Finding Kenna (SEAL Team Hawaii Book 3)

by Susan Stoker

  Kenna thought about it for a long moment. Intellectually, she knew that he couldn’t tell her about his missions, but emotionally it was a harder concept to swallow.

  But then she thought about the last week. How much she’d laughed while talking to Marshall. How he’d made her feel special even though they hadn’t seen each other. How nice it was to have someone worried about her well-being and someone who got irritated on her behalf when she had asshole customers to deal with.

  He had a good point about the dangers of everyday life. Marshall loved what he did, that was obvious. And she had to guess he was good at it. Not only that, but as he said, his SEAL team was prepared when they were deployed. That didn’t mean they couldn’t be shot, or blown up by one of those rocket things…but she just had to have faith.

  “No,” she said, answering his question.

  Marshall sighed in relief. “Whew!” He pantomimed wiping sweat from his brow. Then he got serious. “Talk to Elodie and Lexie,” he said. “They can tell you how my team and I work since they’ve seen it firsthand. I’m sure they’d also be happy to discuss their feelings about when we’re deployed. One of the most important things for a military spouse is a support system. Having someone to call when you’re scared or worried. Someone who can commiserate with how you’re feeling and be there for you no matter what. And I can tell you with no hesitation whatsoever that both Elodie and Lexie will be that support for you.”

  Kenna stared up at him. “You sound like this will be a super long-term thing.”

  “For me? I hope it is. I’m not getting any younger, and the thought of casual dating gives me hives. I can’t see into the future. I don’t know where we’ll be a month, a year, ten years from now, but I’ll tell you this—you aren’t a fling for me, Kenna.”

  “Most guys would have a heart attack talking about a long-term relationship or, God forbid, getting married, a week into a relationship,” Kenna said.

  “I’m not most men,” Marshall said simply. “I know what’s important. Family. Friends. Relationships. Not material shit. Not being the most popular or dating as many people as possible. I want what my friends have. I want to come home from a mission knowing the woman I love is waiting for me. Knowing she’ll be just as excited to see me as I am her.”

  “Marshall,” Kenna whispered, not sure what to say.

  “Sorry. I’m not trying to freak you out. But…yeah. As far as I’m concerned, we’re dating. We’ll take things one day at a time and see what happens.”

  “Okay.”

  “Okay,” he echoed. “You ready to move on?”

  Kenna looked back at the hunk of rusting metal in the ocean in front of her. She could be afraid to get into a relationship with Marshall. Could push him away because she was scared of him getting hurt, or getting hurt emotionally herself…but that wasn’t like her. “Yeah,” she said softly.

  “Good. Because I’ve got something else kind of cool to show you. My favorite spot on the island. Although with your response to seeing this memorial, I’m kinda nervous now.”

  “Don’t be. I didn’t even know this existed, and I’m honored to have been able to see it,” Kenna said.

  “All right. You okay? Hungry? Too hot?”

  “I’m good. I wasn’t sure if we’d be eating or not, so I had a sandwich before I came.”

  Marshall grinned.

  “What?” Kenna asked.

  “You’re just so…refreshing. You’re hungry, you eat. You plan ahead. You don’t assume. I can see I’m gonna have to work hard to spoil you.”

  Kenna shrugged. “I’ve been on my own a long time. And trust me, you don’t want to be around me if I’m hungry. I turn into a raging bitch.”

  “Now that I don’t believe,” Marshall said, putting a hand on the small of her back and leading her down the walkway toward the parking lot.

  “I’m serious,” she said.

  “Noted,” Marshall said. “I’ll do my best to make sure I have snacks for you just in case.”

  Kenna smiled. “I usually have my own snacks,” she informed him.

  “Right. Then I’ll do a better job of planning our dates, letting you know if I’m going to be feeding you or not.”

  “Now I feel bad,” Kenna said. “I’m not going to waste away if I don’t eat at a specific time.”

  “I know,” Marshall said as they approached his Jeep. “Here we are.”

