She blinked rapidly, his sympathy softening her heart, making her feel a thousand kinds of vulnerable. “You stole my line,” she muttered. “I was about to say sorry to you.”
“What for?”
“Um, the whole ‘you being arrested’ thing,” she reminded him.
“God, don’t even worry about it. It was kind of exciting, actually.”
“Exciting?” she spat, shaking her head in disbelief.
“Sure. I mean, I knew I was innocent, so the whole process was sort of an out of body experience. I had no doubt the truth would come out and I’d be free, so I just sat back and enjoyed the ride.”
“Geez. I wish I could have even a pinch of your perspective.”
“It sounds like you kept a level-head pretty well yourself.”
She grimaced. “Maybe. Have you heard –,”
“Nothing more than you, I’m sure. Sounds like an open shut case. He’ll be locked up a long time.”
She shuddered, even the thought of that something she couldn’t really contemplate.
“Do you –,” she bit down on her lip midway through making the offer.
Edward arched a brow.
“Did you want to come in for a cup of tea?”
“Sure. I’ve got ten minutes.”
It was an innocent, spontaneous invitation, but as she crossed to her gate, past the guard who was part of a five man team that had been watching her house for the last week, and saw the uniform logo on his shirt – Storm Security – she couldn’t help wondering if news of her visitor would filter back to Noah. And how he’d feel about it. If he’d even care. And her heart was racing just as hard and fast as if she were still running, full pelt, towards an ever-changing finishing line.
“Catch!”
Noah lifted a hand as the ball sailed towards him, landing it between two palms.
“You got it!”
His business partner’s son, two years old and made of chubby arms and legs and a big broad grin, ran towards Noah, arms up, reaching for the ball. Noah mimed throwing it and then passed it to the little boy.
“There you go.”
“Again!”
“Sure,” Noah agreed, watching as the little dynamo spun and began to toddle back to where he’d been a moment ago. Turning to Ashton, he lifted his brows. “He’s got quite an arm.”
“Yeah, tell me about it.” Ashton mimed rubbing his cheek. “Think he’s headed to play pro football one day.”
The ball sailed through the air, and would have landed hard against Noah’s chest if it weren’t for his quick reactions. He caught it and quickly returned it, pitching it close to the toddler’s feet.
The little boy laughed, and then fell over in his attempts to capture it, laughing uproariously.
Noah turned with Ashton, and began to walk towards the house. “He’s so like you.”
“Yeah, poor kid,” Ashton grinned, with such obvious pride that Noah looked away, a heavy feeling landing hard in his gut.
“How’s Suzie?”
“About eleven months pregnant, if you ask her.”
“Over it?”
“Completely. Not long to go now.”
Noah nodded, happy for his friend, even when he couldn’t get his head around how Ashton had transformed himself into this dedicated family man. It was something he’d wondered over the years, in a casual, curious way, but suddenly, he had to know. It was no longer an abstract concept, but something very real he needed to understand, something he was trying hard to grapple with.
“You and Suzie are happy?”
“I think you pronounced exhausted wrong,” Ashton volleyed back as a ball hit him in the back of the head, but his smile showed the truth of his feelings. He whirled around, gripped Tommy’s little tummy and tossed him into the air, so laughter pealed through the garden.
“You break it, you bought it!” Suzie’s voice sing-songed out of the kitchen windows.
“This one’s too much trouble!” Ashton called back. “Laughs too much and throws balls at my head. Can I get another one?”
Suzie flashed a grin. “No refunds, sorry.”
“I guess I’ll have to keep you,” Ashton mock-sighed, tickling Tommy’s tummy so he backflipped in Ashton’s arms, almost knocking the man in the chin.
Ashton slid him down to the ground. “Okay, young man. Go wash up. Dinner’s almost ready.”
“You stay dinner, Uncle Noah?” Tommy asked in his adorable little voice and halting English.
“Depends. Did your dad cook?”
