The Edgar Pangborn Megapack

by Edgar Pangborn

  And in spite of all this, her manifest interest in living, I think she sensed all the time that the appeal would probably fail, and the appeal for executive clemency. Once or twice—only once or twice—she was bitter and miserable. I will not make a saint of her, and so lose what she really was. She was greater in many ways than most of us; she was also a nineteen-year-old girl, unfortunate, frequently sharp-tongued and hasty; loving beyond measure to her friends but incapable of suffering a fool with patience. Once, only once, I saw her truly angry. Well, she had said to Warden Sharpe himself that she wanted no visits from the chaplain, and then after respecting her wish for quite a long time he had come in anyhow, poor earnest man, and prayed at her—just unable, in his good intentions, to understand that there really are those who prefer to employ their minds in other ways, especially when the time is short. But I found out on talking with her, after her anger had given way to amusement, that what had chiefly exasperated her was her inability to recall chapter and verse numbers for the quotation from Exodus she wanted to cite to him: “Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.” (It’s XXII, 18, if you’re curious.) She said: “I did want to give him just the numbers so he’d have the fun of looking it up himself.”

  Later, unsmiling, she asked me: “Will it accomplish something, do you think, if I’m able to demonstrate with what peace a freethinker can die?”

  She was like that. She could say that, and saying it, compel me to answer straightforwardly instead of with a mere desperate insistence that I didn’t think she would die. I said: “Yes.” Then of course I was driven to say the other thing too, because, like Edith and Cecil, I loved her and I could not look at the thought of her death. But the yes was what she wanted and what she remembered.

  She would not permit me to be present at the execution. She said I must stay with Edith at that hour, and that was right, and I did so. We lived through the time—I don’t care to remember any of it except that Edith took hold of my hand and held it above the life growing in her body, until the minute hand had gone past that mark.

  Warden Sharpe has told me there was “no confusion.” Callista walked alone—of course. Sharpe says she smiled suddenly at the chaplain, patted his arm, said: “It’s all right. Come with us if you want to.” When they strapped her in the chair she said only: “You people here are not responsible for any of this. I’d like you to know I understand that.” Then the hood was over her face, and an employee of the sovereign state moved the switch to perform on her body the ultimate indecency.

  She was one of the lonely and strange. Though we destroy them, they give us a light that can become our own.

  WILDERNESS OF SPRING

  Originally published in 1958.

  DEDICATION

  To my Sister,

  MARY C. PANGBORN

  AUTHOR’S NOTE

  Pastor John Williams of Deerfield is a historical figure; Belding, Stebbins, Hoyt, Wells and Hawks were actual names in the Deerfield of 1704. With these minor exceptions, all characters in this novel are completely fictitious, not intended to suggest any actual person living or dead.

  The language of the dialogue is a compromise, an attempt to convey some quality of early eighteenth-century speech, but not to create a literal reproduction of it, since that might be tedious and obscure in some places to modern readers. For a literal reproduction the worst nuisance would have been those words, such as “naughty,” that have changed not in form but in meaning or emotional charge. I have tried to avoid all these except where the context should make plain their archaic sense. I think the use of “thee” and “thou” is substantially correct. At that time the second person singular could be used in English as in most European languages today, for intimates and children, but the universal “you” was already displacing it. The third person singular verb ending was obsolescent but still in some use; “hath” and “doth” seem to have survived long after the ending was abandoned in other verbs.

  In the modern (Everyman) edition of Montaigne, the essay that Mr. Kenny asks for is entitled “Of Training” instead of “Use Makes Perfect.” The copy from Mr. Kenny’s library was the seventeenth-century translation by Charles Cotton.

  My special thanks to Mrs. Kelsey Flower of Deerfield, who gave me welcome aid with the research; and to the personnel of the State Library at Albany, N.Y. for their unfailing helpfulness and courtesy.

  PART ONE

  Chapter One

  High clouds drove across the dark toward abiding calm. Ben Cory watched them rolling under west wind down a winter sky, until his father’s voice drew him back into the pool of firelight and candleshine. The moment’s alarm of loneliness lingered, another occasion when the self disturbed by the not-self desires the assurance of boundaries. Where does the self end and the universe begin? Ben knew the inquiry to be a corridor where many doors open on darkness but not all.