  He opened the door for her again and handed her the seat belt as she got settled. When he was behind the wheel once more, she blurted, “The other reason I’m scared is because you seem so…perfect.”

  Marshall chuckled as he pulled out of the lot. “I’m not perfect, Kenna. Not even close.”

  “You’ve said all the right things, opened my door, and you haven’t irritated me once. It makes me nervous.”

  “I was brought up to treat my girlfriend as if she was the most important person on Earth. My dad made sure I knew how important the little things can be in a relationship. Sure, grand gestures are nice, but it’s the everyday things that make the difference. Opening the door for you, handing you the seat belt so you don’t have to crane backward to grab it, holding your hand…those are easy. I’m positive I’ll annoy you sooner rather than later. It’s inevitable. I just hope the small things make up for it.”

  Kenna had a feeling they would.

  “What about you?” he asked.

  “What about me what?” Kenna asked in confusion.

  “From where I’m sitting, you’re pretty damn perfect yourself. You jumped into the ocean to rescue me when you thought I was drowning, everyone at Duke’s obviously respects and likes you, you’ve followed your heart even when it was probably scary to quit your job and move to Hawaii. You’re beautiful, funny, and somehow you’ve gotten me to actually enjoy texting.”

  Kenna laughed. “Point made. I’m not perfect either, Marshall.”

  “Right. So neither of us is perfect, we’re gonna screw up, but we’re building a foundation so we can weather the storms that are sure to arrive sooner or later,” Marshall said matter-of-factly.

  When he put it that way, Kenna couldn’t argue his point. And amazingly, her fears that he was somehow pulling the wool over her eyes when it came to who he really was were assuaged. “For the record…I like you opening my door for me,” Kenna said.

  Marshall shrugged. “Some people don’t. They think it’s demeaning, as if I think they can’t do it themselves.”

  “Not me. A little kindness goes a long way with me,” Kenna said. “I see people at their best and worst at work all the time. So when someone treats me with respect and kindness, I take notice.”

  Marshall smiled, and Kenna wanted to stop time. The man really was gorgeous. It was hard to believe she was sitting here with him and that he wanted a serious relationship.

  They drove around the island and Marshall pointed out the Brig, where Naval prisoners were kept; Kai Beach, the small sandy strip for residents on the island; some of the training centers and the Pearl Harbor Aviation Museum. They went by the Battleship Missouri Memorial, but instead of stopping, he said, “We’ll come back another day so you can go onboard…if you want.”

  “I do,” Kenna said immediately. She actually wanted to do some research on her own before they did that though. She felt woefully ignorant when it came to her own country’s history and had a feeling knowing the story behind the USS Missouri would make it all the more moving when she did board the ship.

  Marshall turned down a small road just before the parking area for the battleship, then turned right onto a gravel road. He parked his Jeep off to the side and shut off the engine.

  “You been out to the USS Arizona Memorial yet?”

  “Yeah, it was one of the first things I did when I moved here,” Kenna said. “It was very moving.”

  “And?”

  She wasn’t sure what he was asking, but she decided to be honest. “And it was crowded. One of the tourists threw up on the short boat ride out of
the memorial. People were talking loudly and being kind of rude.”

  Marshall nodded as if he wasn’t surprised. “Wait there,” he said, getting out of the Jeep. He walked around to her door and opened it, holding out his hand. Kenna took it and let him help her out. But instead of letting go, he tightened his hold and started walking toward a tiny path in the trees.

  Kenna followed him without question. She supposed maybe it wasn’t smart to let a man she’d only known a week lead her into what looked like a thick copse of trees, but she trusted Marshall.

  They hadn’t walked very long before he turned off the small path and headed through some bushes. Thankful she’d worn her sneakers because of the mud under her feet, Kenna ducked her head and followed Marshall’s lead without a word.

  Twenty seconds or so later, he stepped out of the undergrowth onto a rocky patch of shoreline. The tide gently lapped at the rocks and he gestured in front of him. “This is my favorite view of the memorial,” he said softly.