Tommy frowned. “No. Daddy not cook.”
“Only because I want to keep my family alive,” Ashton grinned.
“Yeah, I’m staying then,” Noah nodded. “See you at the table.” He high-fived the little boy and watched as he made his way up the stairs with a disarming mix of vulnerability and confidence.
When they walked inside, Tommy was just finishing setting the table – or rather laying the cutlery out in a slightly haphazard pattern that Noah pretended not to notice. The meal passed as it always did when they were together – with barely a quiet moment. Noah listened as Suzie and Ashton bantered back and forth, arguing about everything from the right condiment to serve with pot roast to the state of world political affairs, reminding Noah that when Suzie wasn’t a delicious dinner cooking, baby-making super-mum she was also a top lawyer at an international political firm.
Later, alone on the terrace, Ashton fixed Noah with a steady gaze. “What’s going on with you, anyway?”
“What do you mean?”
“You were quiet at dinner. And you asked about Suzie and me before. So, what’s up?”
Noah clenched visibly. “Nothing. I was just curious.”
“Nah, I don’t buy it.”
“You’re different to how you used to be. I never would have picked you as wanting all this.” He gestured to the house, the garden, and the glow of warmth emanating from the windows, a glow that spoke of happy contentment and domesticity.
“I didn’t want it. Not at all. Not until I met Suzie, then it was all I could live for.”
Noah frowned. “Why?” The question was asked with an urgent intensity.
“Jesus Christ, if I didn’t know better, I’d say you’d met someone.”
Noah was silent.
“But you’re Noah Storm. I know that’s not possible.”
“No.” Noah’s voice was grim. “It’s not possible.”
“Oh, shut the hell up. Who is she?”
“No one.”
Ashton was quiet for a long while, and then he expelled a heavy breath. “All I can say is this: when I met Suze, it was like being struck by lightning. Everything the books tell you, the movies, the songs, all that stuff. But so much more. I just lost myself to her in every way, and I didn’t even care. I would have given up everything I was for her to smile at me, to look at me, to want me like I wanted her. All of a sudden the life I was living, the future I had banked on, seemed completely devoid of substance. Nothing was enough anymore, without Suzie to share it with.”
Noah stiffened, his eyes pinpointing a tree in the distance. “So what did you do?”
“I told her how I felt and prayed like hell she’d feel it back.” He laughed unsteadily. “And now I pray every day I don’t stuff it up somehow.”
Noah gripped the railing tighter, his features a vice-like mask.
“So what are you going to do?”
“This isn’t about me.”
“Isn’t it?”
Noah kept his gaze straight ahead.
“Look, man.” Ashton’s voice was earnest. “You don’t have to tell me what’s on your mind. I get it, you’re a closed book kinda guy. But for as long as I’ve known you, you’ve had this hard shell around you. If you’ve met someone you want to let inside of that, then she must be one hell of a woman. Not the kind of woman you want to let go, right?”
Noah frowned, but didn’t answer.
“I’ll tell you something else I’ve lear
ned – in life, and in our business, the work we do.”
“What’s that?” Noah begrudgingly asked.
“You only get one chance. Don’t stuff it up.”
Chapter 13
“NOAH? WHAT ARE YOU doing here?”
“We need to talk.” Noah’s voice was gruff, probably owing to the fact he’d barely slept in the last forty eight hours.
“I’m on my way out –,”
“It won’t take long.”
Gray Fortescue sent his old friend a look of impatience then nodded curtly. “Fine. Come in.”
Noah had been to Gray’s townhouse enough times to be comfortable there. He strode through the entrance way, into the lounge area, then pressed his hands into the back pockets of his jeans.
“What’s up?”
Gray’s voice held an edge of wariness.
“It’s about Max.”
“I gathered,” Gray drawled.
“The thing is, you were right. There was something going on between us, but I ended it. Your opinion matters to me. Our friendship matters to me.”
Gray was silent.
