The Sweetest Secret

by Jacquie Underdown

‘Mm-hmm,’ Mitch said, not attempting to hide his disbelief. ‘Come on, we better get going.’

  Sam kissed Sophie again and placed her back in her highchair. She screeched, her arms jutting up into the air for Sam to pick her back up. His chest tightened.

  He hated when she did this. If he had any choice, he’d hang around longer, at least until Sophie got sick of him and he could sneak out.

  He kissed her head and whispered, ‘I’ll see you this arvo.’

  Sophie shrieked again, head rolling back as she cried, her face turning bright pink. Sam backed away to let Mitch say goodbye, only for him to be greeted by the same flailing arms and cries. Mitch fixed Sam with a withering look.

  ‘What?’ It wasn’t like he intended Sophie to act up.

  Mitch shook his head and frowned.

  ‘We’ll be okay. Y’all just head off,’ Georgia said.

  Down in the car as Sam started the engine, he felt Mitch’s stare on him. He closed his eyes and groaned. ‘What?’

  ‘Nothing.’

  Sam slumped and turned in his seat to face Mitch. ‘You obviously want to say something. Tell me.’

  Mitch sighed. ‘I was just going to say that you can’t let one girlfriend destroy your life. It was a long time ago.’

  Sam held his hand up, shaking his head. ‘Nope. This stops here. We’re men. This “feelings” shit is a no-go zone.’

  ‘Because you’re scared.’

  Anger seared in Sam’s chest. If he was called scared by one other person, he was going to punch them.

  ‘I understand,’ continued Mitch. ‘Believe me, the thought of loving someone else again after Rachel … It scares the living hell out of me.’

  Sam shook his head. ‘Not the same deal.’

  ‘No, not the same. But the consequences are.’

  ‘Can we just drop this? Between you and Tom, anyone would think my love life is up for public scrutiny.’

  Again a long sigh. ‘Look, with Dad out of the picture and Mum in no state to say anything, I think it’s my responsibility to talk about this stuff. You’re not happy, Sam. I can see it. You spend every waking moment in that glasshouse—’

  ‘You know how I feel about gardening—’

  ‘In between bringing random women home to fu—’

  ‘Enough!’ Sam shouted, banging on the steering wheel. The horn blasted a quick, loud honk. The last thing he needed was his life thrown back in his face as though it was something to scorn.

  He rubbed hard at his chin, his breaths heavy. ‘Do you think I like this? Do you think this is how I truly want things to be? I can’t make the next step. I’ve tried. I can’t. And I don’t want to.’ That last part wasn’t entirely truthful, but that was the magic of being able to seamlessly lie to oneself.

  Mitch frowned. ‘Fine.’

  Sam arched a brow. ‘Fine? That’s it?’

  ‘Yep. That’s it. I can’t force common sense into a dimwit.’

  Sam shoved the car into first gear and released the hand brake. ‘Good to know how you really feel.’ He slammed his foot on the accelerator, the car skidding as he performed a U-turn.

  Anyone would think his brothers had a secret way of seeing into his head. The first time in his adult life he started to question his own love life, they sensed his vulnerability and thought they could jump on board adding their unwanted two cents.

  He understood their intentions were good, but it infuriated the hell out of him.

  Rain pelted on the windscreen. The wipers screeched across the window in a quick tune. Sam’s stomach pulled tightly, and his chest ached with heavy emotion.

  It was moments like these he wished his mum wasn’t sick, at least he’d have someone to talk to about all this. Or his dad, but he’d been gone seven years this summer.

  Both his parents knew of ‘the ordeal’. It was how he labelled that particular relationship that fucked his life up. An overarching label meant he could avoid focusing on anything specific in case doing so dug up the dirty, buried memories and scattered the mud, shit and rubbish all over him again.

  His brothers knew the general facts about what had happened. But no-one knew the nitty-gritty details. The moments upon moments upon many more moments that when combined had the potential to pull him so deeply into a gloom, he wondered if he were capable of taking a breath.

  He’d sometimes imagine conversations with his father, and he knew if he went to him now and spoke all that was on his mind, Dad would put his arm around his shoulder, draw him close and say, ‘Mate, you’re a grown man. Yes, women are scary, and I know you’ve been hurt, but there isn’t one person suffering right now but you. Does that answer your question well enough?’

