The Hitwoman Plays Games (Confessions of a Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman Book 24)

by JB Lynn

  I tried to muster up indignation, but his description wasn’t far off how I felt. But then I forgot all about what he’d said, too distracted by the sight in front of me.

  18

  Templeton, head down, was striding toward me while talking on the phone.

  Curious to see what he was up to, I ran into the woods and hid behind a tree.

  “Stealthy,” God drawled sarcastically.

  “You’re sure it’s just a test run?” Templeton asked the other person in his conversation and waited for a response. “Okay then.” He ended his call, stowed the phone in a pocket, and continued on toward the street. I followed after him, taking care not to step on any twigs and alert him to my presence.

  By the time I reached the road, he was climbing into the back of a black town car. My stomach lurched. I knew that car. I’d seen it before.

  “What the hell is Templeton doing?” I muttered under my breath as I ducked down while the car pulled away.

  “Playing poker,” a male voice said from so close behind me that I felt his breath on my ear.

  “Aaaaah!” I screamed, turning around and shoving him before I even looked at his face.

  Gino stumbled backward, caught off guard by the attack.

  I blinked rapidly as my brain tried to make sense of who had just given me such a fright. My heart was pounding and my shoulder, sore from the climbing, burned in protest.

  Gino righted himself and grinned.

  I glared at him.

  He began to chuckle.

  “What are you doing sneaking up on me like that?” I whisper-screamed at him. After all, we were on Herschel’s property and there was no telling who could be lurking.

  “You scream like a girl,” he said with a wide grin, amusement dancing in his eyes.

  “I am a girl!”

  He raised his eyebrows and gave me an appreciative once over. “I can see that.”

  I self-consciously crossed my arms over my chest. God was right. I was no sex kitten. I wouldn’t mind being a praying mantis and biting off a male’s head, though. “Why are you here?” I snapped.

  “Because the boss and Templeton are playing poker with the D.A. tonight. Might be a good time to try to nab the Skee-Ball.”

  “You couldn’t have called and told me that?” I groused.

  “Then I would have missed seeing this close-up.” He waved his hand to encompass my body. “It’s even better than last night’s show.”

  I frowned at him. “So now you think you have free rein to treat me like a sex object?”

  “Isn’t that what you’re presenting yourself as?” He closed the distance between us with three quick steps.

  Startled, I stepped backward and found my back pressed against a tree.

  “Aren’t you trying to look desirable?” he asked softly. He stood so close I could feel the heat of his body against the length of mine.

  I gulped nervously. My racing heartbeat now had nothing to do with having been startled.

  He moved closer, his lips practically caressing my ear. “Do you know what I like best about you?”

  I forgot to breathe.

  He leaned back just enough to stare into my eyes. “Can you guess what my favorite thing about you is, Maggie?”

  I couldn’t, but in that moment, I desperately wanted to know. “What?”

  “How easy it is to wind you up,” he murmured before winking at me and leveraging his body away from mine. He chuckled and stepped away. “Seriously, I’ve never had anyone fall for a story as fast as you do. What’d you think, a new bra and a tight tee and I wouldn’t be able to control myself around you?”

  Embarrassed, because that was pretty much exactly what I’d been thinking, I looked away. “It’s for a job,” I muttered defensively.

  “Yeah, I figured that.”

  Feeling like a fool, my cheeks burning with mortification, I looked everywhere but at him.

  “Maggie,” he said softly.

  “What?” I practically spat out.

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “I shouldn’t have done that to you.”

  I shook my head, hating the pity he offered. “No. I deserved it. I look like an idiot.”

  Gino didn’t respond.

  I risked a glance at him and found that he was staring at the ground, rubbing his chin like he was pondering some great dilemma.

  “I’ve got to change,” I muttered, not sure I wanted to know what was going on in his head. “Give me ten minutes and I’ll help you with the Skee-Ball.” Without waiting for an answer, I hurried down to the house. I didn’t want to wait and hear confirmation that he didn’t actually find me sexy.

