Do What I Want: A High School Bully Romance (Dirty Little Secret Book 2)

by Kai Juniper

  "She's not a full detective yet. She's still in training. She used to be a cop."

  The excitement fades from Charlotte's face. "So she's not really a detective."

  "She is. She's just new at it. She only has one case."

  "Murder?" Charlotte asks, pushing her glasses up, her excitement returning.

  "Hit-and-run," I say.

  "The one that's been on the news? That's kind of like murder if the guy died."

  "He died? When did you hear that?"

  "I didn't. But they said he's in critical condition, which means he has a good chance of dying." She moves out of the way as a group of girls walks past us. "I bet it was a drunk driver."

  "Yeah, probably," I say, not wanting to talk about it. "I should get to class."

  "Yeah, me too. See you at lunch."

  "I might not be there," I say, hoping I can meet with Briggs at lunch. How weird is that? I used to dread meeting with him, and be scared for my life, and now I'm looking forward to it.

  That kiss we had in his bathroom yesterday keeps running through my head like a video loop I can't turn off. As much as I want to forget it, I can't. Instead I keep thinking about doing it again, but I won't let it happen, not when he's with Aubrey. I said that before and didn't follow through, but I'm committed to it now. I shouldn't even be thinking about getting involved with Briggs that way, even if he was single.

  "You're missing lunch again?" Charlotte asks.

  "Maybe. I need to study." My phone dings, and when I check it, I see A1 on the screen.

  It's a text from Briggs. Bleachers at noon.

  "Who's it from?" Charlotte asks, trying to see my phone.

  "No one." I quickly shut down my phone.

  Her eyes widen. "Are you dating someone and didn't tell me?"

  "No! Why would you think I'm dating someone?"

  "The way you looked when you saw that text. I've never seen you smile like that."

  "I didn't smile.

  "Uh, yeah, you did. And you better tell me who it is, but not now. I have to get to class, but I want the whole story about the mystery guy at lunch." She walks off.

  I can't meet her for lunch. I'm meeting with Briggs. I wonder if we’re just talking or if he has something else planned. Damn! I did it again. I was imagining us kissing after telling myself I wouldn't do that again.

  The bell rings just as I get to class. As usual, Mr. Walker gives me a dirty look when he sees me walking in. Even after admitting my dad didn't kill his grass, he still gives me dirty looks and I have no idea why.

  After taking my seat up front, I glance to the back but don't see Briggs there. Maybe he overslept.

  When I get to Chem lab, I wait for him at our table, but he doesn't show up.

  I text him. Are you here? Are you coming to lab?

  Right after I send it, he walks in, smiling a little when he sees me. It's one of those smiles where you can't tell if it's because he's happy or because he's up to something.

  "Did you oversleep?" I ask as he drops his messenger bag on the floor.

  "Had to do something with my dad."

  "On a school day?"

  "Did you get the supplies?" he asks, getting his lab manual out.

  "Not yet." I go up front and grab the supplies.

  When I get back, Briggs is scrolling through his phone.

  "Is something wrong?" I ask, noticing he keeps swearing under his breath.

  "Aubrey," he mutters, looking around to make sure no one's listening.

  "What about her?"

  "I'll tell you later." He takes a flask from the counter and starts the experiment.

  He's quiet for the rest of the lab, focusing on the assignment and jotting down notes. He's never been this attentive in lab. He's usually messing with his phone and letting me do most of the work. It sounds nerdy, but watching him be this into the experiment is kind of turning me on. A smart guy who's also really hot is pretty much my dream guy, but not if he's also an arrogant ass that can't be trusted. I have too much history with Briggs to know the guy I've been falling for isn't the real Briggs.

  When the bell goes off, Briggs leaves without even saying anything to me. I go out in the hall and see him arguing with Aubrey. Actually, she seems to be doing all the talking while he just shakes his head.

  "Ella?" Someone taps my shoulder.

  I turn and see Calvin there. "Hey, Calvin."