  Sam sighed. Yes, Dad, loud and clear.

  Chapter 7

  By mid-morning Monday, Ellie had fifteen people apply for the position she advertised over the weekend. By Monday afternoon, she had hired a new employee: Janine, a nineteen-year-old university student who had been looking for a local, part-time job since leaving school.

  Ellie was only hiring her to work from eleven to three each day to make the delivery runs and assist in the shop in between.

  Janine was bubbly, friendly and had a laugh so jovial that during the interview, Ellie’s mouth was sore from smiling. How could she have not hired her on the spot?

  And what a difference she made. After coaching Janine on Tuesday on how to take orders by phone and showing her how to run deliveries, by Wednesday afternoon, the hurried anxiety in Ellie’s body fled and the excitement of running her own florist shop returned.

  She had more time for creativity, rather than rushing to build bouquets and arrangements. And that was why she was attracted to this profession in the first place—it was a wonderfully creative outlet that allowed for ample usage of her endless imagination.

  In a way, she was destined for this career. Even as a child, she would spend hours at her craft table, creating pom-poms made from wool, wicker baskets weaved from long strips of newspaper, collages of pictures cut from magazines, and anything else she could muster cheap materials for.

  Crafting was meditative—a way to get out of her own head for hours on end. Floristry was like that for her now. She was never more in the zone than when she was creating unique, textural floral arrangements.

  Friday afternoon, Ellie left Janine to man the shop for a few moments while she rushed next door to Love and Cupcakes to talk to Amy.

  Ellie waited for the customers that were already in the store, a long line of school children with their parents, invariably wanting the rainbow or fairy cupcakes, to leave. Her stomach rumbled just smelling the delicious sugary scent the store always possessed.

  ‘Hi,’ Amy said as Ellie approached the big cabinets with a smile. She couldn’t help but gaze at the gorgeous array of cupcakes—though, at this time of day, the stocks were running low. ‘How are you settling in?’

  Ellie sighed. ‘This is the first breather I’ve had since opening the doors. I’ve had to hire an assistant to ease the load.’

  ‘Yeah, Sam said you were feeling a little overwhelmed.’

  ‘Not that I’m complaining,’ Ellie said, holding her palms up. ‘It could be worse, I could have no customers.’

  Amy laughed. ‘Very true.’

  ‘I actually stopped by to ask you about something. A business proposition.’

  Amy arched a brow. ‘I’m intrigued.’

  ‘I was wondering if you’d be interested in supplying cupcakes and macaroons if I were to offer a flower-n-sweets package to customers?’

  ‘Sounds interesting.’

  ‘So, with roses, because they are usually given as a romantic gesture, I could package a bunch with three Cupid cupcakes. And with a bunch of less romantic type flowers, like daffodils, or carnations, I could offer six macaroons of coordinating colour. What do you think?’

  Amy grinned. ‘I think that’s a fantastic idea.’

  Excitement welled in Ellie’s body and made her movements sharp. She was nev
er one to hide her enthusiasm. ‘We could trial it for a month, see how it works for both of us, and reassess from there.’

  ‘Love that idea.’

  ‘Good. So, I’ll put it up on my website and pin a notice in my store. I’ll make one up for you too if you’d like to display it somewhere here?’ She was talking fast because her excitement was running away with her.

  ‘Sounds great. And maybe for the roses and Cupid cupcakes package, you can play on the rumours about their Cupid effect,’ Amy suggested.

  Ellie narrowed her eyes. ‘Cupid effect? I … don’t know what you mean.’

  ‘You haven’t heard yet?’

  Ellie shook her head.

  ‘Some believe that my Cupid cupcakes have special matchmaking capabilities.’

  A disbelieving smile spread across Ellie’s lips, while the marketing side of her mind went crazy with floral arrangement designs that could promote that. ‘Are you serious?’

  Amy nodded, her expression completely serious. ‘One hundred per cent legit.’

  Ellie grinned wider. ‘Wow. Okay. That would be a great way to brand them.’