  “That was awkward,” God remarked as I stalked down the driveway.

  “Which one,” I asked, feeling sorry for myself. “When Patrick wouldn’t kiss me or when Gino was making fun of me?”

  “You wanted the cop to kiss you?” God sounded appalled.

  “It would have been nice.” I passed the barn and noted that Aunt Leslie and Lorraine Lassalan, perched on bales of hay, were still enjoying their tea. Thankfully, they didn’t notice me.

  “But things ended so badly with him,” the lizard argued. “He broke your heart.”

  “He hurt my feelings,” I told him. “I don’t get my heart broken.”

  “Maybe that’s your problem,” God mused. “You don’t let anyone get close enough.”

  I headed for the back of the house, hoping to get in through the kitchen and avoid contact with anyone there. “I thought you didn’t want me to be involved with Patrick,” I reminded the lizard.

  “I don’t, but considering the emotional attachment you had, I would have thought…”

  He trailed off as we heard Herschel and Aunt Susan arguing in the kitchen over whether to use cayenne or chili pepper in a recipe.

  I quickly veered off, deciding instead the safer route might be through the front door after all.

  Armani and Katie were sitting in the living room when I crept in. Katie didn’t notice my entrance because she was absentmindedly stroking a sleeping DeeDee while watching a cartoon. Armani gave me a subtle nod, indicating I should pass through. I flashed her a grateful grin and made my escape.

  I quickly changed into a normal bra and topped it off with an all-black ensemble, the perfect outfit for cat burglaring. I pulled an oversized sweatshirt on for good measure as Piss strolled in.

  “Where are you off to, sugar?” she asked curiously.

  “Skee-Ball retrieval. Want to come along?”

  “Okay.”

  Her answer was so non-committal, I had no idea how she felt about the outing, but I was grateful for her company.

  I made a stealthy escape back past Armani, Katie, and DeeDee and got into my car.

  “You’re not thinking of doing this alone, are you?” God asked worriedly.

  “No, but if I leave my car here, people will look for me. Then, when they don’t find me, they’ll worry. Then, Griswald will be pressured into putting out an APB for me and the cops will find me breaking into the DA’s house. So, I was going to move my car…if that’s okay with you.”

  “Someone’s having a grouchy day,” Piss purred. “Something bothering you, sugar?”

  “She’s upset the redhead didn’t kiss her and that the bodyguard wasn’t tempted to,” God told her.

  “I missed Patrick?” Piss pouted.

  “You didn’t miss anything,” the lizard drawled. “He showed up without food for anyone. Ha!”

  “You’re a spiteful thing,” Piss meowed.

  “You two have got to quit it,” I warned as I pulled up the driveway. “This is serious. If the District Attorney catches me, I could go to jail, not just for this, but for everything.”

  “Sorry, sugar.” The cat kneaded my thigh.

  “Gino won’t let anything happen to you,” God opined.

  “I thought you didn’t like him,” I said as the man in question emerged from the woods.

  “He equated me to a horse
shoe,” the lizard reminded me indignantly. “And you didn’t correct him.”

  Piss tittered.

  “In the back,” I told her as Gino opened the passenger door and slid in.

  The cat quickly leapt into the rear of the car.

  Gino gave me a once over. “I see you swung to the other end of the spectrum.”

  “What does that mean?” I asked, pulling onto the road.

  With a shrug, he said, “That there’s a happy medium between looking like you’re attending a Druid funeral and dressing like a trampy mermaid.”

  God chuckled.

  “Unicorn,” I corrected. “It’s unicorn glitter.”

  “Fine, looking like a trampy unicorn,” he shot back.

  “Uh oh,” Piss mocked from the back seat. “I think you have bigger problems than me bickering with God.”

  I squeezed the steering wheel, knowing she was right. This was too dangerous a mission to go into being at odds with Gino.

  “My car’s at the park,” the man beside me muttered. “By the gazebo.”

