The Hope of Love

by Platt, Meara

  She screamed as the ladder began to wobble and flailed helplessly to regain her balance as it began to topple.

  She felt herself floating through the air for one horrid moment. Weightless, boneless. Then her arm struck the wood floor with a painful thwack, and though she’d stuck out her hand to break her fall, her head also hit the floor with a duller thwack that was infinitely more painful.

  Stars burst in front of her eyes.

  Then all went black.

  Chapter Four

  “Felicity!” Angus heard her scream, for he hadn’t moved away from her front door yet. Then he heard a terrible crash. His heart shot into his throat. He tore back into the shop, the vicar on his heels, only to find Felicity sprawled unconscious on the floor. Her arm was in a position that should not have been possible were it undamaged.

  “Adam, don’t,” he said with a shaking voice as the vicar leaned over to lift her off the floor. “She’s broken her arm. Let me make certain nothing else is broken before either of us lifts her.”

  “All right. Tell me what to do, and I’ll do it.” The vicar took several deep breaths, obviously quite shaken himself. “Is she alive?”

  Felicity groaned, sparing him the need of a response.

  “Thank the Lord,” Angus muttered. “Yes, she seems to be coming around now.”

  She blinked her eyes open and tried to rise. Angus placed his hand gently on her uninjured shoulder. “Don’t move yet, love. Your arm’s broken. Let me check the rest of you before you attempt to get up. You’ve hit your head.” He could see the red welt forming on her brow and feared it would turn into something quite serious as the night wore on. It wouldn’t be long before she sported a lump the size of a goose egg on her forehead. The danger was in allowing the lump to get larger than that, for it would put too much pressure on her brain.

  Had she broken any other bones?

  He took his time examining her, careful to shift her as little as possible while he felt along her neck and spine. He spoke to her all the while, hoping his tone would calm her as he ran his hands along her shoulders, hips, down her legs, and removed her boots so that he could inspect each of her toes.

  He let out a breath in relief when she was easily able to wiggle them. “Adam, it’s just her arm,” he said, sparing a glance at the vicar. As displaced Scots, they had quickly become friends. “Her ankle’s twisted. Not much swelling yet, but it will hurt. She’ll have to keep off it for a day or two, possibly three.”

  Adam nodded. “Thank goodness it isn’t worse. What can I do to help?”

  “Pack some ice in a cloth. We’ll use it as a compress for her head. It’s vital we keep the swelling down. I’ll put a splint on her arm. She’ll have bruising everywhere, but the bruises ought to fade fairly quickly. She’s otherwise in good health and her circulation is good. We’ll need more ice for her ankle, too.”

  He lifted Felicity into his arms with care and carried her into her bedchamber. His heart tugged as she absently wrapped her good arm around his neck and rested her head against his shoulder. This felt so right, her body pressed against his, and her response so natural and trusting. She belonged with him, only he had been too dense to realize it.

  Her hair felt silky against his cheek.

  Why had he never said anything to her about his feelings? He’d wasted all this precious time.

  The room was sparsely furnished but had all the essentials, a bed, a wardrobe, and a chest of drawers along with a few delicate touches. He deposited Felicity onto the mattress, still taking care to be gentle as he set her atop the covers. He did not tuck her in yet and would not until he’d finished treating her injuries.

  He started by removing her stockings.

  Adam had followed him in and was looking over his shoulder. “What are you doing?”

  “Her right ankle is sprained and swelling. I’m just making certain it isn’t anything worse.” Fortunately, it wasn’t.

  He loosened the ties of her gown next and carefully drew down the sleeve to get a look at her broken arm. “Adam, why are you still hovering? Get me the ice.”

  Angus also left Felicity’s side a moment to search for strips of wood to hold her broken bone in place and cloths to bind it. He came back quickly with all he needed. But as he drew the fabric aside, he noticed a birthmark on her back, just below her shoulder. “Mother in heaven,” he said in a whisper, realizing where he’d seen another just like it. “No, it can’t be.”

