Best Kept Secrets (Complete Series)

by Kandi Steiner

  “I know,” she said again, shaking her head as her gaze fell to the floor. “It’s pathetic, but it’s true. I self-sabotaged because it was the only thing that felt right. I didn’t want to listen to you, or have hope that I was different, that what we had was special, that it was real. I couldn’t even consider that when you told me you loved me, you meant it. Because I didn’t even love myself.”

  “Come here,” I said, reaching out my arms for her, but she immediately shook her head.

  “No,” she said firmly against the tears still flooding her eyes. A single blink would send them cascading down her cheeks. “No, I need to say this. I need to get this out.”

  My heart swelled with the need to hold her, to soothe her pain, but I respected her wish to stay a few feet away. I slid my hands into the pockets of my slacks to keep my promise.

  “Reese, from the moment I met you, I knew you would change my life,” she said, the left side of her lips curling up before they fell again. “At first, I thought it would just be musically. I was going to learn from one of the greats, hone my skills, make my dreams come true. But, it became so much more than that. Somewhere along the way, I started to feel beautiful when you looked at me. I started to feel valued when I’d speak and you’d listen, like I was the most interesting woman you’d ever met. And you saw me as that — a woman, not a girl. I think you were the first person to see me that way.”

  She crossed the space between us, hands reaching out to touch the buttons of my shirt. She watched her hands as they pressed against my chest, and just as I predicted, a single blink sent two parallel tears falling down her soft brown cheeks.

  “I know you would never hurt me. And I have never felt more safe or more wanted with anyone in my entire life. You make me feel worthy again, like I’m not damaged, like I’m cherished and revered and cared for. That night in your bed was the most amazing night of my life, and not just because of the amazing way you touched my skin,” she breathed, lifting her eyes to mine. “But because of the incredible way you have touched my soul, since the very moment you came into my life.”

  I couldn’t fight it any longer, and my hands slipped from my pockets to frame her face, to wipe her tears away as I searched her eyes. She leaned into the touch, closing her eyes as more tears slipped free as soon as I’d wiped the first ones away.

  “What are you saying, Sarah?”

  She blew out a shaky breath, opening her eyes again with an unsure smile. “I’m saying… you were right. I do love you. And I want you to come with me to New York.”

  That hope that had bloomed in my chest, that had soared across my soul, it flooded my entire body in that moment. With Sarah’s face in my hands, her eyes watching mine, her heart on her sleeve and mine firmly in her hands — I came to life.

  “Do you really mean that?”

  She nodded, smiling even with the tears in her eyes.

  “Say it again.”

  “Come with me to New York?”

  “No,” I said, shaking my head as I smoothed my thumbs over the line of her jaw. “The other part.”

  At that, she folded, shaking her head before threading her arms around my neck. She lifted onto her toes, eyes searching mine for the longest moment before she whispered, “You were right. I do love you.”

  The words were barely out of her mouth before my lips were on hers, pressing, seeking, claiming. She melted into me, body bending forward as my arms swooped her into me. I held her close, held her tight, kissing her like it was the first and last time all at once.

  And in that moment, I had everything.

  Everything I’d ever wanted, everything I’d ever needed, everything I’d never thought I’d have for as long as I walked the Earth. All the pain, all the loss — it led me to this moment, to this girl, to this future.

  I knew I didn’t deserve it, didn’t deserve her — but I held on tight, anyway.

  “Wait,” I said suddenly, pulling back on a breath. “What about your uncle, your aunt, your mom.” My chest tightened. “We need to sit down and talk to them. I need to talk to them, to try to help them see that I’m not just some perverted old guy trying to steal their little girl away to the big city.”

  Sarah chuckled, crossing her wrists behind my neck. “I already told them.”

  I blanched. “What?”

  “My mom, my uncle, my aunt. I told them everything, and they were weary at first,” she admitted. “But… I think they can see it, what we feel. And they support it.” Sarah kissed my lips quickly before adding, “Not that they really had a say, anyway. I would have still come here and said every word I said, with their blessing or not.”