  Most of the days of that February had been whitely brilliant, the nights heavy with malignant doubts of wartime. Outside Deerfield’s palisade, where one did not go alone, Ben at fourteen could never forget the enemy, the Others. Indians and French—or say danger itself, a thing of the mind harsh as an arrow in the flesh. In the cave of darkness that was the garret at bedtime, with Reuben’s breath tickling his shoulder, the thought of the Others often entered behind Ben Cory’s eyes. If sleep refused him his parents’ talk might be recalled, and that sense of the Others, the quiet-footed, would become a commentary like secret laughter. They could laugh, those bronze people of the wilderness; they could laugh and cry, as wolves do.

  On this evening of the twenty-ninth of February, 1704, snow was drifted mightily against Deerfield’s palisade, crusted and frozen over. All winter the village had shivered to warnings: the French might try it. Governor Dudley sent reinforcements as generously as other commitments of a scared Massachusetts would allow; then the waiting, and the snow.

  Ben’s father had recently received a letter from Great-uncle John Kenny of Roxbury. As he discussed it that evening with Ben’s mother, the boys could listen. From an Englishman who escaped Port Royal and reached Boston, Mr. Kenny had learned the French were friendlier than ever with the Abenaki tribes of Acadia. Joseph Cory read aloud: “I am moved to wonder whether we may ever know a time when the good works of men shall be no longer set at naught by embroilments of faction and credo, or by maneuvering of states and principalities. It is a sorry thing that a man should refrain from speaking his mind, overborne by the righteous who forget it was said: Be not righteous overmuch: Ecclesiastes vii; 16. I hate no man for that he believeth in other fashion than I do, be he Anabaptist, Quaker, Papist, I care nothing. He hath his light, so let me live by mine own.”

  Ben’s mother was sewing, in her favorite small chair by the fireplace, the day’s work never quite ended, candlelight mild on her dark face and her fingers that hurried because she was troubled. “Truly, Joseph, he displayeth much pride.”

  “Is it wrong, Adna, a man should be proud? Brave too—nay, reckless, seeing the letter might have fallen in the wrong hands.”

  “But—to make himself, as it were, judge of all things.…”

  Ben glanced at the enigma of his younger brother’s face, wondering which view Reuben would share.

  Hesitantly Adna Cory said: “You’ve spoke, times, of inviting Mr. Kenny here. I’d be pleased of course. In the spring, perhaps, before such time as you’ll be too busied with the plowing and all?”

  Joseph Cory sighed. Ben’s parents often left much unsaid, the silences a communication not always excluding himself and Reuben. Neither now mentioned the smallness of the house, the cramping difficulties of living on a raw frontier. Even by frontier standards the house was meager—two rooms downstairs and the lean-to where old Jesse Plum dwelt in frowsty security; upstairs the garret and that was all. Ben knew his mother’s family was or had been wealthy; so was Grandmother Cory in Springfield. But Jose
ph Cory was proud, with a sharp-cornered aversion to owing anyone anything.

  The land spread generously fruitful here at the edge of wilderness; good times ought to bloom in this village if ever an end came to the alarms and imperatives of war. Under that stress it suffered the bleakness of a place often forgotten, where a handful of garrison soldiers tried to hold themselves ready for disaster, nourishing scant patience for Deerfield and not loved there. They cleaned their dark tools and cursed the weather, the Indians, the French, the pay or lack of it, above all their own foolishness in joining the militia.

  Ben’s mother and father were surely wondering in silence how the house could provide for such a guest as John Kenny, Grandmother Cory’s elder brother, a fabulous merchant-importer, owner of ships and warehouses of the fat Boston trade. To Ben, Uncle John was a figure of learning, wealth and magnificence moving seven or eight feet tall in a haze of legend, mythical as Dudley or the Mathers or Queen Anne. Ben had heard his father call Uncle John slight and frail—a stiff breeze would blow him away; Ben’s mind noted the information, his heart not accepting it at all. Joseph Cory said at last: “Well, Adna, he’s sixty-seven. I suppose he seldom leaves Roxbury, especially now when all’s uncertain. I hear the Boston road is fair as far as Hadley, but they mean for good riders, young men. Up from Hadley ’tis what you remember, love, muddy as dammit even when the spring’s past. And he’s not in the best health—says so here, further on.”