  The vicar hurried in. “Here, Angus. I’ve got… What’s wrong? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost. Damn, is she in worse shape than you thought? What do you need me to do?”

  “Nothing at the moment. Perhaps pray for her to heal quickly. Give me the compress. We’ll take turns applying it to the lump. We have to keep the swelling down.” He winced. “I think she hit her head pretty hard.”

  The vicar noticed Angus had nudged her gown down to her waist.

  Angus followed the direction of his gaze. “I had to do it to tend to her broken arm.”

  “I know. Should we undress her? I mean, you’ve already got her part way there.”

  “Don’t touch her.” Angus shot him a look that warned he wouldn’t live to see the next sunrise if he dared set a hand on Felicity.

  “For pity’s sake, stop shooting daggers at me. I meant nothing lewd by it. And don’t pretend for a moment you weren’t looking at her splendid body and lusting.”

  “I had to look. In a medical way. That’s all.”

  “My arse, you’re practically in spasms over the girl. Don’t bother to deny it. She’s quite beautiful, isn’t she? Won’t she be more comfortable in her nightclothes?”

  “Yes, but you’re not to touch her.”

  Adam held up his hands in mock surrender. “Fine, I won’t. But she still needs to be made comfortable. You can’t leave her with the gown hanging half off her body.”

  “I’ll take care of it.” Angus knew he was being possessive and unreasonable, but he didn’t care. No other man would ever put his hands on Felicity. Hell, he wasn’t sure Felicity would ever allow him to put his hands on her. Why would she when he’d never given her cause to think he cared?

  He’d purposely kept his distance, purposely hidden his feelings. And now he was supposed to return to Scotland.

  He’d planned to leave shortly after Christmas eve supper at Sherbourne Manor.

  But how could he abandon Felicity in this condition? “I’ll do it,” he repeated softly. “Go into the bookshop. I’ll call you back in when she’s decent.”

  “Angus,” his friend said with a sigh, “you have to tell her. She deserves to know who you really are.”

  He tensed, but not because of Adam’s admonition. He’d planned to reveal his true identity to Felicity before he left Wellesford. But he’d just discovered who she was, that rare birthmark on the back of her shoulder proof of her family connection.

  Well, not solid proof. More of a solid indication.

  He’d confirm it once the storm ended. But what then? Confront her mother? Force her to reveal her identity to Felicity? To what end? The woman, her husband, and family would all be destroyed if the truth came out.

  Lord, this was a mess.

  Felicity had never known who her parents were. They’d abandoned her when she was a baby, dumping her at the orphanage. Angus wasn’t certain of the father’s identity, but he now had a strong suspicion of her mother’s. Blessed saints! The woman was a regular at Felicity’s book club meetings.

  She’d been right under Felicity’s nose all these years.

  The vicar placed a hand on his shoulder. “Angus, seriously, are you all right?”

  “Yes, just worried about her.”

  “So am I. Are you going to stay by her bedside through the night?”

  “Of course.”

  “I’ll sit with you.” He tossed Angus a mirthless smile. “You need a chaperone. The fiery way you look at her, you ought to be doused with water to put out the flames. How long have you
been in love with her?”

  Angus stared at the compress on Felicity’s brow. “Long time. From the moment I set eyes on her, to be exact. The first day I walked in here looking for a medical book. She was just finishing up with a customer, so I waited. She turned to me and smiled. It was as though I’d been struck by a bolt of lightning. Still happens every time I look at her.”

  “Lord, you’re brainless. You may be the smartest man in town, but you’ve loved her all this time and done nothing about it? You’re an idiot. Or a badly damaged soul. I suppose we both are, aren’t we? Why else would we have fled our homes?” Adam left his side to forage through her bureau. “Here’s a nightgown for her. Call me in if you need my help. Keeping her comfortable is most important, so don’t be an arse and cause her pain because you won’t let anyone else touch her. You have no right, you know. All these years, you ought to have said something to her.”

  Once more left alone with Felicity, Angus eased the gown and corset off her body. He decided not to remove her chemise. She’d need the extra warmth. Besides, he didn’t think he could handle seeing her without a stitch of clothing on.