  Looking up, Kenna gasped. Right in front of her was the USS Arizona Memorial. The one she’d taken a boat to when she’d visited it. She was now looking at it from the other side. She could hear birds chirping and, in the distance, children playing on a playground somewhere.

  “Here, sit,” Marshall said, nodding to a large flat boulder on the shoreline.

  Without taking her eyes from the memorial, Kenna sat. It was more than obvious Marshall had been here before. He sat next to her on the rock and she leaned against him. They didn’t talk, just absorbed the view.

  After a while, Marshall spoke. “I come here sometimes when I get frustrated with the Navy. When it feels as if what I’m doing doesn’t make a difference. I look at that memorial and remember that I’m doing important work. If we can eliminate one enemy who might come over to America to try to kill as many people as he can, then what I do is worth it. If my team and I can take out a terrorist leader who might be planning a sabotage like the one that happened here in nineteen forty-one, it’s worth all the angst and hardship.

  “I’m only one man, but so were each and every one of the men who died on that ship all those years ago. They had loved ones, doubts, and they were all still serving their country on the brink of war. I respect them, and being here helps ground me.”

  Kenna gripped his hand harder. “I’m proud of you,” she told him softly. “Just like I’m proud of those men under the waves that I never knew. They had families who worried about them, worried what the war would mean for them. While I have a feeling I’ll never be all that comfortable when you head off on a mission, that doesn’t mean I’m not proud of you for doing it in the first place.”

  Marshall nodded.

  They sat on the rock, listening to the waves splashing at the shore lazily for a while longer.

  “You ready to go?” Marshall asked.

  She wasn’t, but Kenna nodded anyway. He had to get back to work and couldn’t sit out here with her all day. “Thanks for bringing me here.”

  “Anytime. I mean that. If you need a break, just let me know and I’ll bring you out here and you can hang with my homies as long as you want.”

  Kenna laughed. “Your homies? Who talks like that?”

  “Well, no one. But it made you smile,” Marshall said.

  “It did.”

  He stood and pulled her up next to him. The ground must’ve been uneven, because he seemed taller by more inches than usual. He looked down at her with an intense expression on his face.

  “What?” Kenna whispered.

  “I want to kiss you but I’m trying to decide if it would be weird. If it’s too soon.”

  “It’s not too soon,” she encouraged.

  She saw his lips quirk upward before his head lowered. Kenna went up on her tiptoes to meet him halfway.

  The second their lips met, she jolted as if she’d been tased, but she didn’t pull away.

  God, this man was lethal.

  His head tilted and one of his hands came up to rest on the nape of her neck. He didn’t grab her, didn’t force her head one way or another; his large palm just rested on her skin. Goose bumps broke out on her arms as he slowly and tenderly kissed her. His mouth sipped at hers, and when she thought she was going to go crazy, his tongue licked along the seam of her lips.

  She opened to him eagerly. Even then, he didn’t get aggressive. He lazily twirled his tongue with hers as they learned what each other liked. Truth be told, Kenna liked everything about this man. She pushed her tongue into his mouth, and he let her take control of the kiss.

  When it felt like she might pass out from lack of oxygen, Marshall finally pulled back. But his hand stayed on her nape. He stared down at her as if she was a mythical creature. “I didn’t think this place could get any more special,” he said. “I was wrong.”

  Shit. He was killing her. Instead of responding, Kenna put her cheek on his chest and leaned into him. His arms immediately went around her, holding her close. The hug felt amazing.

  She felt more than heard him sigh right before he pulled away. “You have no idea how much I hate saying this, but I need to get going.”

  “I know,” she said. “How come when something amazing is happening, time seems to race by? But when shit hits the fan, time crawls?”

  Marshall chuckled. “Right? I feel that deeply. Sometimes it feels as if our missions are weeks long when in reality they’re only days. And of course when I’m on leave, time flies.”