  I chuckled, kissing her nose. “So, you’re telling me my boss knows I’ve kissed his niece who’s sixteen years younger than I am…”

  Sarah cringed. “Yeah… and don’t get me wrong, he was probably the least understanding. He was upset at first, and walked out of the room, even threatened to drive straight to your house.”

  “He did come to my house. Before work that night we fought. He basically threatened me. I think he knew even then.”

  Sarah nodded. “Maybe. But, regardless, he respects me. And you, Reese. He knows your character just like I do.” She paused, swallowing hard before she met my eyes again. “And he told me to tell you that you still have a job. If you decide to stay in Pennsylvania.”

  I shook my head, smiling at the worry in her eyes as she spoke those words. “You actually think I would stay behind?”

  She shrugged. “I would understand if you did, especially after all I’ve put you through.”

  My hands slid to frame her face again, and I kissed her softly, slowly, hoping she could feel all the words I couldn’t find to convey what she meant to me. “I’d go through it all again and more if it meant I got to have you in the end.”

  Sarah shook her head, like she would never believe that I wanted her, that I was hers entirely. And I didn’t know how long it would take to make her believe it, but I fully intended to find out.

  She melted into me again when I lowered my lips to hers, wrapping my arms all the way around her and lifting her off the ground in a slow, movie-like twirl, which made her burst into laughter as soon as her toes were on the ground again.

  “That was cheesy,” she said.

  “You think that was cheesy? Just wait. You’re in for a whole lot of cheese.”

  “I’m vegan.”

  “Have you ever been kissed in the rain, Sarah Henderson?” I asked, ignoring her comment.

  She cocked a brow. “No…”

  “Well, come with me, then. Because you are the kind of girl who deserves to be kissed in the rain.”

  She tried to fight me at first when I laced my fingers with hers and tugged her toward the kitchen doors, but I kept pulling, kissing her at every stopping point along the way until we were outside. The rain soaked us both as soon as the back door kicked open, and she gasped at the cold sensation, eyes blinking rapidly as she adjusted.

  “It’s freezing!” she said on a laugh, but I pulled her into me, stopping the shivering of her teeth when I captured her mouth with mine. I kissed her with the rain pouring down around us, a bolt of lightning lighting the sky above. And I knew in that moment that she was the missing puzzle piece I’d been looking for all along.

  I’d just had to walk the busted up, broken down road to get to her.

  I picked her up again, twirling us in the rain before bending her back in a dramatic dip with my lips pressed to hers. Time seemed to stop with my arms around her, my lips pressed to hers, her hands fisted in the wet sleeves of my dress shirt. And when I pulled her back to stand upright, our chests heaving, the rain still pouring around us, I couldn’t help but smile at the woman who’d saved me, who’d chosen me, too.

  “You know,” I said after a long moment, pulling her closer to warm her from the cold rain. “I’ve been writing a song for you, too.”

  Her brows shot up. “You have?”

  I laughed, noddin
g. “I started writing it after that first night I met you. But… it’s changed. It’s changed so many times since then that it doesn’t even sound cohesive now.”

  “Well,” she said, running her hands up my chest, up over my jaw, back into my hair. “Maybe you’ll figure it out one day, and you can play it for me then.”

  “It might take me a lifetime,” I warned, tightening my hold around her waist.

  Sarah smiled, lifting on her toes and touching the tip of her nose to mine.

  “That’s just fine by me.”

  ***

  Sarah

  Later that night, after my last shift at the restaurant, Reese held me with one hand while the other unlocked his door. Rojo bounded out as soon as it was open, licking my leg as she ran past me and into the yard. I chuckled, and while I watched Rojo, Reese watched me.

  I felt his eyes on me like all the wonder of the universe was streamlined in a single gaze. He watched me with reverence, with care, with absolute awe. And I blushed, a smile creeping up on my face as Rojo ran past us back into the house. I finally met his gaze, and he pulled where he held me by the hand until I was in his arms.

  “You should have taken a picture,” I whispered against his lips. “Would’ve lasted longer.”