  He stifled a groan as he unpinned her hair and nudged the soft cascade of curls aside to fall over her good shoulder. She’d feel more comfortable resting her head against the pillow without the bun pinned at the nape of her neck.

  “Felicity, love. Almost done,” he whispered when she gasped and let out a sob.

  “It hurts, Angus.”

  “I know, love. I’ve removed your gown and undone your hair. You’ll feel better now.”

  “Will you stay with me?”

  “Yes, all night.” She sounded scared. He wanted to take her into his arms and never let her go. Perhaps he would wrap her in his arms as the night wore on, especially if her body turned cold.

  He called out softly to Adam once he had her settled again.

  “Lord, she’s beautiful,” Adam muttered, looking down at her. “Is she sleeping?” He’d returned with one of the small chairs from the shop and now placed it by her bed. He settled his large frame in the chair.

  “Yes, I think so. She’ll be drifting in and out because of the pain and that bump on her head. I can’t give her laudanum for it yet. Too dangerous. I don’t want her slipping into too deep a sleep. She might never wake up.”

  “So, we keep her awake?”

  Angus nodded. “Something like that. A light sleep is fine or allowing her to keep her eyes closed.”

  “I’m staying right here, too.” Adam folded his arms across his chest and stretched his long legs before him. “You’re going to do the right thing once she’s feeling better. I’m going to make certain of it.”

  “Don’t lecture me,” Angus grumbled. “You’re one to talk. The women of Wellesford flutter around you like bees to a flower, but you haven’t set your heart on any of them. Not even Lady Poppy. Everyone thought you were in love with her.”

  “But you know I am incapable of it.”

  “No, Adam. Not incapable, just too damaged to risk a relationship for fear you’ll hurt the one you love.”

  “Perhaps. So are you. But you’ve fallen in love anyway. You’re not being fair to Felicity, you know. She deserves better than to wind up alone and a spinster.”

  Angus nodded. “I thought keeping silent was the right decision, but lately it’s been gnawing at me. If it were only me, I’d marry her tomorrow. But my family, those who still survive, are straight out of a Shakespearean tragedy. My parents made MacBeth and his wife look like saints. My brothers poisoned everything they touched. One time, they even tried to poison me. Claimed it as an accident. My father did nothing about it.” He laughed mirthlessly. “Well, it’s almost Christmas. Perhaps we’ll have a sign from above. We are both in need of divine inspiration, aren’t we?”

  Adam nodded. “Yes, it would be nice. But I’m as cynical a Scot as you are. I don’t believe in miracles, even though I lie about it to my congregation. I tell them to believe when I cannot. I don’t like deceiving them. It would be nice to have my faith restored.”

  “Mine, too.” Angus shook his head and sighed. “See if you can find an extra pillow. I want her foot elevated. As soon as the blizzard ends, I want you to go to Sherbourne Manor and let Lady Poppy know what’s happened. The three of them, Poppy, Penelope, and Olivia, will want to help out.”

  He received a frown in response, but little protest. “I like her, Angus. I’m giving you fair warning. If you don’t marry her, I very well may offer for her myself.”

  “Don’t speak like that, Adam. You make it sound like we’re kicking her back and forth like a little ball. This is exactly what got her enraged.” Angus refused to look up from his ministrations. They were both behaving like a pair of tavern drunks fighting over the same girl. Could Felicity hear them? It didn’t appear so, and that worried him. He wasn’t certain if she was sleeping or if she’d drifted into unconsciousness again. “Felicity, are you awake?”

  She sighed. “I think I’ve been dreaming.”

  “About what, love?”

  “I’m not sure. It’s all muddled. Everyone wants to marry me. It’s just a silly dream. It has to be. In it, you keep calling me love and the vicar wants to marry me, but everyone knows he’s in love with Lady Poppy and his heart is still recovering from her recent marriage to the Earl of Welles. She’s so lovely. They all are. Poppy, Olivia, Penelope. I wish I had sisters like them. I wish I had a family.”