“Relationships, women, love, all that crap, it’s never been my bag. You know that, I know that. I get why you freaked out when you saw us together.”
“Did I freak out?”
“Yeah.”
“Fine. She’s my sister.”
“I know that. But if Max wants to be with me, that’s not really any of your business.”
Gray glowered.
“But at the same time, you’re my friend, and I wanted to do you the courtesy of telling you I love her. That I’m going to tell her I love her, and if she’s crazy enough to love me back then I want to make a life with her, because the truth is, I can’t imagine mine without her in it.”
Gray stood very still for a long moment, then turned and moved to the fridge, pulling out a mineral water and a beer. He cracked the tops then slid the mineral water across the counter towards Noah.
“So what? Are you asking me for my permission to date her or something?”
Noah let out a rough belly laugh. “I think we both know she’d kill us for having that conversation about her, right?”
Gray grinned. “Sounds about right.”
“This isn’t about your permission. I’m going to tell her I love her. But I’m here as a courtesy, because I care about you, and I don’t want anything that happens between her and me to piss you off. I love her, man. I’ve never said those words to anyone before, but I feel like I’m going to burst if I don’t tell her how I feel. Enough’s enough.”
Gray’s lips tugged downwards in a tight frown. “Have you spoken to her since you left?”
“No.” Noah threw back half the mineral water. “I needed some time to sort my head out. I don’t want to feel this way about her. I’ve fought it basically since I first met her. But I love her, and apparently that’s not something I have any say in.”
Gray considered that.
“You don’t approve?”
“It’s not that,” he said heavily. “It’s just –,”
“What?”
“She’s pretty pissed at you.”
Noah’s gut twisted. He was at the edge of the ravine again, a steep, impossible fall right before him. “Yeah?”
“Furious. I don’t think you’re going to find it easy to get her to listen to you.”
Noah finished his drink. “Thanks for the heads up.”
“I mean it, Noah. She felt like you pulled the rug out from under her.”
“And I guess you haven’t enlightened her as to our conversation?”
“I know you. If you’d loved her, or wanted to be with her, you’d have stayed, no matter what I said.”
“I was an idiot,” Noah growled. “I didn’t have any idea how I felt. I didn’t know what the weight pressing against my chest meant, but hell, I’ve realized since. I have thought about her every hour of every day since I left.”
“Then you’d better go try your luck.”
Noah nodded, tension radiating through him. What if Max didn’t want him? What if she told him to go to hell?
Then at least he’d know. He had to do this. There was never an easy way from the earth to the stars…
“I need to go home before the event, Felix.” Max stifled a yawn as she slid into the backseat of her car, scrolling through her emails and flicking aside the ones she could attend to later. She’d been in the office for twelve hours, and the thought of going to a restaurant opening tonight was almost bone-wearying but she didn’t contemplate, even for one moment, backing out. She’d committed to go, for a start, but on top of that, if Max had learned anything in the past two weeks it was that staying busy was the only way to keep sane. If she was home, or alone, without work or distraction, it was too easy for her mind to wander, to focus on memories that brought her no joy. Or perhaps it was that they brought her too much joy and were therefore immensely painful: there was no scope to sink into those reflections and enjoy them as snippets of her past. Too much pain flooded through her whenever she thought of Noah, and so she blocked him from her mind as much as possible.
She leaned back against the luxurious leather seat, forcing herself to focus, forcing herself not to think about Noah when he was everything she saw and thought. As the car turned into her street, she switched off her phone and pushed it into her bag, turning to look out of the window.
Everything at home reminded her of Noah. Everything. And she tormented herself by staying, when it would have been easier to leave, to go to one of her homes that they’d never been to together, to spend the summer in Rome or Berlin, Sydney or Cape Town, anywhere other than Chelsea, where he was in the kitchen, the lounge, her bedroom, everywhere.
A soft moan filled her mouth and she swallowed it back, refusing to let anyone, especially her driver, see what an emotional wreck she was.
