Joe Wilson and His Mates

by Henry Lawson

  I. Dave Regan's Yarn.

  'When we got tired of digging about Mudgee-Budgee, and getting no gold,'said Dave Regan, Bushman, 'me and my mate, Jim Bently, decided to take aturn at droving; so we went with Bob Baker, the drover, overland with abig mob of cattle, way up into Northern Queensland.

  'We couldn't get a job on the home track, and we spent most of ourmoney, like a pair of fools, at a pub. at a town way up over the border,where they had a flash barmaid from Brisbane. We sold our pack-horsesand pack-saddles, and rode out of that town with our swags on ourriding-horses in front of us. We had another spree at another place, andby the time we got near New South Wales we were pretty well stumped.

  'Just the other side of Mulgatown, near the border, we came on a big mobof cattle in a paddock, and a party of drovers camped on the creek. Theyhad brought the cattle down from the north and were going no fartherwith them; their boss had ridden on into Mulgatown to get the cheques topay them off, and they were waiting for him.

  '"And Poisonous Jimmy is waiting for us," said one of them.

  'Poisonous Jimmy kept a shanty a piece along the road from their camptowards Mulgatown. He was called "Poisonous Jimmy" perhaps on accountof his liquor, or perhaps because he had a job of poisoning dingoes on astation in the Bogan scrubs at one time. He was a sharp publican. He hada girl, and they said that whenever a shearing-shed cut-out on his sideand he saw the shearers coming along the road, he'd say to the girl,"Run and get your best frock on, Mary! Here's the shearers comin'." Andif a chequeman wouldn't drink he'd try to get him into his bar and shoutfor him till he was too drunk to keep his hands out of his pockets.

  '"But he won't get us," said another of the drovers. "I'm going to ridestraight into Mulgatown and send my money home by the post as soon as Iget it."

  '"You've always said that, Jack," said the first drover.

  'We yarned a while, and had some tea, and then me and Jim got on ourhorses and rode on. We were burned to bricks and ragged and dusty andparched up enough, and so were our horses. We only had a few shillingsto carry us four or five hundred miles home, but it was mighty hot anddusty, and we felt that we must have a drink at the shanty. This waswest of the sixpenny-line at that time--all drinks were a shilling alonghere.

  'Just before we reached the shanty I got an idea.

  '"We'll plant our swags in the scrub," I said to Jim.

  '"What for?" said Jim.

  '"Never mind--you'll see," I said.

  'So we unstrapped our swags and hid them in the mulga scrub by theside of the road; then we rode on to the shanty, got down, and hung ourhorses to the verandah posts.

  '"Poisonous" came out at once, with a smile on him that would have madeanybody home-sick.

  'He was a short nuggety man, and could use his hands, they said; helooked as if he'd be a nasty, vicious, cool customer in a fight--hewasn't the sort of man you'd care to try and swindle a second time.He had a monkey shave when he shaved, but now it was all frill andstubble--like a bush fence round a stubble-field. He had a broken nose,and a cunning, sharp, suspicious eye that squinted, and a cold stony eyethat seemed fixed. If you didn't know him well you might talk to him forfive minutes, looking at him in the cold stony eye, and then discoverthat it was the sharp cunning little eye that was watching you all thetime. It was awful embarrassing. It must have made him awkward to dealwith in a fight.

  '"Good day, mates," he said.

  '"Good day," we said.

  '"It's hot."

  '"It's hot."

  'We went into the bar, and Poisonous got behind the counter.

  '"What are you going to have?" he asked, rubbing up his glasses with arag.

  'We had two long-beers.

  '"Never mind that," said Poisonous, seeing me put my hand in my pocket;"it's my shout. I don't suppose your boss is back yet? I saw him go into Mulgatown this morning."

  '"No, he ain't back," I said; "I wish he was. We're getting tired ofwaiting for him. We'll give him another hour, and then some of us willhave to ride in to see whether he's got on the boose, and get hold ofhim if he has."

  '"I suppose you're waiting for your cheques?" he said, turning to fixsome bottles on the shelf.

  '"Yes," I said, "we are;" and I winked at Jim, and Jim winked back assolemn as an owl.

  'Poisonous asked us all about the trip, and how long we'd been on thetrack, and what sort of a boss we had, dropping the questions offhandnow an' then, as for the sake of conversation. We could see that hewas trying to get at the size of our supposed cheques, so we answeredaccordingly.

  '"Have another drink," he said, and he filled the pewters up again."It's up to me," and he set to work boring out the glasses with his rag,as if he was short-handed and the bar was crowded with customers, andscrewing up his face into what I suppose he considered an innocent orunconscious expression. The girl began to sidle in and out with a smartfrock and a see-you-after-dark smirk on.

  '"Have you had dinner?" she asked. We could have done with a good meal,but it was too risky--the drovers' boss might come along while we wereat dinner and get into conversation with Poisonous. So we said we'd haddinner.

  'Poisonous filled our pewters again in an offhand way.

  '"I wish the boss would come," said Jim with a yawn. "I want to get intoMulgatown to-night, and I want to get some shirts and things before I goin. I ain't got a decent rag to me back. I don't suppose there's ten bobamongst the lot of us."

  'There was a general store back on the creek, near the drovers' camp.

  '"Oh, go to the store and get what you want," said Poisonous, taking asovereign from the till and tossing it on to the counter. "You can fixit up with me when your boss comes. Bring your mates along."

  '"Thank you," said Jim, taking up the sovereign carelessly and droppingit into his pocket.

  '"Well, Jim," I said, "suppose we get back to camp and see how the chapsare getting on?"

  '"All right," said Jim.

  '"Tell them to come down and get a drink," said Poisonous; "or, wait,you can take some beer along to them if you like," and he gave us halfa gallon of beer in a billy-can. He knew what the first drink meant withBushmen back from a long dry trip.

  'We got on our horses, I holding the billy very carefully, and rode backto where our swags were.

  '"I say," said Jim, when we'd strapped the swags to the saddles,"suppose we take the beer back to those chaps: it's meant for them, andit's only a fair thing, anyway--we've got as much as we can hold till weget into Mulgatown."

  '"It might get them into a row," I said, "and they seem decent chaps.Let's hang the billy on a twig, and that old swagman that's coming alongwill think there's angels in the Bush."

  '"Oh! what's a row?" said Jim. "They can take care of themselves;they'll have the beer anyway and a lark with Poisonous when they takethe can back and it comes to explanations. I'll ride back to them."

  'So Jim rode back to the drovers' camp with the beer, and when he cameback to me he said that the drovers seemed surprised, but they drankgood luck to him.

  'We rode round through the mulga behind the shanty and came out on theroad again on the Mulgatown side: we only stayed at Mulgatown to buysome tucker and tobacco, then we pushed on and camped for the nightabout seven miles on the safe side of the town.'