  "Hey, how's it going?" He smiles at me and I notice he cut his hair. The long, stringy bangs are gone and his hair is now cut short, almost completely shaved on the sides with a little length left on the top.

  "I like your hair," I tell him. "Did you just get it cut?"

  "Yeah." He runs his hand over it. "You really like it?"

  "I think it looks great."

  He smiles even more, almost like he sees me as more than a friend. I hope he doesn't think that. I'm not the least bit attracted to him, and I don't want to have to tell him that and risk hurting his feelings.

  "I should get going," I say.

  "Wait! I wanted to give you this." He holds out a hundred-dollar bill. "I didn't have cash on me the day you gave me a ride. Someone took my wallet."

  "Calvin, no. I'm not taking your money. I was just being a friend. You don't have to pay me."

  "Just take it." He takes my hand and puts the money in it. "You went out of your way to give me a ride and I wouldn't feel right not giving you something for your time."

  "That's really sweet, but seriously Calvin, it was no big deal. Keep your money." I try to give it back to him, but he won't take it.

  "Are you guys seeing this?" Finn yells, coming up next to Calvin. The people in the hall stop and look at Finn. "The Geek's paying Trailer Girl to fuck him!" Finn rips the bill from my hand. "A hundred! That's all he gave her! Trailer Girl's so desperate to get laid she'll do The Geek for a hundred dollars!"

  Finn's laughing, which makes everyone else laugh. They're such followers, and so freaking mean. I can't wait to get out of this place.

  "Sorry about this," I say to Calvin, but I'm not sure he heard me with all the laughing. I walk past him and down the hall, ignoring all the people staring and laughing at me.

  "Wait!" Finn yells. "You forgot your money, Trailer Girl! Take it so you can buy some deodorant and some decent clothes."

  I glance back at Finn and catch his eye. He doesn't show the least bit of remorse. I get that he wants to pretend we're still enemies, but this is taking it too far. It makes me think we really are still enemies, despite sharing a secret that could destroy our futures.

  At noon I'm desperate to talk to Briggs, not only about what my dad said this morning but also about what Finn did. I can't control Finn, but Briggs can.

  When I reach the bleachers, I walk behind them to the spot where we usually meet, but Briggs isn't there. Disappointment comes over me and I scold myself for it, realizing I was actually looking forward to seeing Briggs, and excited about it. What is wrong with me?

  "Over here," he says.

  I look back and see him at the very end of the bleachers, standing tall, a slight smile on his face.

  My excitement is immediately back, my pulse speeding up, and I'm getting that strange flutter in my stomach that happens whenever I see Briggs. I hate that my body reacts this way and wish I could understand why it does so I could make it stop.

  "I didn't want to be where anyone could see us," he explains as I come up to him.

  "Why are we meeting? Did something—"

  He stops me with a kiss that buckles my knees and takes my breath away. His hands are cupped around my face, and he's kissing me like he's been counting the seconds until we could do this again. I hate to admit it, but I feel the same way. I know it's wrong, and I know I should stop, but I can't force myself to do it.

  The kiss ends too soon and I hold on to Briggs as he slowly pulls away. I look up and see him smiling at me.

  "We're not done," he says. "I just need to tell you something."

  "What
?" I ask, staring at his blue eyes. The color doesn't even seem natural. It's the most beautiful shade of blue I've ever seen.

  "I ended things with Aubrey."

  "You did? When?"

  "Last night." He takes my hand, holding it in his. He's never held my hand like this. It feels strange, but I like it. I'm also scared by it because it's making me feel closer to him, and like this is real, when I keep trying to tell myself it's not.

  "What'd she say?"

  "She started yelling and screaming, so I hung up. Then she started texting me, so I blocked her."

  "You blocked her? She's going to kill you."

  "She can't hurt me. Even if she makes up lies about me and spreads it around school, nothing will happen. If anything, she'll be the one people turn against. I own this school and she knows it."

  "I saw you talking to her in the hall this morning. Was she trying to get you back?"

  "She was accusing me of cheating on her. She wanted to know who it was."

  "You didn't..." I stop, knowing he'd never tell her about us.