  Kenna smiled. “Same with crappy shifts at work. When I have obnoxious customers, they seem to sit at their table all night. And when I have lovely, kind patrons, they eat and run.”

  They smiled at each other for a moment.

  “Seriously, thanks for showing me your special spot,” Kenna said.

  “You’re welcome,” Marshall said, then he leaned down, kissed her on the forehead, and grabbed her hand once more, starting back through the bushes toward the path and the Jeep.

  Before she was ready, she was once more in the passenger seat and they were headed for the bridge. Wanting to lighten the mood, she asked, “Do you see Elodie and Lexie a lot?”

  “A decent amount. Why?” Marshall asked.

  “I just wanted them to know that people are still talking about the mysterious waitress who has connections to Jurassic Park. I think Paulo and Kaleen are spreading the rumor every shift they work, but it’s been amazing how much nicer people have been acting over the last week.”

  “I’ll make sure they know their plan was, and still is, a success. Although I’m equally sure they’d prefer to hear that from you instead of me. I can give you their numbers.”

  “That would be weird,” Kenna protested.

  “No, it wouldn’t,” Marshall countered. “Trust me, they’d love to hear from you.”

  Kenna wasn’t sure about texting people she didn’t really know, but then again, she’d really liked both women, and wouldn’t mind getting to know them better. Besides, if she really was going to date Marshall, she’d probably be seeing them more often. “Okay, I’d like that.”

  “Great.”

  Before she was ready, Marshall was pulling into the parking lot where she’d left her car. He pulled up behind it and, leaving his Jeep running, got out. Sliding out of her own seat, Kenna met him at the back of his Jeep. They walked toward her Malibu and after she’d unlocked it and put her purse inside, she turned to face him. “I had a good time.”

  “Me too.”

  “Since you showed me around today, you want to come with me on Sunday to try out a new private beach?” Kenna blurted. She’d been trying to think of how to ask him on a date, but had been nervous, which seemed silly now.

  “Yes.” His answer was short and to the point. “You’re working tonight, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  “How’s Carly doing?”

  Kenna wasn’t surprised he’d asked after her friend. “She’s okay. She’s been on edge since the protection order was delivered to Shawn, but she hasn’t see
n him.”

  “Good. Do you think he’ll come back to Duke’s?” Marshall asked.

  “I doubt it,” Kenna said honestly. “I mean, he’s not allowed within five hundred feet of her, and there would be way too many witnesses to him being there if he showed up. He’s more the type who will try to catch her at her apartment or something.”

  Marshall frowned.

  “Don’t worry, one of the guys from work has been taking her home every night. And although you probably know this, your friend, Jag, calls her every night and stays on the phone with her until she’s inside her apartment.”

  “He has?” Marshall asked.

  “You didn’t know?”

  “He hasn’t said anything.”

  “Well, he has, and she might not admit it, but I think it’s been a relief for her. Anyway, she’s okay.”

  Marshall nodded. “Well, if you do happen to see that asshole, don’t hesitate to call the cops and they’ll come throw his ass in jail.”

  “I will.”

  “Let me know when you get home?” Marshall asked.

  Kenna smiled and nodded.

  Marshall reached out and ran his hand along the side of her head, smoothing her hair back. “For the record, I’d like to kiss you again, but since I’m in uniform and we’re in a public place, it’s probably not a good idea.”

  “Public displays of affection aren’t allowed when you’re in uniform?” Kenna asked with a frown.

  “No, it’s not that. But your lips are addicting and I probably wouldn’t be able to stop.”

  Kenna smiled. “Oh.”

  “Yeah, oh. Can I pick you up on Sunday? Or do you want me to meet you somewhere?”

  “If it’s not too much trouble, you can pick me up,” she told him, feeling somewhat shy. It was a big step forward in their relationship to give him her address, whether he knew it or not. But she should’ve known he’d realize it.

  “I swear you won’t regret letting me in,” he said, rubbing his thumb against her cheek gently.

  “Is eleven o’clock all right?” she asked, not sure what else to say.