me, as I cry, and I let myself accept his comfort only for a moment, and then I step back, not wanting to over step my new boundaries. “I forgive you, too,” Shelby says, as she uses a hand, fixing my hair.
Using the back of my hand, I wipe my face, before saying, “Thank you both. I really want us all to start over, if that’s alright?”
“I’d like that very much,” Shelby says, as Carter nods, pulling her to him.
Even though it hurts like hell seeing their love, when I know I could’ve had that with Caleb, a part of me is happy for them. Even with my heart feeling as if it’s slowly being ripped from my chest, I’m glad Carter finally is getting his happily ever after. “Now that we’re all buddies again,” Carter says, with a wide grin. “What are we goin’ to do about Caleb?”
Just hearing his name hurts, but I put on a brave face, as Shelby claims, “We have to get him to listen to us.”
“Yeah, I’m not so sure he’s goin’ to be up for talkin,” Carter explains. “I think Caden, Cason, Clark, and I made things worse, when we took it to the ring.”
“You did what?” Shelby and I say at the same time.
Carter holds up his hands, like he already knows he’s in trouble. “Cas thought it would be a good idea to work it out in the ring. No one got hurt. Well, not too bad anyway.”
“So, that’s where your busted lip came from?”
I stand back against the counter, as Shelby places her hands on her hips. I have to cover my mouth with my hand to hide my grin, seeing Carter’s face. He knows he’s in it deep. “It wasn’t a big deal. He got in a few shots, and so did I. A little sibling rivalry never hurt anyone.”
Shelby shakes her head, and then turns to me. “Can you believe this?”
“I’m Switzerland on this. Sorry, but I’m not touchin’ it.” As she turns back towards Carter, he grins, as he pulls Shelby back to him. He whispers something in her ear, and I glance away at their moment. “You didn’t hurt him bad, did you?” I ask Carter. I get that the brothers have their own ways of dealing
with shit, plus boys will be boys. However, I don’t like knowing they ganged up on Caleb like that. The need to protect him washes through me, and I’m surprised at how quickly it surfaces.
I manage not to lose my temper, and I remind myself that this isn’t the first time the brothers have fought before. I’m sure it won’t be the last time either. “I swear he’s fine. His ego is bruised more than anythin’.”
Before I can answer him, someone knocks on the door. “That better be the pizza I ordered,” I say to no one in particular, as I make my way to the door. Thankfully, it is my order, and I quickly pay the guy, and then walk back to the kitchen. “Y’all want some?”
Carter and Shelby agree to stay, and we end up taking the box of pizza into the living room. I sit back against the wall, as Carter and Shelby sit side by side. It’s like old times, as we eat our pizza, and I’m glad Cason took a chance on getting them here. I realize now I should’ve gotten to know Shelby, before I did what I did, and I’m very grateful that I’m getting the opportunity now. It’s like getting to know Carter all over again, as they talk about their lives and past stories.
It’s also hard to watch them together, because it reminds me so much of how I miss Caleb. The night would be absolutely perfect, if only he were here …
Three weeks have gone by, since the last time I saw Bethany.
Every day that passes, it gets harder and harder to cope with the ache in my chest. Each day without her, the hole in my heart grows even more. I’ve thought about going over to see her, and hear her side of the story, but the fact that she’s in love with my brother, stops me every single time. I don’t know if I can ever face her, knowing what we had, and what we could’ve had. I don’t know if I can get over how she played me, like a fool.
Rolling over in bed, I glance at my shattered phone still in pieces on the floor. I haven’t bothered to pick it up, since I threw it against the wall. I just couldn’t stand to see her messages anymore, because it was like a punch in the gut every time I saw her name. I just couldn’t force myself to read what she sent. I couldn’t make myself relive the moment I realized she didn’t want me. Laying on my back, I gaze at the blurry ceiling, wondering why I still care. Why does it hurt so much to think about her not being with me? I shouldn’t give a damn anymore, knowing she just used me this whole time.
But the reality of it is, I’m still in love with her, and I doubt it’ll ever change.
I’ve ignored all of my brothers, too. I honestly don’t want to hear what they have to say. I don’t want to listen to Carter’s reason, Caden’s stupid comments, Cason’s serious tone, or even Clark’s sound advice. Sure, I’m feeling sorry for myself, but I really don’t care. The only reason I get out of bed these days is because if I don’t Mama will drag me out by the ears. It’s been super awkward at breakfast being around my brothers, knowing how they got me to come to Cas’s gym, only to stand by, as Carter beat my ass. We used to fight a lot as kids, especially Clark and I, but this is different. Carter says he didn’t sleep with Bethany, but it’s worse, knowing how she is emotionally drawn to him.
You can’t just get over love.
I should know firsthand.
“Caleb, you decent?”
Hearing Dad’s voice, I sit up in bed. “Yeah,” I call out, as I reach for my glasses.
“Your Mama is upset you missed breakfast again.” He claims, as he reaches me.
Glancing over to my clock, I realize it’s midafternoon. Well, damn. I hadn’t realized how long I’ve been lying in bed, letting my mind wander. “Crap. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t tell me. You’re lucky it’s me comin’ down here and not your mama.” He’s right about that. I can’t believe I’ve been in my head for so long. When I don’t say anything for a while, Dad takes a seat beside me on the bed. “Listen, son. I don’t know exactly what is goin’ on with you, but I’m guessin’ it has to do with a woman.”