  Adam groaned. “Does everyone think I was in love with Poppy? Gad, Felicity must believe I’m a fickle arse to suddenly shift my affections to her and forget all about my previous unrequited love.”

  “Don’t fret about it. I doubt she’ll remember anything that is said tonight.” He lifted the cloth packed in ice to peer at the small lump forming on Felicity’s brow. It wasn’t too bad, not nearly as bad as he feared it would be. But it was early yet. The true test would come later in the night.

  He kept the cold cloth lightly pressed to her forehead.

  “Tell me what you plan to do about her,” Adam whispered, refusing to give up questioning Angus.

  Angus scowled at him. “Stop it. This isn’t the time or place for this discussion.”

  “I disagree. The time has come to make your decision. She’s beautiful. Smart. Capable. Kind. I think she’d make an excellent vicar’s wife.”

  Angus wanted to wring his neck. Was the man purposely provoking him? “She’s too smart for you.”

  “How so? I’m considered quite clever. All the women tell me so.”

  Angus refused to look up. “She deserves better than you.”

  “That may be true, but so what?”

  Angus was truly angry now. He wanted to grab his friend by the collar and toss him out into the snow. But that would upset Felicity when she found out what he’d done. “For how long, Adam? She’s the sort of girl you commit to forever, and you’ve already proven you can’t do that.”

  “Can you?”

  Angus nodded. “Yes.”

  “Then why haven’t you?”

  Chapter Five

  Felicity wanted to sit up but pain shot through her arm and straight into her head the moment she tried. She gasped and fell back against her pillow. “Ow.” It felt as though a herd of reindeer was stampeding between her ears.

  “Felicity, love. Don’t try to get up.”

  Her head was ready to burst. Angus had called her love again. Was she still dreaming? Of course, she was. She’d had the strangest dreams all night. “Angus?”

  “I’m right here,” he said, taking her hand and giving it a light squeeze. “You broke your arm. Do you remember?”

  “No, but it hurts like blazes. All of me hurts.” She opened her eyes and saw him seated beside her. Oh, he looked so wonderful. Big. Muscled. He’d taken off his jacket and vest, and rolled up his sleeves. His cravat was off as well, and his shirt was open at the throat.

  The man was beautiful…just, beautiful. Even now, with his hair slightly dishevel
ed and the droop of fatigue in his eyes. He must have stayed up all night tending to her injuries. “How bad?”

  “A clean break. It should heal fast. But you’ve also sprained your ankle and hit your head when you fell to the floor.”

  “Oh, that’s why the reindeer herd is stomping through my head. I remember now. The mistletoe. I was trying to hang it when I fell off the ladder. I was so angry with you and the vicar.”

  He frowned lightly.

  “No matter what you think, I am not a pathetic, lonely spinster.”

  “Damn it, Felicity. You were never that. You are not that. Don’t you realize how beautiful you are? How much we all care for you? You’re kind and generous. Everyone adores you.”

  “How can they? I’m a mess. I can’t even…” She blushed profusely, and her eyes grew wide. “Angus…”

  He realized her distress.

  “How am I to…” She needed to use the chamber pot. But with a broken arm, a sprained ankle, and the blow to her head leaving her off balance, she would never be able to manage on her own.

  “I’ll help you.”

  Her heart shot into her throat. “You can’t!”

  “There’s no one else, Felicity. Just close your eyes and pretend I’m not here.” Giving her no chance to protest, he scooped her out of bed as gently as he could manage and held her while she cried because she was so embarrassed.

  His arms felt wonderful. Strong. Sturdy. Yet, so gentle.

  But he held her for all the wrong reasons.

  She wanted to be in his arms because he loved her, not because she required assistance with… She burst into tears and couldn’t stop crying.

  She’d thought a wager over a first kiss was humiliating, but this was a thousand times worse. Only, he didn’t make her feel wretched about it. He was magnificently supportive and tender, knowing just what to say and when not to talk at all.

  He also knew when to turn away.