  ‘It really would help with sales. I’m run off my feet most days. I have people from twenty towns over who drive here just for these cupcakes. You should hear the success stories I’m told. People write me emails and send me postcards from their honeymoons.’

  This was so absurd sounding that Ellie laughed. ‘How … unbelievable.’

  Amy giggled. ‘I know, it sounds far-fetched, but I like to keep an open mind about these things.’

  And who was Ellie to be a sceptic after she told Tom about her gift when it came to flowers?

  She went completely still then as a thought struck her. Was the Cupid effect why Sam was acting so weird about the fact that Ellie had eaten the Cupid cupcakes?

  ‘Sam knows about the Cupid effect?’ she asked, voice low and measured.

  Amy gave her a faint smile. ‘Of course.’

  She nodded slowly, not really understanding what she was feeling. Disappointment that Sam was so worried about it? Was Ellie really such a terrible love prospect for him?

  The answer didn’t matter. Ellie wasn’t on the market anyway. With the way she felt about relationships right now, she couldn’t even conceive of a time where she would be again.

  She shook her head imperceptibly to toss aside the ridiculous thoughts and got back on track. ‘I’ll definitely use the Cupid slant with my promotional material. I’ll have all that done by Monday morning.’

  ‘Great. Looking forward to seeing what you come up with. While you’re here,’ Amy said, ‘I meant to stop by today to see you.’

  ‘Oh?’

  ‘I was wondering if you’d like to join me and some friends for a drink at the pub tomorrow night?’

  Ellie was definitely in the market for new friends. A town like this could become very lonely otherwise. ‘I’d really like that.’

  ‘We’re going to meet there around seven. So stop by and join us.’

  ‘Sounds great.’

  A cheeky grin curled Amy’s lips as she said, ‘Oh, and Sam is going to be there too.’

  What exactly did that mean? Ellie forced herself to display the most nonchalant expression she could muster, despite the sudden acceleration of her heartbeat. ‘Great. I’ll see you tomorrow night.’

  ‘Can’t wait.’

  Ellie gave a little wave, a final smile and headed out the doors into the cool air. That’s okay, she could spend an evening drinking with Sam. No worries.

  And he could think what he wanted about the stupid Cupid cupcakes, it had nothing to do with her.

  A small group of people sat at a long timber table. Ellie approached them, conscious of Sam’s gaze on her as she did. He was wearing black, and it warmed her blood to see all his tall-dark-and-handsome shining against that stark backdrop. His eyes were becoming a bit of an obsession.

  Tonight, she wore a tight pair of dark denim jeans and a white loose-fitting blouse. Amy introduced Ellie to the table of people when she joined them. There was no way she could remember anyone’s name after being introduced to the three Mathews brothers.

  They have to be fake, or photoshopped at the very least.

  Bad enough Sam was delicious, but to have three of them just as stunning, all sitting in the one room was enough to give a woman heart attack … or an orgasm.

  All the while, Amy had an amused expression as though she knew exactly why Ellie was unable to utter coherent sentences until the shock wore off.

  Sam was definitely the biggest of them all, taller, broader, a little scruffier, and, by far, the dreamiest. Dreamy? Seriously, Ellie, you are losing your mind.

  ‘So you’ve opened the florist next door to Amy?’ Mitch asked.

  Ellie smiled, remembering that this was the brother who had lost his wife. She searched his face for sadness and thought she caught a glimpse of pain in his eyes. But maybe if she hadn’t known his story, she would never have noticed it. ‘Yep. A full two weeks of operation now.’

  ‘Did you know Sam grows flowers?’ he asked.

  She met Sam’s unfaltering gaze and swallowed. ‘Yes. We’ve met already.’

  ‘We have a business arrangement in place,’ Sam said to Mitch.

  Mitch nodded, his focus moving between Ellie and Sam as though sensing more.

  ‘It’s great to finally meet you,’ Tom said. ‘It’s always a bit of a novelty to have new residents in a town this size. Particularly residents our age.’

  ‘Kind of like when a new student would start at school,’ Amy said with a giggle.

  Ellie laughed.

  Sam stood. ‘I’m heading to the bar. What would you like to drink?’