  Nodding my understanding, I drove in that direction. An uncomfortable silence made the air feel thin in the car. I stole a sideways glance at Gino. He was looking out the side window, drumming his fingers against his knee.

  I swallowed nervously, not knowing what to say, and concentrated on driving.

  As we reached his car, he cleared his throat. “I shouldn’t have said you looked like a tramp,” he said gruffly.

  “Or a Druid,” I countered, trying to lighten the mood as I parked.

  He glanced over at me. “Or a Druid.”

  “There’s something I don’t understand,” I said.

  “There’s a lot I don’t get,” he muttered under his breath. He shook his head, looked me in the eye, and asked, “What?”

  “Why would the thief give the Skee-Ball to the District Attorney?”

  “In exchange for a lighter sentence.” Gino frowned. “Like I said, this whole thing is a very well-designed mouse trap.”

  “And he’s just going to step into it?” I asked. Delveccio was a lot of things, but stupid wasn’t one of them.

  “No,” Gino said with a sigh. “We are.”

  19

  “We’ll take my car,” Gino said, opening his door and getting out of mine.

  I scrambled out after him, waving for Piss to join me. “I have another question.”

  He looked at me over the roof of his vehicle. “Can’t wait to hear it.”

  “If Delveccio’s at a card game, why aren’t you there, too? You know, guarding him or whatever.”

  “Excellent question,” God piped up from my bra.

  Gino got behind the steering wheel and waited for me to climb in. I ushered Piss inside without asking his permission and he didn’t even raise an eyebrow at the cat scooting into the back. I settled into the passenger seat and stared at him, waiting for an answer.

  He flopped his head back against the headrest. “The boss isn’t real happy with me at the moment.”

  “Why?”

  “Your boyfriend.”

  “Angel?”

  He arched an eyebrow. “You got another one I don’t know about?”

  “I don’t have any,” I replied crossly.

  He shrugged. “Uh huh. Whatever you say. Anyway, the boss and I have been…disagreeing about Angel.”

  “Because of the robbery?” I guessed. I still hadn’t really wrapped my head around the fact Angel had been willing to help old Navy buddies steal a human organ.

  “That…and other things.”

  “Like what?”

  He shook his head. “Angel was always a straight shooter. The legit one. But lately, his choices…it’s like he’s trying to choose whether to live the life.”

  “A life of crime?” I asked, alarmed. “Why would he do that? He always said he didn’t want any part of his family’s umm…business dealings.”

  Gino nodded.

  “So what changed his mind?”

  “No one seems to know.” He gave me a probing look. “I take it you don’t, either?”

  I shook my head.

  “Surprised the boss hasn’t asked you to figure it out.” Gino started the car.

  “He asked me to keep him out of trouble, not ask why he was getting into it. Besides, I doubt Angel would tell me. Things haven’t been the same between us since that whole thing on the roof of the hospital.”

  “I’ve noticed.”

  I glanced over at Gino, who was staring straight ahead, trying to figure out what the tension in his voice meant. When it became clear he wasn’t going to elaborate, I changed the subject. “So Delveccio’s sending us to the slaughter at the DA’s house?”

  “He wouldn’t do that to you,” Gino assured me. “That’s why I’m here. To make sure nothing happens to you.”

  I rolled my eyes.

  “I saw that,” Gino muttered. “Look, I get that you’d rather work with Mulligan, but you’re stuck with me, so let’s make the best of it.”

  “Okay,” I agreed. “Why are they playing poker?”

  “Tonight? Because there’s a high stakes game the night after tomorrow.”

  “Higher stakes than the Skee-Ball?”

  Gino chuckled. “Oh yeah.”

  “And what’s Templeton got to do with it?”

  “Their surrogates are going to play the actual hands.”

  “And Templeton’s the best Delveccio could find?” I asked, alarmed. I liked Templeton, but he didn’t strike me as the best player I’d ever gone up against.

  Gino glanced over at me. “He’s the player in town who owes the boss a favor.”

