Roxana
Page 14
But after several Debates between ourselves, he came to this Resulution, viz. that he wou’d travel Incognito, and so he shou’d avoid all publick Notice, either of himself, or of who went with him; and that then he shou’d not only carry me with him, but have a perfect Leisure of enjoying my agreeable Company, (as he was pleas’d to call it) all the Way.
This was so obliging, that nothing cou’d be more; so upon this Foot, he immediately set to Work to prepare things for his Journey; and by his Directions, so did I too: But now I had a terrible Difficulty upon me, and which way to get over it, I knew not; and that was, in what Manner to take Care of what I had to leave behind me; I was Rich, as I have said, very Rich, and what to do with it, I knew not, nor who to leave in Trust, I knew not; I had no-body but Amy, in the World, and to travel without Amy, was very uncomfortable; or to leave all I had in the World with her, and if she miscarried, be ruin’d at once, was still a frightful Thought; for Amy might die, and whose Hands things might fall into, I knew not: This gave me great Uneasiness, and I knew not what to do; for I could not mention it to the Prince, lest he should see that I was richer than he thought I was.
But the Prince made all this easie to me; for in concerting Measures for our Journey, he started the thing himself, and ask’d me merrily one Evening, who I wou’d trust with all my Wealth, in my Absence?
My Wealth, my Lord, said I, except what I owe to your Goodness, is but small; but yet, that little I have, I confess, causes some Thoughtfulness; because I have no Acquaintance in Paris, that I dare trust with it, nor anybody but my Woman, to leave in the House; and how to do without her upon the Road, I do not well know.
As to the Road, be not concern’d, says the Prince, I’ll provide you Servants to your Mind; and as for your Woman, if you can trust her, leave her here, and I’ll put you in a Way how to secure things, as well as if you were at Home: I bow’d, and told him, I cou’d not be put into better hands than his own, and that therefore, I wou’d govern all my Measures by his Directions; so we talk’d no more of it that Night.
The next Day he sent me in a great Iron Chest, so large, that it was as much as six lusty Fellows could get up the Steps, into the House; and in this I put, indeed, all my Wealth; and for my Safety, he order’d a good honest ancient Man and his Wife, to be in the House with her, to keep her Company, and a Maid-Servant, and Boy; so that there was a good Family, and Amy was Madam, the Mistress of the House.
Things being thus secur’d, we set out Incog.117 as he call’d it; but we had two Coaches and Six Horses; two Chaises; and about eight Men-Servants on Horseback, all very well Arm’d.
Never was woman better us’d in this World, that went upon no other Account than I did; I had three Women-Servants to wait on me, one whereof was an old Madam —, who thorowly understood her Business, and manag’d every thing, as if she had been Major Domo; so I had no Trouble; they had one Coach to themselves, and the Prince and I in the other; only that sometimes, where he knew it necessary, I went into their Coach; and one particular Gentleman of the Retinue rode with him.
I shall say no more of the Journey, than that when we came to those frightful Mountains, the Alps; there was no travelling in our Coaches, so he order’d a Horse-Litter, but carried by Mules, to be provided for me, and himself went on Horseback; the Coaches went some other Way back to Lyons; then we had coaches hir’d at Turin, which met us at Susa; so that we were accommodated again, and went by easie Journeys afterwards, to Rome, where his Business, whatever it was, call’d him to stay some time; and from thence to Venice.
He was as good as his Word, indeed; for I had the Pleasure of his Company, and in a word, engross’d his Conversation almost all the Way: He took Delight in showing me every thing that was to be seen, and particularly, in telling me something of the History of every thing he show’d me.
What valuable Pains were here thrown away upon One, who he was sure, at last, to abandon with Regret! How below himself, did a Man of Quality, and of a thousand Accomplishments, behave in all this! ’Tis one of my Reasons for entring into this Part, which otherwise wou’d not be worth relating: Had I been a Daughter, or a Wife, of whom it might be said, that he had a just Concern in their Instruction, or Improvement, it had been an admirable Step; but all this to a Whore! to one who he carried with him upon no Account, that could be rationally agreeable; and none but to gratifie the meanest of humane Frailties: This was the Wonder of it.