  Ben noticed Reuben’s face drooping in resignation. Ru would know, as Ben did, that even if Uncle John were invited he probably could not come. The untamed roads were lonely; an old man on horseback could die swiftly from an arrow or bullet out of the brush.… Ben supposed he ought to take up a candle and persuade Reuben to bed. At fourteen Ben was expected to assume many of a man’s responsibilities, not least of them the jumpy task of riding herd on his brother, who would be twelve in May.

  Ben stood tall for his age, his slimness toughened by farm and other work to wiry flexibility. He could split wood nearly as well as his father, mend shoes better than Jesse Plum, manage the big kettles for his mother’s candlemaking. But he could search his face in a mirror for signs of maturity and find maddeningly few. It remained a mild, large-eyed boy’s face, high at the forehead, the jaw square but rounded at the chin. Father’s craggy nose had character; Father was said to resemble Great-grandfather Stephen Cory, the sailor.

  Legend placed Stephen Cory aboard Lord Howard’s flagship when the Armada came against England in 1588. It just might have been true, for he was past middle life when he gave up the wild universe of the sea and begat Ben’s grandfather Matthew Cory, and he was in his salt-encrusted seventies when he died in 1643 in the little new town of Boston. Whether the myth was true or false, Stephen Cory lived gaudily in Ben’s fancy, strutting the quarterdeck, thrusting a beaky face like Joseph Cory’s to the leaping spray and the enormous winds.

  But Ben Cory in these prosaic modern times had grown resigned to a nose that stayed straight and small like his mother’s, and his mouth was wide and full like hers—not a mouth for sternness, said the mirror. If Ben glared commandingly at the glass, somebody inside him hooted with merriment. His voice had changed but could still crack; the down on his face did not yet need shaving, being light in color.

  “I never heard,” said Joseph Cory, “that the Abenaki had any better stomach for winter campaigns than any other damned Inj’ans.”

  Adna Cory bit off a thread. “Septembers, Octobers, after they have their own corn harvested, then they come.” Adna Pownal Cory would have been thinking of many past times when summer was fading but no dead leaves lay fallen to rustle warnings of approach. “A September, was it not, when they attacked the Beldings? Poor Sam! Thou wast six that year, Benjamin, and all warrior with no mind to be hustled out of the way—remember?”

  “Yes, Mother, I do.” A September Sabbath. The Beldings had gone to bring their corn from the outer fields before the service, when Indians ambushed the wagon, raging briefly into the village and away.

  The Corys were not members of the church. Joseph Cory had been brought up in the congregation at Springfield, but when he came to Deerfield with his bride in 1688 he had declined either to join or to explain his failure to do so. Adna Cory was a member of the Anglican communion, which had been permitted to exist in Massachusetts for several years. On many Sundays and Lecture Days, in defense against public opinion, the family went to the meeting-house, the boys rigidly enduring the rhymed Psalms and the tedium of Mr. John Williams, who tended to preach in a sort of febrile blank verse.

  They had stayed at home on the morning the Beldings were ruined. Ben remembered the explosion of Sabbath quiet into screams and shots, Father snatching the flintlock from its deerhorn rack and Mother gone very white, hurrying himself and four-year-old Reuben up to the garret. Ben was no warrior then—Adna Cory’s fantasy developed that later, maybe from Ben’s insistence on crowding in front of Reuben because he hoped to see what was going on.

  For the Beldings help came too late—the mother and three children killed, the father and two other children taken captive to Canada, another child wounded and left for dead. Later Ben watched a soldier carrying in nine-year-old Sam Belding, who had revived and hidden in the swamp. The thin legs dangled; Sam’s head rolled against the soldier’s jacket, a bloody mess. Sam lived. Ben at six had understood it adequately: we, and the Others. The village could be furious but not astonished. Sam Belding’s head became a commonplace, like any pitiable thing seen long enough for the seeing mind to grow its own scar.

