The Wraiths of Will and Pleasure

by Storm Constantine

  Terez had made it clear that he did not want to be Mima’s kin. Despite this, he came to find them sometimes, perhaps twice a year. None of them knew why he did, because Mima found it too painful to be near him and his presence was always accompanied by a sour unpleasant atmosphere. He didn’t care for any of them, not really, but still he kept in touch. He could sniff them out wherever they were. He had not found Dorado, and Pell’s ghost had remained silent. Lileem quietly respected Terez for not making up stories about Pell speaking to him. He could easily have done so, and she suspected that if he had Ulaume would have believed him, too. Terez was a loner. He had not joined the Uigenna, perhaps because the har he had longed for among them had disappeared. He might be dour, aloof and without finer feelings, but he was honest. That counted for something. Of all of them, Lileem had the most time for Terez. She had forgiven him for calling the Uigenna to Casa Ricardo. There was something about him she couldn’t help but like. Over the years, his personality had gradually revealed itself. He had a sharp sense of humour and didn’t hold grudges. He accepted that he wasn’t truly liked by Mima and the others, and didn’t appear resentful of it. He told fascinating stories about his travels, and all the different tribes he’d met, and when he visited ‘Esmeraldarine’, liked to sit up all night drinking and talking. The others said they only tolerated his visits because they got to hear the stories, but Lileem noticed that not even Mima went to bed early when Terez was there, even if she did sit away from the rest of them, showing them all how good she was at being moody. Terez had many fine qualities, Lileem thought, and often she wished he were still with them all the time. He’d had a bad start, that was all. These opinions she kept wisely to herself.

  They had run from the sierras and cordilleras of the south, into much greener territory. Now, they travelled up and down the great river hara called the Cloudy Serpent, trading what goods they could produce of wood and clay and leather. Majestic mountains soared around them, wreathed in mist. Life was movement and the undulating coils of the serpent ever beneath them. Lileem was not afraid of hara finding out she was different, because she no longer felt she was. When they had to meet others, she kept her secret to herself and became ‘he’ again. On the outside, she looked no different to a Wraeththu har. She had grown into a lithe and sinewy creature, a harish adolescent, who was only eight years old but appeared like a human would have done in their mid teens. Mima too had camouflaged herself more than adequately. She wore her hair in braids and smoked a long pipe, and when she sat on top of the boat at sunset to smoke, she sprawled with her limbs splayed out in a manner that Flick said was utterly unfeminine, but Lileem didn’t really know what that was. Although both Lileem and Mima possessed the vestiges of feminine breasts, these were not prominent enough to warrant extra disguise. A loose shirt was enough to conceal them. Ulaume also said he’d met true hara who had possessed similar attributes but who had otherwise been Wraeththu in every way. Flick said that in the past, a human’s voice had been the biggest giveaway concerning gender, but that harish voices were, like their bodies, not exactly male or female. Mima had this voice, as did Lileem herself. Animal camouflage: a cry through the trees.

  One late afternoon in summer, they docked at a small Unneah settlement, where they had made acquaintances. It had taken several years to reach that stage of friendship with the privacy-loving hara of this area. Lileem went with Flick to pay respects to the community leader and he offered them a meal. Soon the sun would begin to set. Usually, Flick made excuses to avoid social situations, but for once he accepted the invitation. Lileem knew then that Flick had finally lost the fear of hara guessing she was unusual. They could risk being sociable.

  The Unneah was named Rofalor and he lived with his chesnari Ecropine in a house with a wide veranda that overlooked the river. They had a harling, who was only a few months old and very shy. Lileem was naturally intrigued by this young har, not least because it was obvious to her, if not to Flick, that he did not possess the abnormalities that she did. Lileem could just tell: she didn’t know how.

  After they had eaten, they sat around a table on the porch, smoking pipes and listening to the song of the great river. Flick asked questions, carefully seeking information. They never told anyhar that Lileem was a second-generation har. They always let other hara think she’d been incepted.

  ‘I’ve heard,’ Flick said, ‘that sometimes Wraeththu births can be dangerous, that they can go wrong and produce – well – freaks. Have you heard that?’

  ‘I’ve heard of it,’ Rofalor said, ‘but I think that as time goes on, we are more at home in our skins, and such risks become less. I think that those incidents were caused by a lack of focus during the aruna that creates the pearl. We know more about it now. We take precautions.’