But such is the Power of a vicious Inclination; Whoring was, in a Word, his Darling Crime; the worst Excursion he made; for he was otherwise, one of the most excellent Persons in the World; no Passions; no furious Excursions;118 no ostentatious Pride; the most humble, courteous, affable Person in the World; not an Oath; not an indecent Word, or the least Blemish in Behaviour, was to be seen in all his Conversation, except as before excepted; and it has given me Occasion for many dark Reflections since; to look back and think, that I should be the Snare of such a Person’s Life; that I should influence him to so much Wickedness; and that I should be the Instrument in the Hand of the Devil, to do him so much Prejudice.
We were near two Year upon this Grand Tour, as it may be call’d, during most of which, I resided at Rome, or at Venice, having only been twice at Florence, and once at Naples: I made some very diverting and useful Observations in all these Places; and particularly, of the Conduct of the Ladies; for I had Opportunity to converse very much among them, by the Help of the old Witch that travell’d with us; she had been at Naples, and at Venice, and had liv’d in the former, several Years, where, as I found, she had liv’d but a loose Life, as indeed, the Women of Naples generally do; and, in short, I found she was fully acquainted with all the intrieguing Arts of that Part of the World.
Here my Lord bought me a little Female Turkish Slave, who being Taken at Sea by a Malthese Man of War, was brought in there; and of her I learnt the Turkish Language; their Way of Dressing, and Dancing, and some Turkish, or rather Moorish Songs, of which I made Use, to my Advantage, on an extraordinary Occasion, some Years after, as you shall hear in its Place. I need not say I learnt Italian too, for I got pretty well Mistress of that, before I had been there a Year; and as I had Leisure enough, and lov’d the Language, I read all the Italian Books I cou’d come at.
I began to be so in Love with Italy, especially with Naples and Venice, that I cou’d have been very well satisfied to have sent for Amy, and have taken up my Residence there for Life.
As to Rome, I did not like it at-all: The Swarms of Ecclesiasticks of all Kinds, on one side, and the scoundrel Rabbles of the Common People, on the other, make Rome the unpleasantest Place in the World, to live in; the innumerable Number of Valets, Lacqueys, and other Servants, is such, that they us’d to say, that there are very few of the Common People in Rome, but what have been Footmen, or Porters, or Grooms to Cardinals, or Foreign Ambassadors: In a Word, they have an Air of sharping and couzening,119 quarrelling and scolding, upon their general Behaviour; and when I was there, the Footmen made such a Broil between two Great Families in Rome, about which of their Coaches (the Ladies being in the Coaches on either side,) shou’d give Way to t’other; that there was above thirty People wounded on both Sides; five or six kill’d outright; and both the Ladies frighted almost to Death.
But I have no-Mind to write the History of my Travels on this side of the World, at least, not now; it would be too full of Variety.
I must not, however, omit, that the Prince continued in all this Journey, the most kind, obliging Person to me, in the World, and so constant, that tho’ we were in a Country, where ’tis well known all manner of Liberties are taken, I am yet well assur’d, he neither took the Liberty he knew he might have, or so much as desir’d it.
I have often thought of this Noble Person, on that Account; had he been but half so true, so faithful and constant to the Best Lady in the World, I mean his Princess; how glorious a Virtue had it been in him? and how free had he been from those just Reflections which touch’d him, in her behalf, when it was too
late.
We had some very agreeable Conversations upon this Subject; and once he told me, with a kind of more than ordinary Concern upon his Thoughts, that he was greatly beholden to me for taking this hazardous and difficult Journey; for that I had kept him Honest; I look’d up in his Face, and colour’d as red as Fire: Well, well, says he, do not let that surprize you; I do say, you have kept me Honest: My Lord, said I, ’tis not for me to explain your Words, but I wish I cou’d turn ’em my own Way; I hope, says I, and believe, we are both as Honest as we can be, in our Circumstances; ay, ay, says he, and honester than I doubt I shou’d have been, if you had not been with me; I cannot say but if you had not been here, I shou’d have wander’d among the gay World here, in Naples, and in Venice too; for ’tis not such a Crime here, as ’tis in other Places; but I protest, says he, I have not touch’d a Woman in Italy, but yourself; and more than that, I have not so much as had any Desire to it; so that, I say, you have kept me Honest.
