by R Holmes
There's no hesitation as I obey his command, and clasp my hands tightly behind my back. He fists his cock tightly and rubs it along the seam of my lips. His barbell shines against the candle light, making my mouth water.
"Do you have any idea how you look like right now, little lamb?"
His velvet cock pushes past my lips, into my mouth, and I moan around him. The vibration of my moans causes him to shiver. I suck him into my mouth deeper and deeper until the head of his cock hits the back of my throat, causing me to gag. The cold bite of the metal barbell along the head is so erotic.
"With your pretty pink lips wrapped around me, sucking me?" His hands thread into my hair as he withdraws and thrusts back into my throat, harder and deeper this time.
"Fuck, you were made for me, Valentina," he whispers raggedly as he full on fucks my throat. Each thrust, he grips my hair harder, throat-fucking me in the middle of a chapel. It's so wrong, so indecent and vulgar, but I feel more alive than I ever have before. Tears begin to fill my eyes as I gag around him and it's messy and sloppy, but it's so unbelievably erotic. I'll never get tired of this feeling. Knowing that I'm the one to do this to him.
I can tell he's close by the way he squeezes his eyes shut and grips my hair roughly. Then I hear something outside the chapel doors that sounds like a voice, and we both freeze. Rhys pulls out of my mouth and shoves himself back in his pants so quickly, I almost fall over. He reaches out and gives me his hand, helping me off the floor, then drags me toward the confessional box. We slip inside just as the chapel door opens. My heart pounds in my chest erratically. The thrill of being caught did nothing but turn me on more, make me more wild for him.
The voice draws closer, and I can see through the faint screen of the confessional that someone's across the chapel, sitting down at the organ. He seems to be sitting down to practice. Out of all times, he's chosen now.
Rhys leans down and whispers against my ear from behind, "That was almost bad, little lamb. But you enjoyed it, didn't you?" His hand slips into my leggings and into the lace of my panties, where I'm soaked for him. "It made you wet, the thrill of someone catching you on your knees like the little slut that you are." His finger circles my clit teasingly. I clutch tightly onto his arm that is buried in my panties.
"You're going to come, Valentina, right here in this confessional." My heart races when his free hand snakes up my throat and pulls out the rosary that's tucked into my shirt. He pulls back on the thick beads until they're banded tight around my throat, restricting me from taking a full deep breath, causing me to almost come around the finger he's dipped inside of me. He rubs the spot only he's ever been able to find, the one that causes me to come in a flooded mess. The rosary beads at my neck is pulled tightly as he bends me over and my hands fly to the side of the confessional, causing me to bump it loudly.
We both freeze and his gaze darts to the screen of the confessional. Our audience is still unbeknownst, but it doesn't stop my heart from coming out of my chest. Does the thrill of being caught turn me on? Yes. Do I actually want someone to find out I'm being choked by my rosary beads inside the confessional, with my boyfriend's fingers knuckle-deep inside me? No.
"Unless you'd like to answer to Sister Agnes, I suggest you keep quiet, baby," he whispers as he yanks my leggings and underwear down my legs, never letting go of his grip on the rosary beads. Bending down, he licks at my pussy, over and over until my legs shake beneath me. Without warning, he pulls his cock free from his jeans, then slams inside me so hard I almost come on contact. Between the rosary beads wrapped tightly around my throat and his brutal thrusts, my vision dances with a black haziness that has me gripping the wall, holding on for dear life. He fucks me so hard, I can hardly think straight. Albeit quietly, there's something about him tonight that is unrestrained. He's feral in the way he fucks me.
Leaning down, he whispers against my ear as he pounds inside of me recklessly, "Your pussy feels like heaven wrapped around my cock. Nothing will ever come close, little lamb." He pulls back on the rosary beads, yanking me up until my back hits his chest. "Come," he grunts, as he lets go, spilling inside of me. It's all I need to fall over the edge with him. He lazily thrusts as he forces the orgasm from my body with his cock. Over and over until this thrusts halt, and he drops a kiss to my neck.