  "She doesn't know, and she never will."

  I nod, realizing Briggs wouldn't want her—or anyone—knowing about us. He'd be embarrassed to admit he's with the girl who lives in the trailer house. That alone should be a reason for me to end this right now, so why can't I? Why can't I stop this?

  Briggs pulls me into his arms and lowers his mouth to mine for another earth-shattering kiss that sends a shiver through me, all the way down to my toes. And that right there is why I keep doing this. It's too good to stop.

  I hear him chuckle as he pulls back. "What's that about?"

  "What?"

  "You always do that when I kiss you. You shiver, like you're cold."

  "I don't always do it. And I don't mean to. It just happens."

  "Whenever you kiss a guy?"

  "No. Whenever I..." I pause, embarrassed to admit this. "Whenever I kiss you."

  His lips rise just the slightest bit. "It only happens with me?"

  "Don't be getting a big head about this. You're a good kisser. Big deal. A lot of people are good kissers."

  "Actually, they're not. A lot of people suck at it. Like Aubrey. I don't know what the fuck she was doing, but it always felt like I was getting a dental exam when she kissed me."

  I laugh. "You're making that up."

  "I'm totally serious. It was the weirdest fucking thing. After the first few times, I'd had enough and stopped kissing her."

  "Did she ask why?"

  "Yeah, and I told her I don't like kissing. I didn't make it about her. I told her I don't like kissing in general."

  "And she was okay with that?"

  "She was as long as it wasn't about her."

  "But it's not really true, right? You must like kissing at least a little."

  "I like it a lot if it's the right person."

  Did he just imply that I'm that person?

  Before I can ask, he lifts my face to his and kisses me again, causing another shiver to go through me, but this time it's more of a tingle that lingers below my waist, centering on the spot where he had his hand that day in his room. I want him to do that again, but I'm afraid if he does, it'll lead to other stuff. The thing I've never done before.

  When I finally do it, it's not going to be with him. I am NOT losing my virginity to Briggs Chadwick. Even though he's been somewhat nice to me since the accident, the fact remains that he bullied me for years. I can't let myself forget that. No matter how much I like this version of Briggs, the old one is still there and could reappear at any time, which means whatever this is we're doing isn't going to last.

  Chapter Five

  Ella

  Briggs breaks from the kiss but keeps me in his arms. "Let's go somewhere."

  "Now? It's the middle of the day."

  "Yeah? So?"

  "We can't miss afternoon classes."

  "Why the hell not? What are they going to do to us?"

  "Report us absent and call our dads."

  "I'll go tell Ms. Whittaker we need to leave to work on an extra credit assignment. The woman loves me. She wouldn't even question it. She'd tell our teachers and get us excused from class."

  "You really have that kind of power?"

  "Hell yeah. I do that shit all the time. Sometimes I just need to get out of here and get some time alone and do what I want."

  "Like what?"

  "Anything. Every part of my fucking life is scheduled. Sometimes I just need a break."

  "So you skip school?"

  "Not a lot, but I've done it enough that Ms. Whittaker wouldn't question it."

  "She would if you were trying to get me excused too."

  "She's not gonna care if you miss a few classes. Besides, everyone knows you wouldn't skip class unless it was for something school related or an emergency. Including you in my story will just make it more believable."

  I consider it, but I'm nervous, thinking I'll get in trouble. But it's also kind of exciting, leaving in the middle of the day, with Briggs.

  "What would we do?" I ask. "If we left."

  "Anything you want. And definitely more of this." He kisses me and I feel my knees going weak again. How does he do that? Is he really that great of a kisser? He must be, because this has never happened before. I'm worried if we leave and continue this somewhere else, like his house, in his room, things will go too far. I'm not ready for that.

  I gently push him back. "Let's just stay here."

  "Why? We'll only miss a couple hours. You're not going to get in trouble for that."

  "That's not what I'm worried about."

  "Then what is it?" he asks, concern in his voice.