  “Now I think of it,” Joseph Cory said, “there may have been Abenaki with the French who raided Schenectady fourteen years ago.” He left the table to sit near the fire, long-limbed and rangy, tired from a day at the woodpile and at mending harness. He adjusted a log on the flames and yawned, smiling at his cavernous noise, rubbing his palms up over his forehead; a clean and sober man, still young. Ben grew bemused with a fancy that his father’s face had become translucent to some other fire behind the hawk-nosed profile, untidy sandy hair, pointed chin, friendly thin mouth, speculative gray eyes. “Those poor fools at Schenectady! That you don’t remember, Ben. The meeting voted our palisade as soon as word came from Schenectady—early March, you but a few weeks old. I was an angry man that year as well as proud.” His glance at his wife invited sharing of other memories; Adna Cory lifted a dark eyebrow and blushed a little, not quite smiling. “We all labored beyond ourselves to build that stockade, Ben, chopping frozen ground. Had cause—they were caught asleep at Schenectady, those Dutchmen. Men at Albany warned ’em of danger, but they were carrying on some factional quarrel with the people at Albany, and to show how lightly they held any word from that source they put up snowman sentinels. Marry come up!—and went to bed, so the Inj’ans and French walked in through the open gates. Snowmen! They that were butchered in bed were the fortunate. I’ll never understand my fellow men. Babes and women cut open and burned alive.…”

  The Abenaki, Ben knew, had not changed. Climbing out there with Reuben the other day, he had seen the snow, high and hard-crusted against the stockade walls. Beyond the window clouds would be still rushing in their silence. Ben heard his mother saying in distress: “So long ago, Joseph! Let it be.”

  “Oh, Adna, I do rattle on.… I hear Captain Wells is not content about our palisade. It will stand, so we have men behind it, not snowmen. And I hear the common talk that Dudley should have done better by us. I think he did what he could. What’s one minikin village in all the Massachusetts?—but you can’t ask the village to see it so, it a’n’t human. Dudley’s politics and religion cause them to damn him for all else. Should caterpillars ravage the corn again it will be Dudley’s fault, same as the poor man keepeth the butter from coming in the chum and is to blame if Goody What’s-’er-name hath a flux.”

  “I pray our Father we never need the stockade.” Adna Cory’s voice held
a drawling note of fatigue or drowsiness, not responding to her husband’s labored mirth. She studied Ben; the one long glance, he knew, would tell her whether he needed buttons sewn on or holes mended, whether his face and hands wanted washing, whether his supper had been sufficient, whether he was likely to remember about hearing and prompting Reuben in prayers at bedtime. The glance gave Ben a passing mark and moved on to embrace Reuben. “Mm—sitting there like Mumchance that was hanged for saying nothing! Sleep got thee, Ru? Eyes drawing sand?”

  Reuben smiled angelically and stretched, his thin face reflecting her own—small nose, high forehead, pointed ears. He bore an even more emphatic resemblance to Ben, his eyes a darker gray. The ocean must be gray like that, Ben supposed, the gray Atlantic that his father had once glimpsed and never forgotten—speaking of it sometimes like a man who has promised himself to revisit a mystery if the demands of daily existence ever allow it.

  Ben knew that a vulnerable quality in Reuben troubled their father. It was easy to wound Reuben. Ben had done it more than once, without intent and with regret in the same moment. No doubt Joseph Cory prayed the boy would grow stronger armor with increase of manhood.

  * * * *

  Reuben Cory watched his tall brother lift a candle in its pewter sconce and trim a blob of wax with his thumbnail. Ben’s hand, firm below the flame and golden, brought Reuben the amazement of a miracle, a thing never seen before. A familiar knife-scar on the forefinger—even that was new, though Reuben recalled quite well how Ben had got it ignobly a year ago by losing his patience when Jesse Plum was showing him how to whittle a maple stick. A text from the prescribed Scriptural reading sounded in Reuben’s mind, as happened so often when he was startled, delighted or disturbed: I will praise thee, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. But it seemed to the boy that something here was false. The thought might be dutiful and correct, yet was he actually praising the Lord for having made Ben beautiful? Why, hardly. Rather he knew, as with Puritan skill and insistence he searched his heart, that he was more of a mind to praise Ben for being himself—which was heresy, and of course absurd. Uncle John’s letter must be to blame.