"That was so fucking hot." He laughs quietly. I bite back a giggle when he pulls out of me and tucks himself back into his pants, then helps me back into my leggings. All the while, the guy practicing the organ outside of the confessional has no idea what's just happened inside.
"You know this means we have to wait here until he decides to leave, right?" I say, whispering as I sit down in his lap. He absentmindedly twirls a piece of my hair around his finger.
"Are you complaining?" He grins.
"After that? Not even a little bit."
Thankfully, the organ player decides he's done for the night and we sit silently until we hear the chapel doors shut behind him. Just as I'm getting to my feet, I feel his phone vibrate underneath me and he reaches down to fish it out. When he reads the text that has come through, he frowns, his brow furrowing.
"Shit, it's Sebastian. I have to go, something's wrong. I'm sorry, baby, I have to go. Let me walk you back to your building."
Putting my hand up, I stop him. "No, no, it's fine. I can absolutely walk back by myself, Rhys. Go, your friends need you." I stand on my tiptoes and give him a chaste kiss.
It bothers me that he doesn't tell me what's going on. It feels like there are still secrets between us.
"Are you sure?" Worry is etched into his features, and I see his genuine concern about me walking back by myself. It causes the butterflies in my stomach that have become a permanent fixture when he's around to flutter. I swallow down the lump that has formed in my throat.
"Yes, I promise. Let's go, we can walk out together."
He takes my hand in his and we walk down the aisle, then out of the chapel. When he shuts and locks the door behind him, he pulls me in for a kiss full of promise. That what happened here tonight will be a regular thing between us. It momentarily makes the sting of his silence lessen.
"I'll call you later tonight, okay? Send me a text as soon as you make it inside."
I nod.
He hesitates for a moment, then starts off to the direction of his dorm. As I walk back to my dorm, I mull over the past few days between Rhys and my parents, and chalk my nerves up to the major overload of emotions. It's been an emotionally exhaustive few days and my brain is still trying to process all that has happened. I walk briskly back to the dorm because St. Augustine at night is eerily quiet and still, bringing the creep factor way up, and I'm alone. My building is silent, so I slip in the back door and tiptoe toward the dorm, keeping my eyes peeled for a sister. The last thing I need right now is to get caught sneaking back in this late at night. I pull my keys from my hoodie pocket and unlock my room, then hurry inside and shut the door. Not even seconds after I walk inside, there's a light knock at the door.
It's probably Rhys, so I plaster on a smile and swing the door open, but I’m surprised to see Rory there instead. My eyes flit to the clock on my wall and realize it's way past midnight, and Rory has snuck into the dorms to be here.
"Ror? What are you doing here? It's late. Hurry in, before Sister Virginia sees you." I usher him inside.
"Val, listen, I need to talk to you. You may want to sit down." His brow is furrowed, his words come out in a rush. Solemn, serious as I’ve ever seen him. His face is unreadable, but my heart begins to pound in my chest with the ominous tone of his words. He brushes past me and starts to pace around the room, increasing my nervousness.
"Okay, you're scaring me, Ror, what's going on? Are you okay?" My brief moment of happiness and the high I was on from being with Rhys is suddenly gone.
"An email just went out to everyone in the school's directory. All the students, every one of them."
Unease creeps up my spine like a sickness, and my thro
at begins to close with emotion.
"It's you, Val… It's you and… Rhys." He swallows thickly and thrusts his phone at me.
My shaking hand takes the phone from him. It's the video of me and Rhys in the library, the one he showed me the night he threatened me. The same video he used to control and manipulate me.
The enormity of what I've just seen hits me like a concrete wall. What this video being released into the world really means.
How could he do this? After everything we've been through. The thoughts in my mind race, I can't take a deep breath because I feel like there's a weight on my chest suffocating me. The onslaught of a panic attack creeps its way up my spine and I reach out to hold onto Rory with my free hand.