  ‘Have you ever seen a harling that was damaged at birth?’ Flick asked.

  Rofalor grimaced. ‘No, thank the Aghama!’ He smiled at his son, who was lurking beneath the table. ‘The worst thing for us will be when we have to hand over our son to another har for feybraiha.’

  ‘What’s that?’ Lileem asked.

  ‘Coming of age. I suppose it’s rather like althaia. It’s when aruna becomes a pressing need.’ He sighed. ‘For us, childhood is even shorter than it was for humans. In some ways, that is sad.’

  Lileem had not considered things like this and a chill passed through her. She thought fearfully of Terez and wondered whether the future held some terrible madness and decay for her. ‘When does it happen?’ she asked. ‘How old is a harling when it does?’

  ‘Oh, around six or seven, I think,’ Rofalor said. ‘It won’t be a worry for us until a few years have passed and you can be sure I’ll keep my eyes peeled for the right har for the job from now until then.’ He smiled. ‘You’re presentable and gentle, Lileem. Perhaps I’ll choose you if you still ride the river at that time.’

  Lileem must have looked stricken, because Flick announced it was time for them to get back. He virtually whisked Lileem off Rofalor’s porch. She stumbled along beside him up the winding path back to the boat, her arm limp in his grip, her legs barely able to work. ‘Aru, Aru, Aru,’ she murmured beneath her breath.

  Flick did not take her directly back to the ‘Esmeraldarine’. They climbed some rocks that hung over the river and lay on their stomachs looking down at the dark waters below. The moon was beginning to rise above the hills opposite. Trees heavy with leaves, in full summer regalia, dipped their branches towards the water. All was beautiful, yet now in some way spoiled.

  ‘We don’t know about this,’ Flick said. ‘You are already eight. It might not happen to you.’

  ‘But if it does…?’ Lileem dug the heels of her hands against her eyes. ‘What if it does? I might just have a slower body clock than normal hara.’

  ‘You must tell me,’ Flick said, ‘if you feel anything strange, or if your body starts to change in some way. You must tell me at once.’

  ‘I don’t want to end up like Terez,’ she moaned.

  Flick reached out and squeezed her shoulder. ‘You won’t. No har on this earth could be like Terez! If it happens, then perhaps we’ll know you’re just har, who’s a bit different, and that’s that.’ He paused. ‘To be honest, Lee, none of us know how different you are, do we?’

  ‘I looked in the books back at the white house library,’ she said. ‘I know.’

  ‘But perhaps with this feybraiha thing, everything will become normal. Damn, I should have asked Rofalor for more details. We just skirted the issue and didn’t find out anything really.’

  ‘Maybe you could go back tomorrow and ask him,’ Lileem said.

  Flick grimaced. ‘I don’t know. I’m still cautious of inviting too much attention to ourselves.’

  ‘Why are you so afraid for me? Hara treat me like normal. What difference would it really make?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ Flick said. ‘But my instincts advise me to be careful, that’s all. You and Mima are special, but I’m not convinced all hara
would think that way.’

  Lileem already knew that when one significant event occurs, then others are waiting to manifest, impatiently in a line. Therefore, when they returned to the ‘Esmeraldarine’ and found Terez there, sitting with Ulaume on the roof, she was not surprised. He hadn’t sought them out for so long, she had begun to wonder if he ever would again, but now, here he was, the creature of dark, sharing a drink with Ulaume in the last of the sunset. Lileem was pleased to see him.

  ‘Terez wants to talk to us,’ Ulaume said as Flick and Lileem jumped aboard. His tone was tense. ‘Flick, you must persuade Mima to hear this. It’s important.’

  Flick sighed. Mima would be hiding below deck, seething with all the complicated bitter emotions Terez’s proximity inspired in her. While Flick went to reason with her, Lileem sat down. Her head was aching in three different places. She felt dizzy.

  ‘You have grown a lot since the last time I saw you,’ Terez said to her. ‘It’s uncanny.’

  Lileem had nothing to say to this. ‘Have you brought us anything?’

  Terez produced a leather bag. ‘Not much. Some trinkets.’ He pulled an object out of the bag and passed it to her. ‘Here, it’s yours.’ It was a small white carving of a har, very beautiful. He wore an ornate head-dress and the detail was astounding.

  ‘It’s lovely,’ Lileem said, turning it in her hands. ‘So delicate. I wish I could carve like this. Does it represent anything?’