  He smirked. “I just can’t believe you’re here, that tonight happened, that you… that we…”

  “Are moving to New York together?”

  Reese chuckled. “Yeah. That.”

  “You don’t have to come with me,” I said, eyes falling to my fingers as I trailed them down the buttons of his dress shirt. I stopped at the one right over the middle of his chest, tucking my fingertips under the fabric. “I know it’s a lot… you’d be uprooting your entire life here, and we haven’t known each other long, and—”

  Reese’s knuckles traced up my arm, my neck, until they tenderly tilted my chin up so I’d look at him again.

  “You’ve rendered time useless in my life, Sarah. One moment with you, and I question how I ever lived before I knew you existed. One month with you, and I lived more than I had in years. One summer with you, and there’s no going back to the man I was before. Not that I would ever choose to.” He shook his head, the corner of his mouth quirking up. “There is no life to uproot here. You are my life now.”

  He lowered his lips to mine before I could even sigh, or smile, or blush, or insist I wasn’t all that he thought I was. And when he kissed me, that thought disappeared. I believed him — I believed in his care, in our love, in what we had survived before we knew each other and even more in what we would accomplish together.

  There wasn’t a single question in my mind that Reese wasn’t just my first love, but that he would be my only.

  And every part of me hummed with the desperation to keep him forever.

  My hands fisted where they held his shirt, and I pulled him into me, deepening our kiss as I pressed up on my tiptoes. Reese’s arms surrounded me, warmth and comfort and care encompassing every inch until I was completely wrapped up in him. He pulled back, pressing a kiss to my forehead before holding me with a content sigh, and my heart kicked to life, beating hard and haphazardly against my rib cage.

  “Reese,” I whispered, my cheek pressed against his chest there on his front porch. The night air was warm now that the rain had subsided, but I curled into him as chills raced down my arms.

  “Mmm?”

  I swallowed. “Take me inside,” I whispered, even quieter than before. Then, I lifted my head, capturing his eyes with my own. “Take me to your room.”

  His hands slipped up over my arms, brushing my neck before they framed my face. And when he looked at me, his emerald irises thinned, pupils dilating as he searched my gaze.

  “I want you to be my first, Reese,” I said, and my heart tripled its pace, the reality of the words I’d spoken hitting me in a mix of excitement and nerves. “My real first.”

  Reese shook his head, pulling me into him in the next instant, his lips fastening over mine as he wrapped me in his arms once more. That kiss was so different from any we’d shared before. It was filled with thankfulness, with care, with love — and I found myself wishing to be kissed like that all my life.

  He stepped backward over the threshold of the house, and I followed, our feet moving slowly as we kissed, and touched, and felt. His hands slipped between the buttons of my work vest, loosening each one with a new step, and I tried and failed to school my breathing as my heart raced under my chest. I couldn’t wait for him to touch me — really touch me — to erase every memory before him and brand me for his own.

  My vest was undone by the time we made it to his bedroom, and he slipped it over my shoulders, letting it fall to the floor and kissing me for a long, sincere moment before he broke away long enough to put on music. The soft, familiar notes of Claire De Lune floated between us as he set his phone on the bedside table, and he smirked, reaching for me as soon as his hands were free.

  “Debussy,” I mused, running my hands up and over his dress shirt to wrap around his neck. “My favorite.”

  Reese smiled, kissing my nose before he pulled back, searching my eyes. “This is what you deserved your first time, Sarah. The first man to touch you should have cherished it, he should have realized in the moment you gave him permission to touch you that he was the luckiest son of a bitch in the entire world, he should have been so nervous that he couldn’t keep his hands steady when he reached for you,” he said, and as if to illustrate, his trembling hands tugged at the hem of my long-sleeve shirt that was tucked into my dress pants. He pulled it free, pressing his cool, shaking fingertips against the tender skin below my navel. “I can’t go back in time and change what happened, but I promise, I will spend tonight, and every night you let me, worshiping your body until every memory of that night is gone.”