In this moment, I am so hurt, so fucking broken, I feel sick. I drop the phone, then run to the bathroom as the contents of my stomach empty into the toilet. I retch until my throat is on fire, the tears wet my cheeks and I have nothing left to come up. Rory rubs my back in loving stokes as he holds my hair, but never speaks. Only then do I sink to the floor of the bathroom to my knees. I want to lay on the floor and pretend that my life hasn't fallen apart all around me.
Was it all a lie? Every whisper in the dark, every caress? Was this always his plan? I feel myself spiraling and I have to squeeze my eyes shut to remain upright.
"Val…" Rory whispers sadly as he gathers me into his arms. I can't hold back the heart-wrenching sobs that leave my body. It hurts so much. It hurts so badly that I don't know if I'll survive this moment. It feels unsurvivable, the pain that has pierced my heart. I clutch onto him like a lifeline.
"How could he do this, Ror? Why would he do this to us? Destroy us before ever giving us a chance? How evil can someone be to pretend to love someone, only to betray them?"
"I don't know, Val. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." He repeats over and over as he holds me, and my tears wet his shirt.
I cry in Rory's arms on the floor of my bathroom for what seems like hours. The question of why keeps tumbling from my lips incoherently as I sob. At some point when the sun has risen, Rory picks my broken and shattered body from the floor and places me in the bed, then lays beside me as I begin to drift off exhaustedly. My body can't take another ounce of pain. I try to push away the thoughts of Rhys, the video, what this means for my future. All of it, in the furthest part of my mind, to be able to shut my eyes for just a moment and not feel. Rory takes my phone at some point, powering it off and putting it away just so I can rest without seeing the onslaught of notifications wrecking me over and over again.
I drift off at some point and wake to an empty bed and sunlight streaming through the window, with the taste of my own salty tears on my tongue. My face feels stiff and my body is sore from last night, only reminding me of my brutal reality. I sit up and try not to let the tears that have already begun to well in my eyes spill. My eyes are so swollen from crying, they’re almost shut.
I'm so hurt and so angry all at once, it's overwhelming. The emotions that swirl inside of me range from broken to murderous. Once again, I allowed Rhys Blackwood to turn me into something different, only this time, I hate him for it. I hate him so passionately it burns inside of me like a blaze that can never be tamed. I let him in and he broke me.
A loud knock sounds at my door and then, "Valentina? Open up now, please." Rhys’s voice comes from the other side. Right now, the anger inside of me overpowers the hurt, so I walk over and swing the door open.
Rhys looks like he hasn't slept. His hair and clothes are disheveled, and there are dark blue and purple circles underneath his eyes. I hate that he looks so fucking beautiful and that’s what put me in this hell in the first place. For the very first time in my life, I want to be violent. I want to beat his chest with my fists as I scream all of the anger out of me. I want to break him like he's broken me.
"Val, listen to me, I had nothing to do with that video. Nothing, do you hear me? I don't know what the fuck has happened, but it was not me," he pleads, trying to reach for me. When his hand connects with my arm, I can’t help but recoil from his touch.
The look on this face is etched into my memory for the rest of my life. The way his eyes shine with pain, but something else. Something that I can't put my finger on.
"I would never do that to you," he whispers raggedly.
I mull over my response to him, trying to find the right words to truly express the magnitude of hurt I feel inside.
My voice tremors as I shake my head, broken hearted. "I trusted you. Even after all of the fucked-up, horrible shit you did to me. I found strength and forgiveness inside myself I didn't even realize I possessed to trust you, Rhys. It was scary and terrifying to put my trust in someone who hurt me so badly, but I did it. And you betrayed that trust. I don't believe anything that comes out of your mouth."
He tries to speak but I hold my hand up. "You know, everyone talks about how dead inside that you are. They say you're broken, your soul is as black as the night you hide behind. I gave you a chance to show me differently, and you did. You showed me the side of yourself that is buried within you. I thought I could be the one to break through, but obviously I was fucking wrong. Part of me doesn't want to believe that you could do something like this. But then I remember the boy I met in the library. The one who scared me so bad that I would've kept any secret he ever told. How could you do this? How could you take the one person who loves you wholly, unconditionally, for everything that you are and wreck them?"