  I wanted to ask him what Templeton owed Delveccio but I didn’t want to put Gino in an awkward position. I wondered if Templeton would tell me if I asked him directly. Of course, then I’d have to explain how I even knew about the game. I let out a heavy sigh. Why did everything always have to be so complicated?

  “You okay?” Gino asked.

  “I’m fine.”

  “Then we’re doomed,” Gino quipped.

  “What?”

  “It’s my experience that if a woman utters the fateful phrase, I’m fine, it means you’re doomed.”

  “So you’ve said. Do you have any idea how sexist that is?”

  “But it’s accurate.”

  “Please,” God begged from my bra. “Don’t get into an argument about this, too. You have work to do.”

  Realizing he was right; I turned my attention to the task at hand. “Okay. Tell me the plan.”

  “Don’t have one.”

  I turned to him in shock. “What do you mean, you don’t have one?”

  “It wasn’t my idea to try for it tonight. That was the boss’s brainstorm. I think this ‘dry run’ poker game thing is part of the trap. The DA’s just making sure he can yank the boss’s chain. If he snags us on a breaking-and-entering it’s just icing.”

  “When were you going to tell me that?”

  “I figured we’d get to the house, see that it was impenetrable, and decide together that this is a waste of time.”

  I eyed him suspiciously. “You were going to blame me?”

  He shook his head. “No. I was simply going to use your agreement to shore up my argument when I disappoint the boss later.”

  He let me sit with that as he drove the rest of the way to the DA’s neighborhood. We parked two blocks away.

  “Can you at least lose the sweatshirt?” Gino requested.

  “I dressed in all black,” I said defensively. “It’s the haute couture of the breaking-and-entering crowd.”

  “Please?” he requested.

  “Fine.” I got out of the car and pulled the offending clothing item over my head.

  “Well, don’t just sit there,” God reprimanded Piss. “We’ve got a job to do.”

  The cat and Gino simultaneously climbed out of opposite sides of the car.

  I tossed the sweatshirt onto the passenger seat and slammed my door.


  Gino frowned at me. “Are you trying to attract attention?”

  “I wasn’t thinking,” I admitted as I realized the noise I’d made.

  “Of course not,” he muttered. “You’re ‘fine’.”

  “This is going to be a disaster,” God predicted.

  “You cannot have your good luck charm squeaking at the wrong moment,” Gino warned.

  “Again with the insults!” God railed. “I am so much more than a four-leaf clover!”

  I pulled the collar of my t-shirt away from my chest, stuck my head under the fabric, and told him, “Shut up or I’m leaving you here.”

  He stuck his tongue out at me. But at least he was silent doing it.

  Raising my head and dropping my shirt back into place, I told Gino, “Problem solved.”

  Wordlessly, he began to walk away. I hustled to catch up with him. Piss sprinted ahead of us, leading the way.

  “If we could get the Skee-Ball, would the poker game be called off?” I asked, worried that Templeton wasn’t a good enough player to win and would be in danger.

  Gino shook his head. “No, the game will go on. So don’t get any bright ideas about taking an unnecessary risk.”

  “I wasn’t.” I said, even though that was exactly what I was doing.

  He slowed enough to throw a disbelieving look at me. “Sure you were. That’s what you do, Maggie. You try to solve problems with no consideration for your own safety.”

  “No, I don’t.”

  “Oh yeah? Then why’d you go to such trouble to save Angel?”

  “Your boss expected me to,” I reminded him.

  “Why take out Patrick’s girlfriend?” he pressed.

  “I didn’t mean to kill her. She fell on her own syringe.”

  Gino stepped in front of me, forcing me to stop. His gaze locked on mine. “Why’d you save me, Maggie? It was my job to protect the boss and you saved me, why?”

  I stared up at him for a beat. I hadn’t thought about the time I’d taken on Delveccio’s former bodyguard, Vinnie, in a long time. “I never liked Vinnie.”

  “If the boss and I had ended up dead, a lot of your problems would have gone away. Why save us?”

  I shrugged helplessly. “It seemed like the right thing to do at the moment.”