I was silent, and was glad that he interrupted me, or kept me from speaking, with kissing me, for really I knew not what to say: I was once going to say, that if his Lady, the Princess, had been with him, she wou’d, doubtless, have had the same Influence upon his Virtue, with infinitely more Advantage to him; but I consider’d this might give him Offence; and besides, such things might have been dangerous to the Circumstance I stood in, so it pass’d off: But I must confess, I saw that he was quite another Man, as to Women, than I understood he had always been before; and it was a particular Satisfaction to me, that I was thereby convinc’d that what he said, was true, and that he was, as I may say, all my Own.
I was with-Child again in this Journey, and Lay-in at Venice, but was not so happy as before; I brought him another Son, and a very fine Boy it was, but it liv’d not above two Months; nor, after the first Touches of Affection (which are usual, I believe, to all Mothers) were over, was I sorry the Child did not live, the necessary Difficulties attending it in our travelling, being consider’d.
After these several Perambulations, my Lord told me, his Business began to close, and we wou’d think of returning to France; which I was very glad of, but principally on Account of my Treasure I had there, which, as you have heard, was very considerable: It is true, I had Letters very frequently from my Maid Amy, with Accounts, that every thing was very safe, and that was very much to my Satisfaction: However, as the Prince’s Negociations were at an End, and he was oblig’d to return, I was very glad to go; so we return’d from Venice to Turin; and in the Way, I saw the famous City of Milan; from Turin, we went over the Mountains again, as before, and our Coaches met us at Pont a Voisin,120 between Chamberry and Lyons; and so, by easie Journeys, we arriv’d safely at Paris, having been absent about two Years, wanting about eleven Days, as above.
I found the little Family we left, just as we left them; and Amy cry’d for Joy, when she saw me, and I almost did the same.
The Prince took his Leave of me the Night before; for as he told me, he knew he shou’d be met upon the Road by several Persons of Quality, and perhaps, by the Princess herself; so we lay at two different Inns that Night, lest some shou’d come quite to the Place, as indeed, it happen’d.
After this, I saw him not, for above twenty Days, being taken-up in his Family, and also with Business; but he sent me his Gentleman, to tell me the Reason of it; and bid me not be uneasie; and that satisfied me effectually.
In all this Affluence of my Good Fortune, I did not forget that I had been Rich and Poor once already, alternately; and that I ought to know, that the Circumstances I was now in, were not to be expected to last always; that I had one Child, and expected another; and if I bred often, it wou’d something impair me in the Great Article that supported my Interest, I mean, what he call’d Beauty; that as that declin’d, I might expect the Fire wou’d abate, and the Warmth with which I was now so carress’d, wou’d cool, and in time, like the other Mistresses of Great Men, I might be dropt again; and that, therefore, it was my Business to take Care that I shou’d fall as softly as I cou’d.
I say, I did not forget, therefore, to make as good Provision for myself, as if I had had nothing to have subsisted on, but what I now gain’d; whereas I had not less than ten Thousand Pounds, as I said above, which I had amass’d, or secur’d, rather out of the Ruins of my faithful Friend, the Jeweller; and which, he little thinking of what was so near him when he went out, told me, tho’ in a kind of a Jest, was all my own, if he was knock’d o’th’ Head; and which, upon that Title, I took Care to preserve.
My greatest Difficulty now, was, how to secure my Wealth, and to keep what I had got; for I had greatly added to this Wealth, by the generous Bounty of the Prince —, and the more, by the private retir’d Manner of Living, which he rather desir’d for Privacy, than Parsimony; for he supply’d me for a more magnificent Way of Life than I desir’d, if it had been proper.