I can’t stand the flash of hurt across his face, of absolute pain, but continue because it has to be said. His fingers grip the doorframe so hard, I’m scared it might break.
I feel the hot sting of tears as they fall, but I can't stop, the words pour out of me like a flood. "I wish I could believe you aren't the one who did this, Rhys. I wish with everything inside of me that I could. But the truth is, I can't. The one thing you threatened me with from the start. You made true on your promise. Congratulations, Rhys, you did the one thing you set out to do. You broke me. You broke the little lamb that you thought stole your secret, when the truth is… I never told. I never once opened my mouth to betray you, and in exchange, you broke me worse than anyone ever could. You betrayed me. You used me, you took and took until there was nothing left, Rhys. Please leave. I don't want to see you anymore."
He flinches at my words, his brow tightening in hurt.
Even through my tears, I stand strong. I stand with my chin held higher and I pull the small sliver of bravery that sits inside and I grasp onto it for dear life.
"Valentina, please don't do this. I don't know how that video got out, but I promise you I'll find whoever is responsible for it and use every resource I have to destroy them. I didn’t even see what happened until this morning. Baby, please. I’d never do this to you. You know me. You know the real me, the only person who’s ever gotten close enough to see. You changed me. Val, you changed something inside of me with all of your light. Fuck, please don’t do this," he begs. He reaches for me, and I step back out of his grasp.
"Don't," I spit. "I want you to leave. I can't see you, I'm done. I'm not the girl you used to know, I'm stronger. This is the girl who takes no shit from someone who doesn't deserve her tears. Leave."
My heart is shattering into pieces and I feel broken, I feel helpless.
"Valentina, please, baby," he whispers, so agonized it makes me falter.
It takes everything inside me to close the door, shutting him out, but if I continue this conversation, I will only end up where I once was, in his arms. I flatten against the door behind me, then sink to the ground as the sobs rack my body violently. I don't know much about love. Love shouldn't break you. That much, I do know.
“Fuck!” I roar as my fist connects with the wall of the common room. It flies through the drywall leaving a hole in its place. I’m so goddamn angry, so fucking hurt, I have no outlet to let the anger out. My knuckles split and bleed with the violence, but I want to do it over and over until I’m numb.
<
br /> The entire way back to the dorm, I think about the sobs I heard through her door. It gutted me. Ripped my heart straight from my fucking chest. The look on her face when she answered the door. Her puffy, red-rimmed eyes. Every single tear she's cried because of me. Fuck, I hate myself that she is hurting because of me.
Even if I wasn't the one to do this, it was ultimately me who hurt her. I was the one to threaten her, to put her in the position for the video to be taken in the first place. Me. Whether I posted it or not, I am the cause of this. I’ve hurt her. Humiliated and embarrassed her. My anger resonates as I walk across campus. Each step I take, I get more fucking angry and enraged. I have to make this right. I have to fix this, whatever it takes.
"Where the fuck is Sebastian!" I roar as I burst through the front door of our dorm.
Alec is standing in the kitchen, drinking a glass of orange juice, when I come barreling through the door. He raises his eyebrows. "Um. Whoa. Way too fucking early for this shit, dude. He's probably asleep, he went to the Abbey after we talked last night."
His face turns from unbothered by my outburst to worried, seeing as how the expression on my face is likely as murderous as the fury I feel right now, which doesn't come close to anything I've ever felt before.
"What's going on?"
"You haven't fucking seen?" I spit at Alec as I charge toward Sebastian's room. I'm so fucking angry that I'll ask questions fucking later after I beat the shit out of him. I throw the door open, with Alec following closely behind me, and find Sebastian on his stomach snoring, passed clean the fuck out.
"Get the fuck up!" I bellow, pulling the comforter off of him and tossing it to the side. My hands clench at my sides so much that I feel the small amount of restraint I have slipping away.
"Dude, what the fuck?" Sebastian sits up groggily, wiping the sleep from his eyes.