  She shook her head, raised a hand. ‘Oh, no, that’s okay. I can get it.’

  ‘Ellie,’ he said in a deeper, gruffer voice and accompanied it with a frown. ‘I’m getting you a drink.’

  ‘Okay. A merlot, thanks.’

  He grinned. ‘I know they stock ours, so at least it’ll be good. Feels a bit odd paying for something I’ve made, though.’

  She cast a glance at what the others were drinking. Beer. Sam noticed where her attention was because he said, ‘With wine on tap at home, we like a bit of variety when we’re out.’

  She nodded. Of course. ‘I hate beer.’

  He gripped his chest as though in pain. ‘You hate coffee and beer. I’m not sure we can be friends.’

  ‘Very funny,’ she said with a laugh and did her best not to conspicuously perv as he strode away, though she may have glimpsed for a millisecond at his backside in those jeans.

  ‘So why Alpine Ridge, Ellie? Do you have family here?’ Mitch asked.

  Ellie shook her head. ‘No, it’s just me. I was on the lookout for a vacant shop I could buy that wasn’t too expensive, and when I drove up here to check it out, as soon as I saw Main Street, I knew this was the right place for me.’

  ‘It’s a great town,’ Mitch said. ‘We’ve been here our entire lives and wouldn’t think of living anywhere else. Amy has caught the Alpine bug now too.’

  ‘To be honest, I think this town had me from the very first day,’ Amy said. ‘The vineyard did anyway.’

  Tom grinned mischievously. ‘I’d like to think I might have had something to do with that.’

  Amy kissed his cheek, placed a loving hand on his chest. ‘You may have had a little influence.’

  Sam arrived back with a tray full of beers and a lone red wine. He plonked the tray in the middle of the table and everyone helped themselves, uttering their thanks.

  ‘It’s great to have you here, Ellie,’ Tom said holding out his beer bottle.

  The others raised their drinks; she chimed her glass against the necks of their beers while laughing.

  ‘Thank you,’ Ellie said, settling back in her chair. She wasn’t sure she’d ever felt so welcome, which was a relief. She’d read about small towns and how outsiders could be shunned until they’d adequately proven themselves wor
thy residents.

  Alpine Ridge didn’t seem to have that vibe, especially not these locals.

  ‘Ellie has been travelling around Australia for the last year,’ Sam said.

  Amy leaned forward, eyes bright with curiosity. ‘Do tell.’

  Ellie reluctantly took centre stage but knew that at this phase in getting to know each other, being the novelty, it was inevitable.

  She told them of her travels to Alice Springs where she worked as a waitress serving diners at dusk, the sky bleeding with purples and oranges, and Uluru an imposing dome in the distance.

  For six weeks she worked aboard the Ghan, travelling from Adelaide through the dusty desert of Australian’s centre, up to coastal Darwin.

  In Darwin, she swam in rock-walled gorges with fresh water crocodiles that waded past with their narrow, jagged jaws and long reptilian tails.

  Then west to Australia’s Coral Coast, diving with dinosaur-sized whale sharks by day, and pulling beers at a seaside pub by night, before sleeping in rundown backpacker accommodation and swapping stories with people from all over the world.

  Northern Queensland, in tropical Cairns, Ayer and Townsville were next on her itinerary, where she spent the winter in temperatures that would be accepted as summer anywhere else in the country, working in beachside retail shops selling swimwear or cheap accessories to tourists.

  And all the time she spoke, her awareness of Sam was so strong: his gaze lingering on her, igniting her flesh in all the places it landed.

  ‘But after nine months, I craved my own bed, and a stable home and job.’

  ‘So what made you want to pack up and travel?’ Mitch asked.

  Ellie shrugged a shoulder, smiled bashfully. ‘You know, the usual stuff—a messy break-up.’

  ‘Enough said,’ Amy said, lifting her beer in salute.

  Sam stretched across the table and clanged his beer against hers before drinking from the bottle, his eyes meeting Ellie’s, his actions telling fragments of a story Ellie was yet to know about.

  ‘I think I was also ready to find out who I am away from everything that was familiar and people who knew me. I’d never had that before. There’s real freedom living in towns where no-one knows you.’