Trying to play it off, I ask, “What makes you say that?”
“Because I’ve been where you are once upon a time.” With my frown, Dad says, “Yeah. Your mother and I didn’t have a great start in our relationship. Her parents hated my guts, and claimed I couldn’t take care of her, since I was still in college.” He uses a hand to brush some lint off his jeans, as he continues, “Long story short, your mama actually listened to them, and she broke things off. I almost flunked out of college because of it.”
“I didn’t know any of this,” I claim, wondering why I’ve never heard this story before.
“That’s because it didn’t last long. I lasted about a month, before goin’ to get her.”
Pushing up my glasses, I ask, “Why are you tellin’ me this?”
“Because, son, you seem to be in a bad spot right now. Maybe, my story of how I got your mother back will make you realize you need to fight for those you love. I don’t know what happened between the two of you, but what I do know is, if you love her, like you’re actin’, then you need to go get her. Remember, son, that women like it, when a man fights for them. They need to be reminded how much we care about them.”
“Thanks, Dad, but I don’t know if that’ll work in this situation.”
“Have you tried?”
“Well, no.”
“Alright, then. There’s your problem.” Dad may have a point, but can I really put myself through more heartbreak? That’s what I’m worried about. I don’t think I can handle pouring my heart and soul out to Bethany again, only to get shot down. Again. “Why don’t you think about it?” He suggests and gets up. “There is one more reason why I wanted to talk to you.” Glancing up, I give him my full attention. “I know your mother gave you a big graduation party, but she and I have been wantin’ to give you this as well,” he says, as he pulls out something from his back pocket.
He hands it to me, and I quickly open the white envelope, as my eyes widen, realizing what it is. “Dad, I can’t accept this.”
“Of course, you can. Think of it as your first investor for your business.”
Seeing the check in my hand, an overwhelming sense of pride flows through me. “Y’all really didn’t have to do this.”
Dad places a hand on my shoulder, as he says, “We’re very proud of you, Caleb.” After a tap on my shoulder, he starts to leave. “Before I go,” he starts, turning around. “Don’t worry about your brothers gettin’ jealous of that check. We gave each of you somethin’ after each of y’all reached a big milestone in life.”
“Thanks, Dad. I really don’t know what else to say.” It’s a lot to take in, knowing how supportive my parents are. I never realized how much they’ve done for us. They’ve always been there for each of us, but this is so much more than I could’ve ever asked for. Dad is right. I have enough to get my business started, and maybe, even more than that, if I work the numbers right.
“You’re welcome, son. Now, get up and shower. Did you know it’s startin’ to stink down here? When is the last time you bathed, boy?”
Letting out a laugh, I finally see where Caden gets his wit from. I watch Dad walk up the stairs, and once he’s out of sight, I glance at the check still in my hands. I never once asked my parents for anything. I never had to, because they’ve always seemed to know what I needed, before I did. Staring at the check, I’ve never been more grateful to have such loving parents.
It makes me think of Bethany, and how she doesn’t have that anymore.
Pushing out a breath, I take Dad’s advice, heading towards the shower and mentally prepare myself for what I have to do next.
Parking my truck, I get out, hoping Carter and I can finally have our talk. It’s been a long time coming, and I’ll admit, I’ve missed my brother. Even with our age difference, we’ve all been close, especially since I returned home. I miss hanging out with him, and when I’m wrong, I’ll admit it.
And I was very, very wrong for hitting him.
Walking up the front steps, I reach the door and ring the bell. It doesn’t take long for Shelby to an
swer, and she doesn’t say anything, as she lets me inside. Carter is sitting on the couch, and as I approach him, Shelby says, “I’ll leave y’all to it. I need to finish gettin’ ready.”
Knowing I have a deadline, I get right to the point, “I fucked up, and I’m sorry.”
Carter doesn’t say a word for a while, and I wonder if he’s going to toss me out on my ass. I wouldn’t blame him for it. I acted like a complete jerk, and I shouldn’t have took my anger out on him. Unfortunately, he was an easy target. “Come sit by me,” he offers, and I do so, hoping he’ll forgive me. “I’m only goin’ to say this once, so you better listen,” he demands, and I give him my full attention. “I’ve never wanted Bethany like that. We were just friends, and we’ll always be just friends. I never fucked her, and honestly, it grosses me out thinkin’ about her that way. She’s like the sister I never had, so don’t ever think I’ll go that way with her.”
Nodding, I run a hand through my hair, letting his words sink in. “I know. I think I already knew all this from the beginnin’, but when I saw that message, I just lost it.”
“I get that,” Carter claims, as he leans forward, placing his arms on his legs. “But did you actually read what she meant to send me?”
“Well, no, but—”
“No buts,” he says, as he holds up a hand, turning towards me. “If you were gonna snoop, you should’ve at least read the entire message, man.” He shakes his head, as he gets up. Tilting my head back, he offers his hand, as he asks, “We cool, bro?”
Taking his hand, we shake, and he pulls me in for a quick hug. “I’m sorry I lost it on you.”
“I get it. To be honest, I probably would’ve done the same thing, if it were Shelby. Lord knows, I’ll walk through fire for that woman.”
“I’m all ready to go. Are y’all done, because we need to head out, if we’re gonna be on time.” Shelby says, as she walks into the room, putting earrings in her ears.
“I’ll let y’all go. I didn’t mean to interrupt y’alls’ date night.”