I shall cut short the History of this properous Wickedness, with telling you I brought him a third Son, with in little more than eleven Months after our Return from Italy; that now I liv’d a little more openly, and went by a particular Name which he gave me Abroad; but which I must omit: viz. the Countess de —, and had Coaches, and Servants, suitable to the Quality he had given me the Appearance of; and which is more than usually happens in such Cases, this held eight Years from the Beginning; during which Time, as I had been very faithful to him, so, I must say, as above, that I believe he was so separated to me, that whereas he usually had two or three Women, which he kept privately, he had not in all that Time meddled with any of them, but that I had so perfectly engross’d him, that he dropt them all; not, perhaps, that he sav’d much by it, for I was a very chargable Mistress to him, that I must acknowledge; but it was all owing to his particular Affection to me, not to my Extravagance; for, as I said, he never gave me leave to ask him for any thing, but pour’d in his Favours and Presents faster than I expected, and so fast, as I could not have the Assurance to make the least Mention of desiring more.
Nor do I speak this of my own Guess, I mean, about his Constancy to me, and his quitting all other Women; but the old Harradan, as I may call her, who he made the Guide of our Travelling, and who was a strange old Creature, told me a Thousand Stories of his Gallantry, as she call’d it, and how, as he had no less than three Mistresses at one time, and, as I found, all of her procuring, he had of a sudden, dropt them all, and that he was entirely lost to both her and them; that they did believe he had fallen into some new Hands, but she could never hear who, or where, till he sent for her to go this Journey; and then the old Hag complimented me upon his Choice, That she did not wonder I had so engross’d him; so much Beauty, &c. and there she stopt.
Upon the whole, I found by her, what was, you may be sure, to my particular Satisfaction, viz. that, as above, I had him all my own.
But the highest Tide has its Ebb; and in all things of this Kind, there is a Reflux which sometimes also is more impetuously violent than the first Aggression: My Prince was a Man of a vast Fortune, tho’ no Sovereign, and therefore there was no Probability that the Expence of keeping a Mistress could be injurious to him, as to his Estate; he had also several Employments, both out of France, as well as in it; for, as above, I say, he was not a Subject of France, tho’ he liv’d in that Court: He had a Princess, a Wife, with whom he had liv’d several Years, and a Woman (so the Voice of Fame reported) the most valuable of her Sex; of Birth equal to him, if not superior, and of Fortune proportionable; but in Beauty, Wit, and a thousand good Qualities, superiour not to most Women, but even to all her Sex; and as to her Virtue, the Character, which was most justly her due, was that of, not only the best of Princesses, but even the best of Women.
They liv’d in the utmost Harmony, as with such a Princess it was impossible to be otherwise; but yet the Princess was not insensible that her Lord had his Foibles; that he did make some Excursions; and particularly, that he had one Favourite Mistress which sometimes engross’d him more than she (the Princess) cou’d wish, or
be easily satisfied with: However, she was so good, so generous, so truly kind a Wife, that she never gave him any Uneasiness on this Account; except so much as must arise from his Sence of her bearing the Affront of it with such Patience, and such a profound Respect for him, as was in itself enough to have reform’d him, and did sometimes shock his generous Mind, so as to keep him at Home, as I may call it, a great-while together; and it was not long before I not only perceiv’d it by his Absence, but really got a Knowledge of the Reason of it, and once or twice he even acknowleg’d it to me.
It was a Point that lay not in me to manage; I made a kind of Motion, once or twice, to him, to leave me, and keep himself to her, as he ought by the Laws and Rites of Matrimony to do, and argued the Generosity of the Princess to him, to perswade him; but I was a Hypocrite; for had I prevail’d with him really to be honest, I had lost him, which I could not bear the Thoughts of; and he might easily see I was not in earnest; one time in particular, when I took upon me to talk at this rate, I found when I argued so much for the Virtue and Honour, the Birth, and above all, the generous Usage he found in the Person of the Princess, with respect to his private Amours, and how it should prevail upon him, &c. I found it began to affect him, and he return’d, And do you indeed, says he, perswade me to leave you? Would you have me think you sincere? I look’d up in his Face, smiling, Not for any other Favourite, my Lord, said I; that wou’d break my Heart; but for Madam, the Princess! said I, and then I could say no more, Tears follow’d, and I sat silent a-while: Well, said he, if ever I do leave you, it shall be on the Virtuous Account; it shall be for the Princess, I assure you it shall be for no other Woman; That’s enough, my Lord, said I, There I ought to submit; and while I am assur’d it shall be for no other Mistress, I promise Your Highness, I will not repine; or that, if I do, it shall be a silent Grief, it shall not interrupt your Felicity.