  ‘Yes,’ Terez said. ‘It is the Tigron.’

  ‘Somehar’s god?’

  ‘In a way. I’ll explain when the others are here.’

  Lileem held out the little carving to Ulaume, but he would not take it. He was frowning, and his composure was ruffled. This meant Terez had told him something he didn’t like, something that endangered his control of life. Ulaume always hated things like that, especially so since the episode with the Uigenna. He was superstitious about the carving. Lileem was so full of curiosity, she forgot about how frightened and threatened she’d felt only minutes before. She enjoyed mysteries.

  Flick emerged from below deck, with Mima following, her face set into a surly expression. She had her arms folded and everything about her was closed in and hostile. She would never forgive Terez for what he’d said and done in the past and she couldn’t forgive herself for what she’d done, either. Lileem wished Mima would let it all go. Terez had been denied a life with the Uigenna, but surely that was for the best. What did Mima have to feel bad about now? Terez did not appear unhappy. He didn’t appear anything. Well, perhaps, there were reasons for regret, after all.

  ‘What’s so important?’ Flick said, sitting down beside Terez.

  Terez held out his hand to Lileem. ‘The carving,’ he said.

  Lileem handed it to him and he passed it to Flick.

  ‘Somehar else is inventing gods,’ Lileem said.

  Flick examined the carving. ‘It’s well crafted, but what’s so important about it? If other hara are creating dehara, it’s not that surprising.’ He held out the carving to Terez.

  ‘Look again,’ Terez said. ‘That is the Tigron of Immanion, the king of the Gelaming, if you like. The ruler of all Wraeththu.’

  ‘Well, they were bound to do that sooner or later,’ Flick said. ‘They think highly of themselves. Personally, I don’t have a king and never will. I won’t buy into Gelaming power fantasies.’

  ‘His name is Pellaz-har-Aralis,’ Terez said. ‘The carving is stylised, of course, so don’t look for resemblances.’

  Flick glanced again at the carving, then fixed Terez with a stare. ‘What are you suggesting?’

  ‘I travel widely in this land,’ Terez said. ‘I get to hear many things. I make sure I do. I’ve never stopped searching for my brothers, and my feet led me to what was once Varrish territory. It was there I met a har who came from Almagabra. He was Gelaming, attached in some small capacity to the noble house of Parasiel in Galhea, the home of Swift the Varr, now presumably Swift of the Parasiel, who has earned himself fame as a Gelaming lap dog. The har I met told me that Thiede had created himself a king and that his name is Pellaz.’

  ‘No,’ Flick said. ‘Don’t think it. It’s impossible.’

  ‘No it isn’t,’ Ulaume said, in a low voice. ‘You know that. This is what everything has been leading to. It makes sense of your story, Flick, about Pell’s inception and Thiede. This was the plan no har knew about. He never died. Cal was deceived.’

  ‘He couldn’t have been,’ Flick said. ‘It was too raw and real for him. I don’t believe it.’

  ‘But you have seen Pell in visions,’ Mima said. Her arms were unfolded now, though her skin looked sallow. ‘He spoke to you, and Ulaume never believed Pell was dead. By Aruhani, this is it! He sent you to us, Flick. He sent you to care for us, because he is a Wraeththu king, all-powerful. Because he can do it.’

  ‘Then he could have come for you himself,’ Flick said. ‘Don’t jump on this, Mima. There could be any number of explanations. Not least that Thiede just decided to call this king he made Pellaz. It could be anyhar.’

  ‘I agree,’ Terez said, ‘so I investigated further. It transpires that a har named Cal went to Galhea a few years back and that it’s rumoured he once had a connection with the Tigron. That is more than coincidence.’

  ‘When I felt Pell die,’ Ulaume said, ‘and when your friend Orien had that psychic episode, it must have been the exact moment when Thiede took Pell away from Cal. We misinterpreted what we felt. It was a transformation, not death.’

  ‘Cal burned the remains,’ Flick said. ‘I’m sure he didn’t make it up. You didn’t see him, talk to him. He knew what he saw and experienced, and it was Pell’s death. He had half his head blown off. There can be little mistake under those circumstances. I know Cal visited the Varrs. He did so with Pell. The stories are getting mixed up, that’s all.’

  ‘No, this was more recent,’ Terez said, ‘certainly since he murdered your friend at Saltrock.’