  My eyes watered, and I shook my head against the urge to let those tears loose. “Don’t make me cry, Reese Walker.”

  He smiled, pulling me closer as his lips hovered over mine. His tongue snaked out, touching mine only briefly before he bit down on my lip and sucked it between his teeth. That sent a jolt between my legs, and I moaned, melting into him.

  “How about I make you come, instead?”

  I groaned again, and he snickered, trailing his hands down until they bunched at the hem of my untucked shirt.

  “Arms up,” he commanded, and I obeyed, breaking our kiss long enough for him to strip me free of the fabric before I fastened my lips to his again. Chills cascaded down every inch of my body like a hot waterfall, and my own hands mirrored his as I reached for the buttons of his dress shirt, trembling as I unfastened each one.

  It was a slow dance — our lips tasting as our hands stumbled over the steps. He led, and I followed, trusting him to guide me on that dance floor of his bedroom. With each article of clothing we discarded, my heart raced more, and I grew more and more lightheaded with each new sliver of skin exposed.

  When he was in his boxer briefs and I in nothing but my panties and matching bra, Reese broke away from our kiss, his hands skating up to my shoulders. He swallowed, gaze following his touch as he slipped his fingers under the straps of my bra. I closed my eyes at the sensation of his fingertips skating the sensitive skin, and when he unhooked the prongs at the back, slipping the fabric forward until there was nothing between my chest and his, I couldn’t open my eyes.

  “Sarah,” Reese breathed. “Are you okay?”

  I nodded. “Mm-hmm.”

  He pulled me into him, his warm chest pressing against mine, and I gasped at the feel of his skin against my hardened nipples. It sent another sharp wave of energy right between my legs, and every inch of me swarmed with want, with need.

  “You are so beautiful,” he whispered.

  I creaked one eye open before the other, casting my gaze up at him. But his eyes were closed, his head bent, chest rising and falling rapidly with each breath. He was nervous just like I was, and just as he promised, I knew he was cherishing every moment.<
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  My hands slipped between us, settling on his hips — which were somehow just as hard as every other muscle that lined his god-like body. The tips of my fingers curled under the band of his briefs, and he sucked in a breath, chills breaking at my touch. I stepped backward, slowly, kissing his neck and chest with each step before the backs of my knees hit his bed. I paused, bringing my gaze to meet his as my hands slipped between the fabric of his briefs and his hard, muscular ass.

  Reese rolled his lips together at the feel of me touching him, and when I kept sliding my hands down, down, taking his briefs with me, his Adam’s apple bobbed hard in his throat. He didn’t move to help me, to strip himself free of the briefs, but instead, watched me as I slowly undressed him, like he couldn’t believe it was actually happening.

  Like he couldn’t believe I was his.

  His briefs fell to the floor once I slid them over his thighs, and his impressive erection sprang forward, making my heart stop altogether as I took in the size of him.

  I swallowed.

  “Reese,” I whispered, trailing my fingertips over his lower abdomen. He shivered under the touch, hands framing my arms in lieu of an answer. “Can I taste you?”

  He growled, head falling back before he met my eyes again. “You don’t have to.”

  “I want to,” I said, and I edged myself off the bed, pushing him back just far enough for me to lower to my knees.

  When I did, another longing breath left his chest, and his hands reached for me, touching my chin, my cheeks, my ears. I waited, wondering if he would stop me. But when he didn’t, when my hand wrapped around him tentatively, feeling the smooth, velvet-like skin of his member, I took it as the permission I wanted.

  I lowered my lips, pressing them to his wet tip before slowly opening them, pulling him in, tasting him with my tongue. I glanced up at him when the tip of him was in my mouth, and our eyes met only for a brief moment before he groaned, closing his eyes and letting his head fall back.

  I had no idea what to do, how to touch him, how to take him inside my throat. But I felt my way through it, sliding the base of my tongue over the strained muscle, tracing each vein before I swallowed him whole. He was too big to fit all the way in, but he moaned at the sensation, anyway — encouraging me to press on, to take in more, to lick and taste and feel.