The car drew through her gate, and into the garage; Max placed her hand on the door, prepared to step from the car as soon as it was parked. The engine was cut – she pushed open the door, aware of her driver stepping out and coming around. No, she wanted to scream. Leave me alone. She just needed a moment to feel shell-shocked, to be numb, to gather herself back together again before putting her mask on and pretending to all the world that she was the same Max Fortescue she’d always been – untouchable, unaffected, totally fine.
“It’s okay, Felix. I’ve got it.”
She didn’t look at him, wishing she’d pulled on a pair of sunglasses to cover her eyes. She kept her head bent instead, not looking at his face as she made her way through the garage and into the door of her house, upstairs. “I won’t be long,” she called over her shoulder. “I just need to have a shower and get changed.” Damn it, her voice wobbled a little, emotions clear in every syllable. She swallowed hard, bee-lining to the kitchen where she opened the fridge and stared aimlessly at the display before shutting it again, turning around just as someone stepped into the living room.
Her lips parted on a gasp of confusion. It wasn’t Felix who followed, but Noah Bloody Storm, dressed in the same clothes as her driver – wait. “You drove me here,” she murmured, numb, holding her arms around her torso, unprepared for this, not ready, not sure of anything except her body’s immediate response – to run towards him and throw herself at his chest, to feel his arms wrap around her, to hear him tell her, one more time, that everything was okay. That everything would be fine.
It was a neediness of which she didn’t approve, a craving she didn’t want to feel.
“Noah?” Her voice was louder than she intended. “What the hell are you doing here?”
“I wanted to see you.” The words were graveled. She dug her fingernails into her palms, resenting the sensual heat that fired through her at the sound of his voice.
“Why?” She changed her mind on the drink front, turning back to the fridge and pulling out a bottle of wine, pouring a generous measure into a Riedel glass which she slammed a little too heavily
onto the counter. “Haven’t we said everything we need to say? Oh, no, that’s right. You left too abruptly for that. So what else is there?”
She threw back a gulp of the wine.
“Or is this less about talking and more about sex? Are you here for a booty call, Noah? Do you want to go upstairs and make love then disappear?” She took another sip. “Not love,” she corrected, with a self-scathing roll of her eyes. “Silly me. There was nothing loving about what we did, was there?”
The side of his jaw clenched. “I realise I hurt you.”
Her eyes flashed. “Hurt me? No. You made a fool of me, that’s not the same thing.”
“A fool of you? How?”
She clamped her lips together. She had no intention of telling him the truth – that she had let herself dream of so much more than he’d ever offered.
“You’re right,” she murmured caustically. “You didn’t make a fool of me; I did that all to myself.”
“How? Why?”
She finished the wine, her throat stinging with the acidity of the drink.
“It doesn’t matter now. It’s in the past, right?”
He came around the kitchen bench, but stilled when Max threw him a warning glance. It was all too familiar, reminding her of their last morning, when she’d come into the kitchen thinking of a future they might share in some way and discovering that he was leaving, with no intention of seeing her ever again.
“If it was in the past, would I be standing here right now?”
“I don’t know why you’re standing here.”
“Don’t you?”
She shook her head slowly, unwilling to even guess.
“There’s no easy way to tell you this.”
Her eyes widened and her heart sunk to her toes. “What?” Panic flooded her. Was he hurt? Sick? Was something wrong? Was it something with Gray? “Just say it, Noah.”
“All I wanted was to keep you safe,” he ground out. “To do a favour for a friend.”
Her stomach rolled. “I know that.”
“And then I met you and everything changed.” A frown caused his brows to knit together, a crease forming on his forehead. “Everything. My world, my life, my priorities, my thoughts on you, the universe, everything I wanted. I met you and all of a sudden, you’re all I can think of.” His throat chorded as he swallowed. “You’re all I want.”
Never Mine: The Rich List Book 1 Page 15