  ‘Why are you trying to explain this away?’ Mima said. ‘Flick, it is the answer. It’s why you and Ulaume were drawn to us.’

  ‘But if it were true, then surely Pell would have tried to make contact with you himself,’ Flick said. ‘Mima, please think about this. Don’t give in to wishful thinking. If he lives, he’s obviously not thinking about you, or Terez, or Ulaume or me. Not even Cal. Maybe he wanted this. Maybe he was in on it from the start. But, if he is this Tigron, he doesn’t care about you. You must be dead to him, as I am, as we all are.’

  Lileem was watching Mima’s face. She noticed the way Mima recoiled from Flick’s words. They were harsh, but true, and despite everything, Mima was no fool.

  ‘Flick’s right,’ Terez said. ‘It would once have been my instinct to believe this fully, without question, but now I am wiser. I’ll go to Immanion and find out for myself, and if there is any truth in this story I will find you and tell you.’

  ‘Hara don’t just ‘go’ to Immanion,’ Flick said. ‘You must know that. Many don’t even believe it exists. The Gelaming create legends about themselves, and one of those legends is that nohar finds the city unless the Gelaming invite them there.’

  ‘I will discover what is truth and what is myth,’ Terez said. ‘I don’t need invitations. You cannot do it, because you need to remain here in hiding. But think of this, if Pell does live and he is Tigron, then he could provide the protection you need for Mima and Lileem. This must be important to you all.’

  ‘If he lives and is Tigron, it’s my thought that he’s abandoned all aspects of his past,’ Flick said. ‘I wouldn’t count on an offer of protection. He could have done that any time. He might not even acknowledge you as kin.’

  ‘We are protected,’ Lileem said abruptly. ‘We don’t need anyhar else to do it. We have ourselves.’ She was filled with a fear of her life disintegrating around her. She didn’t want change. There was nothing that needed changing. Whatever happened that she couldn’t handle herself, Flick, Ulaume and Mima would d
eal with it.

  ‘I have to agree with Flick,’ Mima said, ‘even though it hurts to do it. I want Pell to be alive so much, yet if he is, I have to face that he has no interest in us. If he wanted to find us, he could have done, but as yet, he clearly hasn’t bothered trying.’

  Lileem was surprised that Mima had changed her mind so quickly, but then again she could see in Mima’s face all those difficult feelings she couldn’t straighten out. Mima felt abandoned, all over again.

  ‘I hope to all the dehara it isn’t true,’ Flick said in an uncharacteristically cruel tone. ‘Because if it is, then it means Orien died for nothing and I lost Seel for nothing. Cal went insane for nothing and has blood on his hands for eternity. If Pell lives, he’s as much responsible for what happened in Saltrock as Cal was.’

  Lileem opened her mouth to offer some comfort, because she could see how upset Flick was but, before she could speak, he threw down the carving, leapt off the boat onto the bank and marched off into the trees. For a moment, all was silent.

  ‘I knew this news would be difficult,’ Terez said. ‘I had thought of the implications in it too.’

  ‘You must find out if it is true though,’ Mima said. ‘I have to know.’

  ‘I will do what I can,’ Terez said.

  Lileem picked up the little carving Flick had discarded and held it out to Terez.

  ‘Keep it,’ he said. ‘I have no need for it.’

  Lileem put the carving of the Tigron in a drawer in her cabin, although she liked to take it out at night, when she was alone, and study it. Not for one moment did she ever doubt that what Terez had told them was true. Neither did she think that Pellaz had coldly and consciously abandoned his surviving kin and friends. She was sure he just didn’t know about them, that other things occupied his attention. If he had truly died and been resurrected, perhaps he couldn’t even remember his human family. Everyhar was reacting in a very personal way, but Lileem had never had business with Pellaz. She had no expectations of him, and no disappointments in him. If anything, the idea of him intrigued her greatly. All her life, she’d heard about him, and the way he affected others made him all the more fascinating. Lileem liked both Mima and Terez very much, and considered them to be beautiful, dashing and daring creatures. It made sense to her that a Cevarro should end up as king of all Wraeththu. It was terrible to her that any of the family had been killed, because she was sure they had all been special people. Flick, Ulaume and Mima lashed out against Pellaz in hurt and resentment. Terez merely set himself the task of discovering the truth. Lileem herself simply decided to wait. This was a story that had yet to reach its conclusion.