  I pause, not wanting to tell him. Briggs has been with a ton of girls, all with way more experience than me. Even if I was ready for sex, I wouldn't want it to be with a guy as experienced as Briggs. He'd probably make fun of me and tell me I'm doing it wrong.

  "Ella, I wasn't implying we'd go to my house and have sex."

  I look up at him. "You weren't?"

  He smiles. "No. Although if that's an option, I'm all for it."

  I smile back. "Why does that not surprise me?"

  “Ella, seriously, I wasn't thinking about that. Well, I've thought about it, but I wasn't thinking that's what we'd be doing today. I was just thinking we'd hang out. Talk. That's it. I swear."

  I'm not sure I believe him. I want to, but I know Briggs, and I know what he's capable of.

  "You've thought about it?" I ask, my mind going back to what he just said. "About you and me..." I can't even say it. A few weeks ago, I never would've even imagined those words coming out of my mouth.

  "Having sex?" he says, finishing my thought. "Yeah. I've thought about it. Why? Does that surprise you?"

  "Kind of, since just a few weeks ago you said you were repulsed by me."

  "You said the same thing about me. You've been telling me that for years and yet you just kissed me."

  "I guess we both changed our minds."

  "What about other stuff?" he asks. "Have you thought about it? About doing more than kissing me?“

  I'm taken aback by the question, having no idea how to answer.

  "Have you or not?" he asks.

  "Um, no," I rush to say. "I haven't."

  The truth is, I have, but it was limited by my lack of experience. I could see it in my head, but I wasn't able to imagine how it would feel.

  "That's too bad," he says with a slight smile.

  "Why? What do you mean?"

  "Just try it. Let your mind go there and you'll see what I'm talking about."

  I tried, but it couldn't go very far. I wonder what Briggs was imagining, probably us in his shower. I'm sure that's what he meant when he told me he wanted to be home when I used it. Now I'm imagining that, and I shouldn't be.

  "Let's get out of here," he says, taking my hand.

  "Okay, but I'm giving them a different excuse. I don't think the assignment one's good enough. It's too e
asy to verify. I'll tell them I have a headache and have to go home."

  "So we're doing this?"

  I smile. "We're doing this."

  "Let's go back and get our stuff. I'll follow you home and we'll take my car wherever it is we decide to go."

  "We shouldn't walk into school together. You go first."

  As he's leaving, I get this rush coursing through me, an energy and excitement like I've never felt. I don't do stuff like this. Skipping class? Hanging out with the most popular guy in school? What is happening? This isn't me, at least not the old me. But the old me is gone now. It was left behind on the road that night. I'm someone else now. Seeing that man on the road, leaving him behind, and having to keep this secret with my three biggest enemies has changed me.

  After a few minutes, I go back in the building. The lunch period is almost over and the halls are filling up again. I spot Briggs talking to Ms. Whittaker. She nods and smiles, then walks off. He turns and goes past me, looking straight ahead. When I look back, I see him going out the door.

  I hurry down to the principal's office, having no clue if that's where I'm supposed to go. I've never done this before. They'll probably think I'm lying and make me stay at school.

  "Ella?" Ms. Higgins comes out of the principal's office just as I was about to go in. "Did you need something?"

  "I need to talk to the lady at the desk."

  "She's meeting with Principal Perkins. Maybe I could help. What do you need?"

  "I'm not feeling well. I have a really bad headache. I think I need to go home."

  "Of course," she says, looking concerned. "Go ahead. I'll make sure you're excused from afternoon classes. Are you okay to drive home?"

  "Yeah. It's not far. I'll be fine."

  "Okay, well, I hope you feel better."

  I walk off, thrilled that it actually worked. Ms. Higgins totally bought it. She didn't even question me.

  As I'm getting my stuff from my locker, Calvin comes up beside me. "You forgot this." He holds out the hundred-dollar bill.

  "Calvin, I told you I'm not taking it. You don't have to pay me."

  "Just take it. I don't need it, and I want to pay you for helping me."

  I take it from him. "Okay, you paid me, but it's really not necessary." I stuff the bill in my pocket. "How